Lost and Found

Epilogue

Mga taon ang lumipas pero parehong buhay at sigla ang binibigay sa'kin ng sigawan ng mga manonood. Ganoon parin. Simula ng unang tapak ko ng entablado at unang beses kong iparinig ang aking musika sa iba.

I still feel the nervousness, the doubt, the fear that maybe these people won't like me and my kind of music.

Sa paglipas ng panahon, nabawasan ang kaba na iyon sa bawat pagtapak ko ng entablado. Pero wala akong kasing kaba ngayong gabi. We've started this concert... last concert, I should say, earlier, but the beat of my heart still rivals the sound of the drums.

She's coming tonight.

Alam kong darating siya. Matapos ang anim na taon, handa na ulit niyang pakinggan kung saan kami nagsimula. Dapat lang na nandito din siya sa pagtatapos, hindi ba?

"Now, I'll really miss you, guys." I said over the microphone sadly.

The crowd groaned. Some shouted their protests. I can even see some of them in tears. Even I felt like crying. But I smiled. Dahil alam ko at alam ng lahat na kailangan namin ito.

It was our passion to make music. But it was never our lifetime dream. Each one of us needs to take care family businesses and some other plans.

We won't stop singing or jamming some times but we can't make this our permanent profession, because seriously, this is not permanent.

Magkakaroon ng bagong mga mukha, istilo, at gusto ang mga tao.

"I'll miss the stage, singing for you guys, those screams-"

I was almost deafen by the loud shouts and cries the crowd made. I chuckled. I'll f*****g miss this.

"But you know we have to do this, right? Hindi naman kami mawawala. You can still listen to our songs, you can still stalk me on f*******: and twitter... see how my love story went. Malay niyo diba?" I grin.

Yet deep inside, I never wanted something so bad but having that f*****g happy ending.

My smile faltered when I saw Zee giving me the signal. I froze. Planado ang lahat pero parang nakalimutan ko ang pinaka-basic na dapat kong gawin. Hindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos dahil natatabunan ng lakas ng dabog ng puso ko ang lahat ng sinasabi ng utak ko.

Napapikit ako nang magkagulo ang lahat at halos mabingi ako sa sigawan. I am used to the crowd being loud but I've never heard them this wild!

Many are shouting, some are crying but they are all saying the same name.

I shut my eyes tighter. Nanginginig ang buong pagkatao ko sa kaba, takot at saya. Hinigpitan ko ang kapit sa mikropono dahil pakiramdam ko ay mahuhulog ko iyon anumang oras.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago hinugot ang inipon kong lakas ng loob bago ko iminulat ang aking mga mata.

There she was... at the centermost front aisle. I was almost floored when I saw her gorgeously smiling at me. She's always too breathetakingly beautiful. And I can't f*****g believe she's f*****g smiling at me. I can't believe I'm seeing her. I can't believe I am finally allowed to see her again... to live again.

I saw Ei's cue and heard the first note of the keyboard but I was too occupied by her face.

Ngumiwi ako nang maiwan ng instrumentals. Dinaan ko iyon sa ngisi lalo na nang makita ko ang natatawang ngisi din ni Elle.

Sinimulan ulit ni Yu ang tugtog ng piano.

"You look so beautiful today, when you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away,"

I sang the first line and can't help but think that this song speaks exactly what I feel. She's too stunning it hurts to look at.

Nangingiti si Elle pero mula sa distansya namin ay nakikita ko ang kislap ng luha sa mata niya. Tumingala ako para paglabanan ang sa akin. I chuckled at the microphone. Almost everyone in the crowd is crying. I feel like goddamn crying, too.

"So I try to find the words that I could say, I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away,"

I am so afraid. Or paranoid. Both, probably. Natatakot akong bumalik na siya, nasa harap ko ngayon pero baka hindi na ako. Six years is so f*****g long. She might have found someone else and lost her love for me. She might have been here only to tell me that.

"And I can't lie, but everytime you leave my heart turns gray and I want to come back home to see your face and I, cause I just take take it,"

Tiniis ko iyon. Ang buong anim na taon na hindi siya nakikita. I perfectly know where she is. Hindi ko siya pinuntahan kahit makita man lang sa malayo. Kahit gaano ko kagusto. Kahit sobrang sakit na hindi man lang siya makita. I spent that whole six years only living with the image of her in my head. Gusto kong patunayan na kahit gaano katagal ko siyang hindi makita, marinig o mahawakan, siya lang... siya parin.

"Another day without you with me is like a blade, it cuts right through me, but I can wait, I can wait forever,"

Six years. And I'm certain I can wait longer. Even how long it would take to make her realize that this lifetime is for us... I can wait.

Pero sana ito na iyon. Hindi ako mapapagod maghintay pero gustong-gusto ko na siyang makasama.

"When you call my heart stops beating, when you're gone it won't stop bleeding, but I can wait, I can wait forever,"

I started to walk down the stairs at the middle of the stage.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang ang bigat ng bawat hakbang ko. Na para bang naglalakad ako papunta sa huling paghuhusga sa aking kaluluwa. Siguro dahil ganoon na nga. Nakasalalay sa kanya, sa desisyon niya ngayon, kung maisasalba pa ba ako o hindi na.

"You look so beautiful today, It's like everytime I turn around I see your face,"

I stood infront of her crying but beautiful face. It increases my fear. It feels like she's going to damn my soul to eternity.

