Kiss or Slap

Chapter 11

____________________Chapter K

Namawis ang mga kamay ko habang nakatago ang mga ito sa likuran ko. I was anxious and the sound of my black shoes against the floor is making me uncomfortable, the more I step, I am becoming more aware that mas lalo akong papalapit kila Keith. Hiyang-hiya ako habang hilaw na nakangiti.

They caught me watching them! I was busted! Kung pwede lamang magpalamon sa sahig ay kanina ko pa ginawa...

"Isha. Why are you here?" Keith asked, he was crossing his arms, and his eyes were half closed.

Tumingin sa akin iyong babaeng maganda at ngumuso. She smiled mischievously at Keith bago ako sinulyapan. "Isha? Is it her?"

Nalilito ko siyang tinignan. Keith nodded at her before turning to me to follow up his question.

I purposely avoided his eyes and scratched my head. "Uhh..ano kasi.."

"I'm glad you're here," umpisa noong babae, pinuputol ako. Lumipat ang tingin ko sa kanya at sinalubong ako ng kanyang ngiti. "I really, really wanted to meet you."

Keith sighed and offered me a chair. Nagpasalamat ako at naupo roon habang pinapanuod nilang dalawa. He was crossing his arms on his chest with a little ghost of accusation in his eyes.

"I'm Zaja. Keith's younger sister."

Upon hearing that. Parang isang bulang naglaho ang sari-saring pakiramdam na kanina ko pa kinikimkim. She is his sister! Hindi niya girlfriend!

How could I possibly accuse Keith of something like that so easily?! Hindi siya 'yung tipo na makikipaglandian pa rin kahit may girlfriend na! Geez, what was I thinking?

"H-hi."

"I've heard so much about you," sinulyapan niya si Keith. "Lagi kang kinukwento ni Keith sa akin."

Napalunok ako. I knew it already. Ayos na. My dilemma is over... so can I escape now because this is too awkward?

Imagine, I just mentally accused random assumptions to Keith, and that is making me guilty kaya sobrang naiilang ako ngayon. Keith watched me with his half closed eyes, slightly showing his accusations. Para bang kung wala lang si Zaja ay kanina niya pa ako pinagalitan.

Zaja is his younger sister. What am I thinking?!

"Talaga?" Hilaw akong ngumiti sa kanya.

She nodded blithely, "Gusto mo?" She offered the chocolate.

Umiling ako. I like chocolates but it is too awkward to even chew or eat it in front of Keith. Kanina pa siya nakatitig, mas lalo tuloy aking kinakabahan.

Tumikhim siya bigla. Sumubo naman ng isa pang piraso ng tsokolate si Zaja at nginuya iyon habang nakasara ang mga bibig.

"The holidays are approaching. Ano'ng balak mo?" Seryoso niyang tanong sa kapatid.

"Go home and act like everything is fine." Zaja answered nonchalantly.

"Can you do that?"

"Of course, I can," Zaja smiled. "Iyon na ang ginawa ko simula noong nalaman ko. Paano'ng hindi."

Keith sighed. "Are you even comfortable here?"

"Keith. Ilang buwan na ako rito. Malamang ay nasanay na ako. It's enough that you are using your own allowance to pay for everything. Magdedemand pa ba ako ng high-end na hospital?"

Nagulat ako roon sa narinig, at the same time, I felt confused. Are they seriously talking about that in front of me? But regardless, is Keith...spending his own allowance to support Zaja's hospital bills? What about their parents? Nasaan sila?

Nagkunwari na lamang akong bingi pansamantala kahit sari-saring bagay ang nasasabi ko sa loob-loob ko habang naririnig ang palitan nila ng salita.

I was listening because I can...not because I was curious, alright?

Nagpaalam kami kay Zaja matapos nilang mag-usap ng siguro umabot ng isa't-kalahating oras. Ni hindi ko pa namalayan na matagal na pala iyon dahil naaliw na ako sa kakatunganga.

"I'll send you home." Keith announced.

Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay wala akong karapatang tanggihan siya dahil sa konsensya. Sinunod ko na lamang siya at hindi na umangal pa.

Tahimik lang kaming dalawa habang nasa byahe. When we're stucked in traffic, inilabas niya ang kanyang cellphone at puting air pods. He offered me the other one at walang sabi-sabi ko naman iyong tinanggap agad, I smiled at him.

He blinked once, pinanuod niya akong isuot iyong airpod sa aking tainga, at nang matapos ay dinungaw niya na ang kanyang cellphone.

