The Way You Loved Me

C18: The Poem

Chapter 18- THE POEM

Jorge’s POV

“Ethan?”

Nagulat ako nang mapatawag siya. He never called since he left the country. Kaya sinagot ko KAagad ang kaniyang tawag.

“Okay, I’m on my way.” I said, ended the phone conversation.

What bothered him to be here again? He is already at the airport. Nagpapasundo siya sa akin.

Kahit kailan, he’s good at timing. I wasn’t able to attend my last class for what had happened. I’m sure, magagalit lang ang professor namin kapag pumasok pa ako five minutes before the dismissal. Saktong wala na akong klase kaya nagmaneho na ako upang sunduin siya. Hindi naman kalayuan ang airport sa campus.

Sinigurado ko munang nakaalis na si Lhorr. I saw her walking with heavy hearts exiting this department building. Her steps are the only thing that guides her. I know for sure that she can’t get over yet of what had happened between her and Wilb.

I hurriedly went to the parking area of our campus. I am quite excited to meet my cousin again, because it’s almost eight years already since he left the Philippines.

Ethaniel Damione, but I used to call him ‘Ethan’. He is my cousin. He was also my childhood friend and playmate before. I treated him as my elder brother since we had a one-year age gap.

He decided to study in Thailand to pursue his career as an entrepreneur. Growing up, we treat each other as siblings. We are siblings that sometimes had war and misunderstanding especially if we have something in common. Hindi siya nagpapatalo sa lahat ng bagay.

Pagkarating ko sa parking space ng campus ay nakita ko si Sandara. She’s with three familiar faces.

“Bakit nila kausap si Sandara?” I asked, wondering. I didn’t expect they knew Sandara.

Sinubukan kong lumapit sa kanila upang marinig ang kanilang pinag-uusapan. I was pushed by my detective curiosity. Nagtago ako sa likod ng poste malapit sa hallway ng school. It’s meter away in the Communication Department.

“Deal!” Iyon ang huli kong narinig na sinabi ni Sandara.

Nakipagkamay siya sa tatlo kong kaibigan. Umalis si Sandara pagkatapos nang kanilang pag-uusap. I was disappointed to know they agreed to negotiate with Sandara. Lumabas ako sa aking pinagtataguan nang nakalayo na si Sandara. Lumapit ako sa tatlo na hindi pa rin naramdaman ang aking presensiya.

“Auhm,” I simply coughed, way to be noticed. As they turned, I saw the surprise on their faces as they saw me.

“Anong ginagawa niyo rito?” pasimpleng tanong ko. “Hindi ba may practice kayo ng banda para sa darating na Acquaintance Party? Malayo yata ito sa building natin?”

“Ah, w-wala. Nag-ikot-ikot lang kami, Jorge. Baka kasi makahanap kami ng puwede naming pag-praktisan,” sagot ni Tim.

“Hindi ba’t dapat kami ang magtanong niyan sa’yo, Jorge. Bakit ka naman nandito? Akala ko ba may klase ka pa?” tanong naman ni Shoi.

“Pinuntahan ko lang ang kakilala ko rito na gumagawa ng sticker sa sasakyan,” pagsisinunggaling ko. “Kaya napadaan ako. Hindi na ako naka-attend ng last subject dahil may susunduin din naman ako.”

“Si Janna na ba ‘yan, Jorge? Mukhang ang saya mo yata,” singgit ni Khen.

I throw a smile. “We’re over and we already moved on,” sagot ko sa kaniya. “O sige, mauna na ako sa inyo dahil may pupuntahan pa ako. Bumalik na kayo sa building baka hinahanap na kayo ng ka-banda niyo. Hindi rin naman kayo makakapag-practice dito.”

Agad na akong umalis pagkatapos kong magpaalam. I don’t want to be caught by them. I already heard everything and I have to act as if I don’t hear anything.

I headed to where my car was parked. I started its engine and drive towards the airport. The airport is 100 meters away the campus and I know Ethaniel has been waiting for me.

I arrived in the airport. I saw him standing near the taxi’s parking. He waves his hand when he saw me arrived. Lumapit na ako sa kaniya at kaagad na kinuha ang ilan sa kaniyang bitbit at inilagay sa likod ng sasakyan.

