The pain he now know (TPHNK Book 2)

#7

Chapter 7

"Would that make the pain subside van?"

"No, but this will speed your healing and recovery time." He smiled at me then tapped my head.

Tumayo siya malapit sa IV stand ko and hung another batch of IV. It was not my regular looking dosage kaya i had to ask. Napangiwi ako when he slowly pulled out the needle on my pulse and replaced it with a thicker one. I just stared at it as he injected it under my skin, like it was just normal for me. Kung noon ay halos ayaw kong gumalaw dahil sa takot na mabali, ngayon ay sanay na ako.

"Si daddy?" Mahinang tanong ko. Nawala naman ang ngiti niya.

"Ilang weeks pa lang siyang wala zeph"

Sumandal ako sa hospital bed and i slightly moaned feeling the comfiness on my back. "Seems like forever"

"You're overreacting." He pulled up a chair and sat beside my bed. "Besides, nandito naman ako e. Hindi kita pababayaan dito." He comoforted. Napangiti ako ng marahan.

"Van?" Tawag ko pagkalipas ng ilang minuto.

"Hmm?"

"Sa tingin mo. Gagaling pa ba ako?" Tingin ko sa kaniya.

"Oo naman, ano ka ba! Be positive. Walang mangyayari kung ganiyan ka ka pessimistic" pamapalakas loob niya. "Let the chemo does it's magic"

"I don't think it's doing it's work van. I feel weaker each passing day. Normal pa ba 'to?"

"Weak? Bakit hindi mo sinasabi mo sa'kin na ganiyan pala ang nararamdaman mo?" Inis niyang sabi. Iniwas ko ang tingin ko.

"Do you think i would be back to my normal life once I will be done here? I mean, may chance kaya na babalik pa ang cancer cells ko after kong maoperahan?"

"Bakit mo naman naitanong?"

"Wala naman. Kasi siguro hindi ko kakayanin kapag bumalik pa. This isn't just a normal operation van. May mawawala sa'kin. Something in me is in stake here. Gusto ko lang makasigurado" tinaas ko yung tingin ko at hinawakan siya sa kamay. "Answer me. Not as my doctor, but as a friend."

He looked at me for a couple of minutes. It took him minutes before he can retrieve his slight smile back and shook his head.

"Hi zeph. You're awake! Kamusta pakiramdam mo?" Greeted by a soft voice. My eyes were a bit blurry and my throat was running dry but i still managed to moan. The pain in my abdomen is what's keeping me from uttering a word. I felt something in me lost. I felt uncomfortable, incomplete.

I tried roaming my eyes without moving my head. Napansin ko kung gaano kadilim ang kwarto na aking kinaroroonan. It was so silent and the only thing that i can hear is the sound of the machines working. I just blinked for a couple of seconds at si dad na yung nakita ko instead of van.

"Princess. It's daddy. I'm glad that you're operation is successful" he smiled softly and i felt something warm enveloping my shivering hands. I concluded that it was his.

Ilang segundo pa ay bigla na naman akong nakaramdam ng antok kaya pinikit ko na yung mga mata ko.

I opened my eyes at nakita ko yung sarili kong nakaupo sa aking hospital bed kaharap ang isang doktor at dalawang nurses. Van and dad was beside me. With all smiles almost reaching their ears.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa doktor na nakangiti din sa akin. One of the nurses started to walk towards my IV at nagtaka ako nang hawakan niya ang aking kamay at dahan-dahang kinuha ang karayom mula sa aking pulsuhan.

"W-what—ano 'to?" Binalingan ko ang ama. "Dad?"

"First of all, we are all thankful of you for choosing our hospital and trusting me as your doctor ms. Nava. It was so nice to meet you and be part of your journey but i suggest that maybe you would not see me again?"

"Are you breaking up with me doc?" I joked making the old doctor laugh, so was the nurses. Umiling-iling lang ang aking mga katabi.

"No, goodness child!" The doctor cracked up. "Congratulations Ms. Nava! You're all healed up!"

