Slow Dancing

Chapter 6

“SO, THAT'S THE FAMOUS IYA?” bulong sa kanya ni Samael habang nasa harap ang dalawa, hatak ni Ale ang isang maleta. Tumango lang siya. 

“I didn’t peg Alejandra as someone who digs short girls,” sabi pa nito. 

Napalingon siya rito. “Right, because you’re not?” aniya nang maalala si Belle na isa ring maliit na babae. He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. 

“What’s your type?” he asked.

“If I tell you, you’d have to hide Belle from me,” she teased. Tumaas ang isang kilay nito. “I don’t think I have a type. Kapag bet mo, bet mo. ‘Yon na ‘yon,” ang sabi niya naman.

Nakatingin ito sa kanya at nakangiti habang naglalakad. “Talaga?” 

“Bakit nakangiti ka na naman?” asik niya. 

“I just have to ask, straight ka ba?” tanong pa nito.

Kunwa’y nag-isip siya. “I am a proud bi,” she declared. “I’ve never been in a relationship, though. I’m attracted to both but I’d say I’m more drawn to girls.”

“I mean, their beautiful butts, aight? Damn,” he teased and it made her roll her eyes. “No disrespect,” pahabaol nito nang mahinang tawa lang ang sinagot niya rito.

“So, I heard you’re bi, too,” aniya sa kausap. 

“I am.”

“You’ve been with a guy?” 

Tumango ito. “‘Wag kang mabibigla, ha,” anito. Hinihintay niya itong sundan ang sinabi ngunit inaabangan siya nitong mag-react. 

“Ano nga?” atungal niya. Nabitin ang excitement na naramdaman niya. 

“I’m in an open relationship,” sabi nito. 

Napamaang siya rito. “Open as in open?” paniniguro niya.

“Close open? Hina ng comprehension?” biro nito.

Napahinto siya sa paglalakad para sa dramatic effect. “Kakakilala lang natin, ‘wag kang ano riyan.” 

Nang mahimasmasan sa narinig ay inusisa niya ito ng inusisa. Ayon sa kwento nito ay hindi lang si Belle ang kasalukuyang partner nito. Mayroon pa itong isang nobyo. It was a mutual agreement between Belle, Samael, and the other guy. They all like exchanging holes from time to time and who seriously doesn’t? Nah, just kidding. Ari’s still trying to wrap her head around the said fact. It was Belle who suggested it and Samael wasn’t foreign to the idea because he was also curious and willing to try. It took them long before finding another guy. Belle wasn’t emotionally attached to the new guy but it was okay for her if he sticks around, and he actually did. Samael and the guy spent time together and wanted more than a one time thing. 

Samael honestly thought Belle would French exit and leave him but to their shock, she fully adjusted to the new situation and told him that she wanted to stay. And unfortunately, share her boyfriend.

Ari couldn’t imagine herself in his shoes. It’s already hard enough to find a woman who wouldn’t demand more than what she could offer at the moment and even if they escalate it, it’s not like they’re both emotionally stable to handle this kind of relationship. Especially her. Naduduwag pa siya. And she likes them anything but Filipina. And imagine if they both clashed and wanted the other to say sorry first but the ego keeps on giving. Sa huli, siguradong hindi siya ang unang magpapakumbaba. Wala yata iyon sa bokabularyo niya. Pero siguro naman hindi niya lagi paiiralin ang pride niya. Baka wala na silang narating kung parati siyang ganoon. Immature much? 

Ari asked him how do they keep the love alive? Are they even in love with each other still? Kahit anong pagbaliktad ng ulo niya ang gawin, hinding-hindi niya ibabahagi sa iba ang kasintahan. If there was one. The thought is exciting, yes. But doing the actual thing, being with two people who want her body and they’re fine sharing her, uh, hard pass, maybe? No, really, threesome is a one time thing. That’s her personal opinion. 

