Borrowed Love

Chapter 18 My downfall

Rox Wilford

"Dad, I'm going to marry soon;" paalam ko kay Daddy G when I came into his house. Siya ang una kong nilapitan to have his blessings. I consider him as my real dad.

"What, nahihibang ka na ba Rox? Don't tell me with that woman?" Biglang taas ng boses niya.

Until now di parin niya tanggap si Lyndi kahit matagal na kaming magkarelasyon. And Lyndi doesn't make any moves as well para matanggap siya ni Dad. Even I told her that Dad is very important to me.

"Of course Dad. Sino pa ba ang papakasalan ko eh siya lang naman ang girlfriend ko. She is pregnant now, ayaw ko naman maging bastardo ang anak ko, katulad ng aking naranasan."

Di ko maiwasan na malungkot everytime I remember my childhood.

"Ano pa ba ang magagawa ko Rox, desisyon mo yan. Narito lang naman ako to give you advice and in the end ikaw parin ang magdesisyon kasi buhay mo yan. Ikaw ang haharap ng bukas."

Medyo nakaramdam ako ng kaginhawaan upon hearing those. Di siya nagmatigas na suportahan ako.

"Just learn to tame that woman. Ikaw ang lalaki Rox, wag mong hahayaan na saklawin siya ng desisyon mo or pangunahan ang buhay mo just because ayaw mo ng gulo. She will take advantage of that."

Mariin niyang bilin sa akin. Makikita mo talaga ang pagiging strikto niya.

"Ikaw dapat ang nagdedesiplina sa kanya. Ikaw ang masusunod sa inyong dalawa kasi ikaw ang lalaki. You are the head of the family and she should abide by your wishes as her partner."

Tumango ako kay Dad, I will put that on mind. He congratulated me for being a father.

We got married, the way she wanted, have a grand wedding as she wishes. Good thing stable na ang business income ko, nakayanan ko nang maglaan ng ganung halaga out of my budget. A huge blow out of my pocket as she invited some famous celebrities and elite people in modeling industry.

Nang kinasal na kami at nagsasama na sa iisang bubong, nakita ko ang pagbabago ng ugali ni Lyndi. Gone is the sweet Lyndi that I know.

Kung dati ay demanding siya, mas naging demanding pa ngayon with my time, my attention and other things. Minsan nasasakal na ako sa mga toxic niyang ugali pero dahil mahal ko siya, I always give in. In my mind baka dahil lang ito sa pagbubuntis niya.

One time, umuwi ako ng late dahil sa aking meeting kasi may problem sa planta na kailangan namin ng agarang solution, she suddenly thrown things at me pagtapak pa lang sa loob ng bahay.

I know she keeps on calling me kahit I told her I'm having a meeting coz we got a problem but ayaw maniwala. She keeps bothering me that's why I turned off the phone.

"Bakit ka pa umuwi kung gagabihin ka lang? Siguro may ibang babae ka na kinalulukuhan noh? Kasi buntis na ako kaya naghahanap ka ng bago." Bungad niya kaagad sa akin as soon as I step in the house.

"Babe, how could you think of that way? Ngayon pa ba ako magluluko na magkaka-anak na tayo and I'm a married man now? I'm working hard para sa pamilya natin. Please I'm so tired from work, I need a break."

"No, ang sabihin mo alibi mo lang yan kasi kasama mo ang babae mo dun. You turn off your phone para di kita mamonitor."

"Lyndi if di ka pa ba nagsasawa sa kadakdak mo diyan? Please stop I need to sleep, wala pa akong tulog masyado coz of the problem we're facing." I am almost begging her baka kasi ano pa ang magawa ko sa kanya.

"Oh see Lyndi na ngayon, di na babe? May babae ka na talaga. May iba ka na." Umiiyak niyang sabi.

That scene keeps on repeating. And to tell you honestly nagsasawa na ako. Sometimes I don't like to go home.

