Illicit Love

Chapter 7: She Is The Hell Itself

CHARLES

PAAAAK!

I felt a stinging pain in my cheeks as my headache flared. The maid being fired was a good thing, after all, she didn't get to see another traumatizing scene. I'm jealous, I also don't want to see another. I had enough already.

"How dare you!" sigaw ni Camille na nagmumula sa galit.

"You left me alone and then you shouted at me as if I did something wrong? I mean, did I really do something wrong? Huh?" she sighs in frustration and continues, "Was that wrong for me to defend myself to that b***h? She deserves to be hurt! Acting like a b***h! Did you even hear what she said to me, about us? Ughhh!" Hinila-hila niya ang buhok niya, while clenching her fist so hard that I could see blood on both of her palms. She's acting weird again.

And here I am again, watching someone hurt my sister. How did I even defend her earlier?

"And how dare you? You didn't even defend me from that b***h! Inuna mo pa kapatid mo eh siya naman yung may kasalanan ng lahat! You ask her about her wound when it's not even that deep and deadly but you didn't even ask me if I have scratches on me if I'm hurt! Just to remind you, I. am. your. wife! I should be first on your everything!" she shouted while pointing at me.

I looked around and as expected there were already a few people in the audience. They were already expecting this to happen like how I was. I can see their mouths moving but I can't hear a thing, but it was obvious that they were talking about us. Napansin yata nila na nakatingin ako sa kanila kaya ang iba ay nag-iwas ng tingin, ang iba ay tumalikod at ang iba ay umalis.

Gustong-gusto ng pumikit ng mga mata ko. So much has happened today. The dinner, the bar and this. I looked at my watch and it's already 5 o'clock. I really didn't get to sleep. I want to rest like a dead person, never waking up again.

I didn't mind the stinging pain on my cheeks, but the pain on my head seems to not mind me too. Massaging won't be helping me again tonight. I sighed and calmed myself down, and looked at her calmly. I just want this to be over. I don't want to spend another second with her. She is hell itself.

"Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay? I'm tired," mahinahon kong sabi sa kanya.

I took her hand and I forced her to go inside the house. I don't want another talk about us in the whole neighbourhood. They have already written a whole book about us. So detailed too, I was not even surprised that what happened to us is already spreading in another neighbourhood too.

"Wha-What are you doing?" she asked, looking at my hands holding hers, frustrated.

Palipat lipat ang tingin niya sa akin at sa kamay ko na nakahawak sa kamay niya. She looks at me in disbelief. Tumawa ito ng pasarkastiko at kinuha ang kamay niya sa kamay ko at sinampal uli ako.

PAAAAK!

I felt a vibration on my face, the slap was much stronger than before. I sighed in frustration as I massage my temples, trying to massage away the headache.

“Touching me like that again won't be helping you this time,” she said.

"Camille, please stop. Let's do this tomorrow. I'm so tired. Please," I said, still massaging my temples, but the headache is not going away.

"No! NO! NO! I want to talk about this right now! Ikaw naman ang problema 'e, if you will only accept, there would be no problem right now! We've been together for years already, why can't you just accept me? LOVE ME! JUST LOVE ME! ACCEPT ME! There's nothing you can do but to accept me, it's the only choice you have as a Gilvero. W-Why can't you just do what I told you?" she shouted angrily, her eyes red in anger.

"This marriage wasn't supposed to happen, napilit lang naman ako, Camille. You beg for this marriage but If you're not happy with me then let's just stop this. Let's file an annulment," seryoso kong sabi sa kanya.

Nanlaki uli ang mata nito, hindi makapaniwala sa narinig. She raised her hand and slapped me again. Even though I could stop it I was so tired to even do so.

PAAAAK!

Napapikit na lang ako sa sakit, I'm not dumb to the pain yet. How much pain do I have to feel to be dumb of pain? Is it because of the headache that I'm getting the nerve to say that to her? Or is it because of the headache that I'm losing my mind and can't think of the consequences of my words? Did I forget that everything I said has consequences when it comes to this family? F*ck!

"WHY? WHY? WHY? JUST WHY?" she shouted and shouted. Her eyes almost popped out of anger. Ginulo niya ang buhok niya at tumingin sa akin. A tear fell out of her eyes but her eyes didn't look sad at all. She was staring at me, crying, with an empty expression.

I've seen this expression before, on our honeymoon.

I felt the world spinning and the headache was getting worse and worse. Mas diniin ko ang paghilot ko sa noo ko.

"I can't, okay? Let's talk about this tomorrow," I said calmly as I could, at nagsimulang maglakad.

"CHARLES!"

Napangiwi ako sa sakit ng ulo ko. Nagpatuloy ako sa pag-akyat habang minamasahe pa rin ang ulo ko. Hindi niya ako sinundan na pinagtaka ko.

"CHARLES! WE'RE NOT DONE YET,"

I sigh again and calm myself down. I turned around and looked at her calmly.

I clenched my fist, trying to ease the pain from my head and at the same time trying to control my anger, but it was to no avail. My head was spinning, anger welled in my chest.

