Everything Started on New Year's Eve

Orange-Flavored Condoms

JAXX

 We weren’t able to stay long the second day at the beach. Ace’s dad called because Cole was being “impossible” again and he said his mom needed help. That was his way of saying his son was having a meltdown and there was nothing much he could do because Cole only calmed down with Ace or his mom.

 When I got home, I immediately called my friend, Leon. He has been texting me all morning about a very important matter that’s going to change my future. It’s been hanging over my head for a month now and I really hope he bears good news.

 “Pare. Tell me it’s not true.” I told him the moment he picked up the phone.

 “Yes, good morning, Jaxx, how can I help you?” he was teasing me. This was good news. No, this was the best news! It’d better be!

 “Oh for f**k’s sake, Leon! I’ve been dying for the past month!”

 “Yeah, well that was all on you because you couldn’t give me anything to work on.”

 “Puta, come on!” I growled.

 “You still don’t get it?” he laughed.

 “Tang ina mo, if you were there I would have stabbed you already! I want to hear it, Leon, so there won’t be any room for misinterpretation. What is it?”

 “Okay! Okay.” He laughed then fell silent.

 “Leon, putang ina!!!”

 He roared with laughter. He was finding my misery amusing! If he wasn’t a very good friend I swear I would really kill him after I get what I wanted from him!

 “It’s not you. It’s not yours.” He managed to say between laughs.

 “Thank f**k! f**k… tang ina! Whew!” by back hit the bed as relief washed over me and I could finally breathe again.

 “Did you really think it was yours? Yung totoo, Jaxx.”

 “Not really, but I had to be sure. The timeline didn’t add up but she was hell-bent on pinning it on me.”

 “Guess she knew the father wouldn’t own up and, well, you’re a pretty good catch – gullible and financially loaded.”

 “Gullible? Tang ina, she didn’t even fool me!”

 “Not this time anyway. Ulol, libog mo kasi kaya ka nadamay. She knew you’d sleep with her so she had the perfect excuse.” Leon pointed out. I hate to admit it, but he was not wrong. It was the same thing Ace said to me when I told him about Grace’s pregnancy, that she said it was mine.

 That shattered me because I was then I was falling for someone else, I was leaving for my MBA, and while I would easily man up and take on the responsibility of being a father, I wasn’t completely convinced it was mine. After all, I did realize that I wasn’t the only guy she was sleeping with. It was an assumption but I was pretty damn sure about it.

 Grace dropped the bomb during Val’s birthday. I had to immediately leave because she was a crying mess. If I weren’t so pissed with Cara and that Vince guy, I wouldn’t have answered her call. But because I was and I needed a distraction, I took it.

 We went to the OB for an ultrasound a week after and we were told that the baby was fine and that she was around 11 weeks old. Immediately, I knew it wasn’t mine but I didn’t show it. I’ve done my homework and I knew that the oldest the child could be, if it were mine, should only be 8-9 weeks, given the first time I slept with her. Ten weeks is pushing it, so it definitely could not be 11 weeks and 4 days.

 And because orange flavor, really?

 I didn’t have the heart to ask her, I thought it was rude, and, knowing how manipulative she is, she’d probably think of some way to get back at me if I did that. So I tried to play it cool and contacted Leon on how to do a discreet paternity test.

 Leon owned one of the laboratories that did DNA testing for these things and I was glad he was willing to help. He was a classmate from college and we knew each other from high society connections even before college. He knew my history with Grace, and he was never fond of her. Come to think of it, I think I was the only one that was fond of her.

 I don’t know if she knew she was pregnant when she came on to me, but I had a feeling she did. And Leon’s and Ace’s speculations were correct.

 Now how do I tell Grace.

 I didn’t want to bother Ace yet so I just texted him and I went to Seb’s instead.

 “Pare, congratulations on your new lease on life!” he hugged me as entered their house.

 “Thanks, dude, but it’s not over yet. She doesn’t know I know. I’m not sure how I’ll tell her.”

 He led me to the game room where he was playing Call of Duty with Chino.