"A-ano? Ano ho ang ibig niyong s-sabihin?" I was just too shocked at his statement na nakapagtagalog na ako knowing na foreigner yung doktor ko.

"Magaling ka na zeph!" Van shouted but i was too overwhelmed na hindi agad ako naka react. I was too happy to even utter anything. I imagined all my struggles. Looking back to all my therapies, my first day here, my nervousness during chemo. It was too sudden! It was a sudden news that made me tear up.

A tear rolled down my eyes. Sinundan ko iyon ng tingin sa kung saan iyon nahulog. On my sheets. Pagtaas ko ng tingin ay natagpuan ko ang sarili na nasa ibang setting na naman. In my room back in our place in the U.S.

I saw myself packing up with all smiles, i was glowing than ever. Gone the pale zephyrine. I was holding this familiar, oversized polo shirt. Dahan-dahan ko iyong tinupi at maingat na nilagay sa pinakaibabaw ng aking maleta.

I forgot how joyful i was that day but one thing's certain, i was somewhat excited about something to happen that I can't take my smile off my face.

Last luggage left, tumayo ako at tumungo sa closet. Napakapit ako sa handle ng cabinet nang makaramdam ng pagkahilo. I blinked a couple of times but my blurry vision just wouldn't clear out. Napahawak ako sa noo. Sinubukan kong huminga ng malalim para makalma ang sarili. I squealed and tried to get a hold on something bago ako nabuwal sa pagkakatayo at napahiga sa sahig.

Napatayo ako sa hospital bench nang makitang lumabas sila van at daddy galing sa office ng aking doktor. I looked at them concerned as i tried to read what's on their minds.

"What is it? Anong sabi niya?" Tanong ko.

No response. They just stared at two things, either my face, or the floor. May concern sa kanilang mga mata habang nakatingin sa akin. Van looked away when i looked at him. Naglakad ang ama papunta sa akin at tinapik ang aking balikat. Seconds later, i just saw myself being hugged by my father tightly.

"I'm sorry princess. I'm so sorry. I failed" he whispered on my ear as his voice started to c***k.

Ngayon ay nakaupo ako ng matuwid habang nasa harapan ng aking doktor sa loob ng dalawang taon. Pinagmamasdan niya lang ako na may konsensya sa kaniyang mga mata.

Inayos niya ang suot na glasses and massaged his already wrinkled forehead. I can't help but feel nervous because of their reaction. They all have they same reaction when they look at me. Pity.

"I'm sorry ms. Nava. But I'm afraid you have to stay here again for awhile." Nagdadalawang isip niya pang sabi.

"What? What are you saying doc?" I asked forehead creased. I licked my dry lips habang tumataas baba na yung dibdib sa sobrang nerbyos.

"I'm sorry. But you're cancer.." umiwas siya ng tingin na tila nakokonsensya "i—I didn't know why it happened! I was certain when i told you the news. I checked everything! Your ultrasound, MRI, everything! I—"

"What about my cancer?" I tried to keep my voice tough even though i wanted to just cry. I already predicted this okay? But van said.. van said hindi na iyon mauulit pa! He lied to me?

"It recurred. Your cancer recurred."

"n-no! H-hindi! You're lying! You're all lying!"

"Ms. Nava—"

Umiling-iling lang ako ng mabilis habang walang tigil ang pagdaloy ng luha sa aking pisngi. Nanginginig na ako sa sobrang lungkot. Sa sobrang galit at sa sobrang dissapointment. Hinahabol ko na din ang paghinga ko dahil sa sobrang bigat na nakadagan sa aking dibdib. This pain was immeasurable and severe compared to the pain i felt after my operation, when my stitch was just healing.

"Princess wake up! Zeph!"

A strong tap on my body made my head dizzy and as i looked at the doctor in front of me, he was beginning to be a blur as i shifted away from that place.