The thing is, one can find that s****l thrill easily if they know where to look. But love, man, that s**t is elusive. It doesn’t happen every day. It’s not like she’s always in a safe place to love another person. As cliche as it sounds, she wanted to be the best version of herself before plunging headfirst into a relationship. 

Samael told her that “love is always there, it’s just not as strong as before”. That got her more curious than ever and she wanted every detail. Lalo niya itong kinulit. May kanya-kanya na silang mundo. Sila ni Samael at sina Ale at Iya. Nagkape muna sila at tumambay sa open area kung saan nalalanghap nila ang usok ng sigarilyo ng ibang nagkakape. Wala silang pakialamanan ng trip, basta magkausap lang sila ni Samael at ina-absorb niya ang lahat ng sinasabi nito.

Sabi pa nito, “It got to a point where I wanted it to be just me and my boyfriend.” He thought Belle would finally breakfree but instead she gave him space to process. And Belle also did exactly that. 

“She decided to stick around? Why?” is her question upon learning that the girlfriend stayed.

Again, he shrugged his shoulders. Inayos nito ang pagkakalapat ng moustache nito bago sumagot. “I never thought she could love like that. It’s her kink, maybe. I don’t think I deserve her at all,” anito.

Napaisip siya. “You like sharing her?”

“I don’t mind,” ang sagot nito.

“Seryoso?” hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya. 

“Ikaw ba?” balik-tanong nito.

Umingos siya. “No, thanks,” komento niya.

Binalingan niya ng tingin ang dalawang busy sa sarili nilang mundo. Iya was obviously spent from the train ride but her glow is as loud as Ale’s laugh. 

“You know,” pukaw ni Samael sa kanya. “I don’t see you judging me. And that’s great. You really are a breath of fresh air.”

Napangiti siya. “Who am I to judge, Samael?” tawag niya rito. Ang weird lang sa pakiramdam na tawagin ito sa sarili nitong pangalan. ‘Di naman sila gano’n ka-close kaya gano’n pa ang pakiramdam niya. Lalo na’t ‘di naman common ang pangalan nito. “I like women, Samael. I am drawn to guys also, but I like women more. Ang mga nasa paligid ang magdya-judge sa atin. Hindi tayo na nakahanap ng kakampi sa katauhan ng isa’t isa. Tsaka alam mo naman, tayong nakakaranas lang ang magkakaintindihan sa struggles natin. Tayo rin ang talo kung ‘di natin iintindihin ang isa’t isa, alangan maghilahan pa tayo pababa. Pinoy na Pinoy lang?”

Muli ay inayos nito ang bigote nito. Mannerism na yata nito iyon. “Siguro ‘yong mga tinutukoy mong mga Pinoy, eh, ‘yong ibang mundo ang kinagisnan. Mahirap nga ‘yan kung hindi sila informed at updated sa agos ng mundo. Maybe all they need is a conversation about that. Maybe they’re willing to listen and learn, or not. Key point is we try to have these conversations with hard headed people. Kahit tayo rin. We should practice changing opinions when presented with new information. The people that we secretly hate and judge for being mentally stagnant just need an eye-opening dialogue. Or not. Again, that depends. ‘Di natin masasabi na porket naiparating na natin ang kailangan nating sabihin ay magbabago na ang isipan nila.”

Tumango-tango lang siya. Hindi niya alam kung paano sundan iyon. Parang ang sarap lang nito pakinggan magsalita. Pakiramdam niya marami siyang matututunan sa taong ito. 

“What are you thinking?” pukaw nito. “Nakatulala ka.” 

“Ha?” siya na nakabawi. 

“Hay, ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko, kulang ka lang sa kape,” anito at patayo nang pigilan niya ito. 

“Uhm, if you’re gonna order, para sa ‘yo na lang. Magdi-dinner na rin naman tayo mayamaya, so I guess, magpapagutom na lang ako,” aniya.

“Is that so?” Umupo ulit ito. “May o-order-in ba kayo, chicas?” tawag-pansin nito kina Ale at Iya.