 “Uy pare, long time no see!” I greeted Chino.

 “Yeah, I can only keep my eyes open for so long you know.” he joked. When the game ended, he turned to me and smiled.

 “Uh, yeah?” I swear Chino is so weird sometimes.

 “So when’s it gonna happen then, you and Cara?”

 Oh, so that’s the reason he was smiling. It was always a two-step question with him.

 “I’m not done with problem number one, Chingks.” I shook my head. From the looks of it, Cara and I? Not happening soon.

 “How did you tell her you knew about her involvement with Chloe, Seb?”

 “I didn’t. How did you expect us to be civil if she knew I knew?”

 “What? Why not?”

 “I haven’t spoken with Chloe yet. I need to talk to her first. She needs to hear my side first. Baka kasi kung anu-ano na naman sabihin ni Grace sa kanya, e di mas lalong hindi ko na sya makausap.” Seb explained, bitterness and annoyance lacing his voice.

 “Do you have an idea who the other guy might be?” Chino asked.

 “Some guy who fancies orange-flavored condoms.”

 “Ano?? How do you even know.. oh! Oh!” Chino’s expression changed from into three different emotions in a span of less than five seconds. It was funny seeing his eyes narrowing more in confusion it was almost shut, then widening in shock, to it squinting in disgust.

 “Oh, nasty.” Seb grimaced.

 “Exactly.”

 “Ingat ka lang Jaxx. I have a feeling that if you’re not gonna get fooled into fathering the child, she might have a ‘miscarriage’ and blame it on you.” Chino said almost too casually, it struck me.

 “Hey, I know she’s a b***h and you guys never really liked her, and I’m not gonna go berserk and smash your cars, but I think that was a bit too much, Chingks. Sure she’s manipulative but to go as far as killing her child? I don’t think she’ll go that far.” I was calm but there was an edge to my voice. That accusation was below the belt. Way below it.

 “Then I’m afraid you really don’t know her, Jaxx, so be careful.” Chino’s face now held no emotion. His voice was also flat, no judgment, no hint of remorse. I didn’t want to fight with them, but I needed to know what they knew.

 “Tell me then.”

 For the first time, I heard the entire story from Seb. It wasn’t the long and detailed version, but it contained all the facts I needed to see her in a different light, to understand why Val and Cara were dead set on not being friends with her and why it was imperative that once I’ve cleared things up with her, I have to stay as far away as possible from her.

 By the time I left, I still didn’t have answers on how to go about telling Grace. I had more questions than before I visited. But at least I knew what she had done to my friends and this made my resolve stronger. And at least I know that I should have a back-up plan should anything happen.

 I walked home thinking of Cara, and before I knew it, I was ringing their bell at nine in the evening.

 s**t, why did I do that? The gate opened and it was too late to back out.

 “Hey, what’s up?” she asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was in hoodie and a pair of lounging shorts. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and I really didn’t know what I was doing in front of her.

 “Yeah, you busy?” I stalled. Quick Jackson, think of some significant reason why you’re here!

 “No, not really. I was just watching Countdown. Oh! Do you want to come in? I know you’d like to see Rachel Riley.” She laughed lightly and started to make her way back inside as I followed.

 “I watch Countdown for the challenge, not for her. Come on.” I scoffed.

 “Oh, please. Diba crush mo sya?” She wiggled her eyebrows as a smirk made its way to her previously angelic face.

 What the actual f**k.

 “Did you just wiggle your eyebrows at me? Are you pimping me to Rachel Riley?” I asked.

 “Jaxx, it isn’t as if miraculously she’ll see you thru the TV. You look a bit stressed. And seeing that I’m a good friend, I’m helping you out because that’s what friends do.” She threw me a disarming smile. She was still talking before she stared intently at the television.

 I couldn’t get a word she was saying because everything after the second mention of  “friend” was white noise.

 Puta, did she just say friend twice in one sentence?

 “Hey, are you paying attention?” she slapped my arm. It wasn’t hard but I was taken aback.

