Bleeding Heart still Pounds

Bardagulan Moments

"Bakit masyado ka namang seryoso?" I fake a laugh, avoiding to look at his eyes. He was making me feel uncomfortable and a bit startled. Earlier, we were talking about that damn cheap ring and then suddenly, the topic was all about proposing.

Thank God, Ate Maxine interrupt my comversation with Aldwin. May silbi din pala ang pagiging epalog nya. Aldwin politely said to my Mom that he will be off now. My Dad was asleep already because he was a bit drunk. Well, kaunting-kaunti lang ang ininom nya. Sadyang mababa lang ang kanyang alcohol tolerance. Drinking wasn't his habit kasi. My Tito's just forced my Dad to take a shot.

"Ashley, happy birthday." Thrixie, my cousin greeted. I only saw her just now. She was probably in our house earlier. I just didn't notice her because I'm a bit busy entertaining of my classmates.

"Oy, kumain ka na?" I concernly asked.

She did not utter any single word instead, he raised the tupperwares containing my Mom's dish. It serve as a clue that she already eaten. May take-out pa nga sya e.

Thrixie doesn't have a gift for me. It's alright though. Marami naman akong natanggap na gifts from my classmates. Thrixie walked back in her house. It was way near from ours.

I went upstairs particularly in my room. I quickly washed up and wore my sleepwear. Ate Maxine was already up in her bed. She was probably sleeping. Each of my family members were exhausted so they already asleep. After counting some white sheeps, I found myself sleeping. Hugging the giant teddy bear was the reason why I have a sweet dream.

The next morning, I was really boring. I was just opening the gifts that my classmates gave me. All of the gifts were really beautiful and useful to me. Mostly, they gave me a crop topped shirt since they knew that I'm fond of wearing it. I also received a matte liptints from my friends. Si Joyce Ann ang nagbigay sa'kin ng mga tsokolate. It wasn't bad though. At least, she did not forgot my birthday.

"Uy, gucci. Ang rich naman ng nagbigay ne'to sa'yo." Thrixie commented, looking so amused.

I smiled as I reach for the designer paper bag. I never thought that Jake will really spent his money for buying this. I never asked him that I want this kind of stuff. Well, I asked him once but I was joking that time. Hindi ko inakalang seseryosohin nya ang sinabi ko last year.

"Hala! Ang ganda! Pink gucci marmont chain bag 'to e!!! Wahh! Akin na lang 'to. Albor ko na lang sa'yo." Thrixie looked at her reflection on the full length mirror inside my room. She was wearing the gucci bag on her left shoulder. She looked so excited, eyes were hopeful that I will gave this gucci bag to her.

"Hindi pwede Thrix." I answered with finality in my voice.

She looked so sad and down. I was guilty all of the sudden so I gave her at least my matte liptints. Marami pa naman akong liptints na magagamit. After opening all of the presents, the day just quickly ended. Ang bilis ng oras, kanina lang ay umaga pa pero ngayon ay gabi na.

Tomorrow morning was Monday. Wala namang nangyari sa mga araw na ito. Aldwin and I became busy again. Justin gave me his birthday present. Tinupad nya pala talaga 'yung sinabi nya noong birthday ko. Akala ko'y nagjojoke lang sya e.

"May isang salita din pala si Justin e." pagkekwento ko kina Angel habang sinusukat ang pink cropped hooded top na iniregalo nya sa'kin. Recess na ngayon. We were here at the back of our school.

"Hindi kaya! Very wrong ka! Nako, kung alam mo lang kung ano 'yung ginawa nya sa'kin noong Sabado. Paasa sya!" Angel looks like he want to kill Justin or something. Parang malaki ang galit nya rito.

"Ano bang nangyari?" Yeye curiously asked, containing her laugh to herself. Nananadya lang talaga sya sa pagtatanong upang mas lalong inisin si Angel. Others were also laughing as if they really knew what's really happened that night. Only me and Joyce Ann left clueless. Oh right! Magkakasabay nga pala silang umuwi noong Saturday.

