Shattered Lanes

You're On

[Eve's POV]

"Come on, Eve, that's not even half a minute." Napasinghap ako at umiwas ng tingin. Napalunok ako habang pinapakinggan ang takbo ng puso ko.

"Let's just go back," ani ko sa mahinang boses at akmang tatayo na pero natigilan sa suway niya. "Stay."

I immediately went back to my seat without any second thoughts. I feel like a puppy... just like always.

"I want to play," I murmured.

"I won't let you. You're not even comfortable around me."

"You're making me uncomfortable."

Natigilan siya sa pagsabat ko. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay na parang hinahamon. "Really? How so?"

I looked down in defeat when I realized what he's trying to do. "Because of your stares."

"Exactly! Now, look at me."

I sighed in defeat and did one of the things I was never good at, to stare into someone who is intimidating as hell.

I counted one... two.. three... and then six... seven and I couldn't take it anymore. Kagat ang labing iniwas ko ang tingin at mabilis na tumayo.

"Please, Sir, let's just do this some other time."

Walang imik siyang tumayo at pinauna akong umalis. Parehong nakakuyom ang mga palad ko habang naglalakad. I could feel his intense stares from behind, piercing through my soul.

Hindi ko alam kung intensyon niyang iparamdam sa akin ang ilang o ano. Pati sa paglalaro ko, mas bumigat pa ang mga titig niya.

I glanced at his direction and I could see him from my peripheral vision, leaning on the ball holder with his fingers playing his lower-lip. Bahagya siyang nakayuko at parang sinasakal niya ako sa kanyang imahinasyon sa paraan ng pagtitig niya.

"You're doing this on purpose." Hinarap ko siya nung nakaapat na frame na ako na walang strike.

He innocently looked at me as he shrugged. "What am I supposed to do? I'm your coach, Eve."

"You're purposely trying to make me feel uncomfortable with your stares."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Well, if that's the case then you should practice staring at me for a long time. Get used to my stares."

.

"One... two... three... Go!"

Nakakuyom ang magkabilang palad ko habang nakatitig nang diretso sa kanyang mga mata. Ilang ulit akong napakurap para pilitin ang sarili na tumitig sa kanya.

Habang tumatagal ay ramdam ko ang sarili na tumigil sa paghinga. His stares are just way too intense that it suffocates me.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagagawang tumitig sa akin na parang wala lang, na parang hindi niya alintana kung gaano kalaki ang epekto ng mga titig niya sa pagkatao ko.

Nung hindi ko na kaya ay kusang bumaba ang tingin ko sa timer na nakapatong sa mesa. Napaawang ang labi ko nung makita na labing-dalawang segundo lamang ang nakalipas.

"It felt like a minute," hinihingal na usal ko nang sa wakas ay nakawala sa kanyang mga titig.

"What?!" Hindi makapaniwalang bulalas ni Sir Caleb. "My eyes didn't even sting. Come on, Eve, you can do better than twelve seconds."

Really? Kaya ko nga ba?

Yeah, kaya mo 'to. Kaya mo! Kung makakayanan mo siyang titigan ng isang minuto, kaya mo ring gawin ang mas maraming bagay. This challenge is not even half-worse than the ones in real-world.

"Sige, isa pa but this time, try to look at me blankly. Don't make your stares too fierce."

"Seriously? That was a blank expression."

Seryoso siya? His looks can kill, it's suffocating! Hindi ako naniniwala na blank expression lang, his eyes are telling me otherwise.

"No, relax all the muscles on your face. Just look at me as if you don't really see me."

"But I see you, Eve... I see you." May diin ang pagkakasabi niya dahilan para mapalunok ako. Mas nadagdagan ang pagkabog ng dibdib ko sa sinabi niya. His voice were full of emphasis.

"Just pretend, okay?"

"Okay!"

Okay, hindi ko alam kung pang-ilang ulit na 'to. I just fail every single time. Ang pinakamatagal na pagtitig ko ay twelve seconds. Yes! Just twelve freaking seconds and it's killing me.

The timer ticked and he literally did what I told him to do. He looks lifeless as he stare at me. The emotions in his eyes were invisible. Walang kahit anong emosyon pero mas nadagdagan pa ang kaba ko... more like takot ang naramdaman ko.

Fear spreads in my system and I don't know why I just suddenly feel scared.

"Stop it. Just... look at me the way you used to."

Emotions flickered back in his eyes like ashes started to burn flames once again.

"You're on."

.

My energy has been dried and my body has completely worn out. I feel exhausted when all I mostly did was to stare at Caleb's notorious eyes.

It was around six pm when I arrived. My sisters are in the living room. Winny, swiping on her phone and Vri, sitting on the carpet while busy doing some school works.

Hindi na ako nagtangka na pansinin sila at binilisan na lamang ang paglalakad papasok.

"Oh, look who's here." Winny's voice made me stop.

"Sa'n ka galing?" Vri asked.

"Sa kompanya," walang kagana-ganang sagot ko.

"I heard from Dad sa factory ka nagtatrabaho."

"Of course, ate! She can't handle simple paperworks. I doubt she could even construct a simple essay." Nagtawanan silang dalawa pero hindi ko na pinansin at mabilis na dumiretso sa hagdan.

"Why does she have to go to school? She seem to know nothing anyways."

"I'm quite confused kung ba't nakaabot yan ng grade ten, she looks plain stupid ever since childhood."

Kagat ang labing pumasok ako ng kwarto at mahinang sinarado ang pinto.

Ano raw? I look plain stupid?

Mabilis akong umiling at tinakpan ang magkabilang tenga ko. Words, words, words! Those were just words! Stop listening to them.

Kalma, Eve. They don't know anything about you, okay? They don't have any idea na consistent honor student ka since elementary. So, don't shed tears for their worthless assumptions.

Tumango ako at humugot ng malalim na hininga, trying to gaslight myself. Napayuko ako at napahikbi dahil kahit anong kumbinsi ko sa sarili na walang laman ang kanilang mga pinagsasabi, pilit na nakatatak na iyun sa isip ko.

Come on, Eve! Hindi ka pa ba nasanay?

Umiling ako sa tanong na nasa isip ko. Hindi, kahit paulit-ulit akong pagsabihan ng masama, hinding-hindi ako masasanay... 'cause I know for sure that I don't deserve those words.