ANG SARAP MO CARLA [THE MATAMBOK SERIES] SPG🔞

CHAPTER 18

Nang makita ko si Digby sa hallway ng MCC kinabukasan, hindi ko alam kung ang puso ko ba ay lalakas o tuluyan nang bibigay.

He stood there, talking to a client with his usual Montrose poise—dark slacks, perfectly pressed dress shirt, and that intimidating presence that screamed power. The staff around him looked composed, but I could see it—the tension, the reverence. That was Digby Montrose.

And yet, all I could see was the man crying beside his brother the night before.

The man who whispered a promise to protect me, even when he knew I might never love him back.

I bit my lip.

No. I couldn’t let that get into my head. I had to remain distant. Still. Cold.

He finally turned and saw me—our eyes locked for a fraction of a second.

I looked away first.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang hakbang ang tinahak ko, pero bago pa ako makarating sa opisina niya, biglang nagsalita siya.

“Carla,” tawag niya. Low. Sure. Like he was already expecting me.

Napahinto ako. Nagkatinginan kami. I forced myself to keep my chin up.

“I need a word,” I said, neutral ang tono ko. “Privately.”

Tahimik siyang tumango, sinenyasan ang kanyang executive assistant na ilock ang pinto pagkatapos naming pumasok.

The moment the door closed, all the air seemed to shift. Tumahimik ang buong paligid.

Naglakad ako papasok sa opisina. He followed behind.

“Ano bang kailangan mong sabihin?” tanong niya, calm but unreadable.

Huminga ako nang malalim. “Wala akong panahon sa mga boladas mo ngayon, Digby.”

“I wasn’t offering any,” he said simply, crossing his arms. “You called me in.”

Napalunok ako. I hated that even in stillness, he could fill the whole room.

I turned around to face him fully.

“I just want you to know,” I started, slow and measured, “na kahit anong gawin mo, kahit ilang beses mo pa akong subukan suyuin o takpan ng mga pa-sweet mong kilos—wala akong mararamdaman para sa’yo.”

Tahimik siya. Hindi kumibo. Nanatiling nakatingin lang sa akin, parang hinihintay kung may kasunod pa akong sasabihin.

At siyempre, meron.

“You think dahil pinaghahandaan mo ‘yung dinner, ‘yung flowers, ‘yung silent acts mo sa MCC, ma-o-overlook ko lahat ng nangyari? You think I’ll suddenly forget that this marriage was forced on me?”

“You think I haven’t paid for that every day since?” sagot niya. Mababang boses, pero ramdam ko ang bigat.

Napangiwi ako.

“Hindi mo kailangang umarte na ikaw ang biktima rito, Digby. You got everything you wanted. You got me.”

“But not the part of you I wanted most,” he said quietly. “Not your heart.”

Muntik na akong mapaatras.

Bakit ba kahit kailan, alam niya kung paano ako mabasag?

I clenched my fists. “I didn’t come here para pag-usapan ‘yan.”

“Then why did you come, Carla?” tanong niya, stepping a little closer. “You could’ve sent a memo. You could’ve ignored me like you always do. But you came here. You called me. Why?”

I swallowed. The air around me was hot and sharp.

“Because I needed to remind both of us where we stand,” sagot ko, tinig ko'y halos pabulong. “That what we are… is nothing but a public arrangement. Isang palabas. Wala itong damdamin. Walang lalim. And it will end. Sooner or later.”

He stared at me. Hard. Like he was reading every word I wasn't saying.

“And yet,” he said, “you went to the hospital that day”

I froze.

“What?”

“You visited Von,” he said, “again.”

My heart stopped for a second. “P-paano mo—?”

“I asked the nurse,” sagot niya. “You were there.”

I turned away. My pulse was racing now. I felt seen. Exposed.

“You cried in front of him,” he added softly.

Yeah... akala ko walang nakakaalam na pumunta ako after kong masiguro na wala na siya. I guess I was wrong then.

“Because I love him!” Bigla ko siyang tinulakan—hindi malakas, pero sapat para maramdaman niya ang galit at takot ko. “Because I still love him, Digby!”

Tumingin siya sa akin, pero hindi siya umatras.

“Then bakit ka naroon pa rin nang narinig mo akong kausap siya?” tanong niya.

My breath hitched. Hindi ako agad nakasagot.

Oo. Narinig ko siya. Narinig ko lahat.

And that was my slip.

Napatingin siya sa akin nang diretso. “You heard me.”

“Digby—”

“You heard what I said to him.”

Tahimik ako. Hindi ko na maitago. Hindi ko na maikaila.

“Yes,” I whispered. “I heard everything.”

Tumaas ang dibdib niya sa bigat ng buntong-hininga.

“Then you know,” he said, “that this… whatever this is between us… it wasn’t part of the plan. I didn’t want to fall for you, Carla. Not after what to my brother.”

Napatigil ako.

“But I did.”

Nalaglag ang balikat ko. I looked away. Every part of me was screaming to run, to shut down, to stay safe.

Pero bago ko pa maialis ang tingin ko, nadulas ang isang tanong mula sa labi ko.

“Did you mean it?” tanong ko, halos wala sa sarili. “Yung sinabi mo sa kanya... about protecting me?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “Every damn word.”

