He Says She Says

Face To Face

Chapter Thirteen

Face To Face

Three years later…

(Lexine’s POV)

                 “Miss Lex, how do you feel now that you’ve come back here in the Philippines? Sources said that you’re a native Filipina, can you confirm it?”

                 “Miss Lex, how do you feel that the tour is now coming to its final stop?”

                 “Miss Lex, are the rumors true about 3END disbanding? What can you say about it?”

            Isa na malamang sa pinaka-magandang imbensyon ng mga mortal ang shades at ang iPod Nano kasama na ang earphone. Aba dre malamang kanina pa ako nalagay sa dyaryo kung lahat ng tanong nila eh narinig ko at kung lahat ng nakakayamot na ekspresyon ng mukha ko eh nakita nila. Buti na lang talaga may shades at iPod.

            Tuloy kami sa paglalakad palabas ng airport. Tuloy rin naman sa pag-bomba ng mga tanong ang media. Lahat naman sila tinatanong lang kung anong pakiramdam namin sa ganito at sa ganyan, kung totoo ba ‘to o ‘yan. Quite truthfully gusto kong mainis. Actually naiinis na nga ako. Dagdag pa yung mga flash ng cameras nila.

            Hay buhay.

            We came in front of a black SUV. Tita Letty, our manager, opened the door for us. Pumasok sina Dea, Glam at Tryx. Nahuli ako. Pinasok nung mga guard na nag-a-assist sa’min kanina ang mga bagahe namin sa trunk ng kotse saka kami umalis doon. Patuloy pa rin ang pag-flash ng mga camera habang umaandar ang SUV. Tumigil lang nung tuluyan kaming nakaalis ng airport.

                 “For the next three weeks sa Emerald Hotel kayo mananatili. I’ll let you rest for the whole day but later tonight at eight sharp you have to get ready to meet your producer for this stop along with the composer and the new crew since we left your musicians and your crew back in Arizona. We have two weeks to perfect the stop since this is the final tour. After this, as promised, I will you give you guys a month long break from work. You deserve it.”

            Pumalakpak sina Glam at Tryx, nagkangitian lang kami ni Dea.

                 “Sa’n n’yo ba balak mag-bakasyon, girls?” muling tanong ni Tita Letty.

                 “Well ako gusto ko sa Caribbean!” Glam perked up.

                 “Hawaii? Anywhere hot and there’s a beach.” :P sagot ni Tryx.

                 “I’ll probably stay at New York.” Nakangiti namang response ni Dea na kinakalikot ang phone niya.

            Tita Letty looked at me through the rearview mirror. Kita ko ‘yon kahit naka-shades ako. Tingin ko tinatanong niya kung saan ko gustong pumunta. “I’ll stay here. I wanted to catch up with my sister. Isa pa mahirap mag-bakasyon dahil kina Bless at Nina. Nakaka-stress bumyahe kung saan-saan.”

                 “Agree.” Sabi ni Glam na tumatango sa akin. “It’s much safer for Lex to be in one place.”

                 “Well okay. Where exactly do you want to stay, Lex? There’s Boracay, Subic, Ariadne even if you want to stay in an island far away from the city. We can arrange that. I won’t ask the three of you, I know mamaya lang ipapa-asikaso n’yo na sa’kin ang lahat ng reservations n’yo.”

            Magkahalong sly at sheepish grins ang isinagot ng tatlo kay Tita Letty. Natawa lang ako. “I’ll get you back on that, Tita Letty. Di pa’ko sure. But I like the island idea. Mas peaceful sa gano’n in my opinion. I just hope we can get rid of paparazzis.”

                 “Of course you can. I’ll pull a string, don’t you worry girls.” ^_“♪Since you left… things have changed.

I got all the things I said would come my way.

I got paid, got accolades.

Now you barely recognise the life I’ve made.♪”

            Narinig kong nag-gasp ng tahimik sina Dea at Tryx, si Glam na katabi ko naka-nganga. I couldn’t miss that one stray tear that fell down from his eyes when he closed it too shut. Too deeply, his face contorted into so much pain. So much that I could feel it go deep to my system like I was feeling it too.

“♪I thought you wanted what I wanted.

You left me… left me wanting you.

Now I’ve got nothing!

I’ve got nothing if I’ve got everything but you.

We had something that I’ve been missing

Since I’ve got everything, everything but you.

Everything… everything but you.♪”

            Everything… Everything but you? “The hell?” I whispered while watching in awe as the tears  keeps streaming down his face.

                 “Hell, I’m seeing things.” Gulat na gulat na bulong ni Glam.

            Shet, I don’t think she’s seeing things. If she’s seeing things then I’m also seeing things.

“♪You know I got so much.

But nothing’s worth enough to put a price on us.

I thought you wanted what I wanted.

You left me… left me wanting you.♪”

            I didn’t EVER wanna think about it but is… is the song directed to me?

            That was confirmed nang mag-side glance siya sa corner namin. Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat when his eyes practically looked like he’s begging me to get him out of that hurtful state he’s at. s**t. Why is he looking like that?

