Lost and Found

Chapter 7

"If you're in I'm in,

If you're down, I'm down,

Do you want this too 'cause I need it now—"

I stopped the strumming of my acoustic guitar when the door of our studio opened widely.

Pumasok mula doon si Ei na agad na nagtaas ng kilay sa aking kinakanta. Ngumuso ako para itago ang ngiti. I know he senses I'm up to something. I can't have him ruining my surprise.

"Have you seen Ex yet?" Pasimple kong tanong habang muling nagstrum ng walang partikular na kanta.

He looked at me thoughtfully, as if studying me. Tapos ay mabagal na umiling.

I pouted at his directions again. What are you thinking about, Eiahel?

Umupo siya sa harap ng study table na may magulong music sheets. Its his usual spot.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagstrum habang nakatingin sa kanya. Tulad ng inaasahan ko, saglit lang ay nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin.

He sighed.

"Are you sure, Elle?" Seryoso niyang tanong.

Dahan-dahan akong napangiti. Ei will always be Ei. He can sense even your deepest secrets. Tumango ako sa kanya. Muli ay bumuntong-hininga siya. Unti-unti ay ngumiti siya sa akin.

"I wish you luck, this time. Both of you." Sabi niyang nagpalawak sa ngiti ko.

Yes. I'll be saying yes to Ex tonight. Yes, I'm in. Yes, I'll try. I'll sing both of those songs back at him.

These passed few days had been so hard for the both of us. Halos hindi kami nakakapag-usap ng maayos. Ate Janine always has her eyes on us na para bang anumang oras ay gagawa kami ng masama.

She's pressuring us to the point na hindi na namin alam ng gagawin. She won't let us be together... again. Naiintindihan ko siya. That she's just concern about me. But I'm old enough to decide for myself.

Sa aming dalawa, alam kong mas nahihirapan si Ex. Ate Jan keep on saying that he needs to get out of the band to have me. That's not gonna happen.

I know all of the boys are going to get mad for my decision but I'm sure I want this. I'm sure they'll understand me, though. Just like how Ei understood me. I'm quitting the band. I'm quitting for him. For us.

I'm on my usual black tank top and denim jacket, black skinny jeans and leather boots. The only difference from my usual garb is I wear my hair down. Its because I won't be handling the drums tonight. Lagi ko iyong naii-pony tail upang hindi makasagabal sa aking pagtugtog.

I'm up at the center of the stage, tapping the pointed heel of my leather boots on the floor of the bar club. Nasa tapat ako ng naka-lagay sa stand na mikropono. My heart's pounding the hell out of me. I swear I've never been this nervous my whole life!

I heard Ei released his breath at agad akong napatingin sa pinto. Malawak akong napangiti at halos nawala lahat ng kaba sa aking dibdib. Halos.

Ilang minuto na kaming naka set-up bago pa dumating si Ex. I don't know where he'd been the whole day and it wasn't important now. Ang mahalaga ay naglalakad na siya papunta sa aking direksyon.

Bahagya siyang nakatungo at sa likod niya ay nandoon sina Kassandra at Jasmine kasama ang iba pa naming taga-suporta at mga kaibigan.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin at nakita ko ang gulat niya nang nakita akong nakatayo sa harap ng mic. I grin at him. He didn't smiled back maybe because he's still at shock. As if this is my first time to handle the freaking microphone.

Zee is on my usual spot on the drum set so Ex picked up the bass guitar. Ang madilim niyang mga mata ay nakatutok parin sa akin. I continued to smile at him from our two-step distance.

From that time, I know this is worth it. I love this band so much. I can still remember the day we started up to this very night. Every songs we played, every gig and every jam. But I know he's worth it.

I'm holding my electric guitar and started to strum the intro of In while still smiling at him. I can't explain his expression. He's just staring back at me with that... empty face.

Zee, Ei and Yu accompanied my music except him. And it was the biggest shock of my life when he dropped the bass and walked towards me, still having that unreadable expression. Napatigil kaming lahat nang kunin niya sa aking harap ang mic. Then he looked away and smiled at the shock crowd.

