Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

TODAY IS THE DAY!

Masaya akong bumangon sa kama at agad na dumeritso sa banyo upang maligo. I did my morning routine and while doing it, I couldn't help not to smile. I'm so happy and excited for this day. Parang mapupunit na ata ang labi ko sa lawak ng aking pagkakangiti. My mood for today is so damn good.

Matapos kong kumain ng breakfast kasama si Helios at ang pamilya niya, lumabas na rin ako para umalis. Kasama ko ang anak ng mayordoma ng bahay na si Yohan pumunta sa bahay nina Tita Sali dahil uuwi na rin ito sa kanila. We're friends since childhood kaya panatag ang loob kong kasama siya.

Nang makarating kami sa bahay ng tita ko ay sinalubong nila ako ng yakap at bati.

Nangingiting niyakap ko sila pabalik at isa isang ibinigay sa mga pinsan ang mga gusto nila. Binili ko iyon kahapon sa mall habang namimili ako ng damit na maisusuot ngayon. Nagtitili ang mga ito pero agad ding natahimik nang pinagalitan sila ni Tita.

"Anong oras ba darating dito 'yung mga kaibigan mo, Sunny?" tanong ni Tita habang pareho kaming busy sa kusina.

Maingat kong binalatan ang pipino bago sumagot na hindi siya tinitingnan. "Mga alas kwatro po siguro, tita."

"Dalawa lang ba sila?"

Umiling ako at ngumiti. "Marami po sila, tita. Sa tingin niyo po, kasya ang plato natin dito?" Nag angat ako ng tingin na nagtatanong. "Ang tatakaw pa naman ng mga iyon,"

"'Di bale, ilalabas ko nalang iyong mga plato at tupperwares na nasa drawer." aniya na bahagyang natawa nang ngumuso ako.

"Sunny, saan ko ilalagay ang regalo sa'yo?" pareho kaming nagulat ni Tita nang biglang sumulpot si Seth.

I looked at him sharply. "Seth, puwede ba mag-signal ka muna bago ka susulpot!"

He scratched his brow. "Iyong regalo ko nga sa'yo..." he murmured while pouting.

Umirap ako. "Maya mo na ibigay para ma-surprise naman ako."

"'Ge, lodicakes." he said. Umirap ako ngunit nangingiti na rin. Pinagpatuloy ko ang ginagawa at hanggang sa pagluto ay todo alalay ako kay Tita.

Ever since our mother passed away, dito ko na talaga sine-celebrate ang birthday ko dahil ini-insist iyon ni Tita. It's not an issue naman sa kanila because they weren't those kind of people na ang hilig magbilang ng mga naitulong at nagawang mabuti sa'yo. They're too kind and humble. Kahit may kahirapan sa buhay, basta't kompleto at nakakakain ng tatlong beses o sobra pa sa isang araw, masaya na sila roon.

Matapos ang paghahanda namin ay pinaligo na rin ako ni Tita para raw umano makapaghanda na ako sa magiging birthday ko. I've invited my friends over my birthday celebration. Inimbita ko rin ang magkambal na kapatid ko at pumayag naman sila.

Quinn being a b***h herself wasn't invited.

Isa-isang nagsidatingan ang mga inimbita ko at sinalubong ko sila sa may pintuan na may ngiti. Binati nila ako at ibinigay sa akin ang mga dalang regalo.

"Thank you!" malawak na pagkakangiting saad ko at bahagyang iniyuko ang ulo.

"You're welcome," Saito pinched my cheek na agad namang tinapik ni Eleazar.

"Don't. She doesn't like being pinch." seryosong anito at magkasalubong ang mga makakapal na kilay.

Humagalpak ng tawa si Saito. "Relax! Hindi naman iyon malakas."

"Tss." irap nito.

Napatikhim ako at kiming ngumiti. "T-That's okay, I-I'm fine." nauutal kong sabi.

For a moment, nagsisi akong inimbita ko rito si Eleazar but it quickly faded away after knowing na kaibigan pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin even though kakagaling lang namin sa break up.

