MINK (Soft & Wild)

Wake Up!

ADOLFO'S POV

Doctors have no idea how my daughter made it through those vital 12 hours.

When she took her first breath on her own 3 days later, there was a glimmer of hope.

11 days later, she was strong enough for surgeons to operate her. Nagkaroon siya ng injury sa ulo and a major fracture on her pelvis. Naalala ko pa kung gaano ako kinabahan while waiting for the 6 hours operation.

That time the feeling of waiting was like counting my last minute in this world.

Why I said so?

My daughter is the most valuable treasure that I have.

Thinking na mawala siya sa akin ano mang oras ay tila nakasalang ako sa death row.

The fear, the loneliness is too much to bear.

It's indescribable!

3 weeks later...

After her surgery, I was so glad when she squeezed my hand habang kinakausap ko siya. Sabi kasi ng mga doctor, she's in a state of coma but she can hear. Kaya lagi ko siyang kinakausap, kinukuwentuhan and after that I beg her to wake up.

2 weeks later..

I asked my daughter to show me a sign kung naririnig ba niya ako. Hindi ko mailarawan ang saya ko nang makita kong may pumatak na luha sa gilid ng mata niya.

My heart filled with joy everytime na nagpapakita siya ng sign.

I know magigising ang anak ko. She's strong. She has the power of will to surpass every obstacle. I know kahit kamatayan lalabanan niya.

She won't leave me alone grieving.

I know. I know.

Two months later...

Hindi pa rin nagigising ang anak ko. Sumisikip ang dibdib ko habang pinagmamasdan siya.

Her pale, sickly face remains but still she's so beautiful.

Napaka-peaceful niyang tignan. Kung hindi ko alam na nasa state of coma siya iisipin kong natutulog lang siya ng mahimbing at gigising agad kapag kinatok ang pintuan or kalabitin siya sa braso.

I touched her soft cheek with my shaking hand and all the memories flood back.

Kung gaano ako naalarma at nagpanic matapos akong tawagan ni Manjoe, informing me na isinugod sa hospital ang anak ko unconsciously. Gusto kong panawan ng ulirat that time.

Hindi ko rin napigilan ang sarili kong suntukin ang binatang 'yon.

Tears fall down my face as the overwhelming feeling of sadness and longing for my daughter to wake up, take over me.

Sana, kung sana puwede lang pagpalitin ang sitwasyon namin. Kung sana puwedeng ako na lang ang nakahiga diyan sa hospital bed na 'yan. Kung puwede lang sana, matagal ko nang ginawa.

I'm so frustrated now! Wala akong magawa kundi umasa, magdasal at maghintay na magising siya.

Walang silbi ang limpak-limpak kong salapi kasi hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya nagigising.

"Wake up! Anak, please wake up! I'll stay here as long as it takes just please wake up!"

The bright hospital lights shine brightly through my blurry tears. I lay my head down at my knees and cover my weary eyes as I cry, letting my screams and sobs filled the room. I don't give a damn if somebody can hear me. I don't give a damn about anything except for Feliza, my beloved daughter, my sleeping beauty, my world, my princess, my treasure.

She is what gets me

up in the morning, she is the sun shining through the dark, she is the only real happiness that I can say I have.

I love my daughter. Para sa kanya lahat ng pagsusumikap ko. I cant lose her.

I lean over one more time and talk to her. Alam ko nakikinig siya.

"Anak you need to wake up. Pagpaplanuhan pa natin ang 17th birthday mo, right? Ilang weeks na lang ba anak?

3 weeks, tama ba? Magigising ka 'di ba? Ayaw mong magcelebrate dito sa hospital 'di ba? Anak masyado nang mahaba ang tulog mo.

4 months na, princess! I miss your voice already. I miss your laughters."

Yumukyok ako sa gilid ng bed na kinahihigaan niya. I'm crying like there's no tomorrow.

A rustle of the bed covers brings my attention. I move my hands away from my eyes. The darkness leaving my eyesight. The fluorescent hospital lights blind me at first and caused me to squint.

My eye sight clears.

Oh God!

Feliza's dark brown hair shifts as her eyes flutter open and her head moves away from the lights. She squints her face but then stares directly in my eyes, hers growing wider. Her mouth moves slowly, breaking into tears.

"D-Dad-dy. ...."

Nakaawang ang bibig ko dahil sa sobrang pagkabigla at saya.

Nang makahuma ako, tinawag ko ang doktor para i-check nila ang anak ko.

Thank God, sa wakas nagising na rin ang anak ko!

FELIZA'S POV

I must have overslept.

The bed feels like a cocoon, wrapping it's warm sheets around me.

I'll get up.

I wanna get up.

Pero bakit ganoon?

Feeling ko ang bigat ng buo kong katawan.

What happened?

With every passing moment, my sleepy mind reluctantly notices something strange. This isn't my bed!

Where am I?

I want to open my eyes pero hindi ko magawa.

Strange! So strange!

Am I having a nightmare?

Kung bangungot nga ito, kailangan kong gumising.

But I can't move my hands!

I can't move my feet!

