Miss Perfectly Imperfect

COMFTCOVE

Shane's POV

Medyo tumigil ng bahagya ang pagtibok ng aking puso, remembering how naïve I used to be. Pumikit ako at dinama ito. Muli akong nag-angat ng talukap.

As far as I can remember, isang simpleng bar lang ito noon. How did it become one of the most expensive places in the city?

Ngunit paano nga ba ako minsang napadpad sa lugar na ito?

FLASHBACK…

The crowd was a blur—loud, sweaty, electric. Pero sa gitna ng lahat ng 'yon, sumasayaw ako na parang akin ang gabi. Kasama si Lou, ang aking BFF, tuluyan naming niyakap ang sensual na tugtugin. A bit tipsy from the liquor slowly creeping into our system.

With eyes closed, I let the music take over. I didn’t need to see to know they were watching. I could feel it—the weight of their stares, the silent calculations behind every pair of eyes. But I didn’t care. I didn’t owe anyone anything tonight. Not my story. Not my smile. Not even a second look.

My hips swayed to the beat, fluid and deliberate. I danced not for anyone but for myself. The bass pulsed through my spine like a second heartbeat. This was my element—my release, my rebellion. Then I felt it—that stare.

Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko sandali at tumama ang tingin ko sa kanya. Tall, serious, and still, like he didn’t belong in a place like this—and yet, somehow, he did. His gaze met mine, sharp and focused, like I was the only person in the room. Hindi ko agad inalis ang tingin. Pinatagal ko pa ng kaunti, just enough for him to feel it.

Then I turned back to the music.

I can barely remember how many guys tried to dance with us. Lou even entertained one. Ako rin naman, actually. But I brushed off a few—especially those who got too close.

Even through the haze of lights, I still felt his gaze—matatalim, tahimik, pero ramdam mo. It was more intense than usual, sharp enough to send a shiver down my spine. Tumibok ng mabilis ang aking puso. Every beat echoed the tension between us, amplifying the unspoken words hanging in the air. Isang pakiramdam na kailanman ay hindi ko naranasan kay Carl.

Huminga ako nang malalim, trying to steady myself as my curiosity grew. There was something about him—something dangerous, something magnetic.

At dahil siguro sa sobrang gulo ng isip ko, ayun—nakapakan ko 'yung isang lalake. Muntik pa akong matapilok. Mabilis akong napalingon, ready to say sorry. Nainis siya at first, but his expression shifted the moment he saw my face. “Okay lang ‘yon,” he said with a grin. As always, my pretty face saved the night.

He was friendly at first. Pero habang tumatagal, nag-iiba ang mga tingin niya. Mas tumatagal, mas nagiging personal. It was no longer just amusement—parang may gusto siyang patunayan. His vibe shifted—light turned calculated, almost entitled. Like he thought he had a chance.

Habang sinusubukan kong magkunwaring chill lang, hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin ulit sa kanya—oo, 'yung una. Kanina pa rin siya nakatitig. Mas lalong lumalim ang tensyon. At ako? Nasa gitna. Gulo-gulo na naman ang gabi.

I needed to breathe. “Restroom muna,” bulong ko kay Lou, sabay kumpas ng kamay. Tumango lang siya, still engaging with the guy in front of her.

Mabilis akong lumakad palayo, hiding the weight in my chest. The restroom was just down the corridor—a dimly lit hallway. Hanggang sa narinig ko ‘yon—mga yapak sa likod ko. Hindi ako lumingon. Hindi nagpahalata. Pero ramdam ng katawan ko—may sumusunod. May intensyon. And in places like this, silence was the scariest part. I gripped my phone inside my clutch, thumb ready on the screen. Just in case.

Pero bago pa ako makalayo, may biglang pumasok na bouncer sa hallway. Alert, sharp-eyed. He glanced behind me, then walked straight past. Walang sinabi, pero alam kong nakita niya ang dapat niyang makita.

I kept walking like nothing happened. Blank pa rin ang expression ko, but my heart was pounding.

I reached the restroom, locked the door, and exhaled. Safe. For now. But who sent him? Or maybe he just saw what needed to be seen. His job, after all.

Tumingin ako sa salamin. Medyo hulas na 'yung lipstick ko, but still presentable. I ran my fingers through my hair, calming myself down. Tahimik. Ako lang mag-isa. Muli akong huminga nang malalim. For a moment, I was in a different world—malayo sa ingay, sa music, sa tensyon sa dance floor.

I splashed cold water on my wrists, hoping it would help. Pero kahit malamig, hindi nawala 'yung init sa dibdib ko. It wasn’t the music or the liquor. Iba 'to. Too much. Too fast. Maybe it’s safer at the hotel. Mas mabuti sigurong bumalik na ako roon.

Paglabas ko ng restroom, nakita ko agad si Lou. She was off the dance floor now, sitting at a high table, a glass in hand, clearly enjoying herself. She was laughing, carefree. Ayoko na sanang guluhin, pero kailangan kong magpaalam.

