Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The news flashed about me helping the so-called nerdy-bullied-newbie student girl flare-up so quickly. Pinag uusapan iyon sa buong eskwelahan ang patungkol sa pagtulong ko umano sa kaawa awang nilalang. It made my blood boils. Literally. They didn't knew a thing. Wala silang alam sa anong mararamdaman ng mga taong binubully nila. Sa mga taong nakakaranas ng pang aabuso, wala silang alam. I know what it feels to be treated badly. 'Yung tipong maraming pumapasok sa isipan mo kung paano ipaglaban ang sarili pero wala kang lakas na loob para gawin talaga iyon.

Ryela tugged my uniform. "Baka awayin na naman 'yun doon, Sunshine." nag-aalalang saad niya, tinutukoy ay ang pag iwan ko kay Quinn sa sariling classroom nito.

I shook my head. Sinabi ko kasi sa kaniya ang nangyari kani-kanina lang. "They won't. Pinabantayan ko kay Seth,"

Her eyes widened as she blushed. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ko na may gusto siya sa kapatid kong lalako. "O-Oh? Magkaklase sila?"

"Hindi, magkatabi lang ng room." I smirked.

Hindi na nagtanong pa sa akin si Ryela dahil natulala na naman ito. Dumating ang professor namin at nagsimula nang nagklase. Sunod sunod ang mga pumasok ang mga subject teachers namin dahilan upang maging okupado ang oras ko.

Dumating ang lunch ay sabay kaming lumabas ng room ni Ryela, nasa third floor kasi ang building namin kaya nakakapagod minsan ang umakyat baba.

"Puntahan na muna natin si Dori, Sunny." she said. Tumango ako at huminto kami sa 2nd floor, sa tapat ng classroom nila Dori.

"Dia, nasaan si Gebby?" tanong ko kay Diamond na kakalabas lang ng room nila.

She looked at me and pointed somewhere on her fingers. "Nandoon sa ibaba, nasa garden."

"Ah, okay. Salamat, Diyamante." saad ni Ryela at hinila ako.

I typed a text on her.

Ako:

Dors, wer na u?

Mabilis naman siyang nagreply. Binasa ko ito habang naglalakad kami ni Ryela.

Dori:

Nasa megarden gurl come here.

Binulsa ko ang cellphone ko at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. When we reached the garden, a familiar voice was the first thing I heard. Nanlaki ang mata ko.

"That's simple, princess. You just have to multiply this into two, then add one and then substitute this five. Add this y and find x," A baritone voice said.

My heart skip a beat with its familiar rhythm.

"That's so simple!" I heard Dori's exclaimed as she clapped her hands. Parang tuwang tuwa sa nakuhang sagot.

"Yeah."

I bit my bottom lip as I fake a cough, napalingon silang sabay sa aming direksyon.

I smiled at Dori, "Hi,"

Her eyes widened. "Bes!" she exclaimed and ran to give me a hug.

I hugged her back and tapped her shoulder. "Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Kahit na alam ko ang rason kung bakit siya nandito, nag tanong pa rin ako.

She pulled away. "Kuya's here!"

I gulped down my gasp. "Oh? R-Really?" pagpapanggap ko.

"Yeah, 'yun oh, si kuya." itinuro niya ang direksyon kung nasaan si Icarus at peke akong napasinghap.

Our eyes locked and I saw how intense his hazel brown pierce through me. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko.

I smiled at him and waved my hand. "H-Hello, Ica."

He casually nodded his head at me. He licked his lower lip and looked away.

"Bakit siya n-nandito, Dori?" mahinang tanong ko sa kaibigan.

"Hinatid niya ang baon ko na niluto ni mommy tapos nagpaturo nalang din ako sa mathematics."

I nodded. "I can help you with that subject," presenta ko.

"I know, thank you." she giggled. "By the way, sasabay sa ating mag lunch si kuya ngayon."I gasped. I was shocked and glanced at Icarus who was sitting on the wooden chair.

"B-Bakit?" nauutal kong tanong.

"Hindi pa siya naglu-lunch, eh. Kawawa naman ang brother ko kung di ko yayayain."

"O-Oh... Okay." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Is that okay with you two? Na isasama natin siya?"

