Never in a Haste (Tagalog)

Chapter 8

Thank You

This is our last night in Bali so we decided to swim on the hotel’s infinity pool. Maraming tao pero iyon ang gusto ko. I wanted to see more people before I leave.

Yvo held my hand as we walked towards the pool. We took a few photos with the foreigners we met. Iyon ang pinakapaborito kong gawin sa tuwing nagta-travel ako. I want to feel like I am one with the people around me.

The water in the pool was sparkling as it illuminated the reflection of the lights. I took several pictures of the pool alone. Pansin kong medyo nagtataka si Yvo dahil sa kawirduhan ko.

I viewed the photos again and smiled to myself. I will surely write about this place.

Biglang umakbay sa akin si Yvo. “Are you happy?” bulong niya habang tinatanaw rin ang mga larawan.

Tumango ako. I went here broken and devastated. Now, I think I’m going to leave this place with a renewed heart and mind.

The hike was definitely the turning point of this journey. The sunrise brought me back the life that I thought I had lost and the happiness that I thought was already gone.

Yvo and I tried some water adventures throughout the day. We did water rafting and even diving—some of the things that I haven’t ever tried. And I would say I loved it. Adventures can be tiring but they can be enjoyable at the same time.

“Good,” Yvo whispered before pulling me towards the pool. “Now, let’s swim…” he continued with a seductive voice.

I looked at him in disbelief. Did he just…

He chuckled as he took the camera away from me and placed it on the pool side. He removed his shirt and dipped in the pool. He c****d his head to the side. “Come on, Avery!”

I looked around and saw people weirdly looking at him because he’s talking so loudly while I am just here in front of him. I scowled at him but he just laughed.

He didn’t care about other people. Well, in a few hours, we won’t be seeing all of them anyway.

I grinned widely and shook my head as I removed my cover up revealing a black one-piece swimsuit. I followed Yvo in the pool making him smirk at me.

“Kailangan pa sinisigawan, e…” Halos umirap siya nang makarating ako sa tabi niya.

Humalakhak lang ako at winisikan siya ng tubig. Nalaglag ang panga niya sa gulat bago ako ginantihan. Iyon lang ata ang ginawa namin sa pool. Kung hindi niya ako kinukuhanan ng litrato ay naglalaban kami sa tubig.

He’s childish. I wonder if his employees know that.

Pagkatapos naming maligo ay nagdesisyon kaming pumunta sa bar. We had not visited it since our first night in Viceroy Bali. “Chill lang,” is what he said, so I agreed.

The place seemed the same like the first time. The only difference is, there was no couple dry-humping from the other side of the tables.

Yvo ordered a bottle of red wine making me look at him weirdly. He shot his brows up like he didn’t do anything unusual at all.

“Red wine? Talaga ba?” I gave him a teasing look.

He smirked. “Ayaw kong malasing ka. Baka mahirapan akong gisingin ka bukas ng madaling araw,” he retorted.

I sneered at him and he just laughed. Kanina pa niya ako iniinis dahil sobrang nahirapan siyang gisingin ako para sa hike na iyon.

Damn. I didn’t want to leave my bed by then.

“You shouldn’t have seen the beautiful sunrise,” he added.

I rolled my eyes. But he was right. If I didn’t get my ass off the bed this morning, I wouldn’t have felt the majestic Balinese sunrise from the top of a beautiful volcano.

The waiter gave us the bottle of red wine and Yvo thanked him. Nagsimulang maglagay si Yvo sa wine glass namin. Tinitigan ko siya habang ginagawa niya iyon. Iyon lang kasi ang panahong malaya kong magagawa iyon dahil hindi siya nakatingin sa akin.

Hindi ako manhid. I can see and feel how different he’s treating me right after the hike. He was always holding my hand. He was always trying to take care of me.

Hindi naman sa nagrereklamo ako dahil sa kanya, apat na taon ang lumipas bago siya naging ganito kalapit sa isang babae. Pero para sa akin, ilang araw pa lang ang lumipas pagkatapos kong maramdaman ang kakaibang sakit sa puso ko.

Everything was just so fresh so this is still so awkward for me. But then I did the first move in the mountain. Ako ang unang lumapit sa kanya. Kaya masisisi ko ba siya?

My eyes widened when I saw him lift his gaze up. He finished filling our glasses with wine. My heart almost dropped when he motioned for me to drink up.

He shrugged off the awkward astmosphere I am feeling when he just drank the wine in his glass.

Sa ilang araw na magkasama kami, alam ko namang mabait siya. He wouldn’t stay with me if he isn’t. He could have just left me in the club. He could have just let me drown in beer.

But he didn’t. He stayed. Just when someone left me.