Wide eyes and panting, my eyes shot at my dad who was beside me and looking at me, concerned evident on his eyes. Nang makitang may malay na ako, he shot his head backwards at minsahe ng mariin ang dalawang mata gamit ang daliri. Like it was a relief seeing me awake.

I hastily crawled and leaped on my father's arms. Uncontrollably, i began to sob as a pool of tears starts to roll down my cheeks. My body was so tensed, i was feeling cold and i was shaking in panic. Petrified.

"Shh...it's okay princess. Daddy's here" he hushed as he combed my hair to it's tips.

Hindi ako nagsalita at nagpatuloy lang sa kakaiyak. For some reason, hindi ko mapigilan, hindi ko magawang tumigil. Masakit sa dibdib at kailangan kong pakawalan ang bigat sa pamamagitan ng pag-iyak.

"Same dream?"

Tumango ako sa balikat niya.

"Nightmares?"

"M-memories" i whispered at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa ama. Sunod-sunod ang paglunok while starting feel nauseous again.

"I'll just get your tub" pinigilan ko siya kaagad ng aakmang tatayo pa lang siya. "Don't leave."

"Are you sure?" Pag-aalala niya. "I don't want you throwing up on your sheets princess. That would add up to the maid's work." Suklay niya sa buhok ko. Umiling ako.

"Wag na dad. I'm calm. It's not necessary" nakakapagod na magsuka. Kaya ako nangangyat eh.

"Okay. If you say so" he said hesitantly pero bumalik na din naman sa pagkakaupo sa harapan ko. Pero nakita kong nilabas niya ang kaniyang phone at nagdial doon. He looked at me habang nilalapit niya ang kaniyang tenga sa phone. Kinuotan ko siya ng noo.

"Hello van? Sorry to wake you up but can you come here please? Nag-aalala ako sa kaibigan mo"

Nakasunod lang yung tingin ko sa ama. Hindi ko na pinigilan dahil gusto ko din naman na nandito si van. He helps me stay calm.

"Yes. Same nightmares. Yes, do that please. Okay, okay. Thank you" aniya bago binaba ang tawag.

"Anong sabi niya?"

"He will be here any minute now. Sabi niya your medication is on the second drawer to your left. Inomin mo daw." Tumango-tango ako. Only van knows where my medicines are.

"I'll just get you a glass of water." Ani ng ama at tumayo na.

"Ang tigas naman kasi ng ulo mo zeph eh!" Pagalit na sabi ng kaibigan kinaumagahan. Dumating siya kagabi siguro mga 20 minutes after. Wala naman siyang ginawa dahil kumalma na din naman ako kaya natulog na lang kami. Hindi niya ako masermonan kagabi kaya ngayong umaga niya ginawa.

"Kasalanan ko ba 'yon van? E sa hindi naman iyon maiwasan eh!"

"Maiiwasan yon! Kung hindi lang matigas ang ulo mo at ginawa yung inadvice ng doktor mo na lumayo sa stress!"

Inirapan ko siya. "Edi lumayo ka sa'kin! Mas nakaka stress ang makita ang pagmumukha mo ki aga-aga!"

Inirapan niya din ako pabalik.

"I'm being serious here zeph. Stop that." Napanguso ako sa pagbabanta sa boses niya. He looks like someone na napipikon na sa mga pambabara ko. "Why won't you take a break?"

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Have fun. Relax! Wag ka munang magpakita kay kage tutal hindi ka naman niya pinapansin. Nasasayang lang ang effort mo. At gas."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Children, enough with that. Nasa harap tayo ng pagkain oh." Saway ng daddy kaya sabay kaming napatahimik at kumain na lang.

"Saan mo ko dadalhin?" Reklamo ko nang hatakin niya ako palabas ng bahay at pinasakay sa kaniyang sasakyan.

"Maghahanap tayo ng restaurant" sagot niya.

"Restaurant? Kakatapos lang kaya nating kumain ng breakfast!"

"Okay, fine. Edi Magmo mall tayo" he said starting his car engine.

