Chapter 8
2233 Words
"Saan kaya ang hangal na Yu?" Maya-maya ay tanong ni Ei.
Nasa loob kami ng studio at nakakapagtaka na tirik na ang araw ay wala pa si Yu.
"Ang hangal na me?" Natatawang balik tanong ni Zee.
Umangat ang gilid ng pang itaas na labi ni Ei na nagsasabing hindi siya natutuwa. Natatawang pinapanood ko lamang sila habang nagba-browse sa aking f*******: account.
"Was that a f*****g joke." Asked Ei, the poker-faced.
"Napaka walang humor." Kunyari ay napipikon din na sabi ni Zee at umiling-iling pa.
Nangingisi na lang ako sa kanila. Napalis lang ang aking ngiti nang bigla ay nag pop-up sa aking newsfeed ang isang post.
Yuhan Xavier:
I betcha didn't know, you started up a chain reaction
Iyon ang naka-caption sa isang larawan na kanyang nai-post. Napigil ang aking paghinga habang nakatingin sa halos lahat ay kulay puting litrato. A close-up picture of a sleeping girl. Puting-puti na unan, at puting kumot na nakatakip hanggang sa ibaba ng mga mata ng babaeng nakahiga sa kama.
Ang nakasarado niyang mga talukap ay kilalang-kilala ko. Kabisado ng aking memorya ang pagtikwas ng makakapal na pilik na iyon. And I can f*****g identify those riot of curls from anywhere!
Kaya kahit na mga nakapikit na mata lamang subject ng picture na iyon, at ang nakasabog na itim na buhok sa puting unan ay mabilis akong napatayo.
"f*****g Yu!" Malakas na aking nasambit kahit pa marami pang mura ang naiisip ko para sa gagong iyon!
Nagmamadali kong hinagilap ang susi ng aking sasakyan.
"Huh? f*****g me?" Painosenteng tanong ni Zee na ngayon ay alam ko nang hindi nga nakakatuwa.
"What, Ex." Nagtatakang tanong ni Ei na nag-iisang may matinong utak sa aking mga kaibigan.
Ihinagis ko sa kanya ang aking phone na madali niyang nasalo. Tapos ay mabilis din siyang tumayo at sumunod sa akin palabas.
"Huh? Ano, langhiya! Anong mayroon!" Habol ng hangal na si Zee.
Lakad-takbo naming narating ang aking sasakyan. Sa byahe ay nagpasalamat akong hinayaan ko si Ei magmaneho dahil nanginginig ang mga kalamnan ko sa galit sa ugok na Yu na ito na may gana pang lokohin at lalo akong inisin!
Xtian Hennares:
WHAT THE f**k YU
I commented on his post.
Yuhan Xavier:
I saw no intention on your face
It must have been some kind of chemical attraction.
I felt a spark, left a mark I can't erase
He replied the next lyrics of the song he captioned on the photo. f**k! I know that f*****g song! I know damn well what that means! Tangina! Hindi ngayon ang tamang panahon para sa mga kahayupan niyang biro!
Xtian Hennares:
I'LL f*****g KILL YOU, YOU'LL SEE
Nanginginig ako sa galit habang tina-type ang reply.
"Can't you make it faster, Eiahel?" Halos ay pasigaw kong utos.
He just looked at me sideways tapos ay binalewala ang aking pag-aalburuto.
"Aww, Ei, he's questioning your ability to go faster! Papayag ka ba ng ganyan?" Zee said, implying a dirty thought.
Binato ko ng kung anong matigas na bagay na nadampot ko sa dashboard ang isa pang ugok sa backseat.
Yuhan Xavier:
Cause I'm burning up it ain't no joke,
And all my cells are going rogue!
Caught up in a blaze with no way out.
And as my self-control goes up in smoke,
One more hit, I get so stoked that I,
I'm glowing in the dark,
You lit a fire in my heart!
Yu replied the next lyrics again, and my sanity goes up in smoke, too! Tangina! Tangina talaga!
Anong gusto niyang palabasin sa kanta na iyan? E kung silaban ko siyang tangina niya?!
I called the mother-f*****g asshole and he answered after three rings. Narinig ko pa ang tila pag-ngisi niya sa kabilang linya. Nai-imagine ko ang pang-asar niyang mukha na mamaya lang ay babasagin ko sa suntok.
