So Confused

Chapter 14

The semestral break ended and we are again facing reality. Mag-aaral nanaman ulit.

“I MISS YOU SO MUCH GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLS” Zylea screamed as we approached her na kadadating lang. Ang dami niyang dala. Para siyang nagtitinda ng mga avon products.

She gave each of us super tight hug bago kami naupo sa isang bench.

“Ano ba to?” I asked her. Halos kasi hindi na kami magkasya sa bench dahil sa dami ng dala niya.

“My mom told me to give you that” She said at binuksan ang dala niya.

“This is or you…” She started. Inikot ikot niya yung parang lotion ba yun?

“Ah, Hazel” She continued. May pangalan pala na nakalagay. Tita is really like zylea, napaka-kulit.

Kinuha naman yun ni Hazel at nagpasalamat. She looked at it with confused face.

“Sabi ni mama, you smelled like a lavander kaya ayan, sayo daw yan”

We all frowned and look at Zylea na kinakalkal ang bag niya. You are as weird as your mom.

“And this…Sayo Maki” she said as she found the name written to the bottle of perfume

“Sabi ni mama, kasing innocent mo daw ang flower na ginamit jan. Hindi ko mapronnounce yung flower kaya hindi ko na lang sasabihin. Just look at it”

“Thank you” Maki said at tiningnan naman ang bottle of perfume niya.

“And this is for… Avegail”

“WOW” Abi shouted in glee ng Makita ang set of eyebrow pencils. Hindi ko alam kung anong special sa bagay nay un, basta ang alam ko lang, mahalaga yun kay abi dahil wala siyang natural eyebrows. Kapag wala siyang ayos, kamukha niya si Saitama sa One punch man.

“I think I don’t need to explain bakit yan ang pinapabigay ni mama sayo” she said

“Omg. I’ll call tita later. She is so great.”

“And lastly, this is for you Amelie”

She handed me a lipstick. “It’s my personal choice” She said and wiggled her brows.

Alam ko nanaman nasa isip niya. She is probably emphasizing that I wear this lipstick for Levian.

“Ano bang pinag-gagawa niyo nung sem break?” Maki asked. Sinisinghot singhot niya yung perfume na ibinigay sa kanya.

“My mom and I had a great time doing things” Zylea answered.

“Halata nga, dami mong natutunan na English ha.”

“Ay grabe Mackenzie!! Marunong naman ako mag English. Di ko lang feel minsan.”

“Joke lang. Ako, I had a very happy vacation.” Maki said with her wide smile.

Nagtinginan kaming apat. Alam na naming Brent-related nanaman ang bakasyon niya. Halatang halata sa mukha niya eh.

“What did you do this time?” Abi asked. She was shading all the eyebrows she received. She know all Maki’s crazy thing about Brent. Mas close kasi sila. Sa 2 years na crush ni Maki si Brent, hindi na siya nagugulat minsan si Abi sa mga pinagagawa ng bestfriend niya.

“Nagbonding kami nila Tito at tita”

“Close na kayo?” I asked

“Syempre naman. Magaling kaya ako” She boasted. Tumingin pa siya kay Zylea at nag smirk.

“Hoy hoy! Tinext ko kaya si Dane ng happy holidays no. Lagi din akong nag go-good morning sakanya sa loob ng 2 weeks.”

“Mahinang nilalang” Maki said and shake her sleeves.

“Sa loob ng two weeks, binulabog mo si Brent?” Abi asked

“Grabe naman yung bulabog. I’m just emphasizing more my presence” Maki proudly say.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit ang laki ng tama niya kay Brent. Kung sa appearance lang naman, Brent is a typical guy. Maputi, matangos ang ilong, maganda ang ngiti, medyo singkit ang mata. Wala namang kakaiba sa itsura niya para mahumaling masyado sakanya si Maki.

“So ano nga ginawa mo?” Abi asked

“Pumupunta ako dun every afternoon tas nagmomovie marathon kami nila tito at tita, and of course Brent. Tabi nga kami lagi”

“Tapos?”