"Momol? Sige ba!" Biro ko sabay tawa ng malakas. Nilingon ko siya at may disgusto sa kaniyang inosenteng mukha.

"Maghunos dili ka nga zephyrine! Nakakadiri kang babae ka!" Tili niya kaya mas lalo lamang akong natawa.

"I was thinking about what you've said."

"Which one?" Taka niya.

"The take a break thingy"

"Oh yeah? What about it?" He said without looking at me. He was focused on the road.

"I'm considering it. Gusto ko din namang magpahinga muna. It's been too long. Nakalimutan ko na din kung ano ang feeling na mag relax"

"That's good. What do you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking about the beach. Here" ani ko sabay labas ng isang invitation. "Come with me. Inimbita ako ng isang kaibigan. She will be having a beach wedding"

"Sinong kaibigan?" Tanong niya na hindi man lang tinitinganan ang nakalahad na invitation sa harapan niya. Napasimangot ako at tinago na lang iyon sa bag.

"You probably don't know her. I just met her anyways. Pero naalala mo yung kliyente ko? Na kaibigan ng pinsan ko na nag recommend sakin? Siya yun, yung gagawan ko ng gown"

"Ahh" tango-tango niya. "Sure. Sasama ako. I want to meet this friend of yours."

"Nice! This will be fun! Ipapakilala ko na din sayo yung pinsan ko." Excited kong sabi.

"Sure. Ikaw bahala" and that was the end of our short talk dahil nakarating na kami sa mall. I looked outside the window at nawala ang ngiti sa aking labi nang matantong parehong mall iyon na palaging pinupuntahan namin ni kage noon.

Huminga ako ng malalim at bumaba na ng sasakyan. Pumasok kami ng mall habang nakapalibot ang aking kamay sa braso ng kaibigan. We didn't mind though, sanay na kami sa ganito. Others think that we are in a relationship dahil palagi kaming magkasama pero para sa amin, wala lang, normal lang ito.

We passed by a familiar candy stall at tila kuminang yung mga mata ko dahil sa dami at makukulay na mga candies. Hinila ko si van doon at bumili ako ng sour belt, it was my favorite. And how i missed it.

In the hallway full of designer stuffs, halos mabali yung leeg ko sa kakalingon. My eyes were twinkling in desire at nakaawang ang aking labi habang nakatingin sa mga bag at mga limited edition na mga heels.

Napasimangot ako nang may kamay na biglang humarang sa aking mata, blocking my view from heaven. It was van's.

"Nawa'y gabayan ka ng panginoon sa tamang landas." Ani nito at hinampas ko naman ang kamay niya paalis. Hinawakan niya ako sa magkabilang balikat at tinulak palayo doon while singing "oh tukso, layuan mo ako~"

"Ano ba van! Oo na! Bitawan mo na ako! Malayo na tayo oh!" Naiinis kong sabi. Badtrip!

"Good"

"So anong gagawin natin dito? Bakit mo pa ako kinaladkad dito kung hindi pala tayo bibili?" Halukipkip ko.

Tumingin siya sa aking gilid na tila nag-iisip. Ilang segundo pa ay biglang gumuhit ang ngisi sa kaniyang labi na tila may naisip na kapilyuhan.

"Don't roam around too much. Wala akong tiwala sa pagmumukha mo."

"I'm not" i said bitterly habang nanghihina na nakatingin sa isang designer scarf sa harapan. I couldn't keep my hands to myself kaya hinawakan ko.

"Huli ka!"

"Ay puch—s**t ka!"

Tumawa naman ng malakas ang kaibigan.

"Bawal 'yan! Don't be a cheater"

"I'm not cheating! Hinawakan ko lang. hindi ba pwede 'yon?"

"Aww! Kawawa ka naman. Sige na nga. Hawak lang a? Tandaan mo, hindi ka pwedeng bumili"

"Oo na!" I whimpered as i touched the silky cloth of that mini scarf. Bet it would look good on my hair. "It's okay baby. Babalikan kita bukas" ani ko dito.

