What Went Wrong

Ika-siyam (Feelings)

I don't know what got into me pero the next day, I dressed up and prepped myself well. I wore my white boho dress paired with an oversized hat. I don't know why but I was actually excited to see him. At mukhang napansin yun ni tita Beth.

"San ba kayo pupunta ni Matt?" Nangingiting tanong nya.

"Lilibot daw po kami sa isla," sagot ko. Wala kasi kaming definite na plano. Basta sabi nya sya na raw bahala.

Maya-maya may narinig na akong engine ng motor. I calmed myself down bago lumabas. Matt looks very handsome in his island patterned shirt na unbuttoned ang dalawang butones mula sa leeg. I can't help but smile.

He furrows. "Why?"

I shake my head. "Tara na!" Sabi ko.

Inabot nya sa'kin yung extra nyang helmet bago ako sumakay sa motor nya.

"Kumapit ka, baka mahulog ka," sabi nya which I bet he meant literally pero binigyan ko ng ibang pakahulugan. Ano ba nangyayari sa'kin?

Nagpunta kami sa isang sikat na rock formation sa isla namin. I've also been here before and I really loved this place. Ang surreal ng pakiramdam pag nasa taas ka at nakikita ang pagpalo ng malakas na alon sa bato. It's terrifying yet beautiful.

Inalalayan ako ni Matt paakyat. It was very gentleman of him, I must say. Malakas ang hangin sa taas na sinabayan pa ng malakas na paghampas ng alon kaya muntik nang liparin ang sumbrero ko. Mabuti na lang at agad kong nahawakan pero dahil doon muntik na akong ma-out of balance. Matt caught me.

"Thanks!"

Nagpunta kami sa parte na hindi masyado abot ng alon. From that height, we can clearly see the surrounding ocean and the small lagoons just beneath the rock formation. I smile at the view. I don't remember this place looking so enchanted. Nature really knows how to set me in awe.

"Ang ganda," di ko napigilang sabihin.

"I couldn't agree more," sagot ni Matt. Lumingon ako sa kanya pero sa akin sya nakatingin. I know I blushed.

I folded the hem of my dress saka naupo sa gilid.

"I'll miss this," sabi ko maya-maya.

"Then don't go," sagot nya.

Natawa ako. "As if that's possible," sagot ko.

"Kelan ka babalik?" Tanong nya maya-maya.

"I don't know. Baka matagalan ulit," sabi ko with all honesty. I love the island but I'm not really comfortable with the island life. Mahina ang signal ng internet, nawawalan ng kuryente pag 12 midnight, at malamok.

"Eh kung ako ang pumunta sa'yo sa Manila?" Napalingon ako sa kanya. Seryoso ang mukha nya.

"Seryoso ka?" Tanong ko.

"Mukha ba akong nagbibiro?" Seryosong tanong nya rin.

"I mean, bakit ka pupunta dun?"

"To see you."

Napamaang ako sa kanya. This guy seems to be the impulsive type. We barely know each other. I don't think he's serious.

"What do you like about me?" I can't help but ask.

"I don't know. Just when I saw you, I know I'll be in trouble," sagot nya.

"Don't you think it's just a crush?" Tanong ko ulit.

"I'm too old for that," sagot nya saka matamang tumitig sa'kin. I can't win that staring contest so I look away.

"What don't you like about me?"

I didn't say I don't like him. Is that what he thinks?

"Because I live here? Because I failed as a doctor and I'm here doing nothing?"

I don't like to hear his self-pity talk. I guess he's been dealing with that incident on his own and he couldn't get away from that nightmare.

"I didn't say I don't like you," sabi ko maya-maya. "And please don't say those words about yourself. I don't look at you that way," sabi ko as I look at him. "Do you see yourself as a failure? No. Di ka failure, Matt. Stop blaming yourself," I told him.

Nagulat ako nang bigla nya akong hilain. He kissed me! I remember the taste of his lips. I remember the night I kissed him. Now I know it wasn't the alcohol that made his lips taste this sweet. I kiss him back and I know he feels it dahil lumalim ang halik nya.

His kisses make me feel weak. Before I knew it, nabitawan ko na pala ang hawak kong sumbrero at agad na nilipad yun. Agad kaming naghiwalay ni Matt at parehong natawa.

"I'll buy you a new one," sabi nya saka inalalayan ako nang akmang tatayo ako.

Nagpunta kami sa Sentro para kumain nang makaramdam kami ng gutom. Sa mini resto nila kami kumain. I can feel the heavy glances that people inside are giving me. I can also see that the others are giving me a deadly look.

"Ang sasama ng tingin ng fans mo," bulong ko sa kanya.

He looks around bago tumingin ulit sa'kin. "You're the first girl I dined with here," sabi nya maya-maya.

I smiled after hearing that. Kumakain na kami nang makita ko si Cherry na papasok at nagkatinginan kami. I panic a little but she smiles at me. Does she know already?

I look at Matt.

"The night you were drunk, I told your friend I'm planning to pursue you," sabi ni Matt nang makitang nakatingin ako kay Cherry.

"You did?" Gulat na tanong ko.

Tumango sya at saka uminom ng kape nonchalantly.

"Are you serious about me?" Tanong ko na nakatingin nang diretso sa kanya.

"Dead serious," sagot nya na tumingin din ng diretso.

"Then how would you pursue me pagbalik ko ng Manila?"

"I can always go there. I was actually planning to go to the city. Now I have a reason to."

Tumango-tango ako. "I don't believe in insta-love so I want to take things slowly with you," sabi ko.

"I'll prove myself to you. I'll make sure that you'll fall for me harder than you did with Andrew," sabi nya with a hint of mischief.

Napanganga ako. "How did you know?"

Ngumisi sya. "I have my ways. And I also told Andrew that I'm going to court you. He should know you'll be mine."

Natawa ako. "Confident, eh?"

"I wasn't at first. But your kiss encouraged me," he smiles slyly.

"Manyak!" I mouthed.

He invited me over to his house that night. He showed me his collection of different boat and bottled ship figures.

"I'm always fascinated with things like this," sabi ko sa kanya habang nakatingin sa collectuons nya.

"I've always dreamed to be a ship captain. But my dad wanted me to be a doctor so here I am," kwento nya.

"How come you also sing well?" Tanong ko saka naupo loveseat sa corner ng kwarto na yun.

"I guess it's innate in me," sagot nya na nakangisi.

"Yabang!"

I saw him getting a guitar hanging on the wall saka nagsimulang tumugtog. He's strumming the melody of Lifehouse's You and Me.

"Can you stay here tonight?" Tanong nya maya-maya.

I stared at him for some time saka umiling. "I can't. Maaga akong aalis bukas eh. I still need to pack my stuff," sagot ko.

I saw sadness in his eyes but he managed to smile.

"I understand," sagot nya.

Sinamahan nya ako sa pier kinaumagahan para ihatid. I admit I feel sad leaving that place...leaving him. I don't even know what we have but I know I like him.

"So, this is where we say goodbye," nakangiti kong sabi sa kanya bago ako sumakay ng bangka.

"I'll see you soon again," sabi nya which sounded as a promise to me.

I nod. Kinuha nya ang hawak kong phone saka may tinype doon.

"Message me pag nakarating ka na," sabi nya pagbalik nya ng phone.

I chuckled. "You really like me, don't you?"

He smiled saka iniabot na yung luggage ko sa bangkero.

"Bye!" Sabay na sabi namin.