"Anak you need to wake up. Pagpaplanuhan pa natin ang 17th birthday mo, right? Ilang weeks na lang ba anak? 3 weeks, tama ba? Magigising ka di ba? Ayaw mong magcelebrate dito sa hospital di ba? Anak masyado nang mahaba ang tulog mo.

4 months na princess! I miss your voice already. I miss your laughters. "

That voice.

My Dad!

He's crying!

My Dad is crying because of me.

4 months na tulog?

That long?

I heard sobs. Palakas ng palakas and I can't take it anymore.

I need to wake up!

I should! I must!

Mabibigat man ang talukap ng mga mata ko, pinilit kong magmulat. Pikit-mulat ako dahil sumalubong ang liwanag galing sa ilaw ng kuwarto.

"D-Dad-dy. .."

Nagawa kong sambitin sa kabila ng nanunuyo kong lalamunan. Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Daddy. Ngunit nang makahuma ay agad niyang tinawag ang doktor.

Itinaas ko ang tatlo kong daliri and pointed to the door. Signalling that I'll be out for 3 weeks, pagsapit ng ika-17th birthday ko.

"I know you can Anak." Naluluhang sabi ni Daddy.

Matapos akong i-check ng doctor, ay siyang pagpasok ng mga taong mahahalaga sa akin. Sina Lolo at Lola na madalas out of the country dahil sa negosyo nila, ang Yaya Ana ko at Sina Tita Ninang Meredith at Tito Ninong Jonathan.

They all burst into tears. Everyone is crying and hugging me.

I'd never seen people so happy like this before. Tila ba nahugutan sila ng sangkatutak na tinik sa dibdib.

Pero bakit ganoon? Hindi ako makaramdam ng tuwa na nagising ako. Para bang nagiging manhid ako sa nangyayari sa paligid ko. It's all so vague.

*******

"Happy birthday!!!"

Hindi magkamayaw na bati nila sa akin.

Since I made such a good progress, the hospital let me out overnight for my 17th birthday. Sad to say, naka-wheel chair pa rin ako.

Hindi hinayaan ng mga mahal ko sa buhay na malungkot ako. They gave me a party actually.

Smelling fresh air for the first time after everything I've been through feels so wonderful.

It feels like freedom, as if parang nabuhay ako ulit. Oh well, this is my second life.

3 weeks after I came out of my coma, I could walk but only with people supporting me.

Nagdaan ang ilang buwan.

I spent four months on a wheelchair while I did lots of physiotherapy to help me build up my strength and get back my coordination.

After 4 months, I stopped using the wheel chair. But it took another 5 months to get my gait, posture and balance right.

Mula nang magising ako sa coma hanggang sa kasalukuyan, hindi ko nakita ni anino man ni Manjoe. Nang tanungin ko si Tita Ninang, napag-alaman ko na

3 days matapos akong isugod sa hospital, ay umalis ng bansa si Ugok kasama ang girlfriend niyang si Fritz.

Sa madaling salita, nagtanan sila!

Hindi ko naman siya masisisi. Katumbas ng pagkahulog ko sa kabayo ang pagkatalo ko sa Deal namin. So as expected, hindi ko siya pakikialaman sa kung ano man ang gusto niyang gawin sa buhay niya.

Okay na sana eh. Wala sana akong pakialam. Hindi naman ako magagalit sa lalaking yun not until I incidentally heard my Dad and Tita Ninang ' s conversation right after my 17th

birthday.

"Ano'ng ibig mong sabihin Adolfo? I thought successful ang isinagawang pelvic surgery kay Feliza" -

Tita Ninang

"Successful nga. ..but..."

"But what Adolfo?"

"Sabi ng Doctor, hindi na raw magkakaanak pa si Feliza "

Tila tumigil ang pag-inog ng mundo ko pagkarinig ko sa sinabi ni Daddy.

Well I tend to feel frustrated, agitated and then feeling like the blood has rushed to my head and my body is ready to get violent.

I feel like I could rip up someone.

I used to be an optimistic person who spend more time thinking about what I do right than what I do wrong. I used to be a very positive person, I will look at the glass as half full. I do not see problems, I see opportunities. I used to have a perception that being positive and always looking at the silver lining helps tremendously in avoiding feelings of hatred and insecurity.

But that was before.

Mula nang malaman ko ang masalimuot na katotohanang iyon, I've been struggling with many difficult feelings. Complex and often painful emotions I could hardly express.

Now I can feel as though I've failed. I'm a failure. I feel as though I'm less of a woman. Ramdam ko na isang napakalaking kabawasan ko bilang babae ang hindi na maranasang magbuntis at magsilang ng sanggol.

I'm worried about my future. May lalaki pa kaya na matatanggap ako sa kabila ng kakulangang iyon?

Sabi nila, the essence of a woman is when she bear a child inside her womb.

Paano 'yong mga kababaihang tulad ko na walang kakayahang magdala ng sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan?

Paano ako? Wala bang kabuluhan ang pagiging babae ko?

Masakit. Masakit tanggapin.

Hindi ko sana papasanin ang ganitong kalagayan kung hindi dahil sa taong iyon.

I hate horses!

I hate equestrian!

And above all, I hate Manjoe Labrador to the core!