Tumalikod na ako and decided na tumingin na lang sa sahig para makaiwas sa tukso. In that way I wouldn't get to see all the beautiful things surrounding me.

"Ano? Okay ka pa?" Ngisi ng kaibigan habang busy sa pagbabayad ng kaniyang pinamili.

"Oo. Basta tumupad ka lang sa usapan, okay ako"

"Oo naman" he said. May pagkakasunduan kasi kami na hindi daw ako bibili ng kahit na ano ngayon. Not even a small-sized christian Dior wallet. I don't know, maybe he just woke up this morning and decided to start his day by teasing me. Palibhasa walang trabaho ngayon.

He knew about my shopping addiction, that's why he's testing my patience. Pinagbawalan niya akong bumili pero sinama niya ako sa halos lahat ng designer stores dito sa mall at pinaglalaway ako sa mga 'yon, while he shops for his own. That's how he enjoys teasing me.

He made a wager, and what would i get from it?

A date with kage.

Sabi niya, gagawan niya daw ng paraan. I trust him. Lahat naman kasi nagagawan niya ng paraan kaya tiwala ako. That's how i badly wanted to have an alone time with kage.

"Let's go?" Aya niya habang dala-dala lahat ng pinamili niya.

"Finally!" at nauna na akong lumabas.

"Oh! One last shop." Tumigil sa saglit sa paglalakad.

"Ano na naman!" Pikon ko. "Saan!"

"Sephora" aniya.

"No way!" I shouted. "Hell no!" Hindi ko alam kung mako control ko pa ba ang sarili ko doon. I love clothes, but i love make up more.

"The deal zeph" he said as if reminding me.

"E hindi ka naman nagme make up eh! Tigilan mo nga ako!" Ani ko at nag walk out na. Natatawa niya naman akong sinundan. I know he was just teasing me pero nakakapikon siya.

Pumasok ako sa isang restaurant habang siya ay nakasunod lang. umupo ako sa table na pinagdalhan sa amin nung maitre d'.

I was reading the menu when i heard a voice so familiar from a table not so far away from us. Liningon ko iyon at nagulat ako na makita si kage at si charm na nandoon. I groaned in annoyance. Bakit ba kapag nasa restaurant ako ay palagi ko silang nakikitang dalawa? Is this a sick joke?

"Tumayo ka na diyan. Aalis na tayo" utos ko sa kaibigan.

"Ano? Bakit naman? Hindi pa nga tayo nakakapag order eh" Kunot noo niya.

"Basta! Tumayo ka na! Maghahanap na lang tayo ng ibang restaurant. Madami naman dito e" ani ko sabay tayo.

"Ang gulo mo zephyrine. Dito na lang. Nakapwesto na ako e."

"Bilis na kasi! Baka makita pa nila tayo! Masabihan na naman akong stalker." Irap ko at dinampot na ang kaniyang mga pinambili.

"Nino?" I figured out na hindi talaga siya gagalaw hanggat hindi ko sinasabi sa kaniya. I looked to the direction where the two was at. Nagtatakang sinundan niya naman iyon ng tingin. Umawang ang kaniyang mga labi.

"Is that kage? And that girl... is that the girl from the auction? Teka—bakit sila magkasama?"

"That's charm"

His mouth shaped in a "o"

"You mean, the b***h charm you always tell me about? Oh gosh! Ang pangit na pala sa malapitan no? Kita ang pores. Yuckiness!" Napatawa ako sa sinabi ng kaibigan.

"Grabe naman yung mata mo" tawa ko. "Bilis na. Tumayo ka na diya—oh s**t!" Mura ko nang makitang dumako ang tingin ni kage dito sa amin. Kaya wala akong nagawa kundi ilapag ulit ang shopping bags ni van at bumalik na lang sa pagkakaupo. Wala na, kita na kami e. Alangan namang aalis pa kami, baka akalain nun takot ako sa kaniya.

I tried acting calm, hindi ko pinahalata na kinakabahan ako at nagpapanic dahil lang sa nahuli ako.