"That's okay with me."saad ni Ryela.

" Okay lang sa'kin pero... wala ba silang klase? Iba ang s-schedule ng klase nila kumpara sa atin, right?" umiwas ako ng tingin.

"Wala naman daw."

How about his girlfriend? Hindi ba sila sasabay ng 'girlfriend' niya?

Nagsimula nang magligpit ng gamit si Dori habang sinasagot ang mga tanong ko. Nakatingin ako kay Icarus na ngayon ay may kinukulikot sa kaniyang cellphone.

Siguro tinetext niya si Grettle?

Hindi ko mapigilang mapasimangot.

We went outside the campus hooking our arms together—ako ang nasa gitna sa aming tatlong babae. Si Icarus naman ay nasa likuran lang namin.

May coffee shop sa loob ng campus at isang maliit restaurant. Pero nais namin kumain ay sa labas.

Sa sobrang laki ng school namin. Mula elementary hanggang college ay meron ito. However, may boundaries nga lamang.

Maaraw ngayon kaya naglabas ako ng payong. Meron ding payong si Dori kaya share sila ni Ryela.

I sighed as I looked at my back, pawis na pawis si Icarus at mukhang naiinitan rin. "Share tayo?" I smiled.

He looked at me and slightly shook his head.

"It's okay."

I pouted. Nakaramdam ako ng inis. Ayaw ba niyang maka-share ako?

"Bahala ka, mainit pa naman." I scoffed.

Tumalikod na ako at hindi siya pinansin. Bahala siyang mainitan siya riyan. Ayaw niya akong makashare sa isang payong? Edi 'wag, it's his lost.

Ilang sandali pa ay naramdaman ko ang kaniyang kamay na humawak sa aking braso.

Nilingon ko siya at tinaasan ng kilay. Napahinto kami sa paglalakad.

I watched him brushing his hair upwards as he licked his lower lip. "M-Mainit nga..."

I hid my smile. "Oh? Tapos?"

He gulped as his cheeks turned pale pink. "Uh..."

"Hmm?" I almost giggled when I saw how his expression shifted uncomfortably.

"Uhm..." he scratched his brows and looked away. "S-Share tayo..."

Humagalpak ako ng tawa.

**

It took us 10 minutes of walking until we stopped in a nearby karenderya. In no time, the food was delivered. Umuusok pa ito sa init na siyang nagpapalaway sa'kin. Halos magliwanag na ata ang mga mata ko habang sumusubo nito. Ang sarap!

Habang kumakain ay nag uusap kami tungkol sa mga bagay bagay, magana kaming kumain lahat. Minsan ay nagnanakaw ako ng tingin kay Icarus na humihigop ng sabaw gamit na ang mangkok.

"What strand do you want to take after high school, Ryela?" Dori asked.

Ryela swallowed her food first before smiling. Ryela is not that pretty katulad ng ibang estudyante pero eye catcher siya. She actually won the Miss Intramural this school year, dagdag pa ang mga beauty search na sinalihan niya. And she's not skinny at all! What I love about her was her confidence, kahit na chubby siya at hindi rin katangkaran ay marunong siyang magtaas ng noo.

"Uh... I'm not sure, eh. I'm stuck between choosing STEM and HUMSS strands. Hindi ko pa sure. Ikaw ba, Dori, alam mo na ba anong strand ang kukunin mo?" tanong nito.

Dori sipped on her juice before nodding. "Maybe I'll take ABM? Just like you, Rey, I haven't decided yet. Nakakalito," she pouted. "Sunshine?"

"Yes?" I said while chewing.

"Anong pipiliin mo?" tanong niya.

Nag angat ako ng tingin at tumingin kay Icarus. Nakatingin lang din siya sa akin habang umiinom sa coke nito.

"Siya..." I said nonchalantly.

We all gasped when Icarus coughed. Nasamid ito at namula ang buong mukha.

I stood up abruptly and came closer to him and caressed his back. Para siyang nakuryente nang hawakan ko siya dahil bigla siyang tumayo at umiwas sa hawak ko.

"Kuya Icarus!" ani Ryela.

"Kuya! Oh, my gosh!" tili ni Dori.

He cleared his throat, still coughing.