Music played. Sinulyapan ko si Keith na kasalukuyang nagtitipa ng mensahe habang nag-iigting ang kanyang panga at nang i-send niya iyon ay nag-vibrate ang aking cellphone. Agad-agad ko iyong binuksan at nakitang galing sa kanya. Tahimik ko iyong binasa.

Keith: Please, do not tell anyone about anything that you heard nor saw. My parents think that Zaja was studying dormitory school and didn't know she has cancer. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy and we're hoping she survives before our parents know about it.

He typed another message and send it to me again.

Keith: Promise me.

All this time, sinusustentuhan niya ang pagch-chemotheraphy ng kanyang kapatid? Gamit ang sarili niyang allowance?

Kaya ba siya umiyak sa akin noon? Kaya ba ayaw niyang sabihin kung ano'ng problema?

Me: Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.

He glanced at me, slightly raising a brow but not in a mocking way. He sighed as his eyes went on my hand. Para akong nakuryente noong hawakan niya iyon, he just placed his hot palm on top of mine...namungay ang mga mata ko habang nakatitig doon.

Nang huminto ang sasakyan sa tapat ng aming bahay ay talagang sinamahan pa ako ni Keith hanggang sa labas at hinatid sa gate.

"Salamat, Keith... I'm sorry if...I was..you know, too curious and even... invaded your own privacy."

Kalmado niya akong tinitigan. He was unbothered and serene. Parang ayos lang sa kanya ang nangyari. Although, that didn't calm me.

"Why did you follow me?" His soft voice made me quiver in pure delight.

"I-I was curious."

"Because?" There was an invisible smile on his lips, "What made you curious? What did you hear?"

His aggression was blocked by his amazing calm aura. I almost thought he didn't care. He raised a brow at me, reminding me that he is waiting for my answer.

"I accidentally heard you talking to someone on the phone..."

His red lips protruded like I just said something amusing. And he blinked slowly. Humaplos sa hangin ang kanyang mahahabang pilik mata. He leaned his upper body forward. Tumagilid ang ulo niya at pinatakan ako ng halik sa pisngi. Nanigas ako sa ginawa niya.

"See you tomorrow."

I smiled but it wasn't showing anything. It's just a facade of my doubt, a way to hide it.

Kinagabihan ay tinawagan akong muli ni Mecho. Hindi ko sinasagot parati ang tawag niya dahil nahihiya pa rin ako. Pero nag-iba bigla ang ihip ng hangin. In fact, I felt guilty for...a reason.

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinagot?" Bungad niya.

"Bakit ka muna tumawag?"

"Syempre gusto kitang kausapin. Ano pa ba?" He explained. "Open mo nga camera mo, mag-video call tayo."

I sighed and just automatically obliged to him. Agad namang bumakandra sa akin ang nakangisi niyang mukha.

The vibe he's sending me is different. I can tell while thinking about Keith.

"Kumusta ang pag-iwas sa akin? Umasenso ba?" Tumawa siyang muli habang nagbibiro na naman. "Galit na galit ka ba sa kiss?"

"Huwag na nga nating pag-usapan. Tapos na."

"Anong gusto mong pag-usapan natin, kung ganoon?"

I wonder. Am I still reasonable for seeing Keith and 'entertaining' Mecho? Parang ako pa ang naiirita sa sarili ko. The first situation was so understandable.

I simply like Keith and I was a scaredy cat towards Mecho. Now that I am in the middle. Why is everything turning like...the opposite of my starting point? I should be glad dahil napapansin na ako ng crush ko, 'di ba? Ganoon dapat talaga!

"Jandra, is it still reasonable to..you know...Mecho was showing motives but never admitted he likes me. Is it okay to hide it from him if kunwari...Keith and I saw each other yesterday."

Nagsalubong ang dalawang kilay niya at bumaling sa akin. "You're seriously over thinking about that? Your dilemma is not even worth a dip to think about."

"Ano nga?" Mataman kong tanong.

"Kung hindi siya umaamin, bakit ka magi-guilty. He didn't clarify anything to you. In short, walang assurance. Our instinct weren't always reliable you know. Who knows if all he really wanted is to flirt with you and doesn't really want commitment? Masakit iyon, girl."

"Wow. Adviserist." Pang-aasar ko na lang. To be honest, I don't even know how to respond to that.

She flipped her hair and smirked. "Syempre. Future psychologist yata ito."

"Paano kapag umamin siya?"

Paano lang naman...it's not like I was hoping for him to.

"There is your assurance. Konsensya mo na lang kung kikitain mo pa si Keith." Nagkibit siya ng balikat.

"Eh paano kung si Keith ang umamin?"