"Noong Saturday, may dala syang motorsiklo. Tinanong nya ako kung sasabay daw ba ako, sabi ko naman oo tapos nang pag-akmang sasakay na ako ay bigla nya namang pinaharurot ang kanyang motor. Sabi nya, pinapasabay nya lang daw ako pero hindi nya raw ako pinapasakay. Pilosopo talaga ng juicemother!!!!" Angel close her eyes tightly.

We laugh after we understand why she was really annoyed. So Justin was just playing a gentleman role? Akala ko pa nama'y ihahatid nya si Angel tutal ay may dala syang motorsiklo. Mali pala lahat ng akala ko.

Natapos na rin ang oras ng recess, ganoon din ang time ng lunch. The class hours were also ended. I fixed my things and was about to leave but Aldwin stand infront of my chair. He placed a medium sized of paper bag. My brows furrowed but I still checked what's inside. I saw a small card attached on it so I read it.

Happy birthday Ash

-Ate Eva

"Regalo 'yan ni Ate. Pinapabigay nya sa'yo." Aldwin's voice was a little irritated and mad.

"Bakit ganyan ang tono ng pananalita mo? Galit ka ba sa'kin?" I asked straightly, without any turning points.

"Hindi. Bakit naman ako magagalit sa'yo?" mas lalong kumunot ang kanyang noo.

"Iyon din ang tanong ko." I added.

"Hindi ako galit sa'yo." he looked so sincere but still...

"Bakit nakakunot iyang noo mo?" I asked again, not satisfied of his words.

"Pa'nong hindi ako magagalit e ang pangit ng iniregalo sa'yo ni Ate. Tingnan mo oh!" Aldwin initiate to get what's inside the paper bag.

Some of my classmates were glancing at me maybe because our voice were a little loud.

Aldwin showed the tropical print mini off-shoulder dress to me. If I will wear this, I will expose too much of my cleavage and neckline. Over all, the mini dress fitted perfectly to me.

"Maganda naman ah! Pakisabi sa Ate mo, salamat. Sabihin mo kamo na makakaasa sya na isusuot ko ito." I fold the mini dress but Aldwin get it again from me.

"Hindi mo ito susuutin." he looked so dead serious.

"Bakit hindi? Ganyan nga ang mga taste ko pagdating sa fashion." inagaw ko ang mini dress sa kanya.

"Ang pangit ng taste mo sa damit Ash." he sounded so disgusted.

"Pake mo ba? Ikaw ba magsusuot? Ha? Ha?" I pointed at his face using the mini dress.

"Hindi, pero girlfriend ko 'yung magsusuot." inis nyang inagaw ang mini dress mula sa kamay ko habang ako, naiwan akong nakatulala lalo pa nang tuksuhin kami ng mga kaklase namin.

I continue to denied about my relationship with Aldwin. I was really tensed while Aldwin was just staying calm, enjoying my panicking reaction. Letse! Paano nya nagagawang kumalma gayong ako'y natataranta na? To make my classmates shut up, I admit that Aldwin was courting me. Thank God, some of my classmates were out of the classroom. Nakauwi na siguro sila!

Some of my classmates were playing the brokenhearted role after knowing that Aldwin was courting me. In our classroom, Aldwin was the heartthrob among all of the boys. Hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit maraming babae ang nagkakagusto sa kanya.

After that stressing situation, Aldwin walked me home again. About the mini-off shoulder dress, Aldwin returned it to Ate Eva. It was a little rude but Aldwin promised that she will explained clearly to Ate Eva. I don't want Ate Eva to comment about me saying I'm so choosy or something worst like that. When I got home, Ate Maxine bought a present for me. Nakapatong iyon sa aking kama kaya't doon agad napako ang aking mga mata. It was a beige pink adidas sneakers. The two pair of shoes fits perfectly on my feets. I must thank Ate tomorrow. I really must.

Iyon na nga ang ginawa ko kinabukasan. Everyone was eating their breakfast on the breakfast table. They all looked so serious as if everyone were in a bad mood.

