Everything Started on New Year's Eve

Maybe

“Kelan nga ulit alis mo, dude?” Seb asked Jaxx as we were driving to Batangas. He was seated beside me at the back while Ace drove and Jaxx was shotgun.

 “Two weeks from now.”

 “Two weeks from now is July 31. Sabi mo August 1st week alis mo.” Masungit na sagot ni Seb. Ramdam ko ang pag-irap niya kahit na naka-shades sya, kahit wala pang araw dahil alas-singko pa ng umaga.

 “August 3, 11:45 PM flight going to Seoul, then New York.  Two days after, I’ll fly to Pennsylvania. Happy?”

 “Sinong bestfriend mo doon?”

 “Syempre, ulol ka.”

 “Two weeks.” bulong ko sa sarili ko.

 “May sinasabi ka Carbuncle?” ako na naman pinagdiskitahan ni Seb.

 “Leche, kay Val mo nakuha yan, ano?” I glared at him. “Pakilakasan nga ang music, maingay masyado tong katabi ko.”

 “Ang tahimik nyo e, parang pupunta tayo ng purenarya sa Batangas! I thought we were going to the beach?” reklamo ni Seb

 “Nasa beach ang purenarya.” Bara ni Jaxx.

 “Tamang-tama, pa embalsamo ka na, mukha ka namang patay eh.”

 “Guys, shut the f**k up! It’s five in the morning and ingay-ingay nyo na. Buti sana if nagpakape kayo, hindi naman!” Ace interrupted them. Thank God for a referee!

 “Oh, speaking of coffee, I made you one. Here.” Tamang-tama nakapila kami sa tollbooth. Inabot ko sa kanya ang travel mug na may lamang iced soy latte. It was Ace’s favorite drink as of late.

 “Aw, thanks.” He smiled at me through the rearview mirror before taking a sip. “Wow, soy latte! Thanks, Cars! You’re the best.” his smile widened.

 “Sipsip.” Seb and Jaxx grumbled and sabay pa tumingin sa labas ng bintana nila.

 When we got to the private resort, the staff immediately greeted us. We were here a couple of times for the past year, not counting the times we’ve visited the years before. Jaxx and Ace were members, as well as Seb’s and Chino’s parents.

 We would come here on a whim whenever we craved for the beach or whenever we would just like to relax. Minsan, we found Jaxx here during one of those times that he was devastated and he just suddenly disappeared without telling anyone. Ace and Chino also frequented this place when their family got too overwhelming. This was their place of solace and in the past year, it has also become mine.

 Ace made the reservation this time, picking a small cottage on stilts over the beach. I had no idea how many rooms it had but it was never an issue. We always ended up sleeping in the sala or wherever we would end up drunk.

 “Dibs, ako sa sala.” Seb said as we entered the cottage. Seb liked sleeping on the couch in front of the TV. Sa mga panahong ganyan, he would be the epitome of a couch potato.

 “Ako sa first floor room.” Ace said. I shrugged my shoulders and went up the loft. There was only one room but it had two twin beds. There was also a second floor toilet and bath.

 Not bad, I thought. We were staying for two nights and Jaxx was a neat guy. I would rather share a bathroom with him than with Seb the slob.

 “Not a bad view, huh?” Jaxx joined me on the balcony and leaned on the balcony, resting his left arm really close to mine. His white shirt was plastered on his chest as the breeze blew, defining his pecs and his arms. There was an amused look on his face when he caught me checking his chest out.

 “Meh. Could be better.” I shrugged and looked away. I tried to act like it was nothing but I was sure the blush on my ears and cheeks gave me away.

 “That’s true.” He said habang tinitingnan ako na para bang nanggagago. “Sunset’s on this side though, it just might do the trick.” He winked.

 After a light breakfast, I changed into a wrap-around bikini top with thick shoulder straps – one yellow, the other white – that crossed over my chest and tied at the back, and a yellow bikini. I didn’t bother to cover up kasi didirecho lang naman ako sa beach and hassle na ang daming dala. Kahit shades ko iniwan ko na kasi baka mawala pa.  I just brought a sarong and a beach towel.