Ngayon ko napagtanto na tama si Dad and now I'm questioning myself if I did the right thing na pinakasalan si Lyndi.

One time when I am about to go home from the office, may nagpapakilala sa akin na lalaki.

"Ikaw ba si Rox?" Tanong ng lalaki na medyo maliit lang ng kaunti sa akin, maputi.

"Yes, anong kailangan mo sa akin?" Direct ko tanong sa kanya. Di ko siya kilala and I don't recall seeing him before.

"Ako si Trevor, bestfriend ni Jack, Lyndi's photographer. Pwede ba kitang makausap ng sarilinan? Important lang." When I heard Lyndi's name nakuha niya ang attention ko kaya pumayag ako sa kagustuhan niya.

I brought him in a cafe near the office.

"Now speak, I don't have much time to spare." I am a busy man kaya this must be important para pag aksayahan ko ng oras.

"Alam kong niluluko ka ng asawa mo, matagal na kaya nagsasalita na ako." Biglang nangunot ang noo ko sa aking narinig. I feel a bomb exploding right in front of me.

"That's a big accusation Man, may evidence ka ba? It's my wife that you are talking about." Wika ko sa kanya when I recovered. Shock man but I need to be firm ayokong niluluko.

"I know, patapusin mo muna ako saka ka mag-react." Tiningnan niya ako and I signal him to continue.

"Jack and Lyndi have a relationship behind your back when Jack becomes her photographer. They see each other in secret kapag wala ka. Sabi ni Lyndi pera lang daw ang hangad niya sayo dahil yun ang utos ng boyfriend niya dati na si Tristan, your business partner."

As I heard the name Tristan mas lalong nag-iinit ang ulo ko. I can't believe what I just heard.

"Kabit si Lyndi ni Tristan at ginamit niya si Lyndi para magstay ka ng matagal sa business ninyo."

I could still remember how Lyndi and I meet through Tristan. Siya ang nag-introduced sa amin.

"At first dahil yun sa utos ni Tristan but habang tumatagal nagustuhan niya ang mga nakukuha niya sayo. She used you para maging sikat sa modeling industry at mga luho niya na ibinibigay mo kaya she stayed with you at iniwan niya si Tristan."

I can't believe she and Tristan had a relationship, he is a married man.

"Kaya lang she falls in love with Jack at ganun din si Jack sa kanya but Jack doesn't have money para ibigay ang mga luho niya. Si Jack ang ama ng dinadala niya ngayon but di pwede na si Jack ang kilalanin dahil masisira ang career niya at alam ng lahat ang connection niya sayo."

Feeling ko biglang gumuho ang aking mundo as I heard those. The reason kung bakit ko siya pinakasalan agad because she is pregnant and now this man is telling me that I am not the father of the child Lyndi is bearing?

"Gusto man ni Jack na panagutan si Lyndi but ayaw ni Lyndi. Ngayon naging desperado si Jack, I'm afraid baka makagawa siya ng di maganda para lang matugunan ng gusto ni Lyndi."

"Kaya ako ngayon lumapit sayo. Jack is my best friend and he had changed because of that woman. Pareho kayong niluluko niya at Jack abide her wishes kasi mahal niya si Lyndi at ayaw niyang iwasan siya at ilayo sa kanya ang anak nila."

"Paano mo nalaman ang lahat yan, if you are just the best friend of the guy?"

Even though everything makes sense, ayaw kong magpadalos dalos sa aking desisyon. I have to be open minded and know all the side of the story.

"I heard them talking sometimes nong nagpunta ako kila Jack. Dun narinig ko sa usapan nila and Jack told me. Ako ang sumbungan niya sa kanyang problem."

"That woman is a hustler and she uses him and she uses you."

"Ano ang motibo mo bakit sinabi mo ito lahat sa akin?

"Wala akong motibo. I just happen to love Jack like my own brother at ayaw ko ang mga ginagawa nila. Lyndi made him like that. She's an ambitious vicious woman. She turns Jack into a different person now."