"Ate, thank you sa gift ha." I said. Everyone looked at me in surprise. I already did my morning care routine. School uniform lang naman ang suot ko from Mon-Fri.

"Small thing." Ate smile a little.

"Anong meron Ma? Bakit ang tahimik?" I asked carefully, afraid that I might worsen their mood.

"Pinapatawag ako sa school niyang Ate mo. Nakipagsabunutan daw iyan sa gate dahil sa isang lalaki." Mom looked so disappointed.

I looked at Ate but she avoid to looked at me. She looked down on her plate, listening to our parent's sermon.

"Honor student ka pa naman Maxine. Paano mo nagawang makipagsabunutan sa kapwa mo babae dahil lang sa isang walang ka-kwenta-kwentang lalaki?" Dad joined the conversation. He put down the newspaper that he was reading a second ago.

Ate Maxine don't have the courage to speak. She decided to not defend herself to not worsen the situation.

"Siguraduhin mo lang na hindi makakaapekto iyang eskandalo na ginawa mo sa grado na makukuha mo. Dapat sa second quarter, with honors ka pa rin." Dad looked so damn scary. Pati tuloy ako ay natakot kahit na hindi naman ako ang sinesermonan.

"Honey, tama na ang pagpepressure mo kay Maxine. Maiba ako, Ashley sweetheart, kailan nga pala ang second periodical examination nyo?" Mom darted her serious eyes to me.

I swallowed the lump on my throat. Pressure is in me again! There she goes again! There they goes again!

"In four weeks, I think." I was uncertain.

"Ah, ganu'n ba?" Mom asked again and so I nodded. "Kung ganoon ay pag-igihan mo ang iyong pag-aaral para with honors ka pa rin sa second grading."

I just gave her a slow nod. I suddenly lost my appetite so I exit myself out of the conversation. Whenever my parents pressuring me, I really had a bad day. They used that I am with honors every quarter so I am afraid that I might disappoint them. What will gonna happen if I failed to reach their expectations? Are they going to treat me as a shame of the family? Ugh, I don't want that to happen.

To avoid that to happen, I spent most of the days studying in school. I always listen to my teacher's discussion. I easily understand every lessons except some lesson in Math. Ugh, numbers were really my weakness. Thank God, Aldwin was there to teach me.

When I got home, I decided to self-study about some of the lessons in Math that I can't easily understand. Aldwin was already teach me earlier but I really can't understood it. Nakakahiya naman kung papaulit-ulitin ko na i-explain sa kanya 'yung lesson kaya naman I put an extra effort to study the lesson.

Monday's night was a short time so I decided that I will stayed up night for the three consecutive days. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday... three days kong inaral ang Math pero wala pa rin akong nagegets. It was Friday when our AP teacher didn't come in our class. My classmates celebrate because they will have a break when it comes in academics. As of me, I don't have the reason to celebrate coz I got stuck in this f*****g lesson in Math. I was really sleepy as of the moment but I don't mind it at all. What's important to me is to study the lesson.

"Oy Ash, tara sa canteen, magtatakaw." Joyce Ann said which makes me looked at her.

"Pass." I shortly answered, not glancing at her. I remained focus and tried my best to study this f*****g lesson but the hell I can't really understand all of this. Damn this domain and range! Pahirap sa buhay!

I almost close in giving up but Aldwin suddenly take Irish seat. Irish accompanied Joyce Ann to the canteen since I refused to accept Joyce Ann's offer.

"Di mo pa rin gets? Gusto mo turuan kita?" Aldwin offered.

I had the urge to refused to his offer but I suddenly thought that I almost went crazy if I study this lesson on my own. I realized that I really need his help when it comes in Mathematics. He was really good at this subject.

He get the ballpen and graph paper from my hands. He explained how will I be able to determined the domain and range from the function. He was asking me if I understand it so I slowly nodded though I really didn't. I yawn while convincing myself to stay awake but I was really sleepy. Bumabagsak-bagsak na ang ulo ko pero nilalabanan ko pa rin ang antok na nararamdaman ko. It was so rude if I take a nap while he keeps on explaining. Mamaya na lang siguro ako iidlip kapag natapos na sya sa page-explain.

