Undestined

HIS POV

Pagkagising ko sa umaga wala na siya sa kanyang apartment , may binilin lamang siyang notes sa lamisa . I suddenly feel hot all of a sudden , remembering what happened that night . 

" ahh ! more ! more ! "  He trust  his c*ck too deep in me . I exclaimed and moan very hard

waaaaah dont remember it ! . Lasing lang siya nong time na yun kaya niya nagawa yun . Bigla nalang lumungkot yung mukha ko dahil I know to myself that he was not on himself . I feel guilty all of a sudden . 

I smack my face and stopped for a while . I took a glimpse to his apartment then I started walking . mas maganda siguro na pumunta muna ako sa university . 

" argh ! what a day ! " 

Hindi man lang niya ako hinintay na magising , kung sabagay ako naman kasi ang nagpumilit sa kanya . I pushed myself on him even though I know that there's no possibility that he will look at me . 

Naglalakad lang ako papunta sa university ng may biglang umakbay sa akin .

" Andwin ~ " I feel shiver in my body when HE whisper my ear 

f*ck ! 

" shade ! the d*ck head ! "  I shout at him but he just pinch my cheeks 

" what's up ? " naka akbay parin siya sa akin , argh ! ang bigat naman ng kamay niya .

" no - nothing " I stopped for a while I feel his gazed 

" are you sure  ? " he pinch my cheeks

f*ck , its c*king hurts ! . Damn this guy !

" anyway , let's have drinks this saturday " 

hmm ? maybe it's okay to drinks ?

"don't worry I've got your back " he whispered between my ears but I just looked at him and smile . He shake his head and kiss my hair .  I didnt mind what his doing , I just shrug my shoulders but he just laugh at me 

"  I will go at him after class hihihihi "  I mumble myself 

Tinignan lang ako ni Shade saka siya tumawa . I think this guy was crazy.

Naglalakad lang kaming dalawa papunta sa klase namin , napansin ko yung ibang dumadaan napalingon talaga sila kay Shade. Ah well ! I dont want to brag but he have a good looks.

" Shaaaaade ! " may biglang sumigaw at saka nagwave sa amin

" tasha " 

" karaoke tayo mamamayang hapon , sama ka please " 

awkward ! hindi ko naman siya kilala kaya mas maganda lumakad nalang . Bahala siya diyan , iiwan ko talaga siya diyan.  Baka malate pa ako nito sa klasi

" sorry , Im kinda busy maybe later " saka siya umakbay sa akin

seriously ? pagkakataon na sana niyang magkaroon ng girlfriend 

" dude , Its time for you to have a lover " sinabihan ko siya pero bigla niya lang akong tinawanan . Bahala siya diyan mamatay siyang matanda na hindi man lang nakakaranas ng girl friend.

" whatever "  I dont want to argue with him so its better to keep my mouth shut

Lumipas ang ilang oras at parang discussion lang ang ginagawa ng professor namin . Hanggang sa matapos lahat ng klasi ko . 

Nakita ko si Shade na naghihintay sa akin sa labas kaya dali dali din akong lumabas na bitbit ko ang aking bag.

" wanna come to us ? "  

" no , Im kinda busy right now " 

I want to see him , maybe I will visit him at his office.

" ehhh ? why ? why ? why ? "

" not now but maybe later ? " I told him while looking at my phone

tawagan ko muna siya baka kasi maka istorbo ako sa trabaho niya

" then this coming thursday " I just nod at him 

" shaaaade ! let's go " narinig ko yung mga babae kaya nagpa alam naman siya sa akin pero bago siya umalis , humalik muna siya sa pisngi ko . I just glared at him but he just laughed

" weirdo "  sigaw ko sa kanya pero tinawanan niya lang ako 

Ring ! isang ring at bigla niyang sinagot ang tawag 

" hey kid , what's up ? " 

" are you busy ?  "

" hmm "  parang nag iisip pa siya saglit , narining kulang yung tuk tuk ng keyboard niya 

" nope , why ? "  Is it me or his voice was just too cold ? 

" then bye "  narinig ko naman yung sinabi niya na wait pero binabaan ko na siya ng phone 

If he is not busy then  I will visit him 

I started running towards the cab lane and wave my hand to the taxi 

" district hospital please "  tumango lang yung driver saka niya pinaandar yung taxi

" la ~la ~ la ~la ~  hmm ~ hmm ~ "  ang saya ko ngayon dahil makikita ko ullit siya. Kahit na kagabi lang kami nagkita but na mi - miss ko ulit siya. 

" hmm ~ hmm ~ la ~ "  bigla nalang ng ring yung phone ko 

kuya ? ba't siya tumatawag ? 

" yes ?  "  I lower my voice and asked him on the other line

" where are you ? "  narinig ko yung boses niya na napakalakas

" in the taxi "  

" nasaan ka noong gabi  ? " galit niyang tanong sa akin

OMG ! paano niya nalaman na hindi ako umuuwi sa apartment ? 

" ahhm "  ang hirap magsinungaling at mag explain sa kanya

" bakit wala ka sa apartment mo ? " 

pero hindi ko siya sinagot , dumalaw ata siya sa apartment at nagkataon din na wala ako doon 

" sorry bro , I can't hear you . hello ?  let's talk later "  I act like the signal was lost

" ANDWIN ! " I heard his angry voice so I just dropped the call

iba kasi magalit yung kapatid ko .

 shocks ! OMG !

" you can stop at the entrance nalang po "  tumigil naman yung taxi sa harap ng entrance , binigay ko sa kanya yung bayad saka ako bumaba

" Im here hihihihi "  I giggle and started walking 

Nasa third floor kasi yung office niya kaya kailangan ko pang mag elevator. 