Sumakay na kami at agad nagmaneho pauwi. We got stuck in the middle of the traffic when I noticed something familiar on Ethan’s wrist. Hindi ko na lang ito pinansin pa.

“Why did you plan to visit here?” I asked out of nowhere, cracking the deafening silence enveloped the car.

“Ganyan ba ang pag-welcome sa isang kapatid, Jorge? I wasn’t expected that you’ve changed a lot. Just to answer your welcoming question, I just want to find peace here. I was exhausted with too much paper works in Thailand, so I think it’s time to have my vacation.”

“I know you, Ethan. You won’t be here without a reason. You can tell me. Besides, we’ve never kept secrets from each other, right?” I said, straightforward.

“After so many years, you can still read me, Jorge,” he said, smiling as if I caught him off guard. “Alright, I wanted to look for someone. I haven’t say goodbye the last time we met. I hope I saw her again.”

“Who is she then?” I curiously asked.

“I forgot her name, Jorge, but I am certain that I will be able to recognize her if we met along the way,” he said, with enthusiasm in his voice.

“It’s good to hear that you became interested to someone, huh. I’m wishing you luck,” I said.

After our short conversation, I played music to hinder the silence. Nakatulog din si Ethan sa byahe dahil may kalayuan pa ang mansion sa airport. After the long traffic, finally we’ve arrived. Nang makarating kami ay ginising ko na siya.

“We’re here,” I said, monotonous.

“Thanks for the ride,” he replied.

I get Ethan’s baggage at the back seat and led him in the mansion. Nanay Binda was shocked to see Ethan’s presence. But then she excitedly welcomed him.

Ethan hugged Nay Binda. After a short welcoming, we headed to the dining area. I saw the delicious foods prepared by Nay Binda for Ethan’s arrival. Alam kaya ni nay Binda na darating si Ethan?

“You were lucky to have this kind of welcoming, Ethan,” I said, with sarcastic tone.

“Ano ka ba naman, anak, syempre bagong dating lang ang pinsan mo. Hindi ko na nga nasabi sa iyo na darating siya dahil nga nagmamadali ka ring umalis kanina,” pagpapaliwanag ni Nay Binda.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Jorge. Hanggang dito ba naman naiinggit ka pa rin?” pabirong sabi ni Ethan.

“Why would I envy you, Ethan? Since then, I knew you were loved by everyone,” walang tono kong sagot.

“Halika ka na nga! Ito namang bunso namin matampuhin agad,” usal niya. “Don’t worry, Jorge, I won’t be that someone again. From now on, what’s yours will only be yours.”

May ilang beses na kaming hindi pagkakaintindihan ni Ethan sa mga bagay na madalas naming pinag-aagawan. Isa na roon ang pagdedesisyon niyang mag-aral sa ibang bansa.

I would say, he had changed a lot. Hindi na siya kagaya ng dati na ayaw magpatalo. Kaya minabuti ko na lamang saluhan sila sa pagkain.

Natapos ang aming hapunan at marami na ring na-ikwento si Ethan sa mga pangyayari sa kaniya. He’s now a Business Entrepreneur. Namamahala na siya ng kanilang isang branch sa Thailand. They own a known restaurant around the globe. Kaya hindi nakapagtataka na magaling rin siya sa negosyo.

Nagpunta na kami sa living room habang nagpa-iwan si Nay Binda sa kusina. In the middle of our conversation, I wasn’t expected his next question.

“Gano’n ba talaga tayo kapangit, Jorge, dahil hindi pa tayo nagkaka-girlfriend hanggang ngayon?”

I slightly laughed. “What a question, Ethan. Sa dami ba naman ng tanong ‘yan talaga ang naisip mo?” I asked, I couldn’t contain my laughter. “Hindi naman dapat minamadali ang pagkakaroon ng karelasyon kaya hayaan na natin dahil mangyayari din ‘yon.”

“Sobrang hilig mo pa rin palang maniwala sa mga impossible. Tayong mayayaman, kaya nating bilhin ang mga gusto natin, maski girlfriend pa ‘yan. Kaya ‘wag kang mag-alala, Jorge, dahil nandito na ako. Isasama kita sa susunod para makapamili ka sa kanila,” saad nito, may malaking kumpiyansa sa sarili.

Inakbayan niya ako. Agad ko ring kinalas ang pagkakaakbay ni Ethan sa akin.