"I'm f-fine..." he said and smiled. "The f**k, Araw..." he whispered and looked at me sharply.

I innocently looked at him. Hindi ko narinig ang huling sinabi niya. Nag aalalang binigyan ko siya ng isang baso ng tubig at kinuha niya naman ito at nilagok.

Bumalik sa maayos ang lahat at natapos niyang makainom ng tubig. Napangiti ako habang amuse na amuse siyang tiningnan.

"Babe, nandito ka lang pala."

But my smile faded when I heard Grettle's voice from my back.

My body stiffened like it was as if I just caught off guard. Why the hell did I stopped? I slowly looked down on my plate and played with my food. I think I just lost my appetite.

"Babe, come here, join us. Kumain ka na ba?" Icarus cold voice softened and it gave me a sting on my chest.

"Hindi pa, hinahanap kasi kita, eh. Tapos na ba kayong kumain?" she asked and pulled a chair to sit beside him.

"Hi, 'te Grettle," bati ng dalawa kong kaibigan. I pursed my lips into a line, suppressing a scoff.

"Hello, girls." she waved cutely.

Tumayo si Icarus at umalis, pagbalik niya, may dala na siyang isang tray ng pagkain at nilagay ito sa harapan ni Grettle.

"Thanks, babe!" she cheered.

Ngumiti si Icarus at tumango bago hinalikan ang kaniyang sentido. Pinalobo ko nalang ang pisngi ko bago dinukot ang cellphone at naisipang itext si Eleazar. Shoot.

I forgot he's sick.

Ako:

Have you eaten?

He replied after a few seconds.

Ele:

Not yet, baby. :( ikaw po kain ka na rin. Wag magpapagutom ang baby ko, okay?

Napangisi ako dahil alam ko namang nagpapaawa na naman ito sa akin.

Ako:

After class, pupuntahan kita dyan sa inyo, okay? Take good care of yourself, Ele. Kumain ka na. Uminom ka ng tubig at gamot.

Ele:

It would be lovely kung ikaw magpapakain sa akin. :(

Ako:

I love you. Kain ka na, mahal ko.

Ele:

I love you, babe. Kakain na po ako. Iinom na po ako ng gamot kahit mahirap lumunok ng tabletas. Magpapahinga po ako para po sa inyo, mahal ko.

I giggled because of his cuteness. Ah, Eleazar. You're so cute. I can't wait to see him later.

Ako:

Alright, love u. Rest ka na po.

*/sending kisses.

I pulled down my phone. Eleazar is such a cute boyfriend. He's really so thoughtful. I didn't regret giving ourselves a chance. He's every girls dream boy. And I am the most lucky girl to have him as mine.

I raised him a brow when I caught him looking at me darkly. His hazel brown eyes seems like penetrating my soul. His aura was so grim I'm scared if he was possessed by bad spirit. I blinked my eyes as my heart clenched while looking at hin

Tumayo na ako at uminom ng tubig. All eyes were on me.

"Sa'n ka pupunta?" kunot noong tanong ni Ryela sa akin.

"C-Comfort room lang. Excuse me," I said while my eyes were fixed on Icarus.

His jaw was hardly clenching.

**

"Bagay kaya 'to sa akin, ate Sunny?" she asked while glancing at the dress. It was an off shoulder baby pink dress above the knees with a small strap. Nandito kami ngayon sa loob ng kwarto ko dahil inimbitahan ko siya. Quinn and I became close ever since I started noticing her as my sister. Hindi niya pa alam at wala akong planong sabihin sa kaniya ang totoo. It's been weeks when I stood for her in front of the bullies. Mula roon ay naging malapit na rin kami sa isa't isa.

"I think that will suits you better, Quinn." said by the familiar voice, it was Eleazar, resting his head on my lap.

He smiled at Quinn.

"Really, Eleazar?" she asked, flushing.

My boyfriend nodded. "Of course, ang ganda mo. You look like a queen."

Mas lalong namula ang pisngi ni Quinn at nahihiyang ngumiti. I smiled back at her as I brushed my fingers on Ele's hair.

"Isukat mo na," I said softly and protruded my lips on the bathroom.

She followed what I said.

"Her features kinda familiar to me, love. Parang nakita ko na siya dati, eh. 'Di ko lang maalala." he said with a small smile on his lips.