Nang tumingin sa direksyon nila ang dalawa ay ikinubli niya ang umahong tawa sa lalamunan niya. Halos mapunit na ang labi ng dalawa sa sobrang ngiti. Bakas na bakas sa mukha ng mga ito na masaya sila sa company ng isa’t isa. They obviously missed each other.

Sa huli ay nagyaya na silang maglakad-lakad na lang muna habang nag-iisip kung saan sila magdi-dinner. Ari would love to do that but it’s already dark and she’s not comfortable walking at this hour with a luggage at hand. She voiced her concern so Ale suggested they should go back to her place first. Para yatang nakita niya itong kumindat sa kanya? 

They left Ale’s place immediately after leaving Iya’s belongings. Okay, maybe now she fully understands what the wink was for.

They decided to eat first before walking the stretch of the seashore. They ordered a mix of seafood and steaks. Water therapy is real for these hoes so they ordered water for them while Samael ordered a beer.

It was a fruitful conversation. They tackled feminism and sustainable energy upon Iya’s initiation. Later Iya whispered it was one of her ‘questions to ask on a date’ but decided it would be fun to involve the group. They were in the bathroom touching up their oily skin. Skin care during day and night and she’s glowing, but super oily. She knows it’s healthy, but really? They’re eating out in the open and it’s kinda cold. Why the heck is her skin still acting up? Anyway, what’s with this train of thoughts?

“So, who’s that guy?” asked Iya as she was washing her hands.

“A friend of Ale’s and Lewis’.”

She was eyeing her funny. “You two look cute together,” anito.

Tinawanan niya ito. “Taken ‘yon. Hindi ba nakarating sa ‘yo?”

“No,” Hinarap siya nito. “Have you been a good girl, Amari?” 

“What the heck?” aniya nang marinig ang tono nitong akala mo’y nang-aakit.

Iya laughed and rolled her eyes. “Shut up. I was only trying if I could do that husky, bedroom voice. Anyway, have you?”

“What do you mean?” she asked innocently.

“Did you see someone?” Lumabas na sila at naglakad pabalik ng mesa nila.

“I did, yeah.”

“How was it?”

“Hmm, we didn’t date, if that’s what you wanna know. I know you’re a believer of the first three dates, but, hun, sorry. Maybe next time?” Binuntutan niya iyon ng tawa.

“Amari, no.” The usual Iya. 

“Hindi naman counted ‘yong naglakad-lakad lang kami hanggang sa nagyaya siya sa kanila?” aniya. “Hindi naman kasi ako naghahanap ng girlfriend ngayon. I’m still exploring, having fun, pero parang ‘di ko kayang mag-stick-to-one lang. Char. Ganda ka, ‘te?”

“I was gonna say it’s okay to have fun but use protection.”

Sabay silang natawa. “I definitely would if I have to,” aniya. “But for now, there’s no need.”

After finishing everything they ordered, they stayed for quite awhile. 

“I wanna go to Zaragoza for a day or two,” ani Iya. “Baka this week na rin. Free ba kayo?”

“I am,” mabilis na sagot ni Ale. 

Nagdududang tiningnan niya ito. “Parang planado naman na,” komento niya. “Kailangan ba talaga kaming imbitahan diyan?”

“Oo nga, eh. Parang formality na lang na kunwari inaalok kami,” segunda ni Samael.

“Kaya nga ‘wag na kayong sumama,” si Ale.

Tatawa-tawa lang si Iya. 

“Naku, sinasabi ko na nga ba,” aniya. 

Iiling-iling lang din si Samael. “Ano namang ginawa mo sa Valencia at Bilbao? Nag-enjoy ka naman?” tanong ng huli.

“Secret muna,” ani Iya. “Nag-enjoy naman. Gano’n pala ang feeling ng solo flight. Wala nga lang akong matinong kuha. Puro selfie lang tapos mag-isa rin kumakain sa mga café. Sabi ko nga sana may kasama ako no’n, eh.” Sabay tapon ng tingin kay Ale. “Kahit taga-picture ko lang.”