"F*CK! STOP, OKAY? I'M F*CKING TIRED! FROM YOU! FROM EVERYTHING!" I shouted at her. Huli na ng na realize ko ang ginawa ko. F*ck.

With a f*cking pain on my head that I wish will just kill me at this very moment, lumapit ako sa kanyang, to try and undo what I just did.

I sighed and forced a big smile. Bumaba ako sa hagdan at nilapitan siya. I reach for her and gently touch her with the back of my hand while trying not to close my eyes because of the pain in my head. It was getting worse and worse. I think I'm gonna pass out any moment.

Camille looked at me with her eyes widened. Itinangal niya ang kamay ko sa mukha niya, before slapping me again.

PAAAAK!

As I felt the slap on my cheek, the pain on my head spiked up. As soon as I was forced to close my eyes because of the pain I forced myself to open them. Camille's face blurred, the whole world was spinning. I want to close my eyes again.

"You're cursing at me? Your wife? WELL, I AM TIRED TOO! And how can you be so tired you didn't do anything! I have it worse than you! Kung hindi dahil sa akin, you won't have a life right now!" she shouted, redder than she was before. Her eyes in tears she looked at me with mixed emotions.

"YOU'RE SELFISH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL! THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE!" she shouted and she smashed two vases that were beside her with branches of Begonia in them. The sound of the vases being smashed was making my headache worse.

I feel something hit my cheeks, as I was feeling the pain from it, I feel something liquid falling from my cheeks. I wiped it using my hand, napatingin ako sa kamay ko na may pulang likido na. It was blood.

She looked around trying to find vases to break but all of them were already broken from the fight earlier with Ate.

She looked at the aquarium that was beside her and was about to smash it when I stopped her.

"Stop. Okay? Tama na," pagmamakaawa ko sa kanya habang mahigpit nakahawak sa balikat niya para pigilan siya, she pushed me and free herself from me.

"I'll tell Mom and Dad about this!" she shouted pointing at me and slapped me again.

PAAAAK!

Napangiwi ako. Sinampal niya ako sa pisngi kong dumudugo. The slap was definitely weaker than all of the slaps I received. Is it because she doesn't know or does she know but wants me to feel more pain because she's tired? What about me then? Ganun na ba ako kagaling magtago ng emosyon na pati ang mga emosyon na hindi ko gustong itago ay natatago ko na?

Tinignan ko lang siya na tumakbo sa taas. I sighed in defeat. I'm so beaten up that I can't even be worried about her threatening me. I'm sure, na gagawin niya na iyon. I should prepare my body for another beating. More brutal than this one, huh?

Break!

Naglakad ako para umupo sa sofa nang may naapakan ako. It was a shard of glass, the pointy part was buried deep in my shoes. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng hindi ito umabot sa paa ko. I gently removed it from my shoes but blood was flowing from my finger where I touched the glass. Napangiwi ako. F*cking dumb!

I finally got to look around the house. The paintings on the walls are about to fall, while the ground was strewn with the broken porcelain mixed with remains of flowers.

Yumuko ako at nakitang nasa sahig na ang wedding picture namin ni Camille. I feel like stamping on it. Napangisi ako at napa-iling. Kinuha ko ito at sinabit sa dingding.

I wasn't even shocked about what happened. I don't know what to feel about this familiar scenario. This is not the first time and will not be the last time. This is also the reason why I want to get the hell out of this hell.

I sat down prostrate on the ground and I let out a silent growl of annoyance.

"F*ck."

Yes, this wasn't the first this happened, but when can this end? WHEN?

I chuckled, the pain in my head and the throbbing pain in my cheeks flushed hard and hot. I wiped the blood that keeps flowing on my cheeks, and stood up and cleaned up the mess.

I picked up the pieces with my hands, careless of the gashes. I didn't feel anything, I was dumb of everything.

Should I just run away? I could make some money from the bank for myself and ran away where no one could find me. I could find my own paradise myself. Should I just do that? As I was smiling dumbly about my thoughts I remember Ate Yvonne.

Am I too selfish that when I think of Ate Yvonne I still feel like running away?

Pagod, humiga ako sa sahig. I feel something sharp hitting my back, but I'm so tired I didn't even feel anything. I want to rest. Let me rest, I'll clean all this when I have my nap.

"You heard that?"

"The husband didn't die, did he?"

"Aksidente na naman ba?"

"Kaya nga!"

"Awang-awa na ako sa kanya. Bruha kasi yung p*ta!"

"Shhh! Hinaan niyo nga, mga bruhang 'to!"

"Ma, si Papa, hinanap ka na uy—teka, ano meron—hala!"

“Quit nga! Mga p*ta naman to oh!”

I could hear all of you loud and clear. Is this what our neighbour considers as whispering? Haaah… I could still hear them even when I'm inside. Did I not close the door?

“Waaaaahhhh!” There's even a baby?

The headache was getting intense. I know that anytime now, I will be closing my eyes, but I won't know if it will be because of tiredness or me losing my consciousness.

The neighbourhood whispering was gradually receding. The light from the chandelier blurred as I felt tears falling down and as I closed my eyes. The light from my eyes disappeared. It was filled with darkness. Why is it looking beautiful now? Please, let me rest now.