So Confused

Chapter 15

Week passed after mag-back to class ay nagsimula na ulit ang training namin. In just 10 days kasi ay mag re-regional meet na. We need to train much harder kasi mas mahirap na ang laro sa Regional meet. Nararamdaman ko na rin kasi na madami dami nanaman ang ibabawas kong kilo.

Nauna ako kay Zylea na pumunta sa Gym, she has a thing to do first at susunod na lang daw siya.

I thought galit saakin si Karlwin because he never contacted me after nung away nila ni Levian, but I was wrong. He smiled at me nung pag pasok ko sa gym. He was running around the area kasabay ng iba pa naming teammate. Wala dun si Kuya Levian at yung iba pang lalaki.

He stopped in my spot at namewang.

“Papunas nga ng pawis Ms. Perez” he joked and flashed his familiar grin.

I can’t help myself but to smile. I miss that grin.

“Ang tagal mo laging dumating sa training”

“May klase pa kase ako, I still need to attend it”

“I am all alone here kanina”

“Baka kasi ang aga mo naman dumating.”

“Not really, sakto lang”

“HOY ANO YAN? Kayo ha.” Grant shouted as he reached our spot. Tumatakbo rin kasi siya.

Karlwin just smirked at him at pinalakihan ko siya ng mata.

I threw him my tissue pack. “Punasan mo mag isa mo” I said. He grab it at kumuha ng pamunas niya.

Tumakbo ako papuntang bench dahil baka asarin lang ako ni Grant, mag kaugali sila ni Zylea eh.

I started stretching my body para makasabay na akong tumakbo sakanya. Wala pa naman si Coach, pero hindi naman kailangang nandito si coach para magsimula kami, as he always say ‘hindi naman ako ang mapapalo’

He told us to be disciplined enough. Sarili daw namin ang makakatulong sa amin at hindi siya.

After I finished stretching ay sumabay na ako sa pagtakbo nila.

“Ate” Grant called me. Nasa likod ko pala siya.

“Oh?” I replied calmly

“Kayo ba ni Karlwin?”

Lumingon ako sakanya at kinunutan siya ng noo.

“What? Hindi ah”

“Sussssssss. Kayo ha, mapaglihim. Tagal ko na kayong pinagmamasdan. Iba ang galawan niyo ha! Yiiiiieeeeee”

I rolled my eyes. He sounded like Zylea. Papasa nga silang magkapatid.

I run much faster para makalayo ako kay Grant. Wala naman akong panalo sa mga pang aasar nila. Besides, whatever karlwin and I had, ayaw ko ng may iba pang makaalam noon. If ever this goes further, I want I private one. Ayaw ko na ng maraming nakakaalam, in that case kasi, marami din makikialam.

“Hoy!” Grant called. Nakahabol parin pala siya. Ang kulit niya. It is starting to irritate me.

“Kinikilig ka no kaya ka lumalayo?” He maliciously asked. Tinusok tusok niya ako sa tagiliran ko.

“Ano ba bunso?” I said and creased my forehead. “Hindi ako kinikilig. Ang kulit mo”

“Ay defensive. Hmmm. Mag iimbistiga ako. Malalaman ko rin kung ano yang tinatago niyo” he proud;y said and wiggled his brows as he run pass through me.

I rolled my eyes and continued running.

After a few rounds, I stop to rest. Nandito na din si Zylea at kuya Levian na nagkwekwnetuhan habang nag stretching. Hindi pa ata nila ako nakikita, kasi kung oo, panigurado ay tutuksuhin na ako ng babaeng yun.

“Laban?” Karlwin asked.

I smirked at him.

“Woah. Rebansa na ba?”

Pinunasan niya ang pawis niya gamit yung tissues ko at saka nagpamewang ulit sa harap ko.

“Hindi ako nun seryoso”

“Reasons. Sabihin mo lang na hindi mo ako matatalo.”

The last time kasi na nagsparring kami ay talo siya. I cannot say that its luck, dahil alam kong nilabanan niya talaga ako ng patas, but he keeps on denying it.

I clicked my tongue and grabbed the cane sa tabi ko.

“What’s at stake?” I asked

“If you win, you’ll date me tomorrow”

I pursed my lips. “Of course I’ll win. But that’s not a fair deal.”

“What’s not fair? You got to date Karlwin Rivarez”

I looked at him “And?”

