Always You, Luca

Chapter 9

L U C A

Are these enough for us? Rex showed us a case full of beer. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Kung pwede lang itong kuminang, nangyari na. This is the moment Ive waited for. Ang makainuman siya at makasama siya sa isang bagay na lubos kong nae-enjoy.

Thats more than enough. Ang sagot sa kanya ni Zig. Narito kasi kaming tatlo sa may sala. It is 7pm and we just finished eating dinner. Hindi rin naman ako umiinom. And Luca wont drink much too. Napatingin ako kay Zig nang banggitin niya ang pangalan ko. Kinunutan ko ito ng noo. What is he saying?

Sinasabi mo dyan, Zig? nginisian ko siya at humarap kay Rex. Kahit lang case pa yan, basta sagot mo, game na game ako. Ngumiti ako and Rex smiled at me too.

Kung ganon pala, e di simulan na natin ang inuman! he excitedly said and put down the case of beer. Inilagay na rin niya sa lamesang nasa gitna ang mga pulutan at ang mga ice cubes. Pati ang baso namin ay naka-prepara na rin sa ibabaw non.

Rex sat beside me on the couch. Were facing Zig. Nakaupo rin ito sa couch at sa itsura nito, mukhang hindi ito natutuwa sa ganap namin ngayong gabi. Hes been acting so grumpy since we got here at Rexs place. Alam kong hindi niya gustong manatili rito but can he just hide that? Its showing on his face.

Hindi ko nalang pinansin si Zig at kumuha nalang ng beer at yelo na inilagay ko sa aking baso. Isinalin ko iyon roon hanggang mapuno.

Ill take the first drink, I said before drinking it. Nangalahati ito. Dama ko ang sarap sa pakiramdam nito sa aking bibig at lalamunan. Get your own. Baka maubos ko to, sige kayo. Tinawanan ko ang sarili kong banat. Rex is smiling while hes staring at me. He then opened his own beer. And Zig? Napipilitan itong kumuha ng kanya at binuksan rin iyon.

Since no one is talking, I took the chance to ask Rex some questions.

So, Rex! When did you learn how to ride a horse? Ang galing mo kanina, ha. I asked him. Kanina kasi ay tinuruan niya ako kung paano sumakay ng kabayo. We had a lot of fun. Hindi ko tuloy makalimutan kung paano ko sinasadyang mahulog roon sa kabayo para lang saluhin niya ako.Nakakakilig pa rin hanggang ngayon.

He put down his beer on the table. Bata pa lang ako, tinuruan na kami ni Papa. He answered. Kaya mula noon, tuwing pumupunta kami roon sa farm, sumasakay ako ng kabayo. It was fun. It is something that you can pass on to someone. Just like what I did to you, earlier. Binigyan niya ako ng isang matamis na ngiti matapos sabihin iyon na nakapagpangiti sa akin nang malaki dulot ng matinding kilig.

Biglang umubo si Zig na kaharap namin ngayon. Tila nasamid ito sa iniinom niyang beer. Ang pait, grabe! sabi nito at ibinaba ang boteng hawak niya bago punasan ang bibig nito.

Tiningnan ko ito nang kunot ang noo. Okay ka lang ba? Hindi ka naman gaanong sanay sa beer kaya huwag mo nang pilitin ang sarili mo. Ang payo ko kay Zig. Tiningnan ako nito na nakakunot rin ang noo.

“Talaga ba, Luca? But I can clearly remember how you were forcing me to drink beer with you every single night we spent in Drunkin Doorman. Nginisian ako ni Zig na tila may halong pang-aasar. Ngayon, ayaw mo na akong piliting uminom. Why is that? he added and smirked before getting his beer from the table.

Ininom nito ang beer niya habang nakangisi sa akin. Is he trying to get on my nerves?

Really? You were forcing Zig to drink with you? Rex smiled. Hes obviously not a drinker but its cute that you can force him to drink beer. Natawa ito at tumingin sa akin.

“Anong cute doon? I glared at Zig while saying those words. Nakangisi ito sa akin. Nagmukha tuloy akong mapilit na kaibigan sa harap ni Rex. Wala lang talaga akong kasamang uminom madalas, I wont force you if I have any. Besides, hindi naman pamimilit ang tawag don. Gusto ko lang sabayan mo kong uminom kahit hindi kasing-dami ng sa akin. Paliwanag ko and looked at Rex. I dont know why Im explaining, anyway.

Well, youre not going to drink alone, anymore. You have me now. We can be beer buddies. Rex pinched my cheek. Hindi ako nakapagsalita nang ilang segundo when he did that. I dont know what to say but I cant stop myself from smiling. If Zig isnt up for buckets and buckets of beer, then Ill finish those with you dagdag pa niya, Hindi naman siya lasing pero bakit ganito? Hindi ko maiwasang kiligin sa mga salitang sinabi niya. His words struck me.