Napangiti ako. It's because we're sisters, idiot. Gusto kong isantinig pero hindi ko nalang ginawa. Maybe some of her features comes from our father... and to be honest, whenever I look myself in front of the mirror, I could see Sir Helios' face. It's all over. Di mapagkakailang anak nga niya ako.

But it's nonsense, anyways.

Binaba ko ang aking ulo at hinalikan ang labi ni Eleazar. He smirked and kissed me back. Napangiti rin ako. Dahan dahan siyang bumangon at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ko. He pushed his tongue inside of my mouth and I quickly sucked it. For our three years of relationship, kissing is no longer new to us.

"E-Ele..." I moaned when his lips traveled on my cheek, to my jaw, down to my neck.

He kept on kissing, licking and sucking me there. Napapikit ako at napasabunot sa kaniyang buhok.

"Ate Sunshine, maganda po ba—"

Bigla kong natulak si Eleazar nang marinig ko ang boses ni Quinn. My eyes widened as I felt my cheeks burning. My boyfriend groaned and laughed afterwards. Nakangising umupo siya sa likuran ko at pinalibot ang mga braso sa aking tiyan. He then, rested his chin on my shoulder.

Siniko ko siya dahil sa mahihina niyang tawa. Yes, we kissed but we didn't go any further than that. He respects me as much as he respects his mother and sisters. That's why I'm totally in love with him. He's not hard to be love.

"You're beautiful, Quinn." I said as I got stunned. She looks regal. A Queen indeed. She wasn't wearing her round eyeglasses and her hair was tied in a half pony tail.

I bit my lower lip as I stood up and guide her through the vanity mirror. She was wearing the dress I gave earlier

While looking at the reflection, I uttered, "Look at yourself, gorgeous, right?"

Her cheeks reddened. "T-Thank you..."

I smiled softly. "You're very much welcome, Quinn."

Since she stared getting along with the trends, madalas ko ng marinig ang mga komplimento nang mga tao sa kaniya. Hindi na rin siya binubully dahil bukod sa akin, palagi ring nandiyan si Seth para proteksyonan siya. To be honest, they looks much alike to each other.

Napakurap ako. Naalala ko bigla ang kapatid kong lalaki. I suddenly felt this guilty on my chest. Napalunok ako at napiling. Seth, I'm so sorry. One day, you'll know everything.

I shrugged off my shoulder and was about to go back in the room when I heard a commotion outside. Boses iyon ng mga kaklase kong lalaki.

Unconsciously, I walked towards it and my eyes grew bigger when I saw Siria Laurel. She's my idol! She walked towards the senior high building with her chin up, cold yet full of confidence eyes that would probably sends you chills when you meet those amber deadly lens. She rose her head up, and her brows shot up when our eyes met. Namula naman ako.

Napangingiting bumalik ako sa classroom at nagscroll nalang sa sss. Not long after, the professor took his schedule and taught us lessons.

Nang hapon na ay pinuntahan ko ang classroom ni Quinn at nakita ko siyang may kausap na classmates niya rin. Her smiles were priceless, ang ganda ng mga ngiti niya habang nakikipagkwentohan roon.

Her classmtes pointed Eleazar and I's direction and she looked at us, wide eyes.

Ngumiti ako, naka akbay naman sa akin si Ele.

She shyly smiled and faced us. "Uhm... bakit po, ate... uh... k-kuya?"

"Tapos na ba ang klase niyo?" nakangiti kong tanong.

She looked at her back and nodded. "Ah, oo, kakatapos lang. I was actually going home na rin pero nakipag usap sila sa akin."

It makes me happy. "Talaga?"

Nahihiyang tumango siya. "Yes..."

"Oh, well, that's good for you. Sige na, mauna na kami. We just stopped by to check on you." I kissed her cheek and was about to walked away when she stopped us saying she'll come.

Pumayag ako at hinintay namin siya ni Ele. While waiting, I heard him said. "She's so cute."

I looked at him and smiled sweetly. "She is."

"And pretty," he added, eyes glistening on emotions I couldn't name.

"Hmm..." I hummed and tiptoed to kiss his cheek.

