11 PM

CHAPTER TWENTY

“Can you explain it to me Catherine?” my voice was full of beggingness “because I really don’t know what I’m going to do?”

Lumapit siya sa akin and she hugs me “I’m sorry if I became insensitive, I’m sorry if I take advantage of your feelings for him”

nakatayo lang ako patuloy na nakikinig sa kanya “I-I’m sorry kung hindi ako naging aware about your thoughts, I just don’t want you to be involved with him because I’m seeing that he’s just jealous because you’re not giving him more attention as you do to Jae kaya niya ginawa iyon!” she continues brushing my back.

“I want him to know that you’re not an option every time Trinity is not there. I know you didn’t truly tell about us what happened at the concert, but I hinted at it. I gave him a chance by giving you two a time to talk about it, but I don’t think he explain himself walang pagbabago he’s just doing it again. No assurance nothing, I am sorry dahil alam ko gulong-gulo ka na sa kanya, pero we didn’t do anything.”

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko, I wanted to say more but I couldn’t because I know we are both overwhelmed with our frustration, and with that, we can’t talk calmly.

We both came back on the room with our eyes swollen. Pinagtitinginan pa nga kami pero masyado akong pagod to deal with them kaya pinabayaan ko na lang ano man ang gusto nilang isipin.

Dawn and Viel wanted to eat later nag-aaya pa silang lumabas, but Cathy refuses it and said that we have something to do kami nila Dale.

Pauwi na kami ngayon. Wala pa ring imikan ang nangyari. I didn’t bother to look at Cathy because I know she’s still not okay. Magsimula kaninang nagsagutan kami ni Catherine hindi na kami pa nag-usap. I know Dale’s noticing something kaya hindi rin siya nagsasalita magsimula ng magkita-kita kami. Also, Mika’s not there when we met Dawn’s and the others.

I’m not mad anymore I get what she wanted to say. Ang kailangan ko lang isipin is how will I deal with the two; Jae and Mika they are both sakit sa ulo.

Nang makadating na kami sa bahay, I straight up walking to our room but Dale held my hand at kita kong hawak niya rin sa isang kamay si Cathy.

“I can’t sleep when you two are not okay” Dale is serious now, kaya kinabahan na ako.

“D-Daniel I’m so—”

“It’s okay Cathy, hindi na ako galit” I smiled at her at lumapit sa kanya.

“I know what you wanted to do, mali lang talaga ang sinabi mo kanina.” I don’t have anything to say. Gusto kong magkaayos kami because she’s really the only one who can endure me. she’s my best friend I can’t be mad at her. Hinarap ko siya sa akin. I can see that she’s still crying. people say na mataray si Cathy just because she has sharp features but the truth is she’s so kind-hearted she’s a crying baby.

“Apologize to Mika tomorrow” I saw her shooked but easily recover to it and just nod “I will deal with them both so please don’t worry about me anymore, okay?” saka ko sila tinignan dalawa.

“Sayang ‘di ko kayo napanood magbardagulan kanina” sabi naman ni Dale and he both hug us.

Me:

‘Jae are you awake?’

I texted Jae because I wanted to clear up things with him first. Mahirap kausapin si Mika he’s too stubborn.

I am lying on my bed now. hindi ako makatulog at hindi ko alam kung kaya kong ipagpabukas ito that’s why I texted him na, and I probably can’t talk to him personally about this matter. Call me coward but I really can’t

Without any seconds naman he replied

Jae:

‘Yeah’

Me:

‘Are you serious about what you had said to me kanina?’

I don’t want this to be long kaya diniretso ko na siya na and I’m hoping that he will reply no.

Jae:

‘Yes’

But the opposite is what I’ve received.

Me:

‘earlier… please whatever you saw there’s nothing going on between me and him’

‘I don’t know why I’m even saying this to you’

‘but my point is I don’t think…. I can't accept your feelings’

‘Mika has nothing to do because of this’

‘you're my friend Jae….’

‘and for now, that’s what I can be best for you’

Hindi ko alam kung anong ekpresyon ang nasa mukha niya ngayon at ayokong malaman kung ano.

I waited for his reply pero limang minuto na ang nakakalipas but I’m still on the seen.

Jae:

‘Can you at least let me like you?’

Napabalikwas kaagad ako ng marinig ko na may nag-chat.

Me:

‘but Jae, I can’t give you an assurance na kaya kong gustuhin kita pabalik’

I would end up hurting him…

Jae:

‘I don’t care just let me’

‘please?’

I let a deep sigh before I send my reply to him.

Me:

‘okay’

Parang mas lalo pang naging malala ang sitwasyon? Parang mas ayos pa ang kanina? Sinabunutan ko ang sarili to let out my frustration and to calm down. Damn this day.

Kinaumagahan ramdam ko ang pagkasabog ko. Dumeretso na sa kusina para kumain and there I saw Cathy and Dale are eating na.

“Pwede bang huwag ako pumuntang university last day na rin naman ng foundation” tanong ko agad pagkaupo sa tabi ni Cathy saka idinukmo ang ulo sa lamesa. I don’t think I can go to school. Hindi ko kayang harapin si Jae and Mika I’m so tired because of them.

“it’s okay naman” agad kong itinayo ang ulo ko saka tumingin kay Cathy na siyang sumagot.

“Really?” may sigla kong sabi. Isang absent lang naman ngayon lang.

“syempre joke lang gaya nga ng sabi last day madaming gagawin” bigla akong nanlumo ng marinig ko siya. Originally, we planned naman na huwag na mag-attend ng foundation tapos one day lang ayaw pa nila ako hindi papuntahin ng school?

“Ano bang nangyare?” tanong naman ni Dale na aamaze pa rin sa akin.

“I texted Jae kagabi…” I saw them both shifted their gaze at me habang ako nakatulala pa rin “I rejected him…” dagdag ko pang sabi “but he will still pursue me daw….”

I heard them burst into laugh pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon. Ako naman gusto kong umiyak. Gusto ko na talagang maglaho. I’m not ready.

“Lakas naman pala ni Jae” natatawang sabi naman ni Cathy.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. “Hindi ba ikaw ang may crush sa kanya? Bakit ako ang namomroblema sa kanya ngayon?” iritang tanong ko naman sa kanya. Naalala ko I even told Jae about Cathy na may crush ito sa kanya, then bakit siya nagka-feelings sa akin? Ngayon na naguguluhan na rin ako. This can’t be I really need to talk with him about this matter.

“’teh sige ikaw na mas maganda” biro pa niyang sabi “kaya deserve mo ‘yang problema mo ngayon” rinig ko namang pati si Dale ay natawa. Ang saya nila habang ako eto nanlulumo pa rin.

“may isa ka pang problema si Mika” napabungisngis naman ako ng marinig ko si Dale

“but you should eat first dahil mala-late na kayo” nanlulumo man ay kailangan kong pumasok at harapin ito dahil alam kong hindi ko rin matatakasan ito.