"Uhm... Happy birthday," he greeted with a hesitant smile. Inilahad niya ang paper bag na hawak at atubiling tinanggap ko iyon.

"Thanks, uh, pasok na kayo." ngumiti ako at gumilid nang kaunti upang paraanin sila.

Nang makapasok na sa loob ay pasimple kong sinapo ang aking dibdib. I don't have a feelings for him anymore, right? But why does it feels like the same? Napailing ako.

Enough of your drama right now, Sunshine. Today is your birthday so you must enjoy this.

"Happy birthday, Araw!" boses iyon ni Sinon na kakarating lang.

"Sin!" I smiled widely and welcomed him with a hug. "Hala! Ang daya mo! Ang sabi mo 'di ka makakapunta?!" nguso ko.

"Sus, ako pa ba ang hindi pupunta? Eh, niransak ako ng kapatid mo sa condo ko!" he exclaimed with a terrified expression on his face.

"Ah... talaga ba, Fourth?" humalikipkip si Trisha at nakataas ang isang kilay. Nasa may terrace pa lamang sila ng bahay. Sa likuran niya ay si Travis na parang galit ata sa mundo base sa magkasalubong na kilay at umiigting na panga nito.

"I-Isha!" gulat na sambit ni Sinon sa pangalan nito.

"Huh!" she rolled her eyes. Nang dumako ang tingin niya sa akin ay binigyan niya ako ng isang matamis na ngiti. "Hi, good afternoon. Happy birthday!" she greeted with so much enthusiasm on her voice.

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks for coming,"

"Sure thing," she gave me a paper bag. "Nasa loob na rin ang gift ni kuya. Share lang kami ng lalagyan," binesohan niya muna ako bago niya ako lampasan at pumasok sa loob. Sumunod naman ang dalawang lalaki.

Dumating pa ang mga ilang kailala at kaibigan ko at sinalubong naman nila ako ng pagbati. Dori and Ryela gave me their handmade embroidered painting. Trank, Ashley, Eulynne gave me an expensive gifts. Nangangalay na ang mga tuhod ko kakatayo kakahintay sa akin. Akmang babalik na ako sa loob nang biglang dumating ang isang pamilyar na sasakyan.

Agad na nagliwanag ang aking mga mata at napaayos ng pagkakatayo. Gumuhit ang malaking ngiti sa aking labi habang hinihintay siyang makababa. A man with his navy blue polo tucked in his maong jeans got out from the car. Nakaputing sapatos ito at sa isang tingin pa lang malalaman mo nang may dating sa buhay.

"Icarus!" I exclaimed happily, my heart suddenly went crazy inside my ribcage.

He looked up to me and our gaze met. His hazel brown eyes were so beautiful and expressive even in our distance I can clearly see the flickers in it.

His lips formed into a smile.

Lalapit na sana ako sa kaniya nang biglang bumukas ang isa pang pintuan at kasabay no'n ay ang paglabas ni Grettle na nakasuot ng isang navy blue dress.

My smiled faded a bit.

"Hi, Sunny! Happy 16th birthday!" her sweet and soft voice penetrated my ears.

I don't know what to react. I don't know what to do. It feels like someone just stole my heart and break it into a tiny pieces. This feeling wasn't new to me but the thought of feeling it towards them were confusing.

Pilit akong ngumiti.

"Grettle..." I managed to say without even stammering and blinking my eyes. "Thanks," I added and gulped hard the sudden lump in my throat.

Napaatras ako nang bahagya nang sabay silang humakbang papalapit sa aking direksyon. Her arms were hooked around his waist and so as the latter. They were smiling from ear-to-ear and the happiness on their eyes were so pure and genuine.

I should be smiling... I should be happy for them. I should be happy and I must've smiling like I was before, but why do I feel so small standing next to them? Why do I feel this kind of emotion?

"H-Hi!" I fake a cheerful voice, hoping it could hide the bitterness trying its way out from my mouth.

"Happy birthday, My Light." Icarus greeted.