Ano ba 'yan. Parang ako ang nahihirapan sa imahinasyon ko. Iniisip ko pa lang, sobrang hirap na. Now, I am so close to hoping that, that...by any chance, it won't happen. Ayaw ko pang maipit sa sitwasyon.

"Sis. It is so obvious. May gusto silang dalawa sa'yo. Pustahan pa tayo. Mauna man ang isang umamin, hindi pa rin maipagkakaila na may gusto pa rin sa iyo 'yung isa. Whether you like it or not, you are a rose between two thorns. And mind you, sooner or later, you have to choose."

"It was only a scenario. Ang dami mo pang sinabi." Ngumuso ako.

Na-triggered pa ako sa mga pinagsasasabi niya.

"But seriously, though. Seryoso ako. If Mecho and Keith likes you. It doesn't matter who confesses first. What matters the most is who you like...and who would you choose."

Ito ang ayaw ko, eh. Jandra always know how to corner me up and I would always try to avoid or dodge that. I wasn't yet ready to even think about that now that nothing is still happening.

Wala pa ngang umaamin! All I can do right now is to prepare myself for whatever's going to happen.

"Kumusta naman kayo ni Yeji...at uhh Duval?"

"Huh? Wala na. Tropa na lang kami." Humagikgik siya. "What happened were just pure flirting. No strings attached."

"Wow! Kina-flirt mo lang ang isang Maiko Yejiro Encinas at Shawn Duval Alcala? Iba ka!" Pabiro ko siyang hinampas sa braso.

"Ikaw nga nilalandi ng isang notorious bad boy na walang iba kun'di si Meekal Chollo Olivarez, at ng isang sikat at low profiled na council president na si Stevee Keith Ortiz! Mas iba ka dahil ikaw ang nilalandi!"

Nginusuan ko na lang siya. It wasn't flattering at all, alright?

"By the way. I couldn't join you at lunch. May pupuntahan ako."

So hindi niya nga ako nasamahan noong lunch. She went outside the school, may bagong boyfriend yatang galing sa ibang school. Or more so, does she even consider that one as a boyfriend? Baka mamaya, malaman ko na namang may iba na naman siyang kikitain. Minsan talaga, nakakainggit ang ka-preskuhan ni Jandra..para siyang walang pinoproblema at mayroon din palang magandang dulot ang hindi niya pagseseryoso sa pag-ibig.

No strings attached means, no pain in the end. Sana nga ay no strings attached din ang trip ko.

Mag-isa nga akong kumain sa Cafeteria at doon ako sa pinakagilid naupo upang hindi gaanong nakikita o kapansin-pansing nag-iisa. Apparently, while I was eating..Keith joined me. Dala-dala niya iyong sarili niyang tray. Tahimik siyang naupo sa harapan ko at 'saka nag-umpisa ng kumain.

Napatigil pa ako at nagising na lamang sa reyalidad nang umangat ang kanyang ulo.

"Eat, Isha."

"O-Okay."

I was uncomfortable, alright? Mahinhin akong sumubo at napainom ng tubig. Maayos kumain si Keith, at tuwid siyang nakaupo habang sumusubo. Hindi siya yumuyuko, at hindi rin siya nagmamadaling ngumuya. Samantalang ako kapag kumakain ay mayroon pang kalat! Kung gayon, mas mahinhin pa si Keith sa akin gayong siya ang lalaki!

Pareho na lamang naming naipilig ang ulo namin ni Keith nang biglang may umupo sa tabi ko at 'saka inilapag ang kanyang tray.

It was Mecho.

"Makikiupo ako, ah?"

Nalaglag ang panga ko at wala ng nagawa. Ni walang lumabas na kahit ano sa aking bibig! This is internally frustrating. Tumikhin ako at nagpatuloy sa pagkain.

Mecho's aura is oozing with slight accusation. He looked at me, and then looked at Keith. Pinanliitan niya kami ng mata, pinapakiramdaman.

"How's your ankle?" Tumihim ako, sinusubukang mag-umpisa ng usapan.

Sinulyapan ko si Mecho at nakitang sumisimsim lamang siya sa kanyang coke in can. Nakakabingi ang katahimikang namamagitan sa amin! I doubt Keith would start off with something. He was also too serious and nonchalant while eating.

"It's fine now," he answered and purposely glanced at Keith. "Mas madali sanang gumaling kung hinalikan mo."

I automatically glanced at Keith and saw him mindlessly eating. His jaw tightened but he never lifted his head.

"Finish your food first, Isha." Mahinang sinabi ni Keith. He was already halfway in finishing his food.

"Ang konti naman ng kinakain mo," puna ni Mecho sa akin.