"Hindi mo kailangang gawin 'yon, Rex." Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagngiti habang nakatingin sa kanya. "Kahit hindi mo 'ko sabayan sa pag-ubos ng ilang buckets ng beer, sapat na 'yong kasama kita kapag ginawa ko iyon." Lalong lumaki ang ngiti ko nang makita siyang mapangiti sa hirit kong 'yon.

I can really feel the kilig inside my bones.

They way he looked at me. The way he smiled. They way we're exchanging words. Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam. It feels like, we're on the same feeling. Pakiramdam ko ay katulad ko, gusto niya rin ako. Kahit ang ambisyoso no'n pakinggan.

"Tama. Kasi kung sasabayan mo si Luca, you'll never win. Sa lakas n'yan uminom ng beer, tulog na ang lahat dahil sa kalasingan and he'll still be drinking." Napatingin ako kay Zig nang sabihin niya iyon. Napawi ang ngiti sa aking mukha.

Rex laughed.

Pakiramdam ko ay napahiya ako sa sinabi niya.

"Grabe ka naman, Zig. Talaga ba?" inirapan ko ito habang tinitingnan siyang ubusin ang unang bote niya ng beer. "Hindi naman ako gano'n ka-grabe pagdating sa alak. May limit rin naman ako. Alam ko kapag sumo-sobra na ang in-take ko at alam ko rin kapag hindi." I explained and looked at Rex.

"That's okay." He said. "All you need is someone that can keep up with your hobby and if you like drinking, wala namang masama roon. Cute ka pa rin naman." Then, he pinched my cheek once again. Nagulat ako sa kanyang ginawa at sa banat niyang iyon. Hindi ako nakapagsalita for a second.

"I remember something..." Zig said. Kumuha ito ng panibagong bote ng beer mula sa case na nasa ibaba. Nagulat ako dahil kadalasan ay pinipilit ko pa siyang pumangalawa ngunit ngayon ay nagkukusa na siya. What came in to his mind now? "Luca was a naughty student when we were in high school. Noon pa man, he was so into drinking. Kaya nga palagi siyang napapagalitan ng teacher namin." Zig laughed after saying that.

Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mga mata. "Hoy, Zig! Huwag mo na ngang i-bring-up 'yang mga kwento tungkol sa high school life natin. It's not that interesting, anyway." I told him.

Pero ang totoo, ayoko lang mapahiya kay Rex. Alam naming pareho ni Zig kung gaano ako ka-pasaway noong high school. And if Zig tell stories about it, siguradong nakaka-turn off 'yon.

Not today, Zig.

"Why not?" napatingin ako kay Rex when he said that. Why not what? "I mean, I want to hear more about Luca when you were in high school. For me, it'll be interesting to hear it from your best friend." Rex said while looking at me. Napalunok ako at napatingin kay Zig. He was slightly grinning.

Wala na akong nagawa.

Zig put down his bottle on the table. "There was this one time, we had a 7 am class. He went to class obviously drunk and it was showing on his face. Then our teacher asked him what was the answer to the question. You know what he said?" naghalo ang pangisi at pagtawa ni Zig habang nakatingin sa akin. Kunot-noo ko siyang tinitingnan habang sinusubukang senyasan siyang huwag na ituloy ang kwento niyang iyon. "He answered the teacher 'hindi pa ako lasing' and everyone, including our teacher laughed. Pagkatapos no'n, ako na mismo ang nagdala sa kanya sa clinic para makapagpahinga siya." Napailing ako after hearing that story from Zig.

Rex seems to be enjoying it. Nakatawa ito at tumingin sa akin. "That was funny!" he told me. "But that was cute...you were cute with that answer." Then Rex laughed once again before drinking his beer.

"Wala namang cute roon. I was drunk, okay? Ayoko lang talagang umabsent kaya pumasok pa rin ako ng araw na 'yon." I told Rex and looked at Zig. Natatawa itong uminom ng kanyang beer. Napainom na rin ako ng sa akin.

Just when I thought na wala na 'yong kasunod pa, nagkamali ako. Zig opened another embarrassing story about me again and again.

Hanggang sa hindi ko na napigilang patigilin siya sa pagku-kwento.

"You know what, Zig? Uminom ka nalang ng marami. Baka sakaling matuwa pa ako sa 'yo." Inirapan ko ito matapos sabihin iyon. Rex is laughing as much as Zig after Zig told some embarrassing drunk stories about me.

"Seems like Zig was saving your ass from all those troubles you made back then, Luca." Rex smilingly said. Nakangiti ako nitong tiningnan and glance at Zig.