Naglalakad lang ako papunta sa elevator saka ako sumali sa pila. 

Tininignan ko yung paligid at masasabi mo talaga na maganda yung istraktura ng paligid. Mga halaman naka arange ng tama mga bulaklak na maganda pagmasdan . Mga matatandang naka wheelchair na may hawak na bulaklak na nagpagaan sa kalooban nila

TIng ! biglang bumukas yung elevator at saka naman ako pumasok . Anim lang kami sa loob kaya hindi siya masyadong siksikan.

Lumingon ako sa gilid at nakita ko yung lalaking kasama ni Lino kagabi yung crush niya ata pero may boyfrien na pala . Nakatayo lang siya sa gilid ng button at may hawak na mga documents. Hindi ata niya ako napansin. 

Ting ! bumukas yung elevator pero hindi siya lumabas parang sa kabilang floor ata siya kaya binalliwala ko nalang .

Masaya akong naglalakad papunta sa kanyang office. Narinig ko mga bulong bulongan ng mga nurse na ang gwapo daw ni Doc LIno.. 

Ahem ~ Im proud being his lover . Self centered Lover , ako lang ata yung nakaalam na magkasintahan kami hehehe

" Nandito na ba si Nurse Ian ? " narinig kung sabi nong isang nurse pero umiling lang sila

" kapag dumating na siya , sabihan niyo na tinatawag siya ni Doc Lino " tumango naman yung ibang nurse at sinasabi pa nila na ang swerte daw ni Ian at siya ang parating inutusan ni Doc Lino pero hindi ko nalang sila pinansin.

Nakarating na ako sa office niya , sinilip ko saglit kung may pasyente ba siya pero buti nalang at wala na. Siguro 4:30 PM na kaya walang masyadong pasyente dahil sa oras. 

Nakita ko siyang may sinusulat sa papel saka siya humihib saglit at tumayo para kumuha ng baso. Napansin niya ata ako, dahil bigla siyang napallingon sa akin . 

Nanlaki ang kanyang mata saka siya guminhawa ,  hinihilot pa niya ang kanyang noo. 

Pumasok naman ako sa loob at saka siya yinakap

" Andwin " sabi niya sa akin 

" hey !  bakit ka umalis ? hindi mo man lang ako ginising ! " naka pout kung sabi sa kanya pero hindi siya sumagot

Umupo muna siya saglit at saka niya ako tinignan  

" your'e still a kid , what happened that night was an accident . Let's forget about it " he exclaimed to me 

Forget ? Its my first time doing it with a man and you want me to forget about it ? 

" Im not a kid ! " I insists on him 

" nalilito kalang siguro dahil sa iyong paligid " mahinahon niyang sabi sa akin

" No ! I already know who I am . Please dont dictate on me " I started crying and sobbing 

" I - I - I li - like you "  

" your'e still a kid . Your's just confused of what happened . It's just happened that I was present on that time " 

" Bu - but st - still I like you a lot *hic* "  tumayo siya at saka lumapit sa akin 

" just think about it "  

" or ma - maybe yo - your'e trying to push me because you still like him " 

napahinto naman siya bigla at saka niya ako tinignan . He averted his eyes for a seconds and trying to calm himself 

" anyway let's forget about it " hindi niya sinagot yung sinabi ko , maybe he is still like him ? maybe he doesnt want to give up on him ? 

" I REALLY LIKE YOU " I shout at him and the nurse who passed by was look at me and she continued walking 

" Your'e still a kid, you dont know what your'e saying " 

Why does he keep on insisting that I am still a kid ? 

" why can't you accept my feelings? "  I looked at him in the eye but he just averted his eyes 

I feel hurt all of a sudden but heart was tear like a pieces . I feel numb . Why cant he accept my feelings ? . I started sobbing . I want to stay strong so I will hold my tears for a while. 

"  ahm , excuse me ? " narining namin na may kumatok sa door glass at nakita ko ulit siya na may hawak na documents. I looked at him but he didnt looked at me , instead he was looking at that guy and plaster a smile 

STOP SMILING AT HIM 

" sorry doc but did you call me ? " 

" ah yes sorry ~ can you please review this data ?  "

they're talking each other . I feel distance all of a sudden 

" I HATE YOU  " 

I grab the glass door holder and pushed it. I looked at him for a last time hoping he will chase me but instead he just looked at me with a disbelief .

" I HATE YOU "  I shout at him and run towards the exit 

" he - hey wa - wait ! "  I heard him calling at me but I didnt turn back 

I cant stop my tears from falling . I'm running while crying . I feel so pathetic . I wont use the elevator , I feel ashamed to look at the other people so I will use the stairs instead. 

And suddenly a flashback was come to my mind . 

I meet him at the certain bar , he save me from those perverted jerks . You can say it is love at first sight , so I started stalking at him , until such time he notice me . I though he get angry but instead he just laughed and asked my name. 

I told myself that maybe I idolized him because he save my life but no , every time I saw him , my heart beat so fast. Later did I know that it turns out to be a Love.

 I really love him . I know he like someone else but Im still hoping for right chance and hoping that maybe I am special to him ? .

 I cant stop crying. 

I stopped running when I already in the cab lane . I catch my breath for a while and wave my hand on the taxi. 

Thinking about everything , its always me who's making a move .  Ha ha ha . I cant stop laughing at myself . How idiotic I am ? .  Bakit ngayon kulang to nalaman ? I keep pushing myself at him but he keep pushing me back .

What a life ! 

I looked at my watch and its already 5:06 PM .

Huminga ako ng malalim saka ko inisip ang lahat ng nangyari