 Hindi ko na hinintay ang mga boys na magbihis because it seemed they wanted to stay in for the morning. Ako naman, I felt it was a waste of good beach weather to stay in. Saka na lang ako mag-hibernate after lunch.

 The water was a little chilly so instead of slowly wading into it, I dove under the waves as soon as the water reached my thighs and swam all the way to the small floating bamboo raft. It was already deep at this point pero kitang kita ko pa rin ang corals and mga isda sa linaw ng tubig.

 I sat at the edge of the raft leaving my legs dipped in the waters. I reclined and rested on my elbows. I wanted to get a good tan para meron akong pang inggit kay Val pagkauwi.

 Maya-maya lang, may narinig akong sumisigaw sa may bandang cottage namin.

 “Putang ina nyo, mga gago kayo!” sigaw ni Seb bago sya tumama sa tubig. Tinapon siya ni Ace at Jaxx sa dagat habang naka joggers at sneakers pa. Nakapalit na sila ng board shorts at pinatatawanan nila si Seb from the cottage. Minura pa sila ulit ni Seb bago sila tumalon mula sa balcony. They are really mature.

 Pinipigilan nilang maka ahon si Seb until binato nya na lang sapatos nya sa balcony and remained in the waters in his joggers. Ako naman dumapa na ng maayos sa raft at pinatuloy ko sun bathing ko. After some time, I had a nagging feeling that something was up when I realized na bigla silang tumahimik.

 I sat up immediately and looked around. Tama ang hinala ko because I saw Ace’s and Seb’s mischievous eyes peeping from the water before they turned over the raft. I splashed into the water. Akala ko madadaganan na ako ng raft but Jaxx was beside me and caught it before it hit my head.

 Okay talaga magplano ng katarandatuhan ‘tong tatlong to, may concern for safety. Pero lintik lang walang ganti!

 Buong umaga ko silang sinubukang gantihan pero I’m simply no match for the three rascals. In the end, I decided to just swim to shore kasi pagod na ako, at pikon pa.

 Nagising dahil ang kati ng ilong ko. Pagkadilat ko ng mga mata ko, may kamay na may hawak ng buhok ko at pilit itong pinapasok sa ilong ko.

 “Pucha, ano ba!” I swatted his hand away.

 “Wake up, the sun’s already setting.” Jaxx smiled at me while still holding on to my hair. He was lying in bed with me propping himself up with one elbow and was merely two feet away. He had his back against the window.

 Oranges and pinks were already staining the sky like swirls of paint on a palette. Soon, the reds and purples blended.

 Even though we’ve been friends for a long time and this is not the first time that he’s woken me up using my hair, this was the first time that he’s ever stared at me this way. The earlier mischief was replaced by tenderness when he dropped my hair and straightened my furrowed eyebrows.

 “Get up. Come on.” His voice softened as he pushed my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. His fingers lingered at the back of my neck and his eyes flicked briefly to my lips and suddenly my heart started racing. I could hear the soft crashing of waves and the twitter of the birds as well as the beating of my heart.

 I felt a little pressure from his fingers as he pulled me lightly but he stopped as soon as my breath hitched when he leaned in. His fingers suddenly felt cold as he swallowed hard. He removed his hand and ran it through his hair. When he turned to look outside, the sun was already dipping on the horizon.

 “W-we should go if we want to—“

 “Hoy! Bilisan nyo, palubog na ang araw!” Seb shouted as he stomped his way up the stairs. Dinig na dinig siya because the door was open.

 I jumped out of bed at inayos ang buhok ko bago pa man pumasok si Seb sa kwarto. I pretended to look for something in my bag so I didn’t have to face him dahil sa init ng mukha ko, tingin ko mas mapula pa ‘ko sa sunset.

 “Bat ang tagal nyong dalawa?”

 “Ask the woman.” simpleng sagot ni Jaxx. Traydor!

