Pretend To Forget

4. Get yourself ready.

Johann didn't show up for a whole week after that. Kahit pa panay ang subok nina Tita Lucinda at Sharlene na tawagan siya dahil hindi bumubuti ang lagay ni Lolo ay hindi pa rin siya nagpaunlak ng pakikipag-usap.

I felt so guilty. Kahit nasa school ako ay hindi ako makapagconcentrate. Sharlene and I were still in our third year in college. Kapag nakatapos kami, sa kumpanya ng mga Maguire kami magtatrabaho.

Johann was currently the CEO at twenty-six years old. He was ahead of us by five years. Maaga na napasa sa kanya ang pamamahala dahil sa hindi inaasahang pagkamatay ni Tito Jack halos dalawang taon na ang nakararaan.

He was on a business trip then when he had a heart attack and didn't make it to the hospital. Tapos after one year, nagkasakit naman si Lolo Thomas.

Kaya kahit hindi pa handa si Johann sana, he was forced to be matured and learn how to run the company. At sa maikling panahon, he had proven himself capable and worthy.

Johann loved the company kaya ang gawin iyon na collateral ng hindi niya pagpayag na pakasalan ako ay tiyak na mabigat sa dibdib niya.

"Umuwi na ba si Kuya, Mama?" tanong agad ni Sharlene pagdating namin sa bahay.

Malungkot na umiling si Tita Lucinda. That was when I knew I had to do something. It wasn't like I didn't know his number.

Siguro ay pwede ko siyang i-text o tawagan. I just hoped that he would hear me out.

Pero bago iyon ay pinuntahan ko muna si Lolo sa silid niya. Tatlong araw na siyang nakaratay lang sa higaan.

"Lolo," I gently called. Naupo ako sa gilid ng kama niya at ginagap ang kamay niya.

"Kate," mahinang sabi niya na marahang ngumiti. "How's school?"

"I'm doing my best to make you proud of me," sagot ko, pinipigilang maging emosyonal. It pained me to see him so weak like that.

Lolo Thomas was like a real grandfather to me. Ang kakulangan ko sa totoong pamilya, pinunan ng pamilya nila, led by this man.

"I've always been proud of you, Kate."

"Thank you, Lolo." I cleared my throat as I felt like I'm about to cry. "Masaya po ako na maging parte ng pamilya ninyo. I'm sorry!" At bigla na nga akong napaiyak.

"Sshhh…"

"Hindi ko po sinasadya na sirain ang relasyon n'yo kay Johann. Please tell him, Lolo, that you are no longer forcing him to marry me. I realized that I cannot make him love me this way. It's not worth costing your relationship," I cried.

"I was pondering over what happened," sabi ni Lolo. "Do you know what I realized?"

I waited as the old man smiled warmly at me.

"Mas mapapanatag akong mamahinga knowing that you will have Johann by your side. At panatag din ako na aalagaan mo ang apo ko."

"Lolo!" I reached out and huggged him. "Salamat po sa lahat!"

Sa mga sumunod na mga araw, lalo pang nanghina si Lolo. Johann hardened his heart and still didn't show up.

Nakailang message na ako sa kanya. I told him I'm sorry at hindi ko naman ipipilit na pakasalan niya ako. I just wanted him to come home and see his old man before he would regret not doing so.

But just as when I thought it was already hopeless, a calmer Johann arrived home.

Hindi siya nagpaliwanag kahit kay Tita Lucinda. But he went straight to Lolo and talked to him behind closed doors.

"Ano sa tingin mo ang pinag-uusapan nila?" Sharlene, who was as curious as me, asked.

"I have no idea," sagot ko naman. Sa totoo lang, ninenerb'yos ako. Seryoso ang mukha ni Johann bagamat mas kalmado ang aura niya.

"Sa tingin ko, nakikipag-bargain siya ngayon kay Lolo," hula ng kapatid ni Johann. "Pero duda ako na mapapapayag niya si Lolo sa terms niya."

"Do you think he would still change his mind about me?" Walang kump'yansang tanong ko.

"Bakit naman hindi? Kate, isang araw, makikita rin ni Kuya na ang babaeng itinutulak niya palayo ay ang babaeng kailangan niya sa buhay niya."

I sighed. Laging positibo si Sharlene pagdating sa amin ni Johann. Pero bakit hindi ko makita iyon? All I saw was how impossible Johann would ever see me as someone he could love.

"Kate."

Sabay kaming napalingon ni Sharlene nang tawagin ni Johann ang pangalan ko. He was standing a few meters from us pero kagyat ang naramdaman kong kaba.

Lalo pa at sa pinakaunang beses sa maraming taon, tinawag niya ako to initiate a conversation with me.

"Can we talk?" Malumanay niyang dagdag.

I nodded. Si Sharlene naman ay awtomatiko kaming iniwanan matapos bigyan ng warning look si Johann.

Nang maiwan naman kami ay binalot kami ng katahimikan. Johann sat across from me. Ipinatong niya ang dalawang siko sa mga hita niya bago pinagsalikop ang mga kamay at tumingin sa akin.

I felt like my heart was already in my throat. Pakiramdam ko matutunaw ako sa mga tingin niya.

"I talked to Lolo and we agreed that we should get married by month end," he said to start.

I was surprised. For almost a whole minute, I didn't find my voice. Did I hear him right? Did he just say we're going to get married?

"That's in three weeks, Kate. But don't worry, I'll be in charge of everything. All you have to do is to get yourself ready for the wedding," Johann continued.

"A-are you serious? I- I mean, what about Na—?"

"Natalie?" Sarkastiko niyang pagtatapos sa sasabihin ko. "You have the nerve to ask about her?" His jaw clenched as his eyes threw daggers at me.

Siguro kung pwede niya akong saktan, ginawa na niya.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know," sabi ko na nagyuko ng ulo. Hindi ko kayang salubungin ang mga tingin niya.

"I will marry you for Lolo's sake, Kate. Remember, I will never forgive you for this." With that said, he left and never looked back again.

I let my tears fall. Just as I thought, Johann will hate me forever.

But did it ever occur to him that I only did it because I love him so much?