THE PLAY PRETEND

Suspicious

Totoo pala ang sinasabi nila, na ang pag-ibig, kusang dumarating. Sa panahong hindi mo gusto, sa oras na di mo inaasahan. Dadarating na lang na parang hangin. Hindi nakita, pero mararamdaman.

Love made its way to me. Hindi ko hininging maramdaman pero ibinigay. Hindi ko hinanap pero dumating. Ganon pala iyon. Hindi ko alam kung saan at paano nagsimula pero isang araw nagising nalang ako na mahal ko na pala ‘yung tao.

“I promise to pretend that I am interested in your video games,” Farah began her vow and everyone laughed. “Jokes aside, Kaden, I promise that I will always listen to you until I can no longer hear well. Tonight, as I marry to you, I marry my best friend. On this special day and in front of these special people, I promise that nothing can keep us apart.”

Sinuot niya ang singsing kay Kaden. Then theyy shared a passionate kiss. A kiss that signifies their promise to each other.

I am happy to witness Farah’s special moment.

When the ceremony ended, kaliwa’t-kanan ang pictorial. Unang pumuwesto ang mga bisitang gustong makapagpicture sa bagong kasal. Sunod ay ang mga groomsmen at bridesmaids. On Kaden’s was his best man na rinig ko ay best friend daw nito, tabi naman niya ay ang mga groomsmen kabilang si Felix. On Farah’s side was her maid of honor, which is Coraline, sa tabi niya ay nakatayo ang mga bridesmaids. Huling kinuhanan ng litrato ang kanilang pamilya. Few more shots and we’re ready to go outside for the reception.

I was contented in watching them from afar but Farah shouted my name when she saw me mixed in the crowd.

“Shiloah!” she gestured me to come near her.

“Dito lang ako,” nahihiyang sabi ko dahil pinagtitinginan na ako ng ibang guests.

“Hay nako!” hawak ang kanyang bouquet, inalsa niya ang hem ng kanyang gown at malalaki ang hakbang na lumapit sa akin. “We did not take a picture together,” aniya. Hinakan niya ang kamay ko at inakay pabalik sa harap ng make-shift na altar.

“Kaden, bilis,” utos niya sa asawa. She placed me beside her. Para magkaharapan kami, tinagilid niya ang kanyang katawan kung saan bahagya naman itong nakatalikod kay Kaden.

“Okay… 1… 2…” bilang ng photographer. Sa likod niya ay ang nakatayong si Felix. Magkakrus ang mga kamay at diretso ang paningin sa akin. Hindi ko alam pero pakiramdam ko ay nakaka-intimida ang paraan niya ng paninitg sa akin. Bahagya tuloy nanginig ang labi ko nang ngumiti ako.

“Le’s make Coraline more jealous of you,” she whispered in my ears. Hindi ko masyadong naintindihan kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihi. Ang alam ko lang, ang sumunod na nangyari ay tinawag niya ang kapatid niya.

“Kuya, come quick!”

Felix took a step forward and came not to Farah but to me. It’s as if he knew exactly what Farah wanted.

“What…” naguguluhan kong tanong nang ipinasa niya sa akin ang hawak niyang bouquet.

“Hold it.”

She closed the distance between me and Felix.

It’s kind of weird to feel this way. To feel shy when are like this towards us. It’s overwhelming for me.

Nang maiayos niya ang anggulo namin ni Felix ay tumakbo siya pababa at tumabi sa photographer.

“1… 2…”

I was not able to smile especially when I felt Felix’s hand snake around my waist.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

I looked up at him. Napalunok ako nang nagtama ang paningin namin. Sinabi ko na kanina sa sarili ko kung gaano kabagay sa kanya ang wolf haircut. Pero mas lalo lang siyang gumwapo sa paningin ko ngayong ganito siya kalapit sa akin.

“T-thanks…” nauutal kong sagot.

His grip tightened, pulling me closer to him.

“1… 2… smile,” Farah grinned.

“Smile, love,” Felix said, almost whispering.

My heart fluttered at his endearment. I flashed a smile and the camera shuttered.

Kanina habang may araw pa ay maganda na ang pagkaka-ayos ng pool area. Pero mas lalo itong gumanda ngayon. It almost felt like majestic.

The dinner was a full-course meal. While the guests are eating, there was an orchestra playing a classic love song to entertain people. I ate in the same table as Felix and his family, Coraline and her mom. A group of people approached him in the middle of dinner so when he excused himself to talk to them, I was left alone with them.

“Enjoy the rest of the night,” his father told me when I was having my dessert.

“Thank you, tito,” I smiled at him. He smiled back.

“Is Felix treating you good?” he asked.

I smiled shyly. If only I could tell him our bad start but I guess that’s all in the past now. “He is a good man, tito.”

