Borrowed Love

Chapter 17 Remembering the past

Rox Wilford

I look at her while sleeping peacefully besides me. Ang sarap niyang tingnan.

How can she sleep like that when I am in trouble? Kanina pa nag-iinit ang aking katawan. How could not when the woman I have hots with ay katabi ko lang. Abot kamay ko lang ang babaing pinagnanasaan ko. Magkalapat pa ang aming katawan.

This is the price to pay with all the schemes I made. Yeah it's all part of my plan. Ang dalhin siya dito sa resort to get closer to her, to have our moments together. Ang makatabi siya sa pagtulog sa iisang kama kahit we got 2 other rooms outside.

Ang uminum ng alak para mawala ang tension sa aming dalawa and to loosen up para maging komportabli. But I haven't expected na tamaan siya kaagad coz she keeps drinking it.

Ang lakasan ang aircon for her to snuggle to me much closer at madama ang kanyang katawan. Ang akitin siya by showing my body, though it is true, di ako makatulog ng nakadamit, pero kung kailangan talaga I can do it with having a clothes while sleeping.

Now I am paying for my unfinished plan kasi tinulugan lang ako at di ko alam kung paano ko makayanan ang buong gabi na katabi siya with this close and her heat radiating in me.

It's hard to sleep when a man and a woman sleep together. Tension is always there, kaya di ako naniniwala na walang nangyayari kapag two bodies are close. Coz our body will always react to the carnal needs. Kahit pa walang pagmamahalan, it's a natural human body reaction at yun ang naramdaman ko ngayon.

As the day goes, the more I know her the more my feelings get immense and my desire gets intense.

It's been a while na di ko ito naramdaman. The feeling of being excited and happy inside. Ngayon lang uli nabuhay ang pagnanasa ko, the feeling of being alive because of one person and that's Yama.

Di ko mapigilang alalahanin ang nakaraan. The woman who made me alive before. Makes me giddy and excited but who happens to hurt me to the core. The reason why I lose my trust in a woman at kung bakit I choose to be single until now and not being attached to anyone again.

I may be involved with different women but all of them never penetrated my soul. I haven't had the same desire again. They are just for pleasure.

My mind drifted back to my past. The memories that I wanted to forget. The time when I meet my ex wife.

I was attending a party that time organized by my business partner.

"Rox, may ipakilala ako sayo later. She is Lyndi one of our models here. She is interested to know you;" sabi ni Tristan.

One of my business partners. Pagmamay-ari niya ang clothing line, I just invested kasi humingi siya ng tulong sa akin. We are friends in college.

"Really, sino naman yan?" Di ko rin mapigilan ma-excite sa sinabi niya.

When you are young, your hormones are strong. You are active and carefree. I was just 27 back then, masyado pang aggressive na minsan di ko pa masyadong pinag-iisipan ang mga desisyon ko.

"Wait dalhin ko dito, di ka magsisi kasi maganda talaga, rising star natin dito sa business." Ingganyo pa niya that makes me eager to know the girl.

"Well ipakilala mo sa akin." Nakangiti kong sabi. Then nawala si Tristan.

A few more minutes ng pakipag-usap ko sa ibang businessman, bigla akong na bored kaya I go to the bar station to have my drink.

"Hi, sabi ni Tristan you wanted to meet me." Bigla sabi ng malamyos na boses sa aking likuran kaya napapalingon ako.

Yeah she is pretty and gorgeous.

"Ikaw yung sinasabi niya na ipakilala niya sa akin?" Balik kong tanong as I stand up to face her closely.

"Yes, I'm Lyndi by the way. Have seen you in some events pero di pa tayo nagkausap ng harapan." She seems like a very sweet lady.

"Ah I'm Rox;" sabay lahad ng aking kamay. "For sure my idea kana about sa akin." Ngiti kong sabi as she accepted my hand for a handshake. Malambot ang kamay. Halata na di sanay sa pagtatrabaho ng physical.