He sighed “Marami kayang babaeng gusto akong maka-date”

I chuckled “Para ka namang w*****d character.”

“I’m serious”

“Whatever. Okay, if you win, I’ll date you, but if I win, hmmm.”

I can’t think of a consequence, lagi naman kasi na kapag natatalo siya ay ice cream ang hinihingi ko, wala naman kasi akong ibang gusto.

“I’ll kiss you” she proudly said while wiggling his eyebrows.

I looked at him in disbelief

“Lagi mong binabanggit yan…” I came closer and whispered “Do you have fetish with this soft tissues of mine?”

His lips parted. I winked at him bago ako lumayo para kunin ang gear ko.

.

“Body cell division?” I asked

“MITOSIS”

“s*x cell division?”

“MEIOSIS”

“Father of modern biology?”

“GREGOR MENDEL”

“Formulated the punnett square”

“REGINALD PUNNETT”

“Deficiency in Y chromosome, describe as lack of sperm?”

“AZOOSPERMIA”

“Premature aging?”

“WERNER’S SYNDROME”

Inilapag ko ang reviewer na hawak ko.

“Memorize niyo na ata to eh” I said sa apat ko pang kasama. May quiz kasi kami bukas sa Genetics, isa sa mga major subjects namin.

I’m quite confident with this subject, and nagpapahirap lang sakin dito ay ang professor namin. He is not strict or terror, he is funny and approachable. But when he gave quizzes or exams, it is always technical.

I remembered, nag pa true or false siya. I wonder why he capslock the direction ‘WRITE TRUE IF THE STATEMENT IS CORRECT, AND FALSE IF IT IS NOT.’

I thought it was just normal. And the statements were just normal. I thought I had fair scores on that quiz but I got only 3 out of 10 items. Lahat yun TRUE, nagtanong kami sakanya kasi halos lahat naman kami ay mababa ang score, he just chuckled and said ‘I said write true if the STATEMENT is true and false if its not, how can a sentence become a statement kung wala siyang punctuation mark?’

Lahat ng walang period na sentence ay false kahit tama ang nakalagay just because wala itong punctuation mark, at lahat ng sentence na may question mark ay false kahit tama just because it is a question and not a statement. Ganoon siya.

May naalala pa ako nun, nag mumultiple choice siya, the answer was in letter B, but the correct answer was none of the above daw kasi mali naman yung spelling ng nasa letter B. See?

“Tingin ko mape-perfect ko ang quiz ko bukas.” Zylea proudly say

“Ako rin, ang lakas ng pakiramdam kong maipapasa ko to bukas.” Maki said

“Hindi tayo sigurado, we know how weird Prof Buere’s assessments” Abi replied.

Natahimik naman ang dalawa. Pangiti-ngiti lang si Hazel.

“Basta bukas, we should keep an eye sa mga possible na kalokohan ni sir” Maki said.

I was about to utter a word ng magring ang phone ko. It was jade. I excused myself at lumabas ako ng foodcourt.

“Hello Jade?”

She didn’t reply. Kaya bigla akong kinabahan. Jade is a very cheerful person, she always shares funny stuffs sa akin kapag nagakakausap kami.

“Jade?” I called her name. I don’t know what happened, baka may nangyare nanaman na di maganda sa kanila ni Kuya. Masama pa naman na mastress siya dahil 4 months na siyang buntis.

“May klase ka pa ba? Can you meet me?” She sadly said.

May klase pa ako pero minor lang naman yun. I think pwede naman akong umabsent ngayon.

“Okay, saan?”

“Nandito ako sa tapat ng university niyo.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

The call ended and I hurriedly go back inside the food court. Kumakain nanaman ang mga kaibigan ko, kalian ba sila mabubusog?

I fix my things and put it inside my bag

“Aalis ka?” Abi asked.

“Jade called me” I told them while filling all my things inside my bag. Mamaya ko na lang ito aayusin.

“Just continue reviewing” Pahabol ko

Napatango naman sila. They know Jade, nag hang out na rin kami noong anim, they really like her.

“I-hi mo ako kay Jade girl” Zylea told me and waved her hand.

I walked fastly. Pakiramdam ko kasi importante ang sadya ni Jade sa akin. It’s been a long time nung huli kami nagkausap, naging busy na kasi siya sa Thesis niya.

Jade’s just 4 years older than me, she told me na wag ko na siyang tawaging ate dahil kung titingnan ay parang magkaedad rin lang kami. Magkasing tangkad lang kasi kami.

