RAY OF LIGHT

CHAPTER 8

"Here, drink this," George said and handed me a cup of milk.

George was just a year ahead of me. Matagal na kaming close na tatlo dahil sa tuwing uma-attend si tita sa mga okasyong nagaganap sa bahay, minsan meron sila, minsan din wala.

Mabilis lang kami nagkakuhaan ng loob dahil nga siguro sa lukso ng dugo. Napapakisamahan mo sila ng kusa kahit sa madaliang panahon lang. Makulit siya, uhaw sa pera kahit madami naman siya no'n, at gaya ni tita, napakasipag manermon. Pero ang pinakagusto ko sa kaniya ay ang pagiging protective niyang kuya sa amin ni Hillary. Hindi kami pwedeng masaktan, umiyak, magkasakit o kahit ano pa na pwedeng magdulot sa amin ng negativity, ay hindi dapat namin maramdaman dahil pag nangyari 'yon you'll definitely see how good and soft his heart is.

Pero magmula nang maengage si kuya George sa business nilang hotel and resort dito, naging busy na siya, gano'n din si Hillary, naging busy sa pag-eensayo at pag-aaral niya ng modelling. Kaya ilang taon rin na puro kami sa video call nakakapag-usap at nakikita ang isa't-isa. So, I'm happy na magkakasama na ulit kami ngayon.

Si George nga pala ang biglang nagsalita kanina. Hindi ko namalayan kanina ang pagpasok niya dito sa kwarto.

"Seriously kuya? Milk? Hindi na ako bata."

He chuckled. "You are still a kiddo for me. Such a crying baby."

Bigla akong nalungkot muli. "I just really missed them," tugon ko saka nagbaba ng tingin.

Agad niya akong tinabihan sa pagkakaupo sa kama ko.

"Hey! I'm sorry. I was just trying to lighten up your mood. But I think I just made it worst."

"I know b-but... what should I do kuya? It really hurts. I missed them so much," I stuttered.

George held my hand and squeezed it gently, like he's telling me that he knows it.

"Yeah. I can see it Hon. But like what I said earlier, don't blame him for what happened."

"Pero hiniyaan niyang mawala sila sa'kin. He can do something right? He has the power to save them, r-right kuya? But he didn't do anything."

He immediately cupped my face when tears starts to fall from my eyes, and hugged me tightly after.

"I understand. Calm down now. We are still here. We'll be here through your healing process. We're not going to leave you. Okay?"

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa'kin. I want to say that I'm lucky to have a cousin like him and also Hillary but remembering what happened to my family, nagbabago 'yong isip ko. I'm not that really lucky.

-

Matapos akong pinatahan ni kuya George, iniwan niya muna ako. So I decided to sleep 'cause I don't know what to do in this house. I am still adjusting to my new home.

HOME.

Good thing I still have one.

Just when I woke up, I immediately took a bath to freshen up my mind. After I saw myself in the mirror that I already look good, lumabas na muli ako sa kwarto.

Pagkababa ko nadatnan ko ang kaninang bisita nila tita sa hapag.

Ngumiti siya nang makita ako.

"Tita and tito Greg went to the hotel, George had something to do outside and Hillary has a rehearsal to attend."

"So?" I raised my brow as I asked him.

"Well, I just thought you're curious 'bout where the people here go," he explained as he walks towards my direction.

I lifted up my hand to give him a sign to stop from coming near me.

"Why are you here if all of them left?"

Ngumiti siya. "Tita asked me a favor," he said.

I scrunched my brows to give him a signal to continue from what he's saying.

"She asked me to look out for you. So here I am ma'am Honeyleigh, your bodyguard for today. At your service ma'am." Pagpapaliwanag nito saka yumuko nang may ngiti sa labi. Hindi ba siya nangangalay sa kakangiti?

"Just go home. I'm not going anywhere so you better go home," I said then I exited and made my way to the kitchen since I'm feeling hungry.

Pero hindi siya nagpatinag, sinundan niya ako sa kusina.

Nagsasalin ako ng tubig sa baso nang bigla niya akong tinabihan.

"Hindi ba sinabi kong umalis ka na? Ano pang ginagawa mo dito?" Iritableng tugon ko sa kaniya.

Kumunot bigla ang kanyang noo waring naguguluhan sa sinabi ko.