"Ex..." I whispered but he didn't even bother looking at me.

Napatingin ako sa tatlo sa aking likod na tulad ko ay tila wala ring alam sa kanyang ginagawa.

"I'm sorry. I just... need to say somethin' before we start our rockin'" He smirked at the crowd who's now going crazy just hearing his voice.

Lumingon ako sa audience at ngumiti din.

"Before we start, I want all of you guys to congratulate me for today, I got my most waited answer."

There's a lot of "Oh's" in the crowd and I turned my head at him. My eyes widen. How did he know—

"Jasmine, she already said yes to me, tonight. Everybody, that beautiful girl in white, she's my girlfriend!"

Kasabay ng pagkawala ng aking ngiti ang paglawak ng sa kanya. Many of the audience shouted their congratulations. I saw Zee standing on his seat and walked towards us ngunit pinigilan siya nina Yu at Ei. I don't care about what's happening around us. I was just looking at him smiling as if he'd won a million.

I waited for that sharp pain that usually assault me in times like this but I felt... nothing. Lalo na nang bumaling siya sa akin at ngumiti. I know he's going to say that's just a joke.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" He asked mercilessly.

I can literally feel parts of me breaking but strangely, I can't feel at thing.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal na nakatingin sa isa't-isa. I'm looking thoroughly at his pitch black eyes to look for that one clue... but I saw nothing.

"Congratulations." Nagulat ako nang diretso kong nasabi iyon. Mas nagulat ako nang nagawa ko pang ngumiti sa kanya.

I guess... the joke's on me huh.

"Thank you." He smiled at me... genuinely and picked up the bass.

Ngayon ay siya na ang nagsimula sa kanta na... ngayon ay tila ayaw lumabas sa mga labi ko.

"WHAT THE—" I cut Yu with a look and started strumming my guitar.

Nakita ko ang pagtutol sa mga mata ni Yu ngunit tulad ng iniuutos ko gamit ang mga mata ko, he picked up his own instrument and played.

I sang my songs. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko natapos na awitin bawat salita nang hindi nagbi-breakdown. I actually did smiled at the audience, at my friends... at her.

Why didn't I saw this before? Jasmine. Halos matawa ako. She's one of my girls. I don't usually befriend girls but she, Kassandra and Abril are the exceptions.

I don't know how I survived that sick joke of a night. Akala ko, paggising ko, babalik na sa dati ang lahat. I thought, it was just a f*****g bad dream. I know Ex can't do that to me... again. He just won't.

Nagmamadali akong pumunta sa studio. Ex opened the door for me. He give me that devilish grin and I smiled back. I know last night was just a nightmare.

Then I heard a laugh. A girl's laugh. Tinalikuran na ako ni Ex at dumiretsong naupo sa couch sa tabi ni... Jasmine. She showed him something on her phone. In a second they're both laughing about something. No, I need to f*****g wake up!

Ei came up from nowhere and hold my wrist, guiding me outside.

"No." I shrugged his hold and walked inside.

I smiled at Jasmine nang nagtama ang tingin namin. She f*****g looked away.

I can't believe she's fooled by this asshole. I know for sure lolokohin lang din siya ni Ex. Alam niya kung paano ang laro na ito kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung paano siya nahulog doon. I smiled sarcastically. Bakit pa ako nagugulat? E ako ngang kabisado bawat galaw ng laro ay nahuhulog parin. Natatalo parin.

"Elle, why don't we get something to eat outside?" Pagharang ni Yu sa aking paningin.

Malawak ang mapaglaro niyang ngiti ngunit hindi niya maitatago sa akin ang galit sa mga mata niya.

I looked past Yu and saw Ex looking at me. Mabilis lang iyon at muli siyang bumaling kay Jasmine na may ipinapakita sa phone niya.

"No. I can... stay."

Until I saw him smile at her almost lovingly, put his hand on her exposed nape and played on those small hairs at the back of her neck.

No. I can't... stay.

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Songs used from the very beginning:

1. In

2. Try

3. Ordinary Life

All by my beloved Simple Plan ♡