“I’m glad.”

Nagulat ako nang biglang salita ang mommy ni Felix.

“How long have you been dating?” she asked while her eyes fixed on her plate.

“Ugh,” I dropped my fork “Um, it has been a while. Po.”

“Bago pa lang?” tumaas ang kilay niya sa akin “Pwede pang maghiwalay.”

Natigilan ako sa salitang binitawan niya.

I even heard Coraline almost wheezed. She’s enjoying this, huh?

“Felicity…” makahulugang tawag sa kanya ng kanyang asawa.

“What? I’m just stating my opinion,” mataray niyang sabi. “Anyway, Coraline.”

“Yes, tita?”

“Do you want to go island hopping with me tomorrow?”

Tito cleared his throat and looked at me apologetically.

Obviously, nasira ang mood ko. I can’t even chew the last bite of the tiramisu no matter how delicious it was. I don’t get it. What is it with Felix and Coraline that it was hard for her to accept that her son found a new love. Kung tutuusin, kung ano man ang namagitan sa kanila noon should be nothing dahil bata pa sila.

So why?

Ganoon ba kaimportante sa kanya na itakda ang anak niya sa kababata nito?

“Excuse me,” paalam ko.

I walked out of that table. I wanted to come to Felix to tell him I wanted to rest but I can’t see him around. Where did he go?

Naglakad-lakad ako habang sinusuri ang bawat taong madadaanan ko. In the dance floor, marami na ang sumasayaw sa malakas na tugtugin kahit hindi pa nangnangalahati ang gabi.

I decided to stop in a vacant table. Yung table na kadalasang makikita sa mga club, iyong walang upuan. Napadaan sa akin ang isang receptionist na may hawak na tray ng mga alak, kumuha ako ng dalawang baso at nilapag iyon sa mesa.

I just wanted to try.

I drank the first glass straight. Mariin akong napapikit nang naramdaman ko ang pagguhit ng pait ng alak sa lalamunan ko. I composed myself and when I opened my eyes, I saw a man standing in front of me.

He smiled at me. “Hi,” he greeted as he placed his wine glass on the table.

“Hi.”

“Why are you alone?”

Tinitigan ko ang mukha niya. He’s familiar but I can’t quite remember who he is.

“Uh, wala lang. I wanted some fresh air. I guess?” hindi ko siguradong sagot.

He chuckled.

“I’m Joshua,”

“Hi, Joshua. I’m Shiloah.”

He placed his hand in front of me, waiting for a handshake. Hindi ko naman iya binigo. He smiled widely.

“I just saw you sa picture-taking kanina. You were not one of the bridesmaids?”

Umiling ako. Are you one of the groomsmen?”

Umiling rin siya. “Best man.”

My mouth created a large ‘O’ as I realized na kaya pala pamilyar ang mukha niya.

“So you’re the best friend, huh? Wow.”

Kinuha ko ang pangalawang baso ko at diretso ko ulit ininom iyon. Malakas akong napa-ubo sa lasa nito. Why the heck does it taste different than the first one?!

Dinaluhan ako ni Joshua. He raised his arm to request for some water na mabilis naman dumating. Agad ko itong ininom.

“Thank you.”

“You’re not a good drinker, are you?”

Tipid ko siyang nginitian pero nang narealize ko kung gaano siya kalapit sa akin ay pasimple akong lumayo.

He has a gentle, kind, and beautiful face. He’s also soft-spoken. But the earrings in his cartilage and low ear lobe contrasts his appearance, making him look like and bad angel.

Tumikhim ako. “Hindi naman. I mean, I drink. Occasionally.”

Marahan siyang tumango with a soft smile still plastered on his face. Nilingon niya ang mga taong nakapaligid sa amin. Ilang minuto rin kaming nahulog sa katahimikan at tanging ang musika lang ang maririnig sa pagitan naming dalawa.

The music changed into something hyping. The DJ also increased the volume it was impossible to hear what Joshua said he tried to strike a conversation again.

“What?” halos isigaw ko na iyon.

Joshua took a few steps to close the distance between us. He leveled his lips in my ears before speaking.

“I said, how are you related to--”

Hindi pa natatapos ang sinasabi niya ay nagulat ako ng may kamay akong naramdaman sa bewan ko at hinila ako palayo sa kausap.

When I turned to see who it was, I felt Felix’s lips against mine.

“I’m sorry, man. Are you saying something?” maangas niyang tanong kay Joshua.

I bit my lip. Why does it sound so rude?

Natatawang umiling si Joshua. “See you around, Shiloah,” he picked up his glass and drink the remaining liquid in it. He then raised it as if raising a toast.

Nang tuluyang nawala sa paningin namin si Joshua ay marahan kong hinampas ang dibdib ni Felix.