Ay! Baka hindi siya nakakaintindi ng tagalog.

Oo nga naman, laking ibang bansa pala ang nilalang na ito.

"So, hindi mo ako naiintindihan?"

"What do you mean by that?"

Ah, mukhang hindi talaga siya nakakaintindi ng tagalog.

"Leave." I hope makuha niya na 'yong gusto kong mangyari.

"Why?" nakangising tanong niya.

"Because I said so."

"And?" he asked again while grinning like a crazy.

"Just leave."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll kick your ass."

"Woah! That's cool," he laughed. "You're so cute."

Cute? What am I? A kid? Naiirita na ako sa presensya ng lalaking ito. Hindi na ako natutuwa.

Bumuntong hininga ako ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili ko dahil hindi ko na talaga nagugustuhan itong lalaking naririto.

"Pwede lumayas ka nalang dito, dahil sinisira mo lang araw ko. Hindi ako lalabas kaya hindi ko kailangan ng bodyguard. At ayaw kitang nakikita dahil nakakainis ka na. Ang pangit mo!" Mahabang tugon ko habang mahigpit ang hawak sa basong may laman pang tubig.

Akala ko maguguluhan siya sa sinabi ko pero iba ang nangyari. He burst in to laughters. May pahawak-hawak pa siya sa kanyang tiyan.

"Stop it!" he said, while trying to stop himself from laughing hard again.

"Stop being cute! Damn! I might fall. Why do you need to be that so cute when getting pissed off? I can't believe this...and just like that, you already made my day." He added.

"W-what?"

"And by the way, I'm gwapo not pangit," he said, having his own accent of saying panget.

Nanlaki ang mata ko. "You understand tagalog? Totoo?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko sa kaniya.

"Yes! But not as good as Hillary and George." Nakangiti pa rin na tugon ng lalaking ito

"They know how to speak tagalog? Naiintindihan niyo rin?"

Nakakagulat lang talaga malaman na alam na ng mga pinsan ko ang mag-tagalog. No'ng mga panahon kasi na bumibisita sila sa bahay puro Ingles ang ginagamit nilang salita.

"Yes."

"Wait, are you a Filipino?" I asked

"Of course. But my dad's family leaves here so, yeah."

Pinoy naman pala ito, puro siya English. 'Pag ito di marunong mag-tagalog dapat tinatanggalan ng nationality eh.

Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko but something came up on my mind.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Then why did you act like you don't understand me earlier?"

"Did I?" nangingiti nitong sambit.

Okay that's it. Nagpapapansin lang ito.

Nakainom na rin naman ako kaya umalis na akong muli do'n at nagpunta sa may garden ng bahay nila tita. Nakita ko iyon kaninang umaga.

Good thing may garden sila, makakalanghap ako ng sariwa at mabangong hangin.

Pagkarating ko doon, napakadaming bulaklak ang aking nakita. May mga bago sa aking mga paningin 'yong iba naman ay nakita ko na rin sa Pilipinas.

Nang mamataan ko ang upuan at maliit na mesa sa gilid ng harid, agad ko 'yon nilapitan at doon nanatili.

Pumikit ako at ninamnam ang preskong hangin.

"Did you know that tita Felie loves flowers?" napaayos ako ng upo nang marinig ko ang boses na 'yon, napahawak din sa aking dibdib dahil pakiramdam ko lalabas 'yong puso ko dahil sa kaba.

I glared at him. "Bakit ka ba nanggugulat?! And didn't I told you to leave already?"

Hindi niya pinansin ang sinabi ko at tumingin lamang sa mga bulaklak. "She always come to us and pick a flower that she wants to keep and plant it in this garden."

I sighed when I saw him being serious with what he was saying.

"Just like my mom," I suddenly uttered without me realizing I said it out loud, I thought sa isipan ko lang nabigkas. "Para silang magkapatid, parehong mahilig sa mga bulaklak."

My mom spends a lot of her free time on making her garden look astonishing. Kung pwede nga lang na maging kapatid ko mga bulaklak ni mama, papasa sila at talagang madami akong aalagaan. Gano'n niya kamahal 'yong garden niya.

After a long silence I decided to make him leave the house.

"I want you to leave now," malumanay ko pang tugon sa kaniya.

"Give me a reason, why should I leave? Don't you want me here? Don't you want me to be your friend?"

