Please, Forget me Not

CHAPTER 45

Umayos ako ng tayo at humarap sa salamin. Tinitigan ko ang repleksyon ko at huminga nang malalim. I gave myself some pep talk before I went out of the comfort room. Instead of going back to my friends, I walked towards the door leading to the exit. I decided to go home because I need to see Zach and talk to him.

Dahil wala akong dalang sasakyan ay nag-abang na lang ako ng taxi pero walang dumadaan. Habang patuloy na naghihintay, may isang kotse na tumigil sa harapan ko. Bumaba ‘yong salamin no’n at bumugad sa akin ang mukha ni Dreiden sa driver’s seat.

“Why are you outside? Uuwi ka na rin ba?” I nodded my head to his question. “Get in the car, I’ll take you home.” Hindi ako tumanggi sa alok niya at agad na pumasok sa kotse niya.

“Why are you going home alone? Where’s Algid?” he asked while I’m busy fixing my seat belt.

“He’s still inside.”

“Bakit uuwi ka na agad?”

“I have something to do back home. Ikaw? Bakit ang aga mo naman yatang umuwi? As far as I remember, you’re not the type to go home this early.” I mocked as I raised my brow.

“Khy, noon ‘yon. People change,” natatawang aniya.

Saglit lang ang naging byahe namin. Nang makarating sa tapat ng bahay ko ay nagpasalamat ako sa kaniya at nagpaalam na bago pumasok sa loob.

Dumiretso ako sa darkroom at kinuha ‘yong isang box na pinaglalagyan ko ng mga pictures namin ni Zach na hindi ko pa nailalagay sa photo album. I’m thinking I would need them to make Zach remember me. Binuhat ko ‘yon palabas at dumiretso na sa bahay nila Zach.

Mukhang sinuswerte ako nang matanaw ko si Zach na mag-isang nakaupo sa patio nila pagkapasok ko pa lang ng gate. Mabilis akong lumapit sa kaniya at ibinaba ‘yong box na dala ko sa lamesa. Halata ang gulat sa kaniya nang makita ako.

“Why are you here?” nagtatakang tanong niya.

“We need to talk,” sagot ko. I saw him look at his wristwatch before shifting his gaze to me.

“At this hour? We can talk tomorrow. It’s late.”

“No, I won’t be able to wait until tomorrow. I need to talk to you right now, Zach,” I firmly stated.

“What are we going to talk about that you can’t wait until tomorrow?” he asked, uninterested. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”

“We have a lot to discuss, Zach!” I raised my voice. “We will talk about our love! About our relationship. About our dreams… About everything you forgot.” Ramdam ko na ang pagbabara ng lalamunan ko.

“There’s nothing like that, Khyrss. I don’t know how else I should explain to you that I don’t remember anything! There’s nothing like that because I don’t remember them!”

“Then I will make you remember it!”

I shook my head as I opened the box I brought with trembling hands. “Look at these pictures and you will see the relationship we had.” I bring out a handful of pictures.

“It’s not me,” he said coldly. My heart sank.

“Then who do you think this man is?” I showed him our pictures. “Who is this man?” tanong ko at inilapag ‘yon sa harapan niya.

“Zach, who is this? Who is it?” I showed him another picture of us, tears already pooling in my eyes.

“Who is this, Zach? If it’s not you, who is this person then?” paulit-ulit na tanong ko habang isa-isa kong nilalabas ‘yong mga pictures namin sa box at inilalapag sa harapan niya.

“I don’t know, but it’s definitely not me! This person…. the person you are talking about is not me!”

“Zach, alam mong ikaw ‘yan!” I insisted. Why is he acting like this? Hindi ganito ang reaksiyon niya noong una niyang nakita ang photo album namin. Before, he was so eager to know the stories behind them. What happened now?

“I don’t remember such a person, therefore, it’s not me!”

“Zach…” I uttered his name painfully as I no longer knew what to say anymore to convince him.

“Stop whatever you’re trying to do. I’m a different person now and the person in that picture is already gone!”

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinabi niya. Parang sinasabi niya sa akin na ‘yong Zach na mahal na mahal ako noon at siya ay magkaibang tao na. Na hindi ko na dapat ipagpilitan ‘yong sarili ko sa kaniya dahil hindi naman siya ‘yong Zach na kilala ko.

“Don’t do this, please?” I begged as I cried hard.

“You have to accept everything that’s in front of you. I’m not the Zach you used to know. I’m not the one who’s in love with you. He’s gone, Khyrss. ”

Marahas akong umiling. “No, hindi ka ibang tao, nakalimutan mo lang ang lahat, pero ikaw pa rin ‘yong Zach na mahal na mahal ako. I won’t give up on us.” Pinunasan ko ang nanlalabo kong mga mata dahil sa luha at dumampot ulit ng litrato namin.

“Look at this, look how you are in love with me.” Pinagpipilitan kong ipakita ‘yong picture sa kaniya pero wala siyang ibang ginagawa kung hindi ang mag-iwas ng tingin.

“Zach, why don’t you look at this? And see it for yourself how very much in love you are with me. It might trigger your memories.”

“I told you I’m not the same Zach who’s in love with you!” he shoved the picture away at nalaglag ‘yon sa sahig.

“Yes, you are!” I cupped his face. “Zach, look at me…” I was crying as I forced him to face me. “Look me in the eye… please? It’s me—Kaiah. I’m Kaiah, the love of your life,” namamaos ang tinig na sabi ko. “Why can’t you remember me?”

“If I really loved you before, I should feel something for you even if I forget you, but I don’t feel anything at all.”

Umiling-iling ako.

“Oo, tanggap ko na wala ka nang nararamdaman para sa akin ngayon. But stop denying what he had just because you can’t remember it. You loved me, Zach. We’re so happy in each other’s arms. The love we shared was all pure and genuine. I’m sure of it,” wika ko sa nanghihinang boses. I never felt so drained like this before. I felt so tired from everything.

Napahawak siya sa sentido niya at minasahe ‘yon.

“Okay, let’s say I really loved you before. So what’s the point when I can’t remember it? You have to accept that It’s all in the past now. Hindi mo na ‘yon maibabalik. I’m not the same Zach you used to know. ‘Wag ka nang umasa na mahuhulog pa ulit ako sa’yo.”

I swallowed painfully at naglakas-loob na itanong sa kaniya kung bakit. “Why can’t you fall in love with me a-again?”

He stared at me with his emotionless face before answering me.

I felt my heart suddenly stop beating the moment his answer reached my ears.

“May iba na akong gusto.”