Nang dumating na si Quinn ay sabay kaming tatlong naglakad palabas ng campus.

"How was your class, Quinn?" tanong ni Ele dito.

"Uh... okay lang naman."

"Hindi ka ba nila inaaway?" he asked, jaw clenching again.

She slightly shook her head. "Not anymore."

"Good to hear. Kapag uulit iyan sila, ako na ang makakalaban nila." he said with conviction kaya natawa ako. "At kung nahihirapan ka sa mga subjects mo, you can lean on us, okay?"

Quinn's face turned bright red as she nodded shyly, hiding a smile.

Nakalabas na kami ng campus ay natatawa pa rin ako, pati si Ele rin ay natatawa dahil sa pamumula ni Quinn. Eleazar kissed me on my temple, cheeks and a peck on my lips kaya ako naman ang namula. Kinurot ko siya sa tagiliran at natatawa naman siyang lumayo at itinaas ang dalawang kamay.

"Hindi na, mahal! Awat na, lodicakes!" he burst out laughing.

"Eleazar! Nakakahiya ka talaga!" I stomped my feet. Inabot ko siya at sinapak ng mahina sa braso.

"Mahal naman, huwag dito. Naghihintay ang mga bata sa bahay. Hinahanap na nila ang Inang Araw nila." he grinned at wiggled his brows.

Namula akong lalo. Napadyak ako at ngumuso. "Ele!"

"Hindi na, hindi na." he was smiling from ear to ear. Kinabig niya ako at niyakap. Napasandal naman ang ulo ko sa kaniyang matigas na dibdib.

"Hmp!"

He chuckled. Nang humiwalay kami sa isa't-isa ay nahuli kong natulala si Quinn. I smiled apologetically. Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad habang magkahawak kamay kami ni Ele.

"Dad, you're here na pala!" I heard Quinn said.

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan. I felt a sudden lump on my throat. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Like a prey who just caught off guard by its predator. Like how the sun and moon meet each other, rarely but priceless, like a glass scattered into a tiny pieces, my heart throbbed painfully.

"Baby, how was your class?" He was looking at our direction, smiling.

It was as if my world stopped from beating when I saw how his eyes scintillate with love, gentleness, and fatherly together with his smile while looking at Quinn.

For the first time since I knew his existence, I got to see that. I got to see how proud and happy he is while looking at his own flesh and blood.

With a huge smile on his face and sparkling eyes, he looks at his daughter.

"Dad..." I murmured as I felt my tears on the side of my lips. My biological father was in front of me.

But to my disappointment, his eyes wasn't fixed on mine... but to the girl beside me. His daughter. I felt a loud bang in my chest. That... sucks.

My chest tightened even more as I imagined myself being Quinn. Being her... How does it feels like? How does it feel to hug your own father, huh?

My eyes swelled up with tears, I blinked my eyes to keep my tears at bay and excused myself out from Eleazar's grip until I found myself sitting down under the mahogany tree.

Alone.

Self-pitying, I cried silently.

I pity myself to experience rejection from my own father. I felt like I am the most sympathetic girl living with her fake smiles and laughs. Helios, my father, dislikes my existence. Ni hindi nga niya ako napansin kanina nang tinawag niya si Quinn eh.

I know being friends with my half sister, Quinn, will brings nothing but misery for me. Everyday, kinukuwento niya sa akin kung gaano sila kasaya ng pamilya niya. At sa bawat oras na sinasabi niya iyon, hindi ko mapigilang magselos at maawa sa aking sarili. Quinn said our father was a loving father, but I doubt that. 'Cause... why can't he accept me?

Mas lalo akong naiyak at sinubsob ang mukha sa aking magkadikit na tuhod.

"At bakit umiiyak ngayon ang masungit na araw?" isang baritonong boses ang aking narinig at kasunod nito ay ang pamilyar na pabango at natural na amoy nito sa katawan.

I stilled. Nag-angat ako nang tingin at napalunok nang makita ang isang pamilyar na mukha.

"Bakit, hmm?" namumungay ang matang saad nito. He was squatting on the ground in front of me wearing their college uniform.

"Icarus..." I whispered.

He smiled at me. His hazel brown eyes were so gentle as he lifted his hands to wipe my tears.