Tama si Tristan maganda talaga with a body to die for kasi pa simply kong sinipat ang figure nya. Us men, it always drives us crazy whenever we see a woman with good body physique.

We talked the whole night by drinking, dancing and ended in a hotel bed after.

Since then palagi na kaming nagkikita. She often message me with sweet words kaya napapalapit ako sa kanya.

We click after a few times of meetings, including s*x. We spend most of our time. It's either she's staying with me or kaya I stay at her condo.

Then we got into a relationship. Palagi ko siyang kasama sa mga out of town trip ko kasi gusto niyang makakita ng ibang lugar.

"Babe, I need to have this." Turo ni Lyndi sa signature bag na nasa stante. Nasa US kami ngayon to attend a business conference. Bago pa lang ako nakilala sa business industry. My business and my name just started booming kaya puspusan ang trabaho ko to get my goal.

"Di ba marami ka ng ganyan sa condo mo. I saw one having that design in your collection."

Remind ko sa kanya. I don't mind buying her a gift but I want something na kakaiba or something na kikita. Bag is a dead investment, masisira, the value depreciate. I prefer jewelry pa kasi lalaki ang value as the time goes.

"Yes may ganito na ako but it's a different color and a different brand;" ungot pa niya sa akin. She is like that kapag may gusto dapat masusunod at makukuha agad.

Dahil mahal ko siya, I gave in sa lahat ng kapritsuhan niya at para di kami mag-away kasi ang hirap suyuin.

"Babe saan ka patungo tomorrow?" Tanong niya as she saw me packing my clothes, one afternoon.

"I have to meet my business partners in Canada, sila ang maging distributor ng products namin. This time, we will penetrate the international market." Inform ko sa kanya while putting all my clothes in my luggage.

"Sama ako Rox, I have never been in Canada. Sabi nila maganda daw dun." Lambing niyang sabi sa akin ng makatabi ako. I knew it na yun ang hihilingin niya.

"Babe, business ang ipinunta ko dun. I don't have much time to roam around. I will be busy at di kita maestimate dun."

"Promise babe, di ako maging sagabal sa plano mo. I will just go with you and enjoy the scenery. Ang importante ay nakarating ako ng Canada."

"How about we will have a vacation trip in Canada once my schedules lighten?" Try kong bargain sa kanya coz I don't want a distraction sa aking business trip.

"Babe kailan pa yun. I want to go with you tomorrow." Insist pa niya. Ayaw paawat.

"Okay, pack your things and will ask my secretary to book you a ticket." Wala ding silbi kahit humindi ako, di yun titigil until she gets what she wants.

"Yes, thank you babe, you're the best." Masayang niyang sabi at nagmamadaling nag-ayos ng gamit. At naging kasama ko nga siya sa business trip ko.

"Rox, i need you to be here right away." Tawag niya sa akin one time while I am having a meeting with my investor in one of the hotels. Kararating pa lang niya galing show sa Singapore.

"Babe, I am in the middle of a meeting. I can't attend to you right now. Ipapadala ko diyan si Jano para kunin ka at dalhin dito or bring to the location wherever you like." Malumanay kong sabi baka she will understand, this meeting is so important to me.

"No, I don't want your driver to fetch me , it's you that I want. Galing pa ako ng show babe. I am tired and wants to be with you." Maarti niyang sabi at umandar naman ang pagiging maldita. Di ko nalang siya sinaway. As always she gets her way.

"Ganun siya palagi demanding, ang gusto ang masusunod. Minsan napapasubo ako sa aking mga appointment. Nakakalimutan ko na ang ibang engagement ko nang dahil sa kanya.

"Girlfriend mo parin ba ang babaing yun?" Tanong ni Daddy G sa akin one time we are having lunch. Bihira ko na siyang nakaka-usap ngayon dahil sa sobrang busy.

"Yes Dad, why?"

