Miss Perfectly Imperfect

THE BAR

Gavin arrived at the bar earlier than expected.

Wala pa sina Andrew at Xander pagdating niya doon. The place was quieter than usual for a Friday night—no loud music, no shouting crowds. Just the low hum of conversations blending with the soft clinking of glasses behind the counter. It wasn’t dead, just… calm. Too calm, almost, but then again, it was still early for things to get wild.

He headed straight to the lounge, the same corner they’d always claimed whenever they came here. Tucked away near the side, the spot offered a little privacy without completely isolating them from the crowd—a vantage point with the perfect view of the entire room.

The lighting was warm, flattering, familiar. Shadows danced lazily on the walls as the soft amber glow washed over the plush couches.

Gavin sank into his favorite spot, leaning back against the cushions. He reached up to loosen the first two buttons of his collar, letting his skin breathe. Ramdam pa rin niya ang init mula sa labas, kahit na gabi na.

From across the bar, the bartender gave him a brief nod of acknowledgment. They knew his drink by heart. Gavin responded with a slight tilt of his chin—no need for words.

Pulling out his phone, he checked for messages, half-expecting a text from Andrew or Xander. There was nothing. Not from them. Not from work. Not even from anyone in his endless stream of notifications. For once, the world was quiet.

He should’ve appreciated it. But instead, the silence just gave his thoughts more room to wander—straight back to the argument with Tita Agnes, the looming trip to Butuan, and, inevitably, Shane.

He sighed and set his phone down on the table, rubbing the back of his neck. The bar wasn’t helping. Not yet, anyway.

Gavin leaned back against the couch, eyes drifting shut for a brief moment as the soft hum of music and distant chatter faded into the background. But even in the quiet, his mind refused to settle.

She came back.

Not in person—God, no—but in memory. Again.

The girl from years ago. The same one from the masquerade ball.

That night had long passed, and yet it lingered like a phantom. He could still see her clearly—her face half-hidden behind an ornate black mask, the shimmer of candlelight reflecting in her eyes. Eyes that locked with his across the ballroom, the same way they had before, as if drawn by an invisible thread.

Everything else had faded in that moment—the music, the laughter, the sea of faceless strangers. He couldn’t even remember what song was playing. What stayed with him was the weight of her gaze. Heavy. Strange. Inexplicably real.

He never got her name. Never saw her again. And yet, she stuck. Like a loose thread he never got to pull.

That night, he’d told his father something he still remembered word for word: “Since nakapagdesisyon na po kayo, then I guess I’ll probably start looking for a few good reasons to stay. Magkaron man lang ako ng drive to work.” Those were the exact words he muttered before walking away, before he turned his back on another argument he wished he could win.

At the time, it was half-meant, half-defiance. All Gavin had wanted was for his father to pause—to reconsider his decision, to give him the freedom to choose his own path. To let him stay, not because of his duty, but because he wanted to.

But fate had its own way of mocking him.

The universe, in its cruel and quiet humor, gave him exactly what he asked for—a reason to stay. One he hadn’t prepared for, one he hadn’t even known he was waiting for.

He chose to remain in the country, diving into the business world while silently searching for the girl who’d somehow managed to haunt him.

It took nearly two years to move on—or at least, to try. Those first two years were brutal. There were days he wanted to leave it all behind, to walk away without warning. But the memory of her—the promise of maybe finding her again—kept him going. She became his silent fuel, his private compass.

He went back to that place countless times, hoping for a glimpse, a sign, anything. But there was nothing. No trace of her. Not even a whisper.

And then, one day, he simply… let go.

He surrendered it all to the universe, the same way it had brought her to him once—unexpectedly.

That was when he finally chose to stay. This time, for good.

From there, better days followed. With time, he found new reasons to stay—more and more with each passing day. Slowly, he learned to accept that maybe her role in his life had ended the moment she walked away. Or maybe, she was never meant to stay at all.

Maybe she had only ever been an instrument—a fleeting spark meant to awaken something in him. To guide him to where he rightfully belonged.

And somehow, that made it easier to breathe.

Until he saw her again.

Or at least… he thought he did.

People would probably say it was nothing. That maybe he imagined the whole thing, turning a fleeting encounter into something far bigger than it really was. But if that were true, why couldn’t he get her out of his head?

Gavin’s heart believed he had seen her again.

Sure, his eyes could’ve been wrong. Maybe he was just chasing ghosts, convincing himself of things that didn’t exist. But the one thing he couldn’t fool was his own heart.

