I Was Lost

Chapter 4

Pinasadahan ko ng huling tingin ang sarili sa salamin bago tumungo at umalis.

I'm gonna meet Dee! I've missed him so much. He was on travel for two weeks and he came today.

I parked my car then went in the airport. Gotcha! There he is, looking so handsome even with his annoyed face. I was about to get his attention when his face suddenly lit up staring at a certain direction.

Jilien. So she's here. I looked down and took a deep breath, hoping that somehow, it could ease the pain. I then raised my head and with a wide smile, ran towards them. I held Dee's arms ignoring the woman he's with.

"Baby, welcome home! " I said with a kiss in his cheek. I looked at the girl with a smirk in my face. I was about to confront her as to why he's with my man when Dee suddenly let go of my arms harshly. I looked at him with wide eyes. Questioning why he did that.

"Never again. I say, never, act like that in front of Lien, Rae. You don't know what I can do. "

With those words, they left. Tears started to pool in my eyes but I just shrugged it off and left.

Lights blinding, music deafening; ahh! This is what you call "living the life", though, am I? Funny, this is the first time that I felt so helpless all my life, or worthless? Nah! I just can't accept the fact that I lost him.

My mouth let out a chuckle.

"I lost him. " I whispered.

Gust kong umiyak, sumigaw, magwala, pero para saan pa? Makukuha ko ba siya? Magiging akin ba siya? Hindi, 'di ba?

I drank the liquor directly, not minding the bitterness that came with it.

"Wooh! That was hot. One more! " The bartender gave me another drink. I don't even know what I'm drinking anymore. I don't care. As long as it can help aleviate the pain, as long as it can help me forget even just for a day, then, I don't care.

"Well I do love you. You're like a sister to me. Of course, I love you."

"I love you Rae, but not in the way you're thinking. You know that."

"Don't make me hate you Rae."

"Don't ever come near me again! "

"Anong ginawa mo! Umalis ka Rae. Umalis ka! "

"I don't love you Rae. I never did. "

"I hate you"

Oh, those words.

I held my mouth, trying to stop the sound of agony that's slipping. I drank again, hoping that it can help.

I poured more in my glass. Binigyan na ako ni kuya ng isang bote. Tinamad na sigurong magsalin para sakin.

" Well, it's not everyday that you drink. " now I'm talking to myself. I'm losing it. The next second I found myself chuckling. Now, I don't know why but I'm drying my tears.

I took out my handkerchief, somehow trying to stop my tears from falling.

"Care for a company? "

I looked at the person who talked. He's handsome, I'll give him that, but sorry, not interested.

I took a last drink then went on the dancefloor leaving him there.

Dancing isn't really my thing, but this feels good. Somehow, my troubled mind calmed and those hurtful thoughts vanished.