“Taga-picture, taga-punas ng pawis, go,” sagot naman ng kaibigan niyang handang magpaalila. Gusto niya itong batukan pero wala naman siyang maipipintas kay Iya dahil hindi ito katulad nilang in-explore na ang dapat i-explore na akala mo ay mauubusan ng experience sa buhay. She’s well-put, reserved, witty, quick on her feet, a feminist, promotes sustainable products and energy, a great conversationalist, and possibly many more only Ale can tell in the future. Maybe one day Ale will tell them about it on their wedding day. One could hope. Amari would love to see that. She would fly all the way to their wedding destination and she hoped by that time she would not be a typical rich, drunk Tita with stories about how it was her decision not to settle down and how she explored the Mediterranean sea while being served with wine from left to right. 

“You, guys, are cute,” sabi niya sa dalawa. “I could see this happening.” Iminuwestra niya ang dalawa. 

“Ssshh,” si Samael. “Let them be,” bulong nito sa kanya sabay kindat sa dalawa. That was their cue to enter their own bubble. Hinarap na lang niya si Samael. “They have good chemistry,” anito. 

“Right? I sometimes envy it,” wika niya.

“Pfft,” 

“What?”

“Why would you? You’re getting all the p*****s you want and you’re enjoying it, aren’t you?”

“Sure. But then I see people who are so drawn to each other you could almost taste and feel the love they have for each other. Doon ako nagseselos. How do I get that? When all this time I only know how to attract short term, short lived kind of people. That’s my vibe.”

He shook his head. “That’s what you’re putting out in the world. But when you’re ready, when you finally meet the person that would make you think ‘oh, s**t’, then you’ll know. Ikaw ba ‘yon? ‘Yong nagsabi sa akin ng ‘when you know, you know’. Well, there’s that. And that’s not your vibe. You’re young and sweet and cute. People like you. I like you.”

She made a face. “Young, sweet, cute. Grabe parang I don’t hear that often with girls I went out with and they’re gone the minute we part. Mutual agreement naman namin iyong maghiwalay kami at never nang magkita ulit.”

“And if you change your mind, initiate the conversation. Text them again. Don’t wait for them to do it. Parehas lang kayong maghihintayan. Parang you keep each other from arm’s length so that when they’re available, one text away lang. ‘Yan ‘yong napansin ko sa dating scene ngayon. May extra silang space sa contacts nila, may hindi binuburang numero, para kapag bored o nangangailan lang ng company, merong mayayaya,” he said.

“I do that, sadly. I have that one number I don’t wanna erase… yet,” pahayag niya.

He arched his eyebrow. “Care to tell me who is this girl?”

She sighed. “I don’t wanna spill my guts again but long story short, we had already met a few times before she told me that she has a boyfriend. I never imagined I would be f*****g someone who is taken, that is so out of my vocabulary. She only told me that because her boyfriend was coming over for a month. I don’t get to see her for a month.”

“Oh, that sucks. She should’ve told you that in the first place. Consent is really important and the fact that that didn’t cross her mind says a lot about her. You know what, I hate her. Leave her, find someone else.”

Napalabi siya. “I have a month to think it over.”

“Seriously, Amari?” 

Sumimangot na siya. “I know, I know. Sige, hindi na. Promise.” 

Naningkit ang mga mata nito. “Do you?” 

Tumango siya.

“I hate that she did that to you. Okay, question, would you agree to that setup if she told you that in the first place?” 

“Nope. I’m not that kind of girl. No, sir.”

“So wala pa ring difference. Are you saying she’s good kaya hindi mo maiwan?”

Inirapan niya ito. “Hindi na nga ako makikipagkita. Hayaan mo na ‘yon.”

Tinitigan siya nito na parang sinusuri siya. “Swear it. You deserve better.”

“I swear. Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs will attest to that.”

“Huh?”

She smiled mischievously. “Wala.”