"Tumitingin ba?" Pasimple kong bulong sa kaibigan. Tumingin naman siya sa banda nila.

"Don't look at them!" Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata.

"Bopols ka ba zephyrine!? Paano ko masasabing nakatingin kung hindi ko titingnan!" He rolled his eyes at me.

"Ano?" I inquired.

"Oo, Nakatingin...sayo. Oops! Yung babae din, tumingin, umirap!" Aniya hanggang sa nagulat ako ng umayos siya ng upo. "Umayos ka zeph! Papunta yung bebe mo dito!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

"Anooo?!" I whispered, half shouting at mabilis na dinampot ang menu at tinabon sa aking mukha.

Narinig ko pa ang bahagyang tawa ng kaibigan hanggang sa namataan ko ang paa na tumigil sa harapan namin.

"Good evening" said by a deep voice. Napalunok ako. hindi tinaas ang tingin, kunwari nasa menu pa din ang attensyon.

"Yes? Good evening. Who might you be?" Narinig kong pansin ng kaibigan sa pormal na boses. Pinalalim din nito ang kaniyang boses.

Hindi nagsalita ang kausap kaya tinaas ko yung tingin ko at kumalabog ng husto ang aking dibdib nag makitang nakatingin ito sa akin.

"Hi" was all i can say. Tumikhim ako bago ibinika ulit ang bibig. "Why are you here? What can i do for you?" Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagiging maamo ng boses.

"we need to talk" Aniya na nagpagulat sa akin.

"Talk?" Agad kong sabi. Did i heard it right? He was us to talk? Tiningnan ko si van para makasiguro kung tama nga ba ang narinig ko. He just shrugged at me. "Ano naman ang gusto mong pag-usapan?"

Is this true? Gusto niya kaming mag-usap? Ano naman kaya nakain niya? What changed his mind?

His gaze shifted to van. Nakasunod lamang ang tingin ko.

"Mag-uusap tayo." He seemed impatient now.

"I heard you. S-sige. Uh..you can take a seat. Here" i was starting to panic when he spoke.

"Privately"

"Ngayon? P-pero..may kasama ako?"

I can't just ditch my friend. That's an immoral thing to do.

"It's okay zeph. Doon na lang ako sa kabilang table. I'll just leave our things here" awkward na paalam ni van. He took a last look nod at me before he got up from my seat transferring to another.

Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas bago umalis ang kaibigan ay tahimik lamang kaming dalawa. Na conscious naman ako kay hindi ako masyadong nagagalaw. I just kept my gaze down.

Napatingala ako nang bigla na lang siyang tumayo.

"Lilipat tayo ng restaurant. Follow me"

Hindi na ako nakapagtanong pa dahil mabilis na siyang naglakad kaya sumunod na lang din ako ng walang imik. Hinihingal akong umupo sa harapan niya nang makapasok kami sa restaurant na napili niya.

"Who was that?" He uttered in an authoritative voice.

"Who? Van?" I looked at him at magkasalubong ngayon ang kilay niya.

"Your boyfriend?" Sandal niya sa upuan. Agad naman akong umiling.

"H-hindi! kaibiga—"

"That's why I haven't seen you for days. You were busy going out dates with him"

I looked at him unbelievably.

"And what is it to you? Ano naman kung boyfriend ko siya?" I eyed him, testing his reaction.

He didn't replied anything to that. Tinawag niya ang waiter at Pagkatapos mag order ay hindi niya na ako tiningnan pa ulit.

"Kamusta ka na?" Ani ko. Matagal ko ng gustong itanong sa kaniya iyon. Nung unang beses ko pa lang siyang makita.

"Ano sa tingin mo?" Suplado niyang tugon.

"I like your new look. The stubbles. It makes you look more mature" bahagya kong ngiti para man lang mabawasan ang tensyon na namamagitan sa amin.

"I don't know if i could say the same thing to your hair" dahil sa sinabi ay wala sa sariling napahawak ako sa maikling buhok.