“What are your plans upon going back?” he asked as he played with his bottom lip.

I shrugged. “Hindi ko alam. Work, I guess.”

Tumango siya. “Hindi mo ba siya kakausapin?” tanong niya.

Nagtama ang mga tingin namin. Bahagya akong ngumiti. “Hindi na siguro. Nasabi na rin niya ang gusto niyang sabihin. Ayos na ako sa mga narinig ko sa kanya.”

“Good,” iyon lang ang sagot niya at mataman na akong tinitigan. “You think we can hang out?”

He’s asking me if he could hang out with me in the Philippines? Am I reading this right?

I pursed my lips in a thin line. “Don’t you think that this is all too soon?” tanong ko.

I don’t want to think about what Brenna told me but it keeps on playing in my head. Siguro, kaya ganito ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya ay dahil gusto kong makaramdam ng pagkalinga—iyong alam kong hindi ko na makukuha kay Anton.

Tumaas ang kilay niya. “You think you’re my rebound?”

I bit my lip and thought. I took a deep breath. “No, maybe it’s the other way around,” sagot ko. “Baka ikaw ang rebound ko.”

And I don’t want that to happen. Hindi ko maisip na magiging isang rebound lang si Yvo. At ayaw kong gawin iyon sa kanya dahil alam kong mas may halaga siya kaysa roon.

He stared at me, watching my every move.

I smiled weakly. “I don’t want to do that to you, Yvo. I am very vulnerable right now. I don’t want to let myself fall for someone just because he is kind to me.”

Yvo stared back at me. He was silent for a few moments. He drank his wine and refilled his glass at least three more times. I was so scared he would leave me here. I was so scared he would not want to see me after this. He was already rejected before. But am I rejecting him now?

I was about to say something but then I saw him smiling at me widely.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya.

“Can I borrow your phone?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him, confused and questioning. “What?”

He raised his brow. “I didn’t know you were deaf, Avery.”

I jeered at him and gave him my phone but he told me to unlock it. I did what he wanted and then handed it to him.

He typed in something for a few seconds before giving it back to me. I looked at him curiously. “What was that?”

He shrugged and drank another glass of wine. Ginagawa na atang gin ang wine dahil parang uhaw na uhaw ito habang nilalagok ang inumin.

I looked at my phone and checked the last opened application pero inalis niya iyon. Mautak ang isang ito. Nilingon ko siyang nalilito.

“Ano nga?” tanong ko ulit.

Humalakhak siya dahil sa itsura ko. Maybe I looked like I was in distress and so frustrated because I cannot find out what he just did in my phone.

“Ano nga kasi?” tanong ko ulit.

Mas lalo lang siyang tumawa at halos buhusan ko na siya ng wine dahil doon. Pinilit niyang kumalma at akala ko ay sasabihin na niya sa akin pero hindi pa rin.

Sa halip ay tinawag niya ang waiter and kinuha ang bill namin. Sinilip ko ang oras sa cellphone. Alas-onse na pala. Kailangan na nga naming mag-empake dahil alas-cinco y media ang flight namin kaya dapat ay nasa airport na kami nang mas maaga pa.

“You’ll know when the time is right,” ani Yvo bago maglapag ng pera sa mesa.

Tumayo na siya kaya tumayo na rin ako kahit na litung-lito pa rin ako sa kung anong ginawa niya sa phone ko.

Hinintay niya ako para sabay kaming maglakad patungo sa suite. He didn’t touch me. He didn’t hold my hand. But I felt better. I felt like it’s better this way.

I don’t want him to be sweet to me now. Hindi iyon ang kailangan ko. Ang kailangan ko ay makalimot gamit ang sariling sikap—nang hindi tinutulungan ng ibang tao dahil ayaw kong dumepende sa iba. I want to do this for myself because I believe that I needed to stand on my own. I needed to be free from pain by my own—not through the help of somebody else.

We stopped when we reached the door of our suite. Somehow, I feel heavy as Yvo opened it. Para bang marami akong alaalang iiwan dito. Para bang masyado na itong napamahal sa akin.

Pumasok ako nang may mabigat na puso, inaalala kung anong pakiramdam ang nadama ko sa unang pagpasok ko rito. I was so broken that time. I was not my usual self. I was too…wrecked.

But now that I am about to leave, I realized how different I felt. It may just have been a couple of days but I think I have changed, somehow.

Yvo looked at me and smiled. “I hope this trip made you feel better,” he told me.

I smiled and nodded. “It did,” I replied. “I don’t even know how to thank you enough.”

He chuckled and shook his head before leaning closer and planting a kiss on my forehead. “No,” he whispered. “Thank you, Avery. Thank you.”