"She is not good for you Rox. I have seen the likes of her in my lifetime. Ibabaon ka niya sa baba, she is your downfall. If you want to be successful let her go. You need a woman that will support you, understand you and be the right partner."

"Hindi yung siya pa ang magdidiin sayo, dahil sa kanyang immaturity at selfishness. Marami pang iba diyan Rox. She is no good;" mariin na sabi ni Dad at mukhang di nagbibiro.

"Mabait naman si Lyndi Dad." Pagtanggol ko pa. Alam ko mahirap kunin ang loob ni Daddy Gerald.

"Mabait? Maybe sa harapan mo. What about kapag nakatalikod ka na? Is she still the same when you're not looking? Open your eyes Rox. She isn't the right woman for you. The more mo pinatagal yan the more it gets complicated. Coz you will be attached to her."

"You should learn from my mistakes, kung ayaw mong matulad sa akin. Matanda na ako Rox. I have seen different walks of life, experience different phases in life and meet different people around me, good or bad. Think of my suggestion."

I don't know kung bakit ayaw ni Dad sa kanya. Maybe dahil si Dad ang sumbungan ko about my frustrations kay Lyndi. He got a negative impression already.

Dahil rising pa lang ako sa business, I'm focused on it, sinunod ko si Dad, he guided me. I had full trust in him kahit di ko siya totoong ama. He becomes my Dad when my real dad can't be.

One day, I feel a little change in Lyndi.

She is always busy lately at kahit magkasama kami. She's always on her phone. Di na siya masyadong nagde-demand ng time sa akin at nagpasama kung saan saan at di na rin sumasama sa aking mga out of town trip.

I am okay with it kasi I can focus with my business. I thought she was just being mature and it's a good sign.

Di na siya kasing demanding sa akin in terms of my hours. Akala ko everything is okay between us.

But one day I was shocked with what I knew about her.

"Babe, I think we need to get married soon." Bigla akong napapalingon sa kanya.

"What? I thought you wanted to pursue your modeling career and be successful in it?" Nabigla ako sa kanyang sudden change of desire.

"Yeah, I did but things changed. Why wala ka bang balak na pakasalan ako?" Bigla niyang rebut sa akin in a way na pagalit.

"No, not that babe I'm just wondering what made you change your mind drastically? If I remembered correctly, you asked me na kausapin ang ibang agency for you to line them as their model."

It's true kasi I have talked to some people I know coz she ask for it. And I'm busy at the moment baka di ko matutukan ang kasal na yan. It's not yet in my plan.

"Well, I need you to marry me as soon as possible coz I'm pregnant. Ayokong pagtawanan ng iba at masira ang pangalan ko."

"What? Are you sure you're pregnant?" The news really did shocked me.

"Bakit naman ako magbibiro? You aren't happy?" Rinig ko ang galit sa kanyang boses.

"Of course not, I am just shocked. You caught me off guard. Di ba, you use protection and I uses condoms?" Try kong inquire coz I'm not expecting this.

"Babe, di one hundred percent ang condom na safe. Minsan nakakalimot din tayo and sometimes I forgot to take my pill."

I guess this is it. We need to get married as soon as possible.

"Babe, i will be busier you know that. I am at the peak of my rise up. I have so many business schedules. Di ko matutukan ang wedding natin."

"It's okay. Ako ang bahala sa lahat basta I want a grand wedding huh, alam mo naman it will help me boast my name in the industry. After ako manganak I will be back to modeling again."

Di nalang ako nagsasalita. It's not what I wanted to do at the moment but I can't also neglect my child. Lumaki ako na walang ama at di kompleto ang pamilya. I don't want na ma-feel ng anak ko ang naramdaman ko habang lumalaki. Questioning myself and my worth, the feeling of being unwanted and not enough.

I guess things change now. I need to adapt to the new change, prioritize my family, embrace the responsibility of being a new father and being a family man now.