"Patapos na rin ako." Depensa ko naman. Hindi makatingin sa kanya.

"I texted you, bakit hindi ako nireplyan? I asked you kung saan ka kakain para makapagsabay na sana tayo." Paliwanag ni Mecho at nagsalubong ang dalawang kilay.

Uminom si Keith sa kanyang tubig. Pagkatapos ay marahan iyong inilapag pabalik sa lamesa. Tapos na siyang kumain agad-agad.

"Ano'ng oras ka ba nag-text?" Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kinakain.

"Kanina. 11:45 or more so.."

"11:50, tinext ko si Isha pero nagreply siya sa akin," Keith suddenly chimed. Nagpupunas ng labi gamit ang tissue. Pagtapos niyang gamitin ay nilakumos niya iyon. "Right, Isha?"

Hindi ko talaga napansin iyong text ni Mecho. Noong nagtext si Keith sa akin, nagreply lang ako sa notification ko. Iyon na. Malay ko bang may unread message pala ako ni Mecho.

My bad.

"Nag-reply ka sa kanya, pero hindi nag-reply sa akin?" Mecho asked accusingly.

"Maybe she just doesn't wanna talk to you," muling sinabi ni Keith. His voice was cold and yet calm.

Mecho's brows furrowed in pure annoyance. Umigting ang kanyang panga at halatang nadadagdagan na naman ang pagkairita.

"Ikaw ba ang kinakausap ko?" This time, he turned to Keith.

Matuwid na umupo si Keith at inangat ang mga mata kay Mecho. "But she wouldn't answer you. She is eating. At least give her time to eat peacefully."

"I am letting her eat peacefully. She is not a saint to act fully prim. Pwedeng-pwede niya akong sagutin kahit kumakain siya," Mecho explained... halatang pinapantayan niya ang aura ni Keith.

"Paano mo nasabi? She does not have to act prim and proper. The fact that she did not even answer you is remarkably considered that she wanted to eat peacefully. Do not bug her." Keith remarked. Sinulyapan niya ako at muntik na akong manlamig nang magtama ang mga paningin namin.

"I always bug her. I doubt you don't. Acting really cool in front of my girl, huh? The only cool thing about is the fact that you're a stupid council president. You're just a nerd who happens to be in the right track of fashion."

Oh my gosh. Talaga bang mag-aaway sila dahil lang hindi ko ni-replyan si Mecho?

"What are you, then? You think you are cool? In the eyes of the stupid, yes. But for some educated people, you are just a mere wasted child who's wasting his life and dignity with the stupid ideology wherein he thinks that punching people until they dislocated their bones is cool."

"At least, I am not a nerd?" Umismid si Mecho.

"At least, hindi ako basagulero...at kahit papaano'y may modo. May respeto sa ibang tao. How about you? You can't even respect our subject teachers."

"Oh? Santo ka na niyan? Sa tingin mo mapupunta ka na sa langit dahil sobrang banal mo na? Respect, huh? Respect me and Isha and leave us alone."

"Ako ang nauna rito."

"Wala akong pakialam," kinuha ni Mecho ang kanyang coke in can at lumagok doon.

Mariin at pwersado niya iyong inilapag sa lamesa. Dahilan upang magsitalsikan ang mga laman noon. It splashed to Keith's coat. At natuluhan din ang akin! I glared at Mecho but he was only fighting death glares with Keith. Lumipat ang tingin ko sa coat ni Keith at nakita ang basa roon.

Ubos na ang tissue. At tsansa na rin para makaalis muna kahit saglit lang, tumayo ako at naglakad papuntang counter para makakuha ng tissue.

Nang makakuha ako ay tumalikod ako kaagad ngunit sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari ay may nakabungguhan ako. Idagdag mo pa na may juice iyon, dalawang baso pa at lahat ng laman noon ay natapon sa akin!

Nanlaki ang dalawang mata ko. Nanginig iyong babaeng junior high na nakabungguhan ko.

"S-sorry ate! H-hindi k-k—"

"Ang bobo, wala ka bang mata?" Iritadong sinabi ni Mecho na kararating lang. Si Keith naman ay nilapitan iyong junior at kinuha ang tray mula sa pagkakahawak sabay lapag niyon sa counter.

"S-Sorry po k-kuya Mecho.."

"Hindi mo sinasadya iyon. Huwag kang mag-sorry. Magpalit ka ng ng damit." Keith said to the girl.

He was just about to remove his coat for me but I felt a coat already hugging me. Tumaas ang tingin ko at namataan ang seryosong mukha ni Mecho.

"Tabi!"