 “What? S-sorry. I was just thinking of something else.” I mumbled I ran my hand through my hair and rubbed my eyebrows.

 Her eyebrows scrunched and she held my forearm. “Are you okay? You need anything?”

 “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just you know, stressed.” I laughed nervously.

 Why was I nervous? Why was I even here?

 Because you wanted to see her, you idiot.

 “You know, I don’t even know why I’m here. Sorry for interrupting your TV show, Cars.” I stood up but before I could leave Cara held my hand and I immediately stopped on my tracks. I felt my heart race and I had to fight the urge to intertwine my fingers with hers lest she’ll throw me out.

 Why was I suddenly so sensitive to her touch?

 “Hey, ano ba? It’s just a show. I just thought you’d like to watch since favorite mo naman. I mean, ikaw nga nag influence sakin na manood nito e.” she pouted. I suddenly felt a little fuzzy inside from hearing that I’d influenced her. I’m turning into a wuss.

 “Yeah, I’m sorry. The show’s fine, I’m just not myself today.” I didn’t make a move to pull my hand from hers but she didn’t seem to notice as she was still holding on to it, albeit lightly.

 “Jaxx, what’s up? Did you just really drop by or did you want to talk about something that’s bothering you?” she pulled me back down, but I needed fresh air so I pulled her up instead and led her outside their gate. I had no idea what I was going to say my reason was. I wanted to tell her my dilemma with Grace but thought better of it. I was left with no reason to be pulling her outside her gate and holding her hand except that I wanted to be with her. But could I tell her that now?

 I sighed and motioned for her to sit beside me on the gutter. Well, here goes nothing.

 “I came from Seb’s. I know what happened.” I started. Why I said that, I have no idea but it seems my mouth didn’t want to stop.

 “You know, I really feel like an asshole right now. To Seb, to Ace, to you guys, all because I was blinded by my feelings for Grace. After some time, I don’t even think it was love anymore. It was more of a fixation, a co-dependency. Like, I did not care about the consequences anymore I just needed to get my fix of her. It did not bother me what she did, or who she was with. I knew that I was just a side-piece, so to speak. It was casual, I realized eventually, but I was too hooked on that high, I….” I had to stop myself. I was a blabbering fool. But the emotions were running high and I needed to get whatever it was out of my system.

 “I didn’t even realize I was hurting the people around me. I thought I hurt Ace the most, yun pala, mas malala ginawa ko kay Seb. I remember bits and pieces of the past, like how Ace talked to me about not seeing Grace anymore, or at least spend time away from her by not bringing her during our practices. He asked me more than once. And napikon ako, thinking that he was being selfish, na he wanted my attention at work and pati sa practice pa. I barely recall fighting him or smashing the headlights of his car. Most of the time then I was a bit high. I was functional, but I was really f****d up.” I chuckled sadly while fiddling with the tear in my jeans, picking on the loose threads. This was embarrassing but I had to start somewhere. I wanted to come clean, I wanted her to know I was really over Grace and all the stupid things I did before.

 “I don’t know if you know, but it was Val and Chino who convinced me to go to rehab. After kami nagsuntukan ni Ace, he refused to talk to me. Seb, as it was, refused to talk to me kasi lagi ko naman kasama si Grace. And you were with Seb during those times. One day they paid me visit at my condo and after a very long talk, they convinced me to go to rehab. One of the best decisions in my life, by the way.”

 It was true. Taking that step into the rehab and filling out that shitty piece of paper was one of the best things that I did for myself. Except for the occasional blunts, I’ve been clean since.

 “Jaxx, are you still… addicted to her?” Cara asked quietly, her voice almost a whisper.

 I slowly turn my head to her and studied her. She played with a dried twig using it to push a pebble around the pavement. My heart beat faster in my chest if that were even possible, and I feared she might hear it thumbing. I sure as hell could hear it.

 I hesitated. I was over Grace, that’s for sure. But I didn’t know if what I felt for Cara would make sense to her.

 “Not for a long time now. I’ve been addicted to someone else.”