Lumapit ako at bahagyang yumuko sa kanya. “Sai, labas na muna ako ha,” bulong ko. Nagulat siya nang kaunti, but quickly nodded.

“Okay ka lang?” tanong niya, eyes scanning my face.

I gave her a small smile. “Oo naman! Pahangin lang ako sa labas.”

“Sigurado ka?”

“Lagi. I just need some fresh air. Text nalang kita kapag nasa hotel na ako.”

“Uuwi ka na?”

“Yeah. And you don’t have to follow—just enjoy the night. Deserve mo ’yon.”

She nodded and gave my hand a quick squeeze. “Ingat ka, ha.”

Tumango ako at lumakad na papalayo. Sa labas, sinalubong ako ng malamig na hangin. Huminga ako nang malalim, letting the chill wrap around me. I didn’t know if he saw me leave. I didn't saw him either. I actually didn’t care—well, maybe a little. Pero alam kong mali. Mali na iniisip ko siya. Mali na nakakaramdam ako ng ganito para sa isang estranghero—or sa kahit na sinong lalake. Because I’m already committed. Because I already have Carl.

Naglakad ako, hindi alintana kung saan ako dadalhin ng mga paa ko. Gusto ko lang makalayo, kahit saglit, sa lahat ng gumugulo sa isip ko. Sa mga tanong. Sa mga alaala. Sa sarili kong mga pagtatanggi.

Nararamdaman ko ang malamig na dampi ng hangin sa aking balat, tila sinusubukang palamigin ang nagliliyab kong kalooban. I pulled my jacket tighter around me, but it wasn’t the cold I was guarding against.

I turned a corner and looked up. The skyline of the city towered above me—ang mga gusali, naglalakihan, tila gustong lamunin ang kalangitan. Ang mga ilaw, kumikislap sa bawat bintana, parang mga matang nanonood sa bawat galaw ko.

Panandlian akong nalibang sa pagmamasid sa isang modernong siyudad na tila hindi natutulog. Ibang-iba sa aking nakasanayan.

Hanggang sa napadpad ako sa tapat ng isang bar. Hindi kasing ingay ng nauna. Mas simple. Mas tahimik. Mas... ako. Binasa ko ang pangalan na COMFTCOVE. Hmmm... Pangalan pa lang ay tila nag-aanyaya na sa aking pumasok sa loob. Tumigil ako sa pintuan, saglit na nagdalawang-isip. Should I go in? Hanggang sa may kung anong force ang tuluyang humila sa akin.

Pinihit ko ang door handle at dahan-dahang pumasok. A faint scent of wood, liquor, and jazz welcomed me. Dim lights, low conversation, soft music. A stark contrast from the chaos earlier. Tumama ang init ng ilaw sa mukha ko, at sa sandaling iyon, pakiramdam ko bumalik ako sa sarili.

Pakiramdam ko ay nakabalik na ako sa lugar namin. Same ambiance, same vibe. My go to Bar. The kind that I would love to spend some of my chill nights. I immediately headed to the bar and asked for a Cosmo. The bartender nod and smiled as if he already knew what I'd order. Clearly, this is my place, for now.

I sip the drink and scanned the place—and there he was. Yong taong naging dahilan kung bakit ako distracted kanina. Yong lalakeng halos lamunin ako ng tingin. Bakit siya nandito?

Nasa dulo siya ng bar. Tahimik. Nakaupo. Hawak ang isang baso na tila ba hindi pa nababawasan. His posture was relaxed, but his eyes—sharp, alert—parang kanina pa ako pinagmamasdan.

My breath caught in my throat.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong lumingon o umalis. Pero huli na. Napansin na niya ako. Kumurap-kurap ako. Gathering some senses. Then I tilted my head, just a little. Tapos ngumiti ako—'yong pamilyar na ngiti. The kind that says I remember you… and everything you didn’t say.

It wouldn't hurt to say hi. Naisip ko. Ginulo niya na rin lang ang aking katahimikan, might as well, get to know him better. I smiled and walk towards his direction. Matanong lang kung bakit ganon siya makatitig.

He froze for a while. Hindi sigurado kung kakaway, ngingiti, o magpapanggap na hindi ako nakita.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” sabi ko habang umuupo sa katabing stool. Sakto lang ang distansya—hindi masyadong malapit, pero sapat para maramdaman niya 'yong presensya ko.

“I didn’t expect to be here either,” sagot niya.

“Sinusundan mo ba ako?” biro ko, kalahating totoo.

“No,” he said. “But maybe I would’ve, if I knew where you were headed.”

Napatawa ako. Hindi malakas, pero sapat para maramdaman sa pagitan naming dalawa. Tahimik na tumambay ang tawa sa hangin. At habang tinititigan ko siya sa ilalim ng malambot na ilaw ng bar, mas naaaninag ko ang kanyang mukha. May lalim. May pagod. May misteryo.