Tumango ako nang hindi manlang tinitingnan ang kaniyang mga mata. Inaya ko silang pumasok sa loob. Hindi naman nagtagal ay nagsimula na rin ang selebrasyon para sa kaarawan ko. Everyone sang a birthday song for me. Pina-speech pa nila ako sa harapan para sabihin ang mga nais kong sabihin. Nag-iinit tuloy ang mga pisngi ko sa kahihiyaan.

After no'n ay nagsimula na talaga ang kaninan. I looked at Travis and he's quiet the whole time. Inililibot niya ang paningin sa paligid na parang nag o-obserba.

Lumapit ako. "Want something to eat?" He looked at me flatly and shook his head. "Drink, perhaps?"

Umiling ulit siya. "Thanks but no thanks."

Tumango ako at hinayaan nalang siya. Siguro ay hindi siya sanay sa ganitong handaan na magulo at sobrang ingay.

I flinched when a heavy arm hung over my shoulder. I glared at Sinon and he just grinned. "Gusto ko ng coke, bhie." he wiggled his brow as if reminding me of what happened the day before yesterday.

Uminit ang pisngi ko at mabilis ko siyang siniko. "Kumuha ka roon mag-isa mo! " mataray kong sabi at inikotan siya ng mga mata. He laughed.

Pinuntahan ko ang ibang bisita at saglit na nakipag usap.

"Happy birthday, Sunshieee!" Louise greeted me with a huge smile on her face.

"Happy 16th birthday, Suns!" Neus smirked.

"Happy birthday."

"Maligayang kaarawan!"

"Happy births!"

Ngumisi ako at nagpasalamat sa kanila. Una kong kinausap at inentertain ang mga close na kaibigan ko bago ko kinausap ang mga friends sa school. Our friends teased Eleazar and I about comeback stuff and such but we just laughed it off, saying that we're already friends. Nagtawanan ang iba sa kanila at ang iba naman ay nasasayangan sa min.

But all they didn't knew, my heart and my ego were already been bleeding.

After the seemingly unending teasing and very uncomfortable topic, sa wakas ay nakapag-excuse na rin ako.

Pumunta ako sa kusina only to be greeted by this familiar man and his familiar effect on me.

I met his hazel brown eyes.

He smiled me and motioned me to come closer to him. I hesitantly walked towards him.

"C'mon, don't be shy." he chuckled.

My cheeks heated up in an instant. He then, pulled me into a hug right after the distance of us were no hard for him to catch me.

Smelling his manly scent, hearing his steady breathing, feeling his warm body, and listening to his fast heartbeat, I could feel my insides just melted once again.

Icarus were like an acid to me. Everytime I am near him it feels like the thick brick wall I created around me were slowly crashing down. It makes me so fragile, so vulnerable and so much like of a jelly.

"Happy birthday..." he whispered to my ears, giving me goosebumps.

I closed my eyes as a smile slowly creeps in my lips. "T-Thank you." I muttered.

We pulled away from the hug and he gave me a small velvet box. Nakangangang tinanggap ko iyon. Sa pangalan pa lang ng brand ay alam ko nang mamahalin ito.

I tilted my head up and our eyes locked, he smiled and messed my hair.

"Hope you like it,"

Napakurap-kurap na tumakbo ako sa malapit na stool table at umupo roon. Ipinatanong ko sa ibabaw ang maliit na kaheta at nagniningning ang mga matang binuksan ito.

My eyes widened even more and any moment from now, I guess it would pop it out on its socket.

"Wow..." I couldn't find the right word to say after I saw the what's inside the box.

There was a beautiful gold necklace in it. The chain were thin and made of gold, in the middle of it was a small sun-shaped pendant with a real diamond surrounding the surface. A tiny six stars were amazingly hanging a bit on the both sides of the pendant. It's obviously customized one.

Natulala ako at nalulula sa ganda nito.

Just the mere thought of how much money he spent just to buy this, it makes me happy and grateful BUT another part of me was getting misgiving if I should accept it or not.

I thought about the helpess kids on the streets, begging for food and seeking for a warm home. A peso were already a blessing for them. I thought of how unprivileged they are and how pitiful their situation right now.

