Reckless

Chapter 46

Hindi ako nagpatinag. I can’t think of anything right now, but to kiss and hug him.

“I have a girlfriend.”

Tinignan ko siya. I’m shocked. I didn’t know he has one? Hindi ako makapaniwala. Why is here? Why does he spend so much time with us when he has a girlfriend?

What the f**k?

I feel like my whole body froze and I couldn’t think of anything. I’m lost. Hindi ko inexpect ‘yon. He has a lot of time with me and Brion, akala ko ang kumpanya lang ang kumpetensya namin sa atensyon niya.

“I-I’m--I’ll sleep now.” Sabi ko at tumayo.

I tripped when I stood up, but then he hold me in my arms and caught me. Pumiglas ako at umalis na doon. God. I can’’t believe it.

Tumakbo na ako paakyat at pumasok ng kwarto. Agad ko naman sinara ang pintuan para hindi siya makapasok kung babalakin niya man.

I lay down in bed and slapped myself in the face. God, I hate Why is he showing signs though? Akala ko ay mahal niya pa ako.

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep, but whatever. It’s not like I can do something about it.

Kailangan ko pilitin matulog dahil papasok pa ako ng opisina bukas. Gio wouldn’t let me, but what can I do here? Lay down and remember everything that has happened to me?

Hell no. I’d rather go to office. Ok lang kung tanungin nila ako lahat about sa nangyari. I want my mind to be occupied with a lot of things.

I closed my eyes.

The next thing I heard was bird chirping outside. God. I didn’t sleep at all. I don’t know if I can stay at the office until my time, but I’ll try.

I stood up and fixed myself. I went to bathroom and fixed myself to go to work. Pagkatapos ko ay bumaba ako at pumasok sa kwarto ni Brion.

He’s awake and ate Reah is holding him. Tinignan ako ni ate Reah at inabot sa’kin si Brion. I smiled and carried him.

”Kanina pa siya gising, Ate Reah?” Tanong ko.

“Hindi naman, halos kakagising niya lang din. Mag almusal kana, Katherine.” Sabi niya.

I nodded and walk towards the dinning area. Panigurado gutom na din si Brion.

”Are you hungry?” Tanong ko.

He nodded and yawned. Such a cutie. I know I said that I couldn’t get myself to smile in front of him.

"Does that hurt, Mama?" Tinignan ko ang tinuro niya. Oh shoot, I forgot to wear a jacket to cover my wound.

"No, no, Mama accidentally bump into a sharp object." I said. He nodded and looked at ate Reah.

Sinenyasan ko siya na kunin niya sa'kin si Brion. Kailangan ko ng jacket para takpan ito. Ayoko mag mukang kawawa pag papasok ng office. I'm sure a lot of my employees will look at me and see if I was wounded.

I don't want any rumors to spread anymore. Gusto kk na makita nila na ayos lang ako para naman manahimik na sila. Pagkakuha ko ng jacket ay bumaba na din ako para samahan kumain si Brion.

"Ate Reah, pwede bang dalhin mo muna si Brion sa lola niya?" I just think it would be better that way, for now. Ayoko siya idamay. I feel anxious and sad most of the time.

"You're leaving again, Mama?"

"Unfortunately yes, but Mama will be gone for only a week. Magkikita din tayo ulit." Sabi ko.

"But I'll miss you..." sabi niya. I forced a smile. I don't know... I don't think I can handle taking care of him and recovering at the same time.

Alam ko na nandyan si Ate Reah, pero iba pa din pag kadugo niya ang nagaalaga sakanya. Lola texted me too, asking me if I was alright and she can't visit me since she doesn't feel well. I think she needs Brion to cheer her up.

Gustong gusto talaga ni lola na makasama si Brion. Hindi ko din naman pinagdadamot 'yon.

She's getting old and I know she wants to spend her time with her grandson.

"Lola misses you too... she's not feeling good these days. Maybe you could cheer her up?"

"I can do that.... but how about you, Mama?" "What about me, Honey?" Tinignan ko siya. Inabot niya ang pisnge ko at hinaplos 'yon.

"You don't look happy... Brion wants to make you happy..." I looked away.

Those words are already making me tear up. His cute little concern voice with those words.

"I'm fine, Honey. Mama just feel a little tired. Don't worry about me, okay?" I forced a smile.

He just look at me like he doesn't believe me. I sighed and let him be. I can't convince him that I'm fine.

"I need to go now. I'll go get you at your Lola's once I'm back, okay?" He nodded and let ate Reah feed him while he looks at me. I wave goodbye as I walk to the door.

Nung sinara ko ang pinto ay nakahinga ako ng malalim. It's tiring to pretend that you're okay. I understand now how mom felt before.

Alam kong hindi siya okay noon at kahit sabihin ko naman na she doesn't have to pretend to be okay when she's with me, hindi pa din niya gagawin.

Kaya nga lagi ako maaga umaalis sa kwarto niya 'cause I know she's holding back. Pretending to be okay and laughing at every jokes. I wipe my tears. I miss my mom.

Kung nandito lang sana siya, she'll know what best I can do to myself and to my son. I'm too young to be a mom. I don't know how to be a good mom to Brion.

How can I? Minsan mas napagtutuunan ko pa ng pansin ang kumpanya. I can never fail the people that trust our company though, I can't fail to be Brion's mom too.

I’m on my way to the office and I can see a lot of people in front of the building, holding cameras and microphones.