“Ayun, nagsusungit pa rin siya pero feeling ko nasasanay na siya girl. Lagi na siyang naliligo bago pa ako dumating.”

We all laughed “Pati ba naman yun pagsususpetyahan mo pa?” Zylea asked in between her laughs

“Syempre naman, eh dati kaya wala naman siyang pake kung naamoy kong mabaho siya or wala pang ligo. But now, I’m feeling like pinaghahandaan niya na ako lagi. Ang bango bango niya lagi.”

We all laughed so hard at nagtinginan na lang.

“Bahala kayo, basta ako naniniwalang nagiging conscious na siya sa sarili niya pag nanjan ako, and it only means that…” She paused at ngumiti ng pagkalawak lawak. Pinagsaklob niya pa ang kamay niya.

“That?” Hazel asked

“May feelings na siya for me”

Silenced reigned. Maki receive a shoulder tap sa aming apat bago namin siya iniwan at pumunta sa foodcourt.

“Pano siya magugustuhan ni Brent eh bading yun hahahahah” Zylea said and laughed so hard.

Napailing na lang ako. Naririnig ko pa ang tawag ni Maki, telling that she is telling the truth. I feel very sad for my friend hahahaha. She has this weird checklist na magsasabi daw na may gusto na sakanya si Brent. Weird but cute.

“Giiiiiirl” Zylea whispered to me.

“Hmmm?” I replied at lumingon sa kanya.

“Papalapit si Kuya Levi oh, yiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee. Promise di ko kayo aasarin sa harap ng mga bugok na to”

Nginiwian ko si Zylea at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

“Hi Amelie” Levian greeted.

I smiled at him “Hi”

“Hiiii kuyaaaaa” Zylea greeted him.

“Hi. How have you been?”

I notice the three girls looki—more like drooling kay Levi which is now chit-chatting kay Zylea.

“Eherm” I coughed. They all blinked and flashes their fake smile to me.

“Girls, this is Levian Rivarez, med student sya dito. Team mate namin” pakilala ko kay Levian

Levian smiled at them and waved his hands. Naramdaman kong kinurot ako ni Abi sa tagiliran ko

“Ang pogi niya girllll” She murmured.

“Type mo?” I whispered back

“Hindi hahaha” she replied.

Ipinakilala ko sila kay Levian bago kami nagdesisyon na pumasok sa foodcourt.

“Ah amelie, May pupuntahan pa kasi ako. Gusto lang sana kitang ayain mamaya? It’s morris vaccination.”

Napa-ah naman ako. “Tagal kong hindi nakita si Morris.”

Napakamot siya sa batok niya “I’m sorry, Dad sent me to do some business matter sa Davao eh”

I smiled at him “Its okay, hintayin na lang kita mamaya sa apartment?”

“So sasama ka?”

“Syempre naman” I replied. He smiled widely and pinched my cheeks. Nanlaki naman ang mata ko at tumingin dun sa mga kaibigan kong malisyoso na ang mga tingin.

“A-ah, sige Kuya. See you” I said before walking towards my friends.

“Sabi ko sainyo diba?” I heard Zylea murmuring. Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata. I tought she’ll never tease me in front of the squad? This girl!

“Hahaha, sorry na girl. Si Kuya naman kasi, napaka-public. Nagtanong lang naman sila, alangan mag sinungaling ako?” she innocently stated.

“Type ka nun girl” Maki said

“Oo nga, halata naman sa ngiti niya eh” Abi added

Tumingin yung dalawa kay hazel

“Ah, oo” napilitang sagot naman nito at ngumiti ng pilit

Kaya tumango tango yung apat sa akin.

“Besides, I think he is a good man.” Maki said

Pinangunutan ko sila ng noo at nagcross arms “You know what? Kung ano anong iniisip niyo. C’mon, lets eat”

Nagpauna na akong pumunta sa foodcourt at umorder ng makakain ko.

.