 When I turned around, nakahiga na sya sa kama with his hands behind his head, na parang kanina nya pa tinitingnan ang sunset. Na parang wala siyang pa-asa move na ginawa!

 Ugh! I hate him!

 “Oh. Okay din pala view rito ah.” Dumiretso siya sa balcony at maya-maya narinig kong nagmura si Ace sa ibaba namin habang si Seb naman ay tumawa ng malakas.

 “Dinner sa resto at six. You are gonna change, right?” Seb looked disapprovingly at my ruffled clothes.

 “Duh.”

 “Malay ko ba if you were going for the ‘straight-out-of-bed-maximum-gusot look’.” He began to make his way out. “Jaxx, you coming?”

 “Yep.” He stood and gave me a tight, awkward smile as he scratched his eyebrow. But he didn’t say anything.

 It was already two in the morning when we made our way back. We stayed at the bar until they had to absolutely, gently kick us out because it was way past closing time.

 “Tang ina naman kasi Cara, yang kaibigan mo! Ang labo kausap!” Ace slurred. I knew immediately whom he was talking about.

 “Ano ba kasi usapan niyo?”

 “Uh! Nevermind. You know, forget I even mentioned her. She’s just so lukewarm about everything. Like, give me a break, man!” Ace threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Ayoko ng booty call lang lagi.”

 “Huh, since when?” gulat na tanong ni Seb. “Umakyat na ba ang Syphillis sa utak mo?”

 “I’d like to think she’s not just for booty calls, that I’m more that just for booty calls. You know what I mean?”

 “Yeah, and I’m Elon Musk.” Seb said sarcasitacally.”You knew na wala naman ibang habol sayo ‘yon kundi katawan mo. At least di pera, diba.”

 “Hey! You’re talking about my friend.” I glared at Seb kahit na hindi nya nakikita kasi nasa harapan ko sya. Hinampas ko sya sa likod for good measure. Si Jaxx was quietly walking beside me.

 “Aray ko naman! Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m just telling the truth! Ace, tell her!”

 "Tell me what?”

 “Shut up, Seb!” hinanabol ni Ace na takpan ang bibig ni Seb pero naisigaw ni Seb ang kanyang gustong ibalita.

 “Jasmine said masarap daw si Ace.“

 “Tang ina ka, Miguel.” Sinapak niya si Seb sa likod ng ulo nito.

 “Oh god, please. At least you’re good in bed, right?” malapit na akong maduwal pagkasabi ko noon.

 “Aaand that’s it. Period. That’s all. Thanks.” Ace fumbled with the keycard. Who fumbles with a damn keycard?

 “Ace, akin na yan.” Jaxx reached for the card and hindi na nakipagtalo si Ace. He stepped aside once Jaxx opened the door and let us go inside.

 “Pare, I’ve never felt so used.”

 “Karma mo yan. Buti nga sayo!” I poked his chest as I passed by him. Tumawa si Jaxx at Seb.

 “Gago, tawa-tawa ka diyan, Ben? I’m not the only one who’s stuck in the friend-zone. Buti nga ako f**k buddy, at least...”

 “Uuuuy!! Foul! Time out, foul!” Seb shouted and made a letter “T” with his hands repeatedly. Nanlaki mga mata ni Ace habang nakatinging sa akin, na para bang may sikretong siyang nabunyag.

 “Ay, puta. Sorry.” he quickly covered his mouth. Jaxx immediately stopped walking and snapped his head at Ace, his jaw tensed. If looks could kill, Ace would have been dead ten times over.

 “Tulog na ako, mga dude. Lasing lang ako, I don’t know what I’m saying.” Ace said quickly and made a bee-line to his room.

 “Ah.. ako din. Goodnight.” Seb followed Ace to his room and closed the door behind him.

 “The loft’s all yours. I’ll just sleep here.”

 “Oookay. What just happened?”

 “Ace is just drunk and Seb is being himself. Don’t think too much about it.” He said without looking at me. Nagkunwari syang abala sa pag ayos sa sofa pulling it into a sofa bed. Galit ba sya? O napahiya?