Because the moment he caught a glimpse of her—that familiar tilt of her head, the fluidity of her movements, the way her gaze brushed past him—his chest tightened. Hard. As if his body remembered something his mind couldn’t explain.

He told himself it was a coincidence. A trick of the light. A figment of memory. But deep down, he knew better.

He may have forgotten the exact sound of her voice. He may not recall every detail of her face beneath that ornate mask from years ago. But his heart remembered. And his heart didn’t forget easily.

A long breath escaped his lips. He shook his head as if to clear it and opened his eyes, only to notice the glass resting on the table in front of him—his usual drink, set down by the bartender while he was lost in thought. Gavin raised it in a half-hearted toast to himself before taking a slow sip, letting the familiar burn crawl down his throat.

Come on, Gavin. Get it together.

“She was just a stranger,” he told himself silently. A beautiful, mysterious stranger. Nothing more.

But even as he tried to reduce her to a passing memory—a night blurred by music, lights, and alcohol—something inside him refused to let go. She lingered, like an unfinished sentence. A melody that never reached its final note.

There had been… something about her. Something he couldn’t name, couldn’t explain.

She hadn’t needed to speak much. Just one look, and it was as though she’d seen right through him—to the parts he didn’t show anyone. She looked at him like he was someone worth unraveling.

And then, she disappeared.

No name. No goodbye. Just a tiny black hair tie he’d once kept hidden away, and the memory of a smile that never quite reached her eyes.

He’d searched for her for months. Went back to the hotel, returned to the bar where they’d first crossed paths—hoping, praying, waiting for another chance encounter. But nothing.

Eventually, he stopped.

Or at least… he told himself he did.

Maybe, deep down, it wasn’t really her he’d been chasing all this time, but the version of himself she made him believe he could be.

Gavin took another sip, closing his eyes against the slow burn, willing himself back into the present. He exhaled sharply, setting the glass down on the table.

And just as he was about to pull himself free from the grip of that memory…

The door opened.

But it wasn’t her.

Just Andrew—loud as ever—followed by Xander, calm and composed as usual.

“Ayos, maaga si Boss ngayon ah!” Andrew grinned as soon as he spotted Gavin. He strolled over with that usual swagger, carrying his coat over one shoulder like some lead actor in a primetime soap. “May birthday? Ba’t ang aga mo?”

Gavin smirked faintly, as if trying to shake off the remnants of memory still clinging to his chest. “Napilitan lang. Kasi may nagsabi sa’kin na agahan ko raw,” he replied, voice low and smooth.

Andrew chuckled, dropping into the seat beside him. “Traffic was hell migs. Akala namin nasa office ka pa.”

“Akala ko rin,” Gavin muttered, raising his glass before taking a slow sip. “But here I am.”

Xander waved at the bartender, ordering their usual drinks with just a gesture. “Kita mo ‘to si Gav?” he said, his tone dry but amused. “Dati rati pinipilit pa naming lumabas ‘to. Subsob sa trabaho. Ngayon, nauna pa sa’min.”

“Maybe I’m changing,” Gavin replied, leaning back against the couch, his tone deceptively casual.

“Or maybe,” Andrew cut in, giving him a sly, knowing look, “you just needed the right reason to keep showing up.”

Gavin’s brows knitted for a split second, but he didn’t bite. Instead, he let out a low exhale, letting their voices wash over him—their laughter, their teasing, the familiar comfort of their routine.

“Changing, huh?” Xander raised a brow as the bartender placed his glass in front of him. He swirled the drink slowly before taking a measured sip. “You? Gavin Villalobo? The man allergic to social events unless may kinalaman sa trabaho?”

Andrew snorted and leaned forward on his elbows. “Don’t act surprised, Xands. Gav’s been weird lately.”

Gavin shot him a look over the rim of his glass. “Define weird.”

“Not bad-weird,” Andrew clarified quickly, though the playful smirk on his lips didn’t fade. “Just… different. Tahimik ka raw sa mga meetings.”

“Wow,” Gavin said flatly, lowering his glass. “At saan mo naman nakuha ang balitang ‘yon?”

Andrew shrugged, feigning innocence. “People talk.”

“What he’s trying to say,” Xander interjected calmly, “is that you’ve mellowed out. You’re less… sharp lately. Mas grounded, maybe. Mas tahimik.”

Andrew leaned back and crossed his arms, tilting his head with mock seriousness. “Or,” he said, drawing out the pause, “mas malalim.”