“So far maganda naman lahat ng results ng test ni Morris, Mr. Rivarez. You have been taking care of him so good.” The veterinarian said matapos makuha ang results ng test ni Morris. Komportableng komportable naman si Morris na nakaupo sa couch at nakalabas nanaman ang dila. Ang laki laki ng mata niya.

“Thanks Dra. Acuesta” Levi replied and tousled Morris’ fur. He smiled at me proudly, like a very proud dad raising a perfect son.

“You’ll be a good doctor someday. If you’d like to accept my offer, I need an assistant doctor here. If you change your mind, you can come here anytime.”

“I’m sorry Doc, I like to focus on my studies. Maybe after my graduation, I’ll make some considerations.”

“Okay, just look for me if you ever change your mind.”

“Yes Doc”

Levian carried Morris in his arms at ikinabit ang tali nito.

“Let’s go home?” He asked me.

Tumango naman ako nagpaalam na kami sa Doctor.

We chose to walk on our way back. Nagtataka ako kasi ang yaman ni Levian pero wala siyang sasakyan. He always want to walk o di kaya naman ay magcommute kapag medyo malayo ang pupuntahan. Kapag tiningnan mo siya, napakasimple lang talaga. He always wore plain shirts and pants. Minsan nga nakatsinelas lang siya. Totally different with his brother, hindi naman magastos si Karlwin, but he is always wearing branded shirts, hindi niya naman pinagyayabang, nakita ko lang sa mga tags nito, mga famous clothing lines. I also saw him bringing his motor and sometimes a car sa school.

Pagkatawid namin ng kalsada ay binaba niya na si Morris para makapag-lakad lakad siya.

“You really love Morris, right?”

He smiled at me as he look at his pet sniffing everything na madadaanan niya.

“Yes. He’s becoming less of a pet and more of a companion.”

“And he’s cute”

“Yup. And I think, they care for human more than themselves”

“Talaga?”

“I think, kaya nga ako nag doctor, para mas maintindihan ko pa sila.”

“Ginusto mo na talaga mag doctor kahit noon pa?”

Tumango siya “I never dreamed of anything than being a veterinarian. I want to take care of them, gusto kong tulungan sila, iligtas sila.”

“You’d be a good doctor.”

“You think so?” he asked and looked at me with a smile.

“Oo naman. Praktisado ka na kay Morris eh.”

He laughed. “That dog, nung puppy palang sya, para rin syang baby human. Makulit, uncontrollable at ang dumi lagi. I thought I can’t last sa pag aalaga sa kanya. Buti na lang nagawa ko”

I laughed. I naimagine kong para siyang tatay na hindi alam kung paano babantayan ang isang 10 months old na bata.

“Ako hindi ko alam kung anong gusto ko.” I said

He stared at me

“Basta ang alam ko lang, ayaw kong pumasok sa business ni papa, so I studied education”

“And you are good at it, you’ll be a good teacher.”

“Ewan ko, baka. Ever since bata pa ako, wala talaga akong naaalalang gustong gusto kong gawin, nagising na lang ako nung mag cocollege na ako at ipinipilit ni papa na kunin kong course ay related sa business namin. I didn’t like that idea, so kung ano yung nakita ko sa tarpaulin, yun ang nilagay ko sa admission slip ko”

“it’s really a bravery resisting things. I’m proud you didn’t push yourself to something you don’t like”

“Ako rin naman kasi ang mahihirapan, I’m not good with business matter, kaya si kuya lang ang naaasahan ni Papa”

“Parehas tayo, pero I had to learn things about business. Panganay ako, and Karlwin’s not taking life seriously kaya ako muna ang inaasahan ni Dad.”

We walked a bit more until malapit na kami sa apartment. Hindi mo talaga mapapansin ang distansya kapag may kausap ka sa paglalakad.

“How was your vacation by the way?” I asked him.

“It’s fine. Nakakapagod lang talaga maging professional. I still prefer this simple life”

“I haven’t seen that Levian, yung simple lang ang lagi kong nakikita eh”

“Bec-“ he was stop by Morris’ bark. We looked at the direction he is barking and saw Karlwin approaching us, with his angry look.