"Oh..yeah. I'm sorry, i know how you wanted it long. I didn't tend for this to happen. I mean, I didn't mean to cut it."

The corner of his mouth rose unbelievably.

"Paano mo ako nakakausap na parang normal lang? How can you sleep at night knowing..." pinikit niya ng mariin ang mga mata sabay buga ng marahas na hangin.

Napayuko ako. "I'm sorry"

"Let's just get this over with. Nilapitan kita kasi gusto kong sabihing layuan mo na kami. I don't want you near me or charmaine again. Siguro naman magagawa mo 'yon diba? I have already done so many favors for you, it's time that you do the same."

"W-what? No! I won't!" I slightly shouted.

"I don't want to see you again."

His words stung kaya hindi agad ako nakatugon.

"You were asking me how i was? Then let me tell you, I'm not fine. I feel like s**t! The feeling of seeing you once again after five years is like i wanted to wake up from a bad dream"

"You don't mean that" naluluha kong pilit.

Tinitigan niya ako ng mariin. I can sense unexplainable anger in his eyes.

"You left me in the rage of confusion and self doubts" he stated.

"I know. I know love" i tried reaching for his hand pero nilayo niya iyon. "And I'm sorry. Patawarin mo 'ko. There's so many things that you don't know."

"Then tell me. Explain to me you reason because you wouldn't have the same chance twice. Stop crying and start explaining"

Pinahidan ko ang aking luha.

"H-hindi ko pwedeng sabihin. Hindi ko kaya!"

Tiningnan niya lang ako pagkatapos nun. Ilang segundo pa ay aakma na siyang tatayo.

"Oo na! Sasabihin ko na! Wag kang umalis please." I saw the corner of his lips quirk up. "Because.. because i wanted to make my dreams come true. Yun lang!"

"Asan?"

"Alin?" Kunot noo ko,

"Yung pangarap mo. Where's your dream?"

Bahagya akong nasaktan doon. My pride, that's the only thing i have left and he just shattered it with those simple words.

Dahan-dahan akong umiling.

"That's unacceptable zeph. You know what? maybe if you went home thinking na natupad mo yung mga pangarap mo. That you opened up your dream boutique na palagi mong sinasabi sa'kin noon baka natanggap ko pa. Because you left me for it, iniwan mo ko para doon ika mo nga, you should've made it worth it you know? Para naman worth it yung pang-iiwan mo. Baka sakaling natanggap ko pa."

"I know what you're implying kage. I know. And i failed. Pero wala kang karapatang maliitin ako dahil natupad mo yung sayo" i said looking sideways. I wouldn't want him to see the pain in my eyes.

Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari sa kaniya pero saglit siyang tumahimik. Ilang saglit pa ay dumating na din yung order namin.

"I hope the food here tastes horrible. So I won't remember it ever again." He murmured stirring his soup.

Nanginginig ang kamay na inabot ko yung kutsara at sinimulan na ang pagkain kahit na nawalan na ako ng gana. Napataas ako ng tingin ng bigla na lang siyang tumayo.

"I'm done here" he said at nilapag ang pera sa lamesa. Aakmang tatalikod na siya ng hawakan ko siya sa kamay.

"Kage please. Stay. Kahit ilang minuto lang" my voice was begging, and i hated it.

"You really think that you could just order me around?"

I wasted no time.

"What if i told you that I'm sorry? What if i told u I still love you and i want you back?" Mabilis kong sabi. I was really desperate.

Bahagya siyang natigilan. I thought he was gonna sit back down. But he didn't.

"What was it again? Babalik ako, babalikan kita? You never did, i waited for 3 years zeph, but you didn't." Aniya na hindi lumilingon.

Napalunok ako. He did wait. I'm sorry baby.

"What happened to the 2 remaining years?"

"I gave up."

Kinalas niya ang kamay ko.

"Kage..."

The last thing he said before walking out the restaurant door shattered me...

"You abandoned me once, this time, I'm the one abandoning you."