"Stop asking the obvious." Walang pagdadalawang-isip na binitawan ang katagang iyon.

Bumuka ang bibig niya pero wang lumabas at hindi na nagsalita pang muli. Nawala rin ang liwanag sa kanyang mukha, pero wala akong pakialam.

"Ate Honeyleigh!" Hillary voice was so loud that we still manage to hear it here, loud and clear.

Since, glass 'yong wall papunta dito sa garden, which is deretso lamang sa main door, agad niya kaming nakita.

"Let's go ate, I'll tour you around. But sa malapit lang because mom might kill me if I take you to far places," she said when she was on my side already.

Nilingon ko si...is it Glade? Glace? What's his name again?

Basta yung inaanak ni tita. Nilingon ko siya nang mahagip ng paningin ko ang bigla nitong pagtayo.

"I gotta go," he said, looking at Hillary.

"Why? I thought you want to be our driver," tugon naman ni Hillary.

"Papa called, he heeds me Hill. So maybe next time?" He lied. I didn't even saw him takking to someone on the phone.

He then approached Hillary and gave a kiss on her cheeks na siyang nagpakaba sa akin. Is he going to kiss me too? Since 'yon ang nakasanayan nila.

But it didn't happened. After he kissed Hillary, he just look at me, he showed me a short smile and nod before leaving.

Yeah. That's it. But ofcourse, it is not a big deal for me. Dahil hindi ko naman siya kaibigan o ano.

"That's odd. He keep on insisting to be our driver for today but, what did just happen? Did you fight? Did you annoy him?" Sunod-sunod na tanong na bigla ni Hillary.

I shook my head. "No. He suddenly went silent when I told him that I don't really want him here. Sunod kasi siya ng sunod kaya nainis ako. I'm sorry. Hindi ko naman alam na ma-o-offend ko siya. Pero ayoko kasi talaga sa presensya niya."

Nang marinig ko ang tawa ni Hillary napabaling ako sa kanya mula sa pagkakatitig sa likuran ni Glade na palabas ng bahay. "What's funny?"

"You annoyed him..." she laughed again, para bang nakakatawa 'yong ginawa ko. "Now, he found his match."

"Match? Sorry, hindi ko siya gusto."

"I can see that, what I'm saying is, you are both on the same level. A level where people loves to annoy anyone."

Napapailing akong lumingon muli sa mga bulaklak.

"But that's new," she added so I looked back at her.

"You're never been so mean to anyone. Yes, you are not sociable person but you're not rude as how you are right now. What's with the sudden change ate? Is this because of what happened to your parents and Yohan?"

I gave her a small smile. "I don't know. I just woke up one day, not having the care about life, about other people. Maybe I'm tired of being good, of being kind, of following his words," I looked above the cloudy sky. "But still, I am thankful because I have you guys." I sighed. "Everything became more easy to deal with because of your presence."

Nagtitigan kaming dalawa ni Hillary, at nakita kong namuo ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. Then she suddenly hugged me so tight.

"I promised, I will never leave you. What do you want ate? Tell me. I'll provide it for you, whatever it is just to keep you on moving and don't let yourself stuck on that horrible past of yours."

Gusto kong lumuha dahil nadama ko 'yong sinseridad sa kanyang boses, pero walang lumabas, napagod na rin siguro mga mata ko. Hinagod ko ang kanyang likod para tumigil siya sa pag-iyak. Then just a couple of second a voice interrupted the momentum.

"Let's go. I'll take you to wherever you go but buy me ice cream first."

Upon hearing that, agad na kumalas sa'kin si Hillary at nagmadaling tumakbo para habulin ang taong sumira sa madamdaming pag-uusap namin ni Hillary.

"You asshole! You always have your way to ruin the mood!" She ran as fast as she can to catch Glade. "Come back here!" She shouted and so her voice ecoed to the whole house. Ang tinis talaga ng boses niya kahit kailan.

Hindi ko alam kung saan na nakarating ang dalawa pero nagsisisigaw pa rin si Hillary at si Glade naman ay tawa lang ng tawa.

Umupo akong muli.

"...don't let yourself stuck on that horrible past of yours."

Hillary has a point. Maybe it's about time to cut the rope that keeps me on pulling back to that darkest part of my life.

I have to move forward.