Gavin didn’t answer right away. He traced the rim of his glass with a finger, eyes drifting to the soft amber glow of the lights above. For a heartbeat, the noise around him dulled, and her masked face—the girl from the past—flashed briefly in his mind.

He forced himself to blink it away.

“I guess,” Gavin finally said, his voice even but distant, “I just have more on my mind these days.”

Andrew’s brows shot up, grin widening. “Talaga!” he said, dragging the sound out. “So tell us about it.”

“Andrew,” Xander warned in his usual calm tone, but it had no effect.

Andrew only leaned in closer, resting an arm on the back of Gavin’s seat, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Don’t play dumb with me, Migs. May tinatago ka parin, I can smell it. Spill.”

Gavin chuckled under his breath, low and humorless, shaking his head. “You’ve had one drink and you’re already imagining things.”

“Exactly,” Andrew fired back, grinning wider. “One drink pa lang ‘yan, Migs. Wait ‘til I hit three.”

Xander sighed, rubbing his temple, while Gavin tipped his glass back for another sip, letting the familiar burn drown the thoughts clawing at the edges of his mind.

Xander leaned in with mock seriousness, resting an elbow on the back of the couch. “Baka naman in love? Hmm?” He narrowed his eyes at Gavin playfully. “Migs, may tinatago ka ba sa amin? Seryoso ka na ba kay Pia? Or… there’s another girl?”

Gavin scoffed and reached for his drink, but before he could answer, Xander added with a teasing grin, “Sabi ni Attorney, you kept mentioning someone you saw at the masquerade ball. So ano, may bago na ba?”

“Walang bago!” Andrew cut in before Gavin could even open his mouth, throwing his arm lazily over the couch. “Paano magkakaron? When he thinks that the girl he saw at the ball is the exact same girl he met years ago.”

Gavin froze for just a second. It was subtle, but enough for both Andrew and Xander to notice.

“Migs,” Xander said, half-laughing now. “You’re kidding. It’s been years. You’re still thinking about her?”

Gavin didn’t answer immediately. His gaze stayed fixed on his glass, watching how the amber liquid caught the dim light.

“She wasn’t just some girl,” he said finally, his voice low and certain.

That made both Andrew and Xander pause—a rare moment of silence between the two.

They didn’t often talk about her. Almost never, actually. But tonight, with the music low and the alcohol warm in their veins, the weight of her memory pressed harder than usual.

“You never told us what really happened that night,” Xander said softly, breaking the silence. “The first time you met her, I mean. Not fully, at least.”

Gavin glanced at him briefly, then back at his glass, swirling it slowly between his fingers.

“There’s not much to tell,” he lied. “We drank. We talked. We… connected. Then she left. No name. No number. Just disappeared.”

Andrew leaned back with a smirk and muttered under his breath, “You had s*x… and then she left you.”

Gavin shot him a sharp glare, and Andrew instantly raised both hands in surrender, finally keeping his mouth shut.

“And you’ve been hung up on her ever since,” Xander muttered—not teasing now, but genuinely curious.

A dry, humorless chuckle escaped Gavin’s lips. “I don’t expect you to get it,” he said, his tone quieter this time. “It wasn’t about how she looked, or what she said, or what we did. Not even that I was her first.”

He paused, letting the weight of the next words settle.

“It was just… a feeling,” he said finally. “Parang… for the first time, someone saw through me. Not the job title. Not the name. Just me.”

Xander blinked, taking that in, then leaned forward. “Wait… wait,” he said slowly, his tone shifting. “Ikaw ‘yung nakauna sa kanya?”

Gavin said nothing.

“Kaya ba hindi mo siya makalimutan?” Xander pressed gently.

“Siguro…” Gavin murmured after a moment, almost to himself. Then, more quietly, “Or maybe… because she was mine, too.”

Both Andrew and Xander exchanged a look, trying—unsuccessfully—to hold back their laughter. Typical.

Gavin sensed it, so he spoke again, firmer this time, his voice cutting through their unspoken amusement.

“Not the act,” he clarified sharply. “Because we didn’t just have s*x that night.” He finally met their eyes, steady and unflinching. “We made love. And no, it wasn’t my first time—technically. But it was the first time… it felt like that.”

That shut them up.

For a moment, neither Andrew nor Xander said a word. The usual noise of the bar seemed distant, muffled, as Gavin let himself sit with the ache—the quiet, lingering kind. Not the pain of losing someone, but the ache of something unfinished. Something that once meant everything… and maybe still did.