"Kung di ka naniniwala sa akin sundan mo siya. Alamin mo ang buong katutuhanan at ang bawat kilos ng asawa mo. May pera ka madali lang para sayo malaman ang lahat."

"Kung totoo man ang lahat ng ito, di kita mapapatawad Lyndi. You will pay for fooling me." Sambit ng aking isipan nong nawala ang guy.

Nagpupuyos ang aking kalooban and I need to act on it to know the truth.

Since then, pinasundan ko siya ng hilim sa aking tauhan.

"Boss, confirm narito silang dalawa sa apartment ng lalaki, naglalampungan. Ipapadala ko ang nakuhang pictures nilang dalawa." Saad ng message ng aking tauhan then pictures came in.

When I see the picture of them kissing. Rage is over powering me but I control my emotion. They don't deserve whatever feeling I had. But I won't let this pass. They will soon know who I am kung magalit.

"Gathered all evidences about them. Kahit actual na pagtatalik nila kunin mo." Utos ko sa aking tauhan.

"Sige boss, sundan ko pa. Di ako pwedeng magtagal dito kasi may nakakita sa akin na kapitbahay ng lalaki."

"Lyndi, i have treated you nicely, ipinagtatanggol kita kay Dad and in the end he right with his assumption. Sana nakinig nalang ako sa kanya. You will pay for fooling me."

Next report ng aking tauhan ay nagtatagpo sila sa isang hotel. Kaibigan ko ang may-ari kaya napasok ng aking tauhan ang room. After some time I received a s*x video of them.

Akala ko kaya ko, kasi alam ko na ang totoo but seeing them having a wild s*x, pains me. Masakit pala makita na ang asawa mo, pinagkatiwalaan mo is enjoying having s*x with another man.

I wanted to confront them right there but I have to control my feelings. Baka ano pang magawa ko seeing them right now in my state of mind. They are not worth it.

"Take a lot of evidence, send it to me everything including their conversation and photos.

In that instant I confirm her cheating and possible totoo ang sinabi ng lalaki na that she just uses me for money. What a gold digger b***h. And meeting her was a planned by Tristan.

Fucked, naluko ako but I see to it na wala siyang makukuha na isang kusing sa akin. She will pay for lying to me at sa pagtraydor niya sa akin.

She hasn't seen yet kung ano ang magagawa ko sa kanya.

All what I felt for her was gone, left is the rage consuming in my heart.

I gathered more evidences. Di ako umuwi sa bahay kasi di ko kayang tinggan ang mukha niya.

One time, umuwi ako at naruruon siya.

I wanted to strangle her neck, nagpupuyos ang damdamin ko sa galit but I hold myself. I want this woman out of my sight. She has no right to stay in my place.

"Sino ang ama ng ipinagbubuntis mo?" Mariin kong tanong as soon as I see her smiling at me. Bakas ang galit sa aking mukha.

"Rox what do you mean? Sympre ikaw, sino pa ba?" Malambing niyang salita. At akmang hahalikan ako but I pushed her.

What a snake, magaling umarte ang babaing ito, akala siguro niya madadala niya ako sa lambing.

"Really, how do you explain this?" Pinarinig ko ang conversation nila ng lalaki niya. In that conversation pinag usapan nila about their unborn child na ipinaako niya sa akin.

"How could you do this to me Lyndi? Akala mo siguro di ko malalaman ang kataksilan mo ano?"

Nakita ko ang biglang takot sa kanya mukha. Dapat lang, she hasn't seen me yet kung paano magalit.

"I want you out of my house. Leave with nothing dahil everything here is owned by me. My property." Uyam kong sabi sa kanya.

"Plano mo pala na perahan ako? Really? What a cheap w***e of a woman you are. Sadly nabuko kita, wala kang makukuha sa akin Lyndi maski isang kusing."

She is speechless.