"Sinabi mo pa!" ang sagot sa kanya ni Zig. Tinaasan ko ito ng kilay. Zig opened another bottle of beer. Nagulat ako nang makita na naka-apat na bote na siya mula kanina. This is his fifth bottle. He seems drunk. I can see it. Hindi ko rin namalayan na nakaka-dalawa pa lang ako. "Kung hindi lang mahalaga sa akin 'yang lalake na 'yan, baka hinayaan ko na siya sa mga kalokohan niya. But I care for him and he needs me." Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabing iyon ni Zig. Yeah, he's obviously drunk now.

"Sweet." Rex said and he looked at me. "Now, madadagdagan na ang mga taong mag-aalala sa 'yo kasi nandito na ako." When Rex said that with his eyes looking straight in my eyes, napalunok ako. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko pabalik sa kanya.

I mean, he's obviously making me feel something. As much as I don't want to assume things here, malakas rin ang pakiramdam ko na katulad ko, may gusto rin siya sa akin.

I smiled at him.

"This is too good!" napatingin kaming pareho kay Zig. Nagulat ako matapos niyang ibaba ang boteng hawak niya sa ibabaw ng lamesa. He drank the beer he just opened a minute ago and he didn't left a single drop. "We should do this more often, Luca." That's what he said and opened another one.

"You're drunk, Zig." I told him. Nag-aalala ako para sa kanya dahil hindi naman siya madalas na ganito. What's with him now? "I know, I told you earlier to drink a lot but this is just too much for you." Hindi ko maiwasang mag-alala para sa kanya.

"I'm good. Nakikita ko pa kayong dalawa. You are sitting right next to each other. I can still see the way both of your smile to each." He then smile and drank his beer again. It's as if he really wants to get even more drunk.

I was about to go and get the bottle away from him but Rex stopped me from standing.

"He is just having a good time. He'll be fine with that drink." Ngumiti si Rex at hindi ko na itinuloy ang aking pagtayo. Tiningnan ko nalang si Zig habang tinutungga ang bote na hawak niya.

Hindi naman kasi siya ganito, eh. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa kukote nito para biglain ang sarili niya at maglasing. I know, I kinda pressured him a lot of times to drink beer and keep up with me pero ngayon, hindi ko gusto ang nakikita ko.

"Okay, that's enough." Hindi ko na napigilang tumayo. I looked at Rex. "Aakayin ko lang siya papunta sa kwarto. I know, hindi niya kayang uminom pa. He's just forcing himself." I told him and went to Zig.

Tumango si Rex sa akin. "Do you need help? I'll carry him with you." Alok niya but I refused.

"Kaya ko na. Thank you." I answered him at inakay na si Zig patayo sa couch na kinauupuan nito. "Wait for me here. I'll be back." Nginitian ko si Rex at gano'n rin ito sa akin.

"I'm still not drunk, Luca..."

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Ang kanan niyang braso ay naka-akbay sa balikat ko. Ang kaliwa ko namang kamay ay inaalalayan ang likod at bewang niya. Malaki siyang tao kaya medyo nahirapan akong akayin siya.

We finally reached our room.

"You are so drunk, Zig. What happened to you?" I asked. Alam kong wala akong matinong makukuhang sagot dahil lasing siya. Hindi ko lang mapigilang mainis. "Look at yourself. Hindi ka naman ganito. Ako 'yong madalas mong akayin kapag lasing ako and now, you're the one I'm carrying. Ano bang pumasok sa isip mo at ininom mo nang todo ang anim na bote ng beer na 'yon?" inihiga ko siya sa kama. His shirt is sweaty. Hinubad ko iyon. I wiped his sweat all over his chest and face.

Nakapikit ito.

Namumula ang kanyang mukha dulot ng kalasingan. I also removed his shoes. Basang-basa ng pawis ang kanyang shirt na ipinunas ko sa kanya. Even his face is a little sweaty.

"Luca..." he said while his eyes are close.

"What?" I asked, naiinis ako sa kanya. Hindi ko kasi gustong nakikita siyang ganito. Bukod sa nakakapanibago at hindi ako sanay, hindi bagay sa kanya. I don't want to see him like this, drunk and wasted.

"A-are you happy?"

Hindi ako nakapagsalita agad sa itinanong niya. His eyes are still close. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagtatanong ng ganito.

"No, Zig. Hindi ako masaya. Seeing you like this does not make me happy. Nakakainis ka." Inirapan ko ito.

"Luca..." parang hindi nito narinig ang sinabi ko.

Hinawakan niya ang braso ko.

"What?"

"I'm always...I'm always here." Iminulat niya ang mga mata niya pero nagulat ako nang may luhang lumabas mula sa mga 'yon. "Am I not enough?"

- End of Chapter Nine -