Muling nabuo ang luha sa mga mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya papaniwalaan.

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Don’t make this harder.”

“I won’t ask you to love me back,” he said, stepping closer. “But don’t pretend you feel nothing.”

I closed my eyes.

I hated him.

I hated what he did.

I hated how he broke my world.

But what I hated more was that...

I didn’t feel nothing anymore.

And that… terrified me.

Puno ng tension ang hangin nang dumating si Mr. Darious suot ang tailored suit, nakaayos na buhok, at mukha na halos parang pinalamig sa air-con. Pero parehong nakikita ko yung galit sa mga mata niya.

Bukas ang pinto ng opisina ni Digby, at sinabi ng assistant niya, “Mrs. Montrose is inside,” sabay hikab habang nag-oorient. Sakto naman ang pag-alis ni Digby kaya, again, I will face this asungot na naman.

Iniwan ako ni Digby at ewan ko ba kung nagtatago ba siya or wala, kaya dahan-dahan kong nilapitan si Darious habang sinasara niya ang jacket. Hawak niya ang leather folder, parang bayong-luwa ng lahat ng dokumento na nauwi sa delay.

“Mrs. Montrose,” malumanay niyang tinawag, pero ramdam kong siksikan ang salita. “Ang dami ko nang nasayang na oras—at pera.”

“I understand, Mr. Darious,” sagot ko nang seryoso. “But you also know—this is Digby’s absence. I’m working on getting the board’s approval for alternative leadership, but…”

“Alternative? Or excuses?” bahagyang pabulong niyang tanong. Napakita ang frustrations niya na matagal niyang itinago.

“Excuse?” umiling ako. “Paano kung sabihin ko na gagawin ko na lahat?”

Tinitigan niya ako nang matagal.

“Not enough,” sagad niyang sabi. “I’m talking about weeks of delay, tens of thousands of pesos in manpower upgrades, re-scheduling site engineering—and more!”

Sumandal ako sa desk na nasa gilid ng opisina niya. Ramdam ko ang bigat ng bingit ng pagbagsak. Pero sige, kailangan kong manindigan.

“Okay. So… compensation?” Bungad ko. Tingin ko diretso sa kanya.

Biglang tumingin siya sa akin, malalim. “Oo. Compensation—para sa delay, but not at the expense of MCC getting away unscathed.”

“In other words?” sabik ko nang sumagot.

“Per day na hindi mo siya nakikita dito…” sabi niya, tumayo at lumapit, ramdam ko ang ppt chairs na umuga sa lakas ng paghakbang niya, “two-percent penalty per million-kalahatang budget of the project.”

Halos kumulo ang dugo ko sa ulo. Pero hindi ako nagpatalo.

“Two percent?” ulit kong hiniling. “Per day?”

Tumango siya. “At dagdag pa rito: redraw ng timeline, add-ons sa insurance coverage, site inspectors, at bagong clause na kung mahuli muli, may interest rate na dagdag.”

“Gusto mo ba ng buong breakdown?” balik ko, malamig na tono. “Here’s the thing, Mr. Darious—kailangan kong dalhin ‘to sa board. I need them to approve, and you know they’re loyal to Digby.”

Kumunot siya. “So you still need mouthpieces for a man who’s too busy running away?”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “Hindi ako si Digby,” pahabol ko. “But I’ve been delegated authority. And guess what—it’s the face you see now.”

Tumango siya, halos matigas ang bibig sa pagtitiis.

“Fine,” sabi niya. “You have until end of week to submit revised contract and compensation schedule. If I don’t see it, I’m pulling out. Entirely. And I don’t think MCC needs the embarrassment.”

Board and Digby both. Value of Montrose brand.

Napansin kong lumiliit ang chest ko. Ramdam ko yung pressure.

“I’ll deliver,” sagot ko nang may bigat. Pero bago siya umalis, umusad ang kamay niya at inilabas ang folder.

“And one more thing,” dagdag niya, “I want formal letter of apology—from the CEO himself. Not you.”

Napangiti ako ng mapait. “Noted.”

Minutes later pumasok si Digby. Ang unang ginagawa niya: lumapit sa akin.

“Mr. Darious just left,” mahina niyang sabi.

“Yep.” Inilapag ko ang folder sa desk niya—printed revised contract, timeline, cushion fee schedule, apology letter. “Here.”

Sinilip niya. Pinagmasdan lahat karamihan sa kalkulasyon.

Pinagtagpi-tagpi ko at mabigat kunwari.

“So, all he wants is compensation for all the delays?” tanong niya sa dulo habang itinutok ang tingin sa akin.

“Yes.” sabi ko, tumayo. “ So, either ayusin mo bigla ang sarili mo, or let me handle this without the constant hiding.”

Titig siya sa akin nang may matinding babae.

Sa isang iglap, lumapit siya, hinawakan ang braso ko.

Teasing ngunit seryoso. “Alright... let mw handle this from now, okay?” mahinang pahayag niya.

Ngunit tumayo ako nang matatag, lumingon. “You better, Digby dahil pagod na akong harapin ang asungot na 'yon”

“And... just to remind you na I'm not hiding away from Darious, okay? I have plans... for him,” Ngumisi.