"Ano? Nagets mo na?" he put down my ballpen. He fixed his eyes to me, waiting for me to answered.

"Oo." I yawn again. Aldwin probably didn't notice it because he was writing something in his paper. Ito siguro 'yung papasagutan nya sa'kin.

My head slowly fell again but this time, I didn't fight with this sleepy feeling anymore. Akala ko'y mauumpog na ang ulo ko sa armchair ko pero hindi ito nangyari. Before I doze off to sleep, I saw Aldwin who held my face just so I did not hit my armchair. He gently placed my head onto his shoulder that's why I became comfortable. I also feel that he was patting my hair. He was singing a song entitled 'having you near me' by air supply. It serves us a lullaby that's why I dozed off to sleep so quickly.

We stayed more than ten minutes in this kind of position. Imumulat ko na sana ang dalawa kong mga mata pero narinig ko ang boses ni Joyce Ann dahilan para ako'y magtulug-tulogan.

"What a sweet view! Tingnan mo nga naman ang lovebirds." Irish laugh so loud.

"Sshh, my baby was sleeping." I heard Aldwin said. I contain my smile from myself because my friends might knew that I was faking my sleep.

"Psh! Baby, my ass!" Joyce said in a bitter tone.

"Doon ka na nga. Magigising si Ashley dahil sa lakas ng boses mo." pagtataboy ni Aldwin.

"Bakit mo ako pinapalayas e armchair ko 'yan? Ikaw ang lumayas dahil hindi iyan ang upuan mo. Tabe nga dyan!!!" kunwaring galit na sabi ni Joyce Ann.

"Eto naman, nakita mo ng tulog ang baby ko e. Nasa'n ang manners mo?" Aldwin lectured Joyce Ann.

I continue to take a nap again. Thank God, Joyce Ann did not talk again so I continue to take a nap again. Nakakatuwa dahil hindi talaga gumagalaw si Aldwin. He was just frozen on the spot, afraid that he might awaken me.

Nagising ang diwa ko nang marinig ang malakas na boses ng aming President. I automatically removed my head from resting on Aldwin's shoulder.

"Guys, may meeting tayong lahat." Van, our class president informed.

"Para sa'n na naman 'yan Pres?" Justin asked, getting disturbed of what he was currently doing.

"Birthday na ni Ma'am sa Monday kaya kailangan nating gumawa ng video presentation para sa kanya." Levi, our VP went infront.

"Anong pabida na naman 'yan V.P?" Jake asked bravely. I really admired him. He was so vocal and straight forward to the person that he was interacting to.

"Syempre, birthday ni Ma'am kaya kailangan nating gumawa ng presentation as a sign ng appreciation." Levi answered as simple as that.

"Bakit kailangan pa ng presentation? Nung birthday ko nga e, wala man lang naggawa ng presentation." Jake said dramatically with a sulk expression in his face. I wear a smile on my face after watching how sulky he was.

"Arte naman." Aldwin commented, pertaining to Jake. I laugh again at Aldwin's jealous expression.

"Bakit ka naman namin ipaggagawa ng presentation? Ma'am ka ba? Ha? Ha?" Levi fired.

Jake and Levi started to talk back to each other. Palagi silang nagbabarahan dahilan para tumawa ang lahat ng mga kaklase ko. As soon as they realized that they acting so immature, they stopped talking. Jake looked at me as if he was so embarassed that I saw his immature side.

Levi collected money that will serve us our funds for the surprise birthday party for our adviser. Nagreklamo pa ang ilan dahil kinukurakot lang daw ng mga officers ang class fund. Well, I did not really agree to them but there was a part of me that says I must agree. Siguro nga ay kinukulimbat ng mga officers ang pondo namin.

After collecting some money from us, Van planned about the surprise birthday party. May pondo na para sa paggagawa ng tarpaulin. About sa foods, kaunting-kaunti lang daw ang bibilhin dahil baka raw kapusin sa budget. Van volunteered that she will make a slideshow birthday presentation for Ma'am. Aside from that, Van volunteered that she will captured a video greetings from each one of us. She seems like photography that's why he took the initiative to do those tasks. On the other hand, Levi ordered everyone to make a birthday card. As much as possible, he wants everyone to buy a present for our beloved adviser.