                 “Binabawi ko na sinabi ko kanina, Lex. Tingin ko kailangan mong mag-worry na nandito siya.”

“♪Now I’ve got nothing!

I’ve got nothing if I’ve got everything but you.

We had something that I’v been missing

Since I’ve got everything… everything but you.

Everything… everything but you.♪”

                 “You know I got so much… but nothing’s worth enough to put a price on us.”

            I watched as he stormed away telling everyone that he’s sorry he had to go and excusing himself too fast I couldn’t even manage to say anything. And it turns out it wasn’t just me. Nagulat rin sila to the point na tumango na lang sila at hindi na nagsalita.

            Yeah, big surprise. Welcome back, Lexine.

xxxOxxx

            The next morning I was out at the gym for morning exercises. Hey, being a performer means you have to stay fit all the time. Wala man sa itsura kong may gano’n akong routine, meron talaga kaya h’wag na kayong magtaka.

            Anyway though pabalik na ako ng room ko with a duffel bag on my right shoulder nang makita ko siyang nag-aabang sa harapan ng pintuan ko. He must have noticed me nung tumingin siya sa’kin at umalis mula sa pagkakasandal sa pintuan ko. I didn’t wanna check him out because let’s freakin’ face it, baka mag-drool ako.

            So yep, nevermind the checking out.

                 “Hey… uhm… good morning.” I could hear him choke out his words. Like a huge bile in his throat is there and he couldn’t talk too well.

                 “Morning. Is there something you need?”

            Ngayon ko lang na-realize, ito yung first time na nagsalita ako na kaharap siya at naririnig niya. Kagabi I didn’t talked to him, just nod or watch him do things. Saka ko lang ‘yon na-realize nung nag-quiver yung lips niya and it twitched upward into a slight smile. But there was also something else in his eyes. Something that I don’t ever want to figure out.

                 “I uhm… I… I wanted to see you.”

            Napapikit ako ng mariin, my hand flew to the bridge of my nose to massage it. Ang aga-aga binibigyan ako ng sakit ng ulo nitong si Bryce. “Spit it out, Bryce, anong kailangan mo?”

                 “Ikaw. Ikaw, kailangan kita.”

            I looked at him like he’s being so delirious. But I later found out that it was a huge mistake on my part. Because when I looked up at his eyes I saw pain. That… that unexplainable pain. Like there was torture. Like there’s too much hurt inside and he wants me to do something about it. It was a mistake to look at it. Because the moment I recognize that dull look he had in his eyes, something tugged on my heart.

            Crap. This isn’t fair. I hate you, Bryce, you don’t play fair! You should be doing this in like… like two years more from now. Not now, it’s too soon.

                 “Lex… can we talk please? Can we talk this out please?”

            Anong gagawin ko? Dapat ba hindi? Dapat ba layuan ko na siya? Dapat ba tikisin ko siya hanggang sa magsawa siya? Pero magsasawa ba siya? Bibitaw ba siya? Makakaya ko bang gawin ‘yon sa kanya? Kay Bryce? Kaya ko ba?

                 “Lex? Oh gosh…” nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makilala ko ang tinig ni Tryx. Kalalabas lang niya sa kabilang kwarto and she’s looking at us na parang takot na takot siyang may nangyayari nang hindi maganda. “Hey… Bryce. Uhm… d-do you mind if I talk to Lex? We have to discuss a lot of things… you know.”

            Ilang saglit na nagpapalit-palit ng tingin si Bryce between me and Tryx. Napaka-visible ng fear at alinlangan sa mga mata niya. It’s been so long since I saw Bryce this vulnerable. This open… this… this scared, this wounded… and I hate it. I hate it too much.

                 “C-Can’t that wait? I just have to talk to her.”

            Tumingin sa akin si Tryx na parang tinatanong niya kung dapat ko ba siyang pabayaan na tumango. Anong gagawin ko? Maski nga ako hindi makapag-decide eh.

                 “Lex, you can’t dismiss me like this.” Matatag na sabi ni Bryce, with a whole new level of determination in his face. “Tatlong taon akong naghintay para dito, hindi mo’ko pwedeng iwasan lang ng basta-basta. Parang awa mo na, gusto lang kitang kausapin.”

            Tatlong taon? Gano’n na ba talaga ‘yon katagal? Gaano ba katagal ang tatlong taon para sa kanya? Para sa’kin?

            Dati alam ko na kahit gaano pa katagal ang gugulin ko ng wala siya, balang-araw magkikita at magkikita kami. I know that in the back of my mind, I just didn’t want to ponder on it. I never wait for it, I don’t even know that to say to him now. After three years we’re face to face. After three years he wants me to talk to him.

            What’s gonna happen then?

            Well whatever it is, I can’t just turn around and ignore it. He waited too long for this. Hindi ko kakayaning basta na lang tumalikod sa taong ‘to.

                 “We’ll talk later, Tryx. I just have to talk to Bryce for a second.”