In just a minute ay narating ko ang coffee shop na sinasabi niya. She was eating a chocolate cake. Medyo tumaba siya ngayon, I think, due to her pregnancy.

“Jade” I called her as I reached her spot. Lumingon siya sakin at ngumiti ng tipid.

I take my seat at inilapag ang bag ko sa bakanteng upuan. I looked at her. She seems lonely, not the Jade I knew who was very energetic.

“What’s the matter?” I asked her.

Tumungo siya at hinipo ang tiyan niya. She bit her lower lips. Pinipigilan niya siguro ang badyang pag iyak niya.

I hold her hands na nakapatong sa mesa “Tell me Jade”

It took her a seconds bago inianggat ang ulo at tumingin saakin, kasabay ng unang patak ng luha na nakita ko sakanya.

I tighten my hold on her hands.

“I’m finally breaking up with your Brother, Amelie” she told me, directly looking into my eyes, with all the pains, frustrations and loneliness.

I was shocked. Never did I thought that one day, dadating sa point na titigil si Jade kay Kuya, sa loob ng apat na taon, she was always been understanding and accepting kuya Elyo regardless of what he can only give.

Naalala ko pa noon ng tumambay siya sa kwarto ko. She told me that she’ll become my sister, she proudly say that she’ll never get tired of Kuya.

“Jade” I called. I don’t know what to say. I can’t speak of anything with tears all over her face. I know how hard Jade has been just to pursue my brother, just to be with my brother, and now, seeing her giving up, hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko bang tama o hindi.

“I am practically understanding everything he is doing to me, iniintindi ko na may mali ako dito sa situation namin, but I can’t take it anymore.”

She wiped her tears and smiled at me.

“Ngayon ko lang naintindihan na hindi talaga ata pagmamahal ang pinakamahalaga para sakanya, na for him, love is just the assurance of the future generations to sustain human race.”

She said mimicking kuya’s way of speaking. She laughed in between her sobs.

“Jade?” I called her.

She looked at me “Yes sister?” she replied flashing her fake smile.

“What about the baby?” I asked her.

She didn’t respond immeadiately. She looked at her belly and smiled as she caressed it.

“I’ll be able to raise him. Gagraduate na ako ngayong taon, may job offers na rin ako sa ilang bangko.”

“But he’ll grow up without a fa-“

“I won’t let that”

Napatigil ako sa pagsasalita at lumingon sa likod para Makita si Kuya na nakunot ang noo.

“Elyo” gulat na sambit ni Jade.

“Can we talk?” She asked her and looked at me.

That’s my cue to get my things. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at ngumiti ako sakanya.

“Tell him everything, lahat lahat ng frustrations at galit mo” I said.

I was about to walk away pero binalikan ko ulit si Jade.

“I think you should talk somewhere private. He deserves beating” I whispered to her.

Kuya look to me with his poker face. Pinanlisikan ko siya ng mata bago ako tuluyang lumabas sa coffee shop.

I sighed heavily nung makalabas ako. Isinukbit ko ng maayos ang bag ko and glanced at them. Jade was crying and my brother looked like an asshole. Ni hindi niya man lang hawakan ang kamay. Napaka-gago niya talaga. Para siyang hindi marunong ng kahit kaunting bagay tungkol sa love and affection.

“Ice cream? That scene was rather heavy” A voice spoked from behind

Lumingon ako dun. It was Karwlin “Payment for your loss last time?”

He chuckled “Next time I’ll take fights with you seriously”

We started walking.

“Laging yan ang rason mo. You can’t just accept that you’ll never win against me”

“Next time Amelie, next time”

“Bakit mo nga pala nalaman na nandito ako?”

“I was calling your name, but you were in a hurry kaya siguro hindi mo ako narinig, so I followed you here not knowing na private pala ang maririnig ko.”

“It’s okay, hindi mo naman nalaman lahat. So where are we gonna get ice cream?”

“Saan ba meron dito?”

“Doon sa may tabi ng Pizza house sa may bus station, lakarin natin”

“Ang layo naman. It’s too tiring to walk”

Nginiwian ko siya. Ang ganda kaya maglakad, maeenjoy mo ang mga beautiful sceneries sa paligid. Well, I just realized it because of Levian.

“Meron ako sa apartment”

Since it’s my favorite food, its not surprising na mayroon ako noon.