"Sign this and I will leave you in peace;" sabay bigay ko sa documents na pinaprocess ko sa aking abogado. That she will not get any from me and she will sign the annulment peacefully.

"If I don't sign that what will happen?"

Wow may lakas pa siyang sumagot sa akin.

"I will leak all your photos having intimate with that guy and your s*x videos in the internet, tingnan natin kung sino ang mapapapahiya. Tingnan natin kung may career ka pang babalikan."

Mahina pero may diin na banta ko sa kanya.

"Remember, I have all that documented. You want a proof? See that pictures of you. What a disgusting woman you are. Do you think kapag ma upload yan sa internet di ka pagpistahan ng mga tao? Kaya don't bargain with me." Pasigaw kong sabi na may halong pang-iinsulto.

"You ruin my trust, my love and loyalty to you. Go sign that paper and leave immediately, I don't want to see your face ever again."

Nakita ko ang labis na pagkabahala niya. Di niya akalain na ganito ako kasi halos sa time ng relationship namin siya ang nasusunod.

"Remember Lyndi I have a money, ikaw meron ba? I can ruin your reputation more and that guy as well. Pwede kitang kasuhan ng adultery ngayon din. Pili ka manganganak ka sa kulungan or you will sign that properly ng walang angas."

Nginitian ko siya ng nakakaluko. It's time for her to see the real me. I'm not a saint.

"You don't deserve to get any of what I have earned. Magtrabaho ka para magkapera, don't use anyone's hard work and hard earned money for your ambition, that's cheap." Pang-iinsulto ko pa. She uses me for money huh? That's insulting on my part.

"Rox pwede nating pag-usapan ito. Please forgive me, promise magbabago na ako." Pagmamakaawa pa niyang sabi.

If I didn't know her, possible maaawa na ako ngayon, coz she knows how to manipulate the situation. But I am done with her kind.

"I don't give second chances to those people who doesn't deserve it. Di ako tanga na kukuha ng isang basura. I won't allow myself again to be associated with a low grade woman like you. You are a trashy woman."

I may be harsh with my words but she deserves it. Kulang pa nga, pasalamat siya yan ang ginawa ko. In 2 years of our relationship I am good with her and at the end she just mock me when I'm not looking around.

"Now sign that or ipakaladlad kita sa mga guards dito. I hate your gut. You don't deserve my time." She signed it habang umiiyak.

"Don't spare me with your fake tears, you can't change my mind, w***e. We both know what's real."

A few hours later ng nakaalis sa bahay nabalitaan ko na lang that she had an accident and was found dead upon arrival sa hospital.

Pinalibing ko siya agad, no emotion. I don't know any of her relatives at wala akong pakialam. Walang nakakaalam sa aming away, kaya I just remain silent.

Simula nun, di na ako nagtitiwala pang muli sa isang babae. I treated them the same, especially gold diggers.

But now, here I am again, slowly falling to a woman but I know Yama is different from the rest. She doesn't take advantage of what I can give. Ako pa mismo ang nagpilit sa sarili para mapansin niya.

She is far from being a gold digger kaya I know I made a right decision on chasing her. Kaya lang ako naman ang alanganin kasi ako ang naging kabit niya.

"Di kita bibitawan hanggat kaya ko. Ngayon lang ako umibig muli or baka this is my first time falling in love, had my real emotion kasi I felt things na di ko naramdaman kay Lyndi dati."

Everything with us before is more on lust, s*x but with Yama is different. The urge to care for her, protecting her and wanting to be close to her most of the time is unbearable. I wanted her attention on me alone. I badly needed her love. Ganun kalakas ang tama ko sa kanya and she doesn't even know it.

Natatawa ako sa aking sarili. Kung kailan ako naging matanda saka ako na in-love sa may sabit pa. It is indeed true that love strikes us in the most unexpected way, in the most unexpected time but it was the most amazing feeling I got.

Loving a person fully but in an uncertain time is like a gambling, you don't know if you will win or loss but you still want to risk, that is called a true love.