"It was kicking that beat, steady in my body, until you pumped it up with gasoline," pang bungad niyang kanta at halos madurog ko ang aking telepono.
"f**k you to hell!"
Naiisip ko ang bawat salita ng kanyang kinakanta at talagang mapapatay ko siya! Kahit alam kong intensyon niya lang akong pag-apoyin sa galit at imposible ang nabubuo sa utak kong mga eksena.
"What? Why? I was just singing!"
"Where is she?!" I demanded.
"Who?" Pag mamaang-maangan ng gago.
"You'll be dead, Yuhan Xavier, so f*****g dead." Pinag-diinan ko ang bawat salita at bumaba sa sasakyan.
Mabilis ang aming mga kilos at muli akong napamura nang hindi bumukas ang gate ng bahay ni Yu.
Malakas na kinalampag ko iyon hanggang nakita ko ang paglabas ng hayop.
He's f*****g topless at magulo ang kanyang buhok. Ang utak ko ay nagbubuga na naman ng lahat ng klase ng mura.
Sinapak ko ang kanyang mukha pagkabukas na pagkabukas niya nga gate ngunit nakaiwas ang loko at may gana pang humalakhak.
Hindi ko na siya pinansin at diretso akong pumanhik sa kanyang silid. Hinihingal kong narating iyon.
Bumungad sa akin ang puti niyang kama, puting unan at magulong puting comforter. Wala nang iba bukod doon.
No riot of curls on a pillow, no thick and long lashed eyes. Nothing.
Kasunod kong dumating doon ang tatlo.
"Ano bang nangyayari sa inyo at napasugod kayo rito?" Maang-maangan na patuloy ni Yu.
Hindi ko siya pinansin at nagtuloy-tuloy ako sa loob. I sat on the bed, picked up a pillow and smelled it. Napapikit ako nang makumpirma iyon.
"f*****g p*****t! You gaytard! That's my pillow you're r****g!"
Sarkastiko akong napatawa. I f*****g know this smell. Dumilat ako at ibinato kay Yu ang unan niya. Tumayo ako at dumiretso palabas.
Why? What do I expect? That I'll see her here? At tapos ay ano? Alam kong lagi akong handang makita siya... hindi lang ako magiging handa sa magiging reaksyon niya. Its been two years. Two long f*****g years.
Gusto ko siyang makita... pero hindi ko pa yata kaya ang konsikwensiya.
I know I don't even have the right to look for her. I don't even have the right to wait. I f****d up big time. It might be the last time I f****d up with her cause I know I don't even have the right for another chance now. Ni wala akong karapatan na isipin ang isa pang pagkakataon. I won't justify what I did because no matter what reason, I still hurt her. I hurt her to the point of running away.
Elle is the bravest girl I know. And I made her run away. That speaks up how dumb, stupid and an asshole I really am.
Sumunod sa akin ang tatlo sa baba. Ei has his poker face as usual, Zee is pouting like stupid, while Yu has this stupid, sarcastic smirk on his face. I can still remember how they beat the s**t out of me that day Elle run away.
I badly wanted to punch that smirk out of Yu's face but I know he has that right to taunt me forever.
I sat on his white couch and rest my head on the back.
"Don't get jealous too much. I didn't... get that naughty." Yu smiled the demon that he is.
Ei scoffed and raised his eyebrow at the f*****g prick.
"Dream on, Yuhan. Dream on." Zee mocked.
Yu laughed out loud.
"You'll never know, Zee. I might be calling you cousin next days."
My hand automatically picked up a figurine on a side table and throw it on his smirking face! Humahalakhak niya iyang nasalo.
"These are my mom's idiot!" He said setting down the figurine.
Hindi ko na napigilan at tumayo ako para sugurin siya para bigyan ng sapak. Hawak nina Ei at Zee ang magkabila kong braso para pigilan ako.
"Whoa, bro! I can explain! Wala akong ginawa! She just came banging on my door and wanted some sizzling hot company!" Yu said shielding his face kahit ni hindi ako makalapit sa kanya.
Pumiglas ako sa dalawa at talagang sasakalin ko siya!
"Shut up, Yu. Don't push your f*****g luck." Sabi ni Zee.
I shrugged both their arms and sat on the fucker's couch again. This is so freaking unfair!