Those people who were suffering from different kind of illness and those people who suffering due calamities.

I suddenly felt so bad for them.

Tapos heto't isang pipiratsong kwentas na ang katumbas ay ilang daang pagkain na maaari sanang maitulong sa iba, tatanggapin ko at gagawin lamang isang koleksyon at palamuti sa katawan?

How unfair the world for them?

"Uh, you like it, didn't you?" kabadong tanong sa akin ng kasama ko.

Napakurap ako at napayuko. "Uhm..."

"Hindi mo nagustuhan?" he carefully asked with a bit disappointment on his voice.

I gasped and shook my head. "Hindi! Hindi! Mali ka ng inaakala! Uhm, it's beautiful and... so amazing. I...I just couldn't imagine how pricey it is."

Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi.

He sighed. Kinuha niya mula sa akin ang kaheta at tinanggal ang kwentas dito. "It's not that you're just wasting a money for a petty thing like this. Being an unreasonable person and being a materialistic girl. Hindi mo naman araw-araw itong mabibili at hindi ka naman araw-araw may bagong ganito. I know you're getting worried about its price and what you could've brought if you spend it on the other necessary things... But, Sunny, there were times you also need to spoil yourself. There were times you also need to think of yourself. Be selfish for once. It's not bad, you know." he patiently said like it was as if he already had prepared for this day to come. "Satisfying yourself with the thing makes you happier is far better than satisfying your conscience and being so selfless." he added.

A long silence stretched over us.

"Come on, the necklace is beautiful. And I think it'll be more beautiful if I put it on you. Do you think?" basag niya sa katahimikan.

Tulirong pumayag ako. He settled himself on the back of me and then he slowly parted my short hair on the left side of my neck, exposing my bare nape. I gulped hard when his finger touched me softly there.

It sent shivers down my spine. My heart took a leap as the butterflies in my belly went crazier.

Ah, I hate my heart.

Matapos niyang maisuot iyon sa akin ay siya namang tawag sa'kin ni Tita.

"S-Salamat," namumula ang pisnging pagpapaaalam ko at lakad takbong bumalik sa sala.

"Sunshine lagyan mo nga 'yang kanin kaibigan mo na si Sinon at nakukulangan pa." sabi ni Tita habang may dalang plato sa kaniyang kamay.

Ngumiwi ako at tiningnan si Sin na ngayon ay ang nangingisi. Iniwan ko roon si Icarus mag-isa dahil lamang walang maglalagay ng kanin sa plato ni Sinon?

Where's the justice?

"Mag sandok ka." sabi ko.

He smirked. "Bakit, ako ba si Sunshine? Ako ba ang sinabihan ni Tita Sali? Hindi naman, 'di ba?"

"Pero ikaw yung kakain!" I hissed. Nakakaasar din itong si Sinon, eh.

"Does it matter? The point here is, hindi ako si Sunshine. Hindi ako ang inutusan ni Tita." he grinned.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Ayoko nga!"

"Sumbong kita sa tita mo, sige ka."

"E'di, magsumbong ka," I rolled my eyes in annoyance and sat on the chair next to him.

"Talaga!" aniya.

"Ha! Talaga rin!" sagot ko naman.

"Talaga pala, ah?"

"Talaga," ngisi ko. Does he think may effect sa kin ang pagsumbong-sumbong niya kay Tita? Ah, I regretted inviting him on my birthday party celebration. Aside from matakaw siya, feeling master din ang kumag.

"Okay..." he shrugged. Natigilan naman ako. "TITA! SI SUNSHINE PO, TITA OH!" he exclaimed loudly.

Nanlaki ang mata ko at napatakip sa bibig sa kahihiyaan. Everyone was looking at our direction with confusion on their eyes. I looked at Sinon dumbfoundedlym

OH MY GOSH!

"Anong nangyari, Hijo?" nag aalalang tanong ni Tita.

Ngumuso si Sin na halatang nagpapakaawa. "Si Sunshine po, Tita! Ayaw—" I cut him off by an awkward, nervous laugh.