“Totoo ngang nagbago ka na talaga. Sorry, Ethan, dahil hindi ako marunong bilhin ang girlfriend na ‘yan. I respect them like how I treat mom, your mom, and Nay Binda.”

“Ops, kumalma ka na muna, Jorge,” sabi niya, pagtataas ng kamay na parang sumusuko. “Iba naman sila, Jorge. ‘Yong mga babaeng tinutukoy ko ay sexy, malaki ang boobs, at madaling maakit ng pera. Ang mga babaeng madaling ihiga sa kama. Gets?”

“Ganyan ka na ba talaga mang-asar ngayon, Ethan? So, you just visited here to tease me with that thing? Well, I am busy with my business and I don’t want to join you if you are expecting I will accompany you with your stupid ideas.” Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapalakas ang aking boses habang kausap ko si Ethan. I heaved a deep sigh before I speak again. “I’ll go ahead. Magpahinga ka na dahil alam kong pagod ka sa byahe.”

Hindi ko na siya hinintay pa na magsalita. Agad akong umakyat papunta sa kwarto. Ngunit napatigil ako nang marinig ko ang huli niyang sinabi.

“Jorge, mas iba pa rin ang ibang babae kaysa sa kaniya. Maghanap ka na. Kalimutan mo na ang nakaraan.”

Hindi ko na siya pinansin. Dumeretso akong pumasok sa kwarto. I lie down in bed and stared at the ceiling. The different zodiac signs were still amazingly painted. I then decided to open my cell phone and browse my f*******: account. I scroll my feed and the picture of Zenn caught my attention.

“It’s almost eight years since you’ve been gone. I missed you every day.” Hindi ko namalayan na tumulo na ang aking luha.

Si Zenn Metacrus ang unang babaeng minahal ko. Ngunit namatay siya sa isang karumaldumal na krimen walong taon na ang nakalipas.

She was a victim of a heinous crime and I am still seeking for justice ‘til now. Hindi pa rin ako tumitigil sa paghahanap ng hustisya para sa kaniya.

Tumayo ako sa aking higaan. I was pulled to get the box in my closet where Zenn’s memories were kept. Itinago ko ang isang sulat na nakita ko sa kwarto ni Zenn, after she was killed and worst, raped.

Nakalagay sa huli niyang sulat ang isang tula na para bang may gustong ipaalam. Hindi na-aksiyonan ang kaso tungkol sa pagkamatay niya. I have feelings that investigators were paid to not continue their investigation in the case. Now, I need to continue searching for the suspect. I’m on the right age to do action with the case.

Simula n’on ay hindi ko na hinahayaan ang sarili ko na maging attached sa babae. I promised myself that Zenn is the only woman who will own my heart. But, why is it that I am attracted to Lhorr after we met? I don’t want to let myself fall for her that’s why I made all things possible so that I can stop seeing her.

At age of 17, I learned how to take revenge to someone who I think has connection to Zenn’s death. I’m doing it in the name of justice. We all wear a mask, and behind my mask is the person whose revenge is its upmost priority.

The only evidence I have right now is the poem she wrote. I never surrender this evidence in the cops, for I have a gut feeling that the one who killed her has connection with them.

I opened the paper that seems new after many years being kept. It was a poem she wrote after her passing.

LETRA

Sa bawat titig ko sa bintana tanaw ang napakagandang paligid,

Hindi ko alam kung muli ko pa ba itong masisilayan,

Pangamba ang nanatiling matapang sa aking sarili,

Hindi kagaya ng galak noong dati.

Dalawampu’t anim na letra

Subalit pito lamang ang nakalakip sa pangalan

Bilang na isa ang unang nalaman

Hanggang may dalawang apat na hakbang ang sumunod,

Ikatlong hakbang pa ang sumagi sa isip kasunod ang letra na nais iparating

Nagkaroon muli ng huling tatlong hakbang bago matanaw ang ikalawang sumunod na letra

Sa pagitan ng matinik na buhay,

Huli kong nasilayan ang letrang ika-20 bago dakpin at tuluyang patayin.

Hindi ko napigilan ang makaramdam ulit ng galit. Nagbalik ang lahat ng alaala na gusto kong takasan sa nakaraan. It kept on haunting me every time I am reading her poem.

“Magbabayad sila, Zenn,” huling sambit ko bago ibalik ang sulat sa kahon.

@phiemharc – C18