Reckless

Chapter 55

Nagising ako at maliwanag na sa labas. Oh God. I forgot my cellphone upstairs. Hindi tumunog ang alarm ko!

Tumayo kaagad ako at tumakbo papuntang kwarto ko. I still feel a bit dizzy, but I need to move as fast as I can.

Hindi naman sa bawal ako ma-late, I'm the CEO for god's sake pero kasi sobrang dami ko pang gagawin.

"Looking for this?"

I stopped and looked up to a guy who stopped me. He didn't leave last night. Why? He can just leave and go back to tell me what he wants.

Kinuha ko ang phone mula sakanya. There are miscalls from Gio.

"It's been ringing non stop for almost thirty minutes now."

Tinignan ko ang mga messages ni Gio at nagaalala nga siya sa'kin. The last message he sent is that he will go to my house. Wait... Go to my house?!

"You should go."

"What? Why? I still have something to tell you. I came here first."

Fuck. I can't convince him like this.

"Fine. Just stay in my room. You can't come out until I tell you too." I saw him pouted.

Nagpalit muna ako ng damit at inayos na kaunti ang buhok ko. The telephone's ringing. Probably the guard outside.

"Hello ma'am? May bisita po kayo. Gio Ramos daw po."

"L-Let him in kuya." Sabi ko at binaba ang telepono.

Hindi basta basta nakakapasok ang mga tao sa bahay. Louis has a permission though. Kilala na din siya ng guard. Binigyan ko siya ng access so that he could see Brion anytime he wants too. Hindi niya na ako kailangan sabihan and we won't talk to each other.

Tinignan ko ng matalim si Louis bago ako lumabas para maramdaman niya na seryoso ako sa sinasabi ko. This guy is stubborn. If he wants to do something, he won't listen to anyone not even to me before. Kaya yun ang pinagaawayan namin even though he was kind and faithful to me.

"I won't go outside. Chill." He said.

Bumaba na ako at saktong bumukas ang pintuan. Gio looked up at me.

"What happened? Hindi mo sinasagot ang mga tawag ko. Akala ko ay may nangyari na sa'yo." He said as we walk closer to me.

"I slept too much, maybe sa nainom kagabi. Na-low bat ang cellphone ko at hindi nag alarm.

Wala din alarm clock si Brion sa kanyang kwarto obviously. Hindi ko rin naisip 'yun. He sighed. I heard how he released a deep breathe.

"I'm sorry for worrying you,"

"It wasn't your fault. I'm just making sure that what happened before won't happen to you anymore." Sabi niya.

I insisted that he should take a breakfast here. Dumb me. Nasa taas si Louis at for sure wala pa din kain 'yun. Lumapit ako kay ate Reah bago sumabay kay Gion sa dining area.

"Ate, pwede mo bang dalhan si Louis ng pagkain sa kwarto ko?" sabi ko.

"Sige po." Sabi niya at dumeretso ng kusina. Hindi siya umaangal or nakikiusisa dahil kapag naman ready ako mag kwento ay nagsasabi ako sakanya.

"Let's eat?" Sabi ko at sinimulan na ang pagkain dahil hindi pa din siya gumagalaw sa kinauupuan niya.

"I found a psychiatrist for you. Do you mind if we visit her later?"

Oh, right.

"Yeah, sure."

I can't believe I'm having myself checked by a psychologist.

"Am I not forcing you--"

"No, no. Of course not. I really need it also. Ayokong maghirap ng sobrang tagal dahil sa nangyari."

I'm sure the psychiatrist will help me at least control what I feel or what to do whenever something triggers me just like what happened last night.

Nag-usap nalang kami ni Gio sa work. That's what we talk about the most since we're both pretty workaholics. Pagkatapos ay nag aya na ako umalis. Umakyat muna ako para maligo at magbihis.

Pagbukas ko ng pintuan ay mahimbing na natutulog si Louis sa kama ko.

"You guys done?"

I almost jumped out of shock. I thought he was sleeping and his voice is really deep.

"Yes. And I have to get ready to go to work."

"Work? You sure you can handle it? You should rest for a week." Sabi nito habang nakapikit pa din ang mga mata.

"Yes. Kahapon pumasok ako ng umaga. I can't just leave my paper works. I'm not even injured." Sabi ko.

Tama naman, ha? I'm clearly fine. I didn't broke some of my bones. The only wound I got is in my arm and it does hurt sometimes, but bearable.

Minulat niya ang mga mata niya at tinignan ako.

"Please don’t force yourself,”

Am I… forcing myself?

Yes I am. Alam na alam ni Louis kung paano ako mag-isip. I’m forcing myself to do work to forget. But what can I do? Alangan naman tumunganga ako dito sa bahay.

“I have to. If I don’t I might go crazy.” Sabi ko.

Why is he even here being concerned and all this s**t? His girlfriend doesn’t know clearly after the phone call last night.

Hindi ko alam kung nakita niya na sinagot ko ‘yun, but Louis doesn’t check his call log before. I don’t know if he does right now, obviously.

“I’m here whenever you need to talk someone,” Sabi nito na parang alam niyang wala akong ibang pinagsasabihan.

“Alam ko Louis, pero ayaw ko sanayin ang sarili ko. We’re not together. You won’t always be there in the future.” Sabi ko.

Tama naman. Pag nasanay ba ako, paninindigan niya? He would help me until he dies? That’s not how it works. Kapag tumagal na, sigurado ako ay magkakaroon din siya ng sarili niyang pamilya.

That’s if he’s really serious with his girlfriend which I think he is dahil knowing Louis, hindi siya basta basta nagkakagirlfriend and when he does, he’s really serious with her.

I don’t know if he has a marriage in mind though.

“I will be here. No matter what happens.”

“Can you stop?” Sabi ko at medyo tumaas na ang boses ko. He’s shocked on the way I reacted. Even I.

Hindi ko rin inexpect na yun ang makakapag trigger ng matagal ko na kinikimkim at tinitiis itago.

“Stop acting like you would do anything to take care of me. You already have a girlfriend for God’s sake. Alam niya ba na nandito ka?”