 I sighed. “Okay, whatever. Goodnight.”

 “Goodnight.” He looked at me while I was making my way to the stairs and gave me a wan smile. It wasn’t anger or shame in his eyes; it was sadness.

 So I guess, Grace “broke up” with him again and giving him that cliché breakup line “I only see you as a friend.” Damn, that must have hurt.

 I felt bad for him and a little hurt for my stupid heart. Akala ko ba he was over her?

 Ano ba kasi Jaxx, ako na lang kasi! Hinding-hindi kita paglalaruan..

 The next morning, I woke up early considering tipsy ako kagabi at mag- aalas-tres na akong nakatulog. The cool, salty ocean breeze greeted me when I opened the balcony doors. Alas-osto pa lang ng umaga kaya hindi pa gaanong mainit, and there were just a few people in the shore. The water was calm and clear, I could see the fish swimming around the cottage. I bent forward a little and rested my forearms on the balcony.

 I heard the door open and nakita ko si Jaxx na nakaligo na at naka board shorts na, ready for another day at the beach. He was drying his hair with a towel with one hand while the other was pulling a shirt from his backpack. I could not stop myself from raking his body and I noticed the fresh tan line on his biceps. He wasn’t paying attention to me so tinapos ko na lang ang pagtitig sa kanyang katawan hanggang sa kanyang happy trail.

 Lord, konting tulong po.

 I quickly turned away as I felt my cheeks heat up. Tamang-tama din kasi bigla na naman syang tumabi sa akin.

 “Are you okay? You looked flushed.”

 “J-just sunburnt.” Pasulot ko. He nodded and looked at the ocean.

 “Are there beaches in Pennsylvania?” curious kong tanong.

 “I have no idea. I think it’s land-locked but I’m not sure. Maybe some lakes.” He chuckled.

 “How many hours ang time difference from Manila?”

 “Manila is thirteen hours ahead. You plan on calling me when you miss me?” 

 “’When’ talaga? Asa.” I scoffed. He just laughed lightly and shook his head.

 Oo, kung okay lang sana –that was what I meant to say.

 “Is your apartment close to your school?”

 “I’m not sure, I haven’t been there, you know. We can check it out together, if you’re free.” He gave me teasing smile.

 Gusto ko rin yan.

 “How long will your flight be?”

 “Will you come and visit?” he asked of answering my question.

 I wish I could.

 “Jaxx naman, seryosong tanong e.” I nudged his left arm with my right.

 “Me din naman, ah.” He bumped my shoulder and shifted a little to face me and look me in the eye. There was a hint of seriousness in his voice. Na-offend ba sya dahil alam kong nagbibiro lang sya?

“You know I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” he raised an eyebrow but his voice was playful. He was still looking at me pero umiwas na ako ng tingin. I can’t stand looking into his eyes because I know I will miss them.

“Can’t. I’ll be in residency.”

“Not 'til January, you won’t be.”

 “I have pre-residency in October and November.” I glanced at him briefly to see his eyes were still on me.

 “Then come on September or December.” He bargained. “I know you have a valid visa.”

 “Jaxx.” Hinarap ko na siya and gave him a stern look.

 “Cara.” bumalik na ang kanyang mapang-asar na ngiti.

 “Bakit, mami-miss mo ko kaagad kaya you want me to visit?” I turned the tables around. I knew he’d say ‘no’ or at the very least be vague. He wasn’t going to say ‘yes’, but I hoped he would.

 He bit the inside of his cheek and studied my face a little before answering, “Baka.” He shrugged and looked away.

 “Sus, baka lang pala. Wag na. Mahal pa ticket.” I answered with feigned irritation. Wag mo na kasing paasahin tong puso ko, Jaxx.

 “Pag sinabi ko bang “oo”, will you definitely visit?”

 “Hmm.. baka.” I mocked him.

 “Pa-asa.” He mumbled, smiling. I chuckled to myself when I heard it.

 Ulol, sino kaya sa atin ang pa-asa?