“Why do you have to do that?”

“What?” inosente niyang tanong. “Do you think kissing is rude?”

Pakiramdam ko ay umakyat ang dugo ko sa mukha ko.

“T-that’s not what I meant. A-ang ibig kong s-sabihin, you don’t have to do that lalo na’t maayos naman ang pakikitungo sa akin ni Joshua.”

“Joshua!” hindi makapaniwalang sabi niya “You exchanged names, huh?” Pinangunutan ko siya ng noo. “This is why I don’t like leaving you alone. Malingat lang ako saglit, may iba ka ng kinakausap.”

“What are you saying? Are you drunk?”

Umiling siya.

I tried to scan his face but because of the neon lights, I can’t see clearly is he’s red or not. But I’m pretty sure he’s acting weird.

“Can you please not try to be beautiful? So I can keep you to myself alone.”

My heart skipped a beat. Nagpanggap na lang akong natatawa. I wanted to speak more with him but I am starting to feel tired. Humikab ako.

“Can we rest now?” I asked.

“That’s your answer to me?”

“What? Please, I’m tired already.”

Huminga siya ng malalim. “Fine.”

He held my hand and we walked to the entrance of the resort.

“Oh? Shiloah?” tawag ni Farah nang nakasalubong namin siya. She’s with her husband and a group of people I am not familiar with.

“She’ll be sleeping, Farah. She’s tired,” Felix answered in my place.

“Aww. That’s sad. I wanted to have more time with you,” nakanguso niyang baling sa akin.

I smiled at her. “Congratulations, Farah. You’re now a wife.”

“The hardest job of all,” she rolled her eyes. Sabay kaming natawa. “Wll, good night. See you tomorrow?”

Tumango ako.

“Felix, baka naman puwede kang magpaalam na dito ka muna kahit ilang saglit pa. We just saw each other again today and you told us you’ll be leaving tomorrow,” rinig kong sabi ng isang lalaki.

“Oo nga naman, bro. It’s not like we drink like this when you’re back in the Metro. Hindi ka namin mahagilap doon,” ani naman ng isa.

“Next time, guys. My woman needs to rest,” he said.

“Awww. Nagbago ka na, nagka-girlfriend ka lang parang hindi mo na kami kaibigan,” umarteng nasasaktan naman ang isa.

Everyone laughed at him.

I gripped Felix’s hand tightly. Binaba niya ang paningin niya sa akin.

“It’s okay. I can go alone. Dito ka na lang muna.”

“But-”

“They’re asking for your time, Felix. Isa pa, tama sila. You’re always busy working so I think it won’t hurt you if you spare extra time to them?”

Tinitigan niya ako ng matagal. Sa huli ay malakas siyang bumuntong hininga.

“Fine,” nabibigong sabi niya.

I smiled at him.

“’Yun oh! Thank you, miss!” his friends cheered. Nginitian ko rin sila.

I left him there. Gusto pa niya na ihatid ako sa kwarto namin but I told him I can go alone.

I was smiling and shaking my head when I remembered Felix but my smile slowly dropped when I saw Coraline and her mom talking seriously in the main lobby of the resort.

Hindi pa rin nila ako napapansin kahit bumagal na ang paglalakad ko.

“We have to do this, Coraline. This is for your future,” her mom said.

“But mommy…”

“No buts! Babagsak ako, babagsak ka! Gusto mo ba ‘yon?”

Madadaanan ko sila. I was about to excuse myself when Coraline faced on my direction. Her eyes widened. Natigilan ako nang malalaki ang hakbang niya nang nilapitan niya ako at nakaramdam ako ng takot para sa sarili ko nang mahigpit niya akong hinawakan sa braso.

“Ouch! You’re hurting me…” sinubukan kong kalasin ang kamay niya pero mas malakas siya.

“You’re eavesdropping, are you?! What did you hear? Huh?! How dare you!” malakas niya akong binitawan.

I winced when I felt a sting in my arms. Nakita ko ang pahabang linya sa balat ko, nagmarka din ang kanyang kuko.

Lumapit na rin ang kanyang mama na ngayon ay masama ang tingin sa akin. Pero hindi ako nagpatalo, mas masama ang tinging ipinukol ko sa kanilang dalawa.

“Wala akong narinig! Mas lalong hindi ako nakikinig!” Inayos ko ang postura ko at taas noo ko silang hinarap. Pinanliitan ko sila ng mata. “You’re being suspicious, Coraline.”

“What did you say…” nanginig ang kanyang boses. Akmang lalapit pa siya lalo sa akin pero pinigilan siya ng kanyang ina.

“Stop it. Let’s go,” aniya at hinila na ang anak palabas.

Bago tuluyang maka-alis sa harapan ko ay binangga niya pa ang balikat ko.

What the hell…