"Wala tita, hehe." I gritted my teeth while keeping my smile visible. "Ang sabi niya po ang ganda ko raw,"

Tita seemed unconvinced.

I smiled reassuringly at her as I put a bunch of rice on Sin's plate. As in marami talaga. SOBRANG DAMI. Tingan lang natin kaylan aabot ang takaw niya.

He gasped in horror.

"Gutom na gutom daw po talaga siya eh kaya gustong gusto pa niyang kumain. Ang sarap din daw ng ulam natin kaya hindi niya matigil-tigilan." I said and smiled sweetly.

Nang tingnan ko ang plato niya ay singkatutak na kanin at ulam ang nagkapatong-patong doon.

I looked at his eyes and smiled slyly. "...'di ba, Sinon?"

His eyes widened as he gulped. Hard. He looked down on his food and back to me. He seems remorseful about his decision of annoying the hell out of me.

"Hijo?" Tita waited for his respond.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at ngumisi ng nakakaloko.

He wandered his eyes, finding someone that could save him but everyone looked away. He mumbled a groaned before he nervously laughed and nodded nonchalantly.

"O-Opo, hehe." he cleared his throat. "G-Gutom pa po ako. Uubusin ko ho ito,"

"Tss." Ani Travis na nakangisi at halatang nai-enjoy sa pagpapanic ni Sinon.

Sinon glared at us before rolling his eyes and ate while lips are protruding. Napatawa ako. Matapos niyang maubos iyon ay nilagyan ko pa ulit ang plato niya.

Napahimas himas siya sa kaniyang tiyan at napasandal sa upuan ngunit nang makita ang kanin na nilagay ko ay singbilis ni The Flash pa siya ng napatayo.

His eyes grew bigger.

"S-Shutangina mofoh!" he exclaimed. Napasign of the cross pa siya habang namumutla ang buong mukha.

"Tita, ang sarap daw po talaga sabi Sinon!" I exclaimed and grinned. "Ang sarap niyo raw po talagang magluto. He can't get enough. Puwede rin po ba raw'ng magbalot?"

Lumingon si tita sa aming direksyon ang napangiti. "Halata nga," she commented. "Aba'y oo naman. Pwede'ng pwede kang magbalot, Sinon, Hijo. Sandali, may transparent akong lalagyan doon."

I bit my tongue to stop myself from laughing hard. Mahinang natawa si Travis habang umiinom sa tubig nito at kunwa'y hindi pinapansin ang nakapaligid sa kaniya.

"Magana tayo ngayong kumain, ah?!" A familiar voice said and tapped Sinon's shoulder which made him startled and made everyone of us gasped in surprised.

Nanlaki ang aking mata nang makita kung sino ito. "Isha!" Napasinghap ako at napatayo.

She gave me a bitchy stare as she raised me a brow. I blinked. "You pieces of s**t!" singhal niya bago binalingan si Travis na nakanganga lang. "Bakit hindi niyo pinagtutulongan si Fourth?!" she yelled angrily.

Panic crossed on Travis' eyes as he stood up and offered his twin sister his seat.

"W-What are you talking about?"

Ngumuso si Isha bago umiling. She sat on the chair Travis' occupied few seconds ago.

"Ah, Isha?" Ngumiti nang matamis si Sinon ng tawagin niya ito.

"What?" Maarteng aniya at bahagyang ngumiwi nang makitang puno ang bibig ni Sinon.

"Gutom ka?" he struggled to say.

"Hindi naman," she replied immediately and frowned. "Nubayan,"

He pursed his lips as he sat straight. Umayos siya ng pagkakaupo at nilanok ang kinain. "Pero kakain ka?"

"Oo nga—" he cut her off.

"Great! Eto! Sa'yo na! Go, Isha! Masarap 'yan!" sabay tulak niya sa kaniyang plato na punong-puno ng pagkain.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"Sige na! Take it! Akin 'yan! Malinis iyan, Isha bebe!"

"Yuck! No way!" she grimaced.

"Wala 'tong virus uy!"

"Geez! May laway mo 'yan, 'no!" she fake a vomiting sound.