“Laki ng problema mo, Migs,” Xander finally said, breaking the silence with a soft half-smile, his tone lighter now.

Andrew chuckled beside him. “Grabe ka, Gav. I never thought you’d get this sentimental since—wait, never.”

“Shut up,” Gavin muttered, shaking his head as he reached for his glass again.

“Pero seryoso,” Xander added, leaning back in his seat, “okay lang ‘yan. We all have that one person who leaves a mark. Hindi mo man maintindihan agad, pero ramdam mo.”

“Yeah,” Andrew said, his voice surprisingly thoughtful this time. “Minsan, hindi mo na siya hinahanap… pero siya pa rin ‘yung hinahanap ng puso mo.”

Gavin glanced between them, a faint smirk tugging at his lips despite himself. “Since when did you two become experts in heartbreak?”

“Uy, marunong din kami masaktan, no?” Andrew placed a hand over his chest in mock offense. “Kahit puro landi lang ang alam namin, may feelings din ‘to.”

Xander laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, Gav. If it’s meant to be, she’ll find her way back to you.” He tilted his glass toward Gavin. “Who knows? Baka siya nga ‘yung nakita mo sa ball.”

For the first time that night, Gavin allowed himself a small, genuine smile. Someone finally took his side.

“You’re giving him false hope, Xander,” Andrew retorted immediately.

“I’m not!” Xander shot back, raising his brows in mock innocence.

Gavin didn’t join their banter this time. Instead, he leaned back, swirling the drink in his hand, the thought lingering like the taste of whiskey on his tongue.

Maybe Xander was right. Maybe not. But deep down, he knew one thing for certain: he’d know her anywhere.

Gavin turned his gaze toward the window, eyes tracing the city lights in the distance. For a brief second, the noise of the bar faded, replaced by the quiet hum of his own thoughts.

“Hope’s all I’ve got left,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “And if that wasn’t her… then maybe I don’t want to know.”

Neither Andrew nor Xander spoke right away.

Andrew was the first to break the silence, though softer than usual. “Tangina, ang bigat mo, bro.”

Xander’s gaze lingered on Gavin, half worried, half resigned. “You really think it was her?”

Gavin didn’t answer. He just stared into his glass, watching the light bounce off the amber liquid. The faint smile from earlier had vanished, like it was never there at all.

“So… anong plano mo ngayon?” Xander asked after a moment, his tone gentler this time.

Gavin swirled the drink slowly, eyes following the ice as it melted into the liquor. He didn’t speak right away, letting the weight of the question sit between them.

“I don’t know,” he admitted at last. “Hindi ko nga alam kung may dapat pa ba akong gawin. Part of me wants to chase her. Pero the other part—” He paused, letting out a soft, uneven breath.

Andrew leaned forward, his voice firm but not unkind. “Gav, gets ko naman na hindi gano’n kadali ang makalimot. But it doesn’t mean na babalik ka sa dati mong gawi, di ba? Just… don’t tell us na tatambay ka na naman ng magdamag sa mga lugar kung saan mo siya huling nakita.”

A dry chuckle escaped Gavin’s lips, but there was no humor in it. “Hindi naman siguro.”

“Migs,” Andrew said, resting his elbows on his knees, leaning closer. “We’ve seen you go through this before. We’re not saying wag mong hanapin kung mahalaga talaga… pero huwag mo namang kalimutan ‘yung sarili mo sa proseso.”

“Yeah,” Xander added softly, his voice steady but quiet. “There’s a difference between not moving on… and not wanting to move forward.”

Gavin fell silent. Their words landed harder than he expected—not because they were harsh, but because they were true.

“FYI, hindi ko na siya hinanap,” he said finally, his voice steady but low. “I’m way past that. Pero… gustung-gusto kong malaman kung totoo ba talaga ‘yung nakita ko. Kung may kailangan pa ba akong ayusin… o tuluyan ko na siyang bibitawan.”

Andrew nodded slowly, a trace of concern in his eyes. “Then find your answer. But promise us—no more stupid acts, Gav. You’re not the same person anymore. May mabibigat kang responsibilidad na kailangan mong pagtuunan ng pansin.”

This time, Gavin met his gaze and nodded. “I know.”

For the first time in a long while, the night felt quiet—not because the bar had grown silent, but because something inside him finally did. Maybe not completely. Maybe not yet.

But for now, at least… may linaw na kahit konti sa loob niya.