I stared at his face. Matatapang ang mga mata ngunit may kakaibang lungkot. Matangos ang ilong, manipis ang mga labi at may konting sumisilay na bigote. With perfectly defined jawline na bahagyang natatakpan ng mahaba niyang buhok. Parang modelo sa mga magazines na binabasa ko.

“Then let’s make it worth forgetting.” Isang linyang tumatak sa aking isipan.

At gaya ng isang eksena sa pelikula, nandoon lang kami—dalawang estrangherong parehong may dalang lihim, binubuksan ang isang gabing parehong ayaw alalahanin kinabukasan.

I didn’t know what had gotten into me… pero hindi ko na rin pinigilan.

I gave in. To the way his fingers brushed against mine, soft but certain. To the way his eyes held mine—quiet, searching, as if asking for permission but also daring me to say yes. I gave in to his touch. To the heat of his palm on my waist.

To the weight of the moment na parang sinasabi ng katawan ko na, “Kalimutan mo na muna lahat."

And when he kissed me… Warm. Mabagal. Walang pagmamadali. Parang tinatanggal niya lahat ng tanong sa isip ko.

Parang sinasabi niyang kahit ngayong gabi lang, pwede akong makalimot. Hindi siya demanding. Wala siyang sinabi.

But every little gesture felt like an invitation. And for once, I stopped thinking.

I let go of all the noise—lahat ng ingay sa loob ng utak ko. I let the silence between our breaths take over.

I let the night swallow us whole. Just this once.

He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, tracing invisible lines with his mouth as if memorizing my skin. Each touch felt like a secret.

Each sigh between us, a surrender. Hinayaan ko siya. Hinayaan ko siyang hawakan ako na parang marupok akong bagay. Na parang kahit ilang segundo lang—ako ang pinili niyang ingatan.

And I held him, too. For warmth. For safety. Until loud moan escapes from my mouth. I felt the pain when he pushed his manhood inside me. May kung anong bagay sa looban ko ang nasira. But somehow I felt peace.

A strange kind of peace. A sense of contentment. Not because it was perfect. But because it was mine. A choice I made. In that moment, for once… I was not pleasing anyone but myself.

I held on tighter. To him. To the memory. To the version of me who chose to surrender. And even though I knew this night would end, may parte sa akin na alam—hindi ko na siya malilimutan.

Nagising ako sa tunog ng phone ko.

Sumisigaw ang screen ng notifications—ilang sunod-sunod na messages mula kay Lou.

Lou:

Sai, asan ka na?

I thought mauuna kang bumalik ng hotel, bat wala ka pa dito?

It’s been hours since I arrived.

Asa naka hoi?

Niuli naka ug Butuan?

Or basin nakidnap naka.

Mapatay jud ko sa imong Dada ani. 😭

Napasinghap ako habang binabasa isa-isa. Napaupo ako sa kama, pilit iniintindi ang lahat—pero ang katawan ko’y mabigat, parang ayaw pang gumalaw. Nilingon ko ang kama na nasa aking tabi. There he is, peacefully sleeping.

Kumakalam ang aking sikmura, pero hindi dahil sa gutom. May bahid pa rin ng dugo sa kumot. May tanong sa hangin.

At may bigat sa dibdib ko na hindi ko pa kayang pangalanan. Hawak ko pa rin ang phone habang nagta-type ng reply. Pero ilang ulit ko itong binura. Anong isasagot ko?

“Sorry Lou, nakitulog ako sa isang estranghero na hindi ko kilala.”

“Sorry Lou, I think I lost more than my virginity last night.”

Huminga ako nang malalim. Pinilit kong i-compose ang sarili. Kahit papaano.

I typed back:

On my way. Wait for me sa lobby.

Don’t tell Dada anything. Please.

I turn to the man whom I spend the night with. Mahimbing parin siyang natutulog.

Dahan-dahan akong bumangon mula sa kama, iniwasang gumawa ng kahit anong ingay. Kinuha ko ang aking mga damit, binalot ang sarili sa jacket — ‘yung ginamit ko rin kagabi, parang panangga sa lahat ng hindi ko kayang harapin.

Tumayo ako sa tabi ng kama at tumingin sa kanya. Maaliwalas ang mukha niya habang natutulog. Tahimik. Hindi ko alam ang pangalan niya. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya galing o kung saan siya patungo. Pero kahit sandali lang… naging ligtas ako sa piling niya.

“Thank you,” mahina kong bulong, kahit alam kong hindi niya maririnig.

Hindi ko na siya ginising. Wala na rin namang dapat sabihin.I turned around, took one last look, and walked toward the door.

Hawak ko na ang door knob nang huminga ulit ako nang malalim. Then I stepped out — dala ang katahimikan ng isang gabing hindi kailanman mauulit.