“Kar-“ I was about to greet him when he punched his brother’s face.

My eyes literally widen. Wtf is happening?

Natumba si Levian. I looked at Karlwin who is raging, his fist are clenched at nakatiim ang mga bagang.

“Give it back!” he shouted to his brother

Levian slowly stand up. Ako naman ay hindi makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. I was utterly shock. I don’t know what to do.

“Dad asked me to do it!”

“You know it’s mine at the first place! Why would you agree?”

Karlwin grabbed Levian by his collar. His jaws tightened more and stares are much darker.

“Put your nose out of it! Akin ang business deal na yon!” Karlwin said before pushing his brother away.

He looked at me with those raging eyes before walking away from us. At noon lang ako nakagalaw.

Kinuha ko muna ang tali ng papalayong si Morris bago nilapitan si Levian. The side of his lips are bleeding, he got bruises on his elbows.

“Are you okay?” I asked him

He was looking at Karlwin’s retreating back. “I didn’t even want to deal with that business” he murmured.

Bumaba siya and tousled Morris fur. “You are supposed to bite him don’t you?” He joked

He looked at me and stood. “I’m fine Amelie, I’m sorry you had to see that”

“It’s okay. Sumama ka muna sa akin, gamutin natin yan”

We walked towards my apartment faster. Nilabas ko ang first aid ko, shocks, nakakatense naman to, unang beses ko palang mang gagamot, sa doctor pa.

Nilagyan ko ng alcohol ang isang cotton balls at idinikit iyon sa sugat niya sa siko. Napaigtad siya ng konti so I do it with extra care.

“You wouldn’t ask?” he asked.

Pansin kong linyahan nila yang magkapatid. They are always asking kung magtatanong ba ako, atleast, in that line, magkapatid sila.

“Would you tell?” I asked back.

He sighed. “It was that business deal I worked nung bakasyon.”

“And?”

“It was originally Karlwin’s business deal, he told about it kay daddy. It was his idea.”

I take another cotton balls at nilagyan ulit yun ng alcohol.

“Pero pinabayaan niya yun. He always cancel meeting with the clients, and it wasn’t just any clients, it was a big one. So dad approached me and told me to close that deal.”

“Hindi ka tumanggi?”

“Tumanggi. Of course I know that Karlwin would be angry, but dad is persistent. He wants to close it, I think he see big potentials sa deal na yun. And you can never go against my father.”

“I’m confused. Why would Karwlin get angry about it? Para naman sa business niyo yun.”

“Because he always wants to be better than me. He always wants to get things away from me.”

“You’re brothers” I replied

“He never sees me that way”

I chose not to answer. I don’t know what their real story is. What I’m thinking now is that look on Karlwin’s face. He is really angry, at nung tiningnan niya ako, parang wala man lang nagbago. Walang iba. He just look at me like, I was part of it, like I was nothing special.

Kumuha ulit ako ng isa pang cottonball, tapos ko na ang sugat niya sa siko.

I touched his bruised lips with the cotton balls at napaigtad ulit siya. I clicked my tongue at pinandilatan siya. I tried touching his bruise with the cottonball pero hinuli niya ako sa pulsuhan ko.

We stared each other for a few seconds. He was looking at me with those passionate eyes and I can barely move. He was looking at me with so much passion and intensity.

My heart raced as he comes closer to me.

Fck. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko. Bakit naman kung kalian kailangan kong gumalaw saka naman hindi nagpa-function ang mga nerves ko? Pakiramdam ko naninigas na lang ako bigla.

It was just an inch apart ng maramdaman naming parehong may nakatingin sa amin.

Morris makes a sound at halos sabay pa kaming lumingon sa asong nakaupo sa harapan namin na parang nanunuod ng pelikula.

Levian chuckled at kinuha si Morris. He tousled again its fur at kinarga.

I laughed awkwardly. Nakisali na lang ako kahit nararamdaman ko parin ang kaba at bilis ng t***k ng puso ko.