We finished planning for our adviser's upcoming birthday. In connected to that, ofcourse, Van likes the setting to be clean so she used her power to give an order again.

"Guys, maglinis na tayo ng room!!!!" she command with an authoritative voice.

"Bakit pa maglilinis e magdudumi rin naman?" Jake said which makes everyone laugh again. I also noticed that Aldwin was also laughing upon knowing the funny personality of Jake.

"Edi huwag ka na ring huminga tutal mamamatay ka rin naman." Van fired back which makes everyone laugh too loud again. I hold my stomach upon seeing Jake's defeat reaction. Wala pala sya e!

I erased the writings on the board so that I will have a cooperation of cleaning the room. I was stepping in the armchair so that I can reach the highest part of the board. I'm a little small so I can't easily erase the writings written on the highest part of the board.

I don't want to sweep the dust on the floor or even waxing the floor because it was too hard to do. Ayoko rin namang magtanggal ng agiw sa kisame dahil na-trauma na ako noong nahulog ako. Oh my gosh! I did not literally fell. Infact, I fell on top of Aldwin. God! That was so really embarassing. I wished, that embarassing moment never happened again.

"Oh my Go-----"

Napakatanga ko talaga dahil nawalan na naman ako ng balanse sa pagtayo sa ibabaw ng armchair. Instead na sa floor mahulog ay sa ibabaw pa ni Aldwin. Nakaharap ako sa opposite direction ni Aldwin. I turned around just to saw his face. I looked away when I realized how careless I am. I was still holding the eraser so it was really awkward. And the fact that our face were so close to each other makes the situation more awkward. I can feel his warm breath on my neck. I can also heard his loud hearbeat from his chest.

"Awts. PDA!" Angel was the first one who noticed us. Her eyes were teasing so I got back from my senses. Lumayo ako kay Aldwin, pretending that I did not fell from the armchair. Thank God, si Angel lang ang nakakita sa'min ni Aldwin. I will sure go nuts if my classmates saw what happened earlier. Katakot-takot na pang-aasar ang aabutin ko. Mabuti na lang at busy sila sa pagdidilig ng halaman at pagwawalis sa hagdanan.

"Next time, maging maingat ka sa mga kilos mo. Ayokong mawalan ka ng balanse at pumaibabaw sa ibang lalaki. Sa'kin mo lang dapat gagawin ang bagay na iyon." Aldwin tailed me. Nag-iigib ako ng tubig mula sa sink upang magdilig ng halaman.

My eyes were focused on the sprinkler but as soon as I heard what he said, my eyes automatically darted to him. Gulat akong tumingin sa kanya, inaalam kung seryoso ba sya. I looked away when I realized how serious he was. God! So he really mean about the word 'pumaibabaw?' Pati iyong sinabi nya na 'sa akin mo lang dapat gagawin ang bagay na iyon'. My body felt shivers when I mocked his words in my mind. God! Why did he keeps on making me thinks about dirty things? Damn!!! I should quit thinking about that matter!!

Aldwin volunteered to bring the sprinker to the classroom. Sya na rin ang nagdilig ng halaman na dapat ako ang gagawa.

"Bakit pa tayo magdidilig ng halaman e malalanta rin naman 'yan?" Jake complained while he was watering the plants.

"Jake, nasa'n ka ba nung nagpa-ulan ng utak?" Van sarcastically asked, getting mad now that Jake keeps on complaining instead of doing the task that assign to him.

"Aba, e nando'n ako sa taas. Ako 'yung nagpa-ulan ng utak." hindi nagpatalo si Jake sa pagiging sarkastiko.

"Oh, e, bakit hindi ka nagtira ng utak para sa sarili mo?" Van fired again. Jake smiled sarcastically as s sign of defeat. Everyone here on the garden laugh as if they were watching a comedy show.