Reckless

Chapter 15

Some part in my heart broke just seeing him like this.

Kinuha niya ang bra ko at tinulungan na ibalik 'yon. He kissed me on my forehead and left me in the room.

"Gio..." I said. I'm currently at the balcony of my. room.

Nakatingin ako sa magandang tanawin ng dagat.

"Where are you Katherine?" He said in a unusual tone.

"H-Huh? Why?"

"Tell me." Oh my God.

I don't want to tell him where I am. He might surprise visit me and when he find out na wala ako sa hotels at resort maghihinala 'yon.

"P-Pan Olarte..." I lied.

"Liar. I found someone who knows you here... and she told me you're with a guy named Louis. Who the hell is Louis, Kath?"

Oh my God! I don't know what to do. Sasagot pa sana ako pero nawalan ng signal. Oh s**t. He won't stop finding me, I'm sure of it. I thought he's out of country?

I must tell Louis about this. He can't find me!

"Louis!" I shouted when I saw him standing at the shore.

Nilingon niya ako, lumapit ako sa kanya ng hinihingal.

"What is it?"

"Gio... Gio's finding me... may nakausap daw siya na kaibigan ko and told him I'm with a guy who's name is Louis. I don't know what to do."

Naiiyak kong sabi. I really don't know what to do. Madaming kakilala si Gio kahit saang parte ng lugar. Nakita ko ang pagkagulat ni Louis.

He told me he made sure that no one will know that I'm here. That I'm with him.

"Shh... why don't you just tell him? If he really loves you he would accept your past."

"But I lied to him! I lied to him for years and pag nalaman niya yun... he will break up with me." Napaupo ako sa buhangin ay yumuko.

I hugged my knees and cried. Umupo sa tabi ko si Louis.

"If he do that then he's a jerk. Kung ako yon I don't care if you're lying or whatever you're doing as long as you're coming home with me."

"But you're not him,"

Tinignan ko siya. Iniwas niya ang tingin niya pero nakita ko ang pag patak ng luha sa kanyang mata.

Louis is crying... because of me.

"As long as we see each other, I always hurt you even I don't want to..." Sabi ko.

"I don't care. I don't care if you hurt me or being the substitute of Gio, I don't care really." He said.

"That's why I don't deserve you, Louis. You deserve better than someone like me..." Iyak ko. I love him.

I won't deny it anymore. I really love him at mas mahal ko siya kay Gio. There's just anger inside of me so I'm pushing him away so things will go as planned.

I don't want to hurt Gio too. No matter what I do... I always hurt the people I love.

"I'm going home later..." Sabi ko.

"What? No! I thought you're staying with us for two months?"

"We can't get caught, Louis. I'll be back again next year...." Tumayo ako.

I'm going to pack my things and inform lola about this. Louis hold my wrist and looked at me with his eyes begging. It hurts me to see him like this, but I don't want to make things worst.

"I'm sorry, Louis.”

"If you leave... don't ever come back." He said.

Tumakbo ako papasok ng bahay. Tuloy tuloy ang agos ng luha ko. I won't... I won't come back. Louis didn't follow me out.

I stopped at the garden and sat on the bench. I can't do it. Whenever I close my eyes, I see Brion's happy face. If I leave again, especially without saying goodbye, he might get angry at me.

Ayoko nun.

"Mommy?" I wiped my tears and looked at the little boy who called me.

Why is he here?

"Brion, baby, why are you here? Where's Ate Selya?"

"I don't know mommy. I heard you and daddy fight." I got closer to him and hugged him.

I don't want to leave him. I don't want to go back to Manila. I just want to be with him.

"I'm sorry. Did we wake you up?"

"Yes, but it's okay mommy. You're leaving?"

Why does he talk like a big boy? I wiped my tears. Kinalas ko ang yakap ko sakanya at tinignan siya.

"I have to, but I don't want to," "Then don't, mommy. What you want is more important." I smiled.

"Wag mo na po ako iwan ulit...." I saw tears pooling on his eyes.

Oh no... I know I said that I need to leave, but how can I when my own child is begging me to stay?

"Let's go inside, okay?" I said.

He nodded and followed my lead. Nung pumasok kami ay sumalubong sa'min si Louis.

Yung muka niya ay parang nagaalala. Tumingin muna siya sa'kin bago bumaba ang tingin niya kay Brion.

"Why did you go outside alone? Nagusap na tayo about dito, Brion," Louis said.

Yumuko si Brion at nagtago sa likod ko. Louis looked at me.

"I'm sorry daddy. I was following mommy."

Hinawakan ko si Brion at binuhat. I move some of his hair away from his face.

"It's fine, Love. Don't do that again, okay?" I said.

"Ayos lang, Louis. Ako naman ang sinusundan niya."

Hindi niya ako pinansin. I think he's mad at me. I didn't hesitate to leave when he's the one begging.

I know and I'm guilty. I'll accept the way he treats me.

"Let's put you on sleep," Louis said.

Inagaw niya sa kamay ko si Brion. Hindi na umangal si Brion at lumipat sa daddy niya.

"Goodnight." I said and kissed Brion before they walk towards his room.

I sighed and carried my things up. Ang bigat naman nito. Parang ang dali lang ibaba kanina pero ngayon ang hirap itaas. I carried it again, pero nagulat ako dahil gumaan ito. I looked up and it's Louis.