"The thing I miss the most is waking up to next to you, when I look into your eyes, man I wish that I could stay,"

She smiled that smile I love the most. That genuinely happy smile. It lessen my nervousness. Maybe she's here to stay... maybe she's here to announce my salvation.

"I know it feels like forever, I guess that's just the price I gotta pay, but when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better... until that day,"

Now I'm sure the beating of my heart really rivals the beat of the drums. I smiled at her and get the things in the back pocket of my jeans to offer it to her again... for a different reason.

She cried harder upon seeing the pair of drumsticks I've given her eons ago. This time, they aren't a sign of her moving on from me. They are the signs of her taking me as hers. This time I hope it's for eternity.

Nakatayo ako doon at nakangiti na parang hindi ako naghihintay ng huling hatol. Sa bawat segundong nananatili lang siyang nakatitig sa mga drumsticks... at sa kumikinang na bagay na nasa isa sa mga iyon ay pakiramdam ko unti-unti akong nanghihina.

"Will you take it, keep it, and never let it go this time?" Tanong ko sa hindi napigilang pagnginig ng boses.

She looked up at me. At hindi ko maipaliwanag ang sinasabi ng mga mata niya. Halo-halong emosyon at ang iba ay hindi ko gustong basahin.

"I know it's too early for the... ring."

Tinungo ko ang kumikislap na diamante sa singsing na nakasuot sa isang stick. Sa tingin ko ay matatanggihan pa ito sa ngayon.

"But please accept the drumsticks, atleast." Bulong ko sa basag na boses.

I know her rejection will hurt this much and so much more but I guess I haven't prepared for it so well. I can't even look up with the fear that she'll see how much I'm hurting and took me back because of pity. No, I don't want that. I want her back but not because she feels sorry for me. I want her love just like before. Even if it was too much to ask by the biggest asshole that is me.

Nagulat ako nang hawakan niya ang aking pisngi para iangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was so entranced by the look on her face that I almost didn't notice when she took the drumsticks on my hands.

"I think I'd like to take them both."

I don't know If I heard her right. Did she... did she just said...

"Y-you mean-"

"I love you, Christian Kyle Hennares. You don't have to wait forever. I still love you and I know I'll never stop doing so. So I'm here now."

Napasinghap ako at huminga ng malalim. Pakiramdam ko sa sobrang saya, nakalimutan ko na kung paano kusang dumaloy ang hangin sa baga ko.

"You mean that." I sniffed.

Fuck. I wasn't aware I've been crying the whole f*****g time! Siguradong hindi matatapos si Yu sa pangbubwisit sa akin matapos nito.

Pero pwede niya akong bwisitin habang buhay basta sa akin si Elle.

"Of course. Would you rather I don't?"

I can't hold it all back anymore. I hugged her so f*****g tight I swear I can feel the beating of her own heart.

"What took you so long?" Bulong kong tila sumbat.

I am silently crying on her neck but silently saying my thanks in prayers.

"Maybe I was trying to make you miss me."

"Few days are enough for that. You're trying to drive me crazy, admit it!"

She softly chuckled and touch my hair.

"Maybe I am."

"I love you so much. Mahal na mahal parin kita hanggang ngayon."

"I would hope so since I came here to take you back. It won't do me good if you don't love me anymore, will it?"

Humiwalay ako sa kanya at kunot-noo siyang tinitigan.

"When did you start being so cocky?"

She just smiled sweetly like my perfect little Elle.

Nabalik ako sa tamang isip nang may marinig akong malakas na tili. Naalala kong hindi kami nag-iisa doon at nasa gitna kami ng concert.

Napangiti ako sa lumuluha pero masasayang mukha ng audience. Pero alam kong walang tatalo sa nararamdaman ko.

I hugged Elle again before turning to look at her fucker of a cousin, asking permission.

He rolled his eyes at me and raised his middle finger.

Muli ay tiningnan ko si Elle na pagkatapos ng lahat ay nasa bisig ko. Diyan lang naman siya nararapat.

"How many years have we known each other?" I suddenly asked.

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Since forever? We've practically known each other since birth."

"Ilang taon naging tayo noon?" Tanong ko kahit alam na alam ko ang sagot.

"Uhm, a year and a half?"

"Gaano katagal na kitang mahal?"

She pouted those cute lips. Damn! She's too f*****g perfect for me.

"I have no idea."

"That's since we've know each other." Since forever. Long before we were born.

Her cheeks turn into a lovely shade of pink.

"Why are you suddenly asking these questions."

I look at her gorgeous eyes, her small pointed nose, down to her bow of a lips.

"Have you ever wondered why even though we've known each other for so long, that we've been together for more than a year, that we've been loving each other since forever... I haven't kissed your lips until that day you want to f*****g go away?" I whispered, still looking at her lips, being enchanted by it.

"N-no..."

I look into her eyes again.

"Because I know the rule. Alcantara women can only kiss the man she'll marry. At alam kong aalis ka, kaya ginusto kong masigurong babalik ka so I kissed you without asking first. Now, I wanna ask you. Can I kiss you, Lynneth Carla Alcantara Sison?"

She turned a shade darker and nodded.

××

Again, thank you for reading! :)

And yes, the "Kyle" part of Ex's name is a spur of the moment thing. Labag sa loob ko yun ew. HAHAHA. Walang forever!

Ciao! See you all at the special chapters! I'm keeping all my cringe to myself for those chaps tho.

-r