From two years, ni hindi ko nasilayan kahit dulo ng buhok niya. While this fucker's been posting pictures like that. Hindi pinapakita ang buong mukha ng babae sa mga posts niya but it doesn't take a genius to know who that girl is. Of course Zee can see her, he's her f*****g cousin anyway. Pag bawal akong pumunta sa kanila o sa family event nila na usually invited ang buong banda, alam kong nandoon si Elle. And Ei... I don't know.
We were setting up on the stage of our mall show when I heard Zee curse silently on the phone. Kumunot ang noon niya at napatingin sa akin. I raised my eyebrow and he looked away.
We had our debut a year ago. Our band was introduced on a concert of a known band handled by our management. I can't say that our band is now well-known but I know we're up than before. Instead of just gigs, nagkakaroon na rin kami ng guestings sa concerts and mall shows like this.
I looked at the crowd and saw the same faces of the same supporters. Nadagdagan iyon ngunit nandoon parin ang mga simula sa aming university ay sumusuporta na. I grin at Jasmine, Kassandra and Abril. They all rolled their eyes at me. Hanggang ngayon, hanggang langit ang galit nila sa akin lalo na si Jasmine.
We are all ready and I sang my songs. Actually, everything I sing now is her songs. This way, I can feel like she's still with me. Sa tuwing naii-perform namin ang mga paborito niyang kanta, she will smile so wide. Such simple things can make her so happy.
I sang Simple Plan's The Rest of Us and imagine Elle in front of the drum set playing so lively. I smiled at the image of her smiling face. What I'd give to see her playing the drums again.
Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko ba siyang makitang tinutugtog ulit ang drums kasama ang ibig sabihin niyon. I never saw her since the day she just disappeared but I know a lot about her. That she's not listening to any songs that will remind her of me, that she's not touching any instrument she loved so much. And that she promised never to play the drums until she's completely... over me. That's a f*****g stab to my wilting heart.
After my song, I gave the microphone to Ei to give in to his fans' caprices. They wanted to hear his golden voice. Of course he can sing. We all can sing. We all can play any instrument. Its just a matter of preferences. I love Elle's voice but she love the drums so much.
Ngayong gabi, naisip namin na magpalit-palit ng places. The fans are demanding to hear each voice so we gave what they want. Pagkatapos na makakanta ni Ei, he passed the mic to Yu who passed it to Zee. After that, I walked towards Zee to get the microphone but then he spoke.
"Not all of us have sang our songs yet. Hindi alam ng iba sa inyo but once upon a time, the four of us have our princess."
Audible whispers surfaced. My heart started to pound. I can't take my eyes off Zee and his evil smirk.
"I'm daring that girl to come up to this stage and sing her piece." Pagpatuloy ni Zee sa naghahamon na boses.
Nanuyo ang aking lalamunan at natatakot akong lumingon. The crowd's whispering about Elle, at least those who know her.
Fuck. f**k. Just f**k it! What does that mean!
Napalingon ako sa kanila Yu at Ei at maging sila ay mukhang walang alam sa sinasabi ni Zee. Yu started to scan the crowd with his hawk eyes. Ei continued looking at me as if telling me to stop my thoughts. Dahil kahit ang isipin man lang siya ay wala akong karapatan!
Zee chuckled evilly.
"Still coward, I see."
I wanted to punch his face for saying that. How can he say that? If Elle is here—
Mariin akong pumikit at pilit na pinatay ang pag-asang pagkatapos ng dalawang taon... makikita ko na ulit siya.
My hand can barely hold on to Ei's guitar. My fingers are f*****g shaking from fear. I want to see her. I badly want to. But I'm just so f*****g afraid!
Takot na takot akong bumaling sa mga tao sa baba sa takot na makita ko siya doon na nakatingin din sa akin. I'm so afraid to see that hatred in her exquisite soft brown eyes. I'm just... so afraid.
Pero sa kabila ng takot, mas gusto ko parin makita siya. Kahit wala akong karapatan.
Unti-unting sinuyod ng aking paningin ang mga audience. I didn't saw her on the pack of the crowds but I saw a girl on a school uniform, having her back on us... walking away.
"So you're still running, huh."
I swear my heart stopped beating when she stopped walking at Zee's taunting. I know its Elle. She can never turn down a challenge.
She's wearing an ill-fitting white blouse and a long dark blue skirt. Her hair's in a tight bun. I hold my breath when she turn around and see her lovely face the first time... after a long time.
××
Eiahel... hmm. Which family do you belong, babe?
040717
- Writer
