Reckless

Chapter 14

"Mommy, daddy can we play outside?" Sabi ni Brion at hinila ang dalawa naming damit.

Of course," Louis said and carried him.

Lumabas sila kaya sumunod ako. I'm here to bond with my son and this is what he wants. So be it. I just couldn't avoid any interactions with Louis.

I don't want Brion to know that we're not in good terms or we're not together anymore. Maybe when he gets a bit older, I could explain it to him slowly. Just not now.

I want him to enjoy his childhood and also not be bothered by me and Louis.

"Catch me!" Sabi ni Brion at tumakbo papunta sa dagat banda. "Brion!" Sigaw ko. Delekado doon!

Tumawa si Louis at kalmado lang na naglalakad sa likod ko. I ran towards Brion and hold him dahil baka dumeretso siya sa dagat.

"Don't worry I taught him how to swim,"

"I don't care! Dagat 'to hindi swimming pool!" Inis kong sabi.

Tumakbo nanaman si Brion at paikot ikot siya. Sumunod ako at natawa nalang sa kanya, Nakakahawa yung tawa niya. Sumama samin si Louis at naghabulan kaming tatlo.

This is what I dreamt of. The three of us in a beach having fun together. I would be so much happy if things with me and Louis didn't end up like this. But everything has a reason.

What happened, happened. It's not like I could do anything about it. We went inside when we noticed that it's getting dark. It's cold outside too and Brion's not wearing a jacket.

"Bubbles oh," I said and smiled.

I'm currently helping him to take a bath. He's on a small tub with bubble soap in it. Nilalaro niya 'yon.

"Kathe-" Natigil siya.

I looked back and saw Louis almost exhausted na parang tumakbo siya ng ilang milya.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I thought you left..." Natahimik ako.

"Enough na Brion ah? Let's clean you up." I said and pour a small amount of water to clean him.

I want to be young again, no problems, No hassle. Pinatuyo ko siya at kinuha siya ni Brion.

"I'll dress him up." He said.

Tumango ako at pinanood siyang bihisan si Brion. Brion's fashion is like his father, malamang si Louis ang mga bumili niyan at siya rin ang nag s-style sa kanya.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go overboard. Alam kong ayaw mo pagusapan 'yon."

The first time I came back since nung nangyari nagkausap kami ni Louis non. He didn't find me dahil palipat lipat ako until I met Gio. Sa bahay na ulit ako tumira at laging bumibisita si Gio. Wala na din akong balita noon kay Louis.

It just shows that he gave up and I won't force anything.

-Flashback-

Lumabas si Louis mula sa pintuan at nagtama ang mata namin. I didn't say anything. I just want to see Brion.

"Brion's sleeping," Tita said.

I went to the room they made for me, Ang sabi ni lola siya raw ang nagpaayos nito just in case.

"Katherine..." Halos pabulong na tawag ni Louis. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Hindi na siya nahiya kausapin ako.

He f****d a girl... right in front of me. He didn't stop kahit na nakita niya na 'ko.

"You're an asshole. Don't talk to me."

"I-I'm sorry... Lola told me what happened and why you left,"

"And? That's it. Ano naman ngayon? Past is past."

"You should've told me. You don't know how much I want to make you pregnant just to assure you won't leave me."

That's not the point here. He knows what is what and it annoys me every time!

"Yaya, pakikuha nga muna si Brion." Utos ni Louis kay yaya selya, Umirap ako at umupo sa kama ni Brion.

Ano nanaman ba gusto niyang pagusapan? Ayoko na ng ganito. He should respect that I have someone whom I love, but all he does is confuse me.

"Can we talk?"

"We're talking." He sighed and faced me.

I can leave this room right now but I won't, this is the last time I'll ever entertain his speech or whatever you call it.

"I'm really sorry, I do. I was hurt-"

"Can you please stop?" Inis kong sabi.

Galit akong tumayo at tinignan siya. He apologized that he bring out that conversation and now he's doing it again.

"Ayoko ngang pag usapan! Ano bang mahirap intindihin don, Louis? Can you at least respect me as someone who has a boyfriend already? All you do is to confuse me." I burst out.

"That's it Catherine! You're someone who has a boyfriend and who has a child with me! If you really love him you won't be confused...."

Lumapit siya sa'kin at hinawakan ang dalawa kong kamay. Inis kong tinaggal 'yon.

So he's indirectly saying me that I'm a slut? A flirt?

"You're thinking I'm a slut? A flirt?" Seryoso kong sabi.

"No... no... you misinterpret baby," he said in a calm tone.

I'm just too angry to be calm right now. This is why I don't want to talk about everything in the past, but he keeps on bringing it up every year when we spend time together with our child.

"Quit calling me baby. Hindi na tayo magkarelasyon, okay?"

Natahimik siya. "But I love you..." he said in a low tone, almost a whisper.

"I don't."

Unti unti siyang lumapit sa'kin. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. Hindi ako makapalag kahit gusto ko man ayaw gumalaw ng katawan ko.

I felt his soft lips and I closed my eyes. Dapat ay pigilan ko siya, pero bakit hindi ako makagalaw?

Why does my body feel so weak? His hands traveled down to my chest. Nakadamit pa ko pero ramdam ko na ang init ng kamay niya. I then released a soft moan. Oh my gosh.

"I miss you baby... so much." he said and kissed me again, bit this time deeper.

He lay me down in bed and corner me with his both hands. He's giving me so much pleasure.

If he don't stop on his own I'm afraid I won't stop him too. He quickly unclapsed my bra, naramdaman ko ng buo ang mainit niyang kamay.

He stopped and looked at me. "I-I'm sorry," he said with so much sadness in his eyes.