"Luh! Arte ka, gurl? Makadiri 'to eh natikman mo naman na ang laway ko!" he fired back and his lips protruded.

May anghel bang dumaan? Ang tahimik na ah? Everyone went silent including the two individuals who were arguing about small matters.

Until Travis' angry voice interrupted the silence. "What?" his brown eyes were dark and deadly.

"Oh, gosh! Oh, gosh! Hindi 'yan totoo! Sinon! Stop that! You're lying! Kuya, d-don't believe him!"

"Asus! Deny ka pa talaga! Ikain mo nalang 'yan!"

"Liar! I never intended to kiss—" he cut her off.

"Eat, you brat!"

Lahat kami ay nanlaki ang mata nang bigla nalang ipinasok ni Sinon ang fried chicken sa bibig ni Isha.

He then, smiled triumphantly before winking at her.

"SINON SAWYER THE FOURTH!" Umalingawngaw ng boses ni Travis sa buong lugar. Nawala ang ngiti sa labi ni Sin at mabilis na namutla.

Napuno nang tawanan ang buong lugar habang pinapanuod namin sina Sin at Travis na naghahabulan sa loob ng sala. Galit na galit si Travis sa narinig at dahil na rin sa pang aasar ni Sinon sa kakambal nito.

On the other hand, Isha seemed unbothered as I watched her chew the fried chicken. Naipiling ako.

Dumating si Tita Sali at pareho silang pinagalitan. They pouted as they apologized. Para silang batang hindi pinagbigyan ng mga magulang dahil nakahalukipkip ang dalawa sa mahabang sofa at parehong ang hahaba ng mga nguso.

I sighed as I looked at my half siblings. Ngayon ko lang nakita ang ganitong side ng personality nila. They are crazy. Mga isip bata. Hindi naman pala sila matapobre. They can get along with poor people. I began to wonder what kind of parenting does Helios showed to them?

Nang lumalim na ang gabi ay isa-isa ng nagpaalam ang mga bisita ko. I hugged my bestfriends and they kissed me on my cheeks.

"Ehem!" I heard a cough. I stilled upon hearing that familiar mannerism whenever he wanted to catch someone's attention.

I looked over my shoulder and caught him standing with his hands inside his pocket.

Hilaw akong napangisi.

Eleazar was waiting for me to talk to him. Naglakad ako papunta sa kaniya. We stared on each other's eyes. No words came out from our mouths.

Awkward.

Pilit akong ngumiti. Yeah, we're good and all but it wasn't as comfortable unlike before. Ele is handsome, tall and masculine. Kaunti nalang at magpapantay na ang tangkad nila ni Icarus. And speaking of Icarus, I looked behind me to find him pero wala akong nakita.

I sighed.

Lumapit sa akin si Eleazar at binigyan ako ng isang yakap. Nanigas naman ako sapagkat hindi ko iyon inaasahan. His hug gives me a lot of joy. Memories came rushing back and then the last thing I knew, my tear fell as I hugged him back.

The feelings weren't the same anymore and our love weren't as sweet as before but it is still genuine. His care, love and respect were still pure. He still treasured me. Maybe he was right when he stated we didn't deserve each other. He's too good to be true. He deserves much better than me.

A part of me was still hurting knowing the fact that he'll find another woman and he'll love him as much as he love me before. Pero kung doon siya sasaya, sino ba ako para pigilan siya, 'di ba? I am still hurting because after all, he's my first love. Mawawala rin naman itong sakit pagkalipas ng panahon.

We pulled away from the hug. Napatingala ako sa kaniya. He looked down at me and his eyes softened. He cupped my face and kissed me on my forehead before he left.

Napahawak naman ako sa aking dibdib at napangiti. Now I began to realize how important he is to me. Kung bakit ko siya minahal kahit sa murang mga edad namin. Kung bakit ako sobrang nasaktan nang maghiwalay kami. I love him because he showed me the love, respect, care, and appreciation I wanted to feel. I loved Eleazar because I didn't just found a boyfriend within him... I found a friend, a companion and a family.

And I'll forever treasure him in my heart...