Shattered Lanes

He's Not The Worse

[Eve's POV]

Inipon ko ang buong lakas ko para iangat ang aking tingin. The corner of his lips rose, obviously entertained by what he's watching. Napaawang ang labi ko at mabilis na iniwas ang tingin sa pagkapahiya.

Gosh, what did I just do?

Nung hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita ay akmang tatalikuran ko na siya pero pinigilan niya ako sa braso.

"You want to get better?" He asked me for confirmation but the mockery in his tone is quite obvious. Bumaling ang tingin ko sa mga estudyanteng tutok na tutok sa panonood sa amin.

Namula ako sa sobrang hiya kaya umupo ako sa bench nang nakatalikod mula sa kanila.

"What is it, Eve?" Agad na nagsitayuan ng mga balahibo ko sa batok nung maramdaman ang init ng katawan niyang umupo katabi ko.

"W-wala," sagot ko sa mahinang boses, sakto lang para marinig niya. I don't like being asked twice, it makes me feel like a fool for some reason.

"I hate it if I don't understand something and you're not willing to explain."

I bit the insides of my cheeks because of the authority in his voice, nakakasindak. Napayuko ako at pinaglaruan ang sariling daliri sa kandungan ko.

"I-i changed my mind. I can be better without you... or anyone's help." Nanginginig ang kalamnan ko nung sabihin ko iyun. Ramdan ko ang mabibigat niyang mga titig na siyang ikinayuko ko pa. Natatakot akong tumingin sa kanya. Natatakot akong makita ang nilalaman ng kanyang mga mata.

"Really? Even without Jacob's?" My lips parted when he mentioned Jacob. Agad na humarentado ang puso ko nang mabilis nung maisip ko siya. Kung gaano kabilis ang progress ko dahil sa bawat gabay na binibigay niya. He was the reason why I started to become confident... not until him.

"Stop relying on Jacob. He might make you feel confident but your play will never improve."

"You don't know anything."

"Oh, I do. I met a girl who Jacob used to train. She was confident and elegant when she plays because of Jacob. She joined the nationals but she was a wreck for obtaining the lowest rank, she was then disappointed in herself. Akala niya kaya niya na kasi iyun ang pinaramdam ni Jacob sa kanya pero hindi." Kwento niya sa kaswal na tono pero hindi sapat iyun para matanggal ang kaba ko.

"Jacob don't teach her students about the real things, Eve. The pressure, the distraction, the expectations, the doubts... everything. So, if you want to be strong, you should step out of your comfort zone. Only the weak settles for mediocrity and I don't produce weak players, Eve. I never do." Iyun ang mga panghuling salita niya bago ako iniwan para magmuni-muni at intindihin ang mga sinabi niya.

Tama... if I really want to get stronger, I need to step out of my comfort zone. Hindi naman kasi sa lahat ng oras ay ico-compliment ako ng mga tao gaya ng mga ginagawa ni Jacob.

"Hi," bungad ko pagkasagot ng tawag na galing kay Jacob.

"Where are you?" Agad akong napangiti dahil sa sigla ng boses niya.

"Nasa Lighthouse... I took Caleb's offer." I said, almost running out of breath.

"Mabuti naman. Caleb might not be the best teacher you'll find, he's strict but you'll learn a lot from him Eve. He's quite hard on the outside–"

"And soft on the inside?" I cut him off with a chuckle when I anticipated what he was about to say.

"No, still hard on the inside." Natatawa niya akong tinama kaya hindi ko maiwasang umiling habang natatawa na rin.

"Kung may kailangan ka pa, tawagan mo lang ako. I'm just one call away."

With Jacob's assurance, I can't help but feel motivated. Kaya napabuga ako nang malalim na hininga bago tumayo at malakas ang loob na nilapitan si Caleb.

"Ready, Eve?"

"Y-yes, Sir!"

Tumaas ang sulok ng labi niya dahil sa lakas ng pagkakasabi ko. There was persistence in my voice when I said that. I just don't understand... is he amused or he finds me funny and as a mere entertainment?

"Then, let's go."

Pinalaro niya muli ako. I was waiting for him to stop on what I was doing but he was just watching me all the time with hawk-like eyes ready to take on his prey.

Nasa pangatlong frame na ako pero wala pa rin akong may narinig mula sa kanya. Habang tumatagal ay mas lalong lumalamig ang mga palad ko.

Nilingon ko na siya dahil sa sobrang consciousness na nararamdaman ko. Agad akong napalunok nung magtama ang aming mga mata. He has the most serious gaze I ever laid my eyes on, his stares were so focus and intense na parang aakalain mong hindi na pumipikit.

Nagdalawang-isip pa ako kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. Sa bawat galaw ko ay puno ng pagtataka, takot, at pagdadalawang-isip. I look like a helpless kid as I make my way towards him.

"Ano na?" Hindi ko na napigilan at bumakas ang pagkainip sa aking boses.

"Just play... don't mind me."

"But you need to teach me."

"No, Eve, I don't need to teach you because you already know how to play. I'm looking for techniques that could improve your play a lot better. So... go on."

Wala na akong nagawa kundi kumuha muli ng bola. Humugot ako ng napakalalim na hininga bago buong lakas na pinadulas ang bola papunta sa mga pins.

I was surprised to witness a strike. Woah, the very-first clean strike I ever made in front of Caleb.

Hindi maalis ang tuwa sa mukha ko na nilingon ko siya para tingnan ang kanyang reaksyon... pero wala. His face was a complete blank, not showing any one mere expression.

.

"Tell me... about your day."

The corner of my lips rose after what he said. It makes me feel somewhat... important. Sa bahay kasi, neglected ako. No one seems to care about how my day went. Kay Jacob ko lang naramdaman pati na rin sa mga kaibigan ko.

"I think I can get along with Caleb," I said. Buong training kanina ay tipid lang na mga sagot ang natatanggap ko such as good, fine, or do better.

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

"Why?"

"You're the first person to ever said that. Even Caleb's students in the past still hates him."

"Why? He's not the worse." I truthfully said. I heard Caleb's side. He just wants to make his students strong even in the worse way possible. He wants them– us, to be strong not just in our play but mentally.

Hindi lang puros laro kasi. If we want to make our game big, we need to prepare for the consequences– the judgement, the doubts, and the expectations.