The Forbidden Man

Chapter 26 - Meal

"Nasan na si Jeneza?" tanong ko nang makababa kami. Tanging nakita ko lang ay si Teyson sa sala, nagbabasa ng librong White Nights ni Fyodor Dostoevsky. Nakapatong ang mga paa niya sa rectangular table na gawa sa kristal na may abuhing kulay.

"Why, would you like some annoying girl meddling in your life?" Nakataas ang kilay nito nang ibaba ang aklat at ang mga binti.

Napakunot ang noo ko. Magkapatid nga sila ni Axis.... mga maldito! Iba nga lang ang hulma ng panganay... mapanakit.

"Kuya, you're so rude!" Sinuntok ni Axis ang balikat nito.

"So, I can bring you to Bacolod now? Did the teacher convince you?"

Mas lalo akong napakunot-noo. "He has been convincing you to move with him? What made you think to stay here, then?"

"Obviously, you. My brother seems to be obsessing over someone who keeps rejecting him."

"And you seem to know so much about your brother's obsession but can't seem to figure out that your brother is also obsessed with dying."

Nakita ko ang pagkabigla niya sa sinabi ko, ngunit mabilis din itong nagbawi ng ngisi.

"Woah! Rius! You didn't tell me she's got a sharp tongue. You only told me she's sweet, soft, and demure!"

"She is," sagot ni Axis. "She even convinced me to move with you."

"Finally, brother!"

"Can I talk to you, Teyson?" tanong ko.

"Why? Why would you talk to him privately? Why can't I listen to both of you talking?" reklamo ni Axis.

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

Axis transferred. And my life as a teacher went on.

Biyernes, alas-diyes eksakto nang tumunog ang aking phone. Unang tunog pa lang ay Summer ni Vivaldi na agad kong narinig.

Napangiti ako at napapikit. There were no hellos or words spoken, but I seemed to understand what he was trying to say.

Vivaldi's Spring or La Primavera conveys joy, brightness, and renewal. It evokes birds singing, gentle breezes, and a flowering meadow... it symbolizes new beginnings, rebirth, hope, and the beauty of nature awakening.

Is it what you feel right now, Axis? New beginning and hope?

If it is, I'm happy for you, Axis. I wish you all the best and a happy life.

It's my third year in my master's degree. I would usually go once or twice a week to Jordan for my schooling. It would take me four years to finish my studies since I chose the flexible schedule that wouldn't hinder my teaching hours or my compliance with school work.

Alas-dos na nang matapos ang klase ko. Mabuti at mayroong anim na units na available tuwing Sabado kaya't hindi gaanong nahahassle ang schedule ko sa weekdays. Katulad ngayon, mayroon pa akong oras upang pumunta sa mall at ilibre ang aking sarili.

Parking area ang madadaanan ko palabas ng Guimaras State University, ngunit nahatak ang aking atensyon nang mapansin kong may pinagtitinginan ang mga tao sa may parking area.

At sa hindi inaasahan, isang pamilyar na matangkad na lalaki ang nakita ko. Nakahalukipkip ang kaliwang braso at may tinitingnan sa cellphone. Minsan titingala na parang may hinahanap, minsan ay muling tumitingin sa phone.

Napasingkit ang aking mga mata, sinisiguro kung tama ba ang nakikita ko.

Teyson. Axis Dmitrius' second brother, who was supposed to be in Bacolod, was here in Guimaras. Nagtama ang aming mga mata, at napapatda ako sa pagkakatayo nang itaas niya ang braso na para bang nagtatawag ng waiter.

Diretso ang tingin niya sa akin nang sabihin niyang, "You there! Beautiful girl in a yellow dress!"

Kaya't lahat tuloy ay nakiusyoso at tumingin sa kanya at syempre, lumingon din sa akin.

Napatikhim ako, biglang nahiya.

"Come on, we're late!" dagdag pa nito.

Nakakahiya! Parang gusto kong tumakbo palayo, ngunit mas dumami na ang nakatingin sa akin kaya't mabilis akong tumakbo papalapit sa kanya at yumuko upang matakpan ng nakalugay kong buhok ang aking mukha. Sakto namang pagbukas niya ng pinto sa passenger's seat kaya agad akong pumasok.

Hindi pa ako tapos sa inis, gulat, at hiya nang may nagsalita sa gilid ko.

"Hi, miss!"

Hindi ko na kailangang lingunin ang nagsalita. Ni hindi ko gustong mag-angat ng ulo. Mas gugustuhin ko pang magmukhang Sadako hanggang Lunes kaysa kausapin ang magkapatid na ito tungkol sa kung anong pinagagawa nila.

"You guys never understand the situation I'm in, right? Let me remind you, I am a teacher and this is not right!" Napataas ang aking boses kasabay ng pag-angat ng ulo ko, halos may force pa nang makapasok na rin sa driver's seat si Teyson.

"What's not right for me is being asked to be my brother's driver and a third wheel," sagot nito habang nililingon ako.

Malakas ang buntong-hininga ko.

"Just last week you were both leaving for Bacolod! You were in Bacolod! We were fine doing things separately and this, now? If you had this kind of plan, you had the freedom to contact me. But what you did back there? You were getting so much attention! I'm trying to work and live peacefully, please."

Hingal ako sa haba ng sinabi ko.

"Sorry, miss, I tried to contact you but you weren't answering," saad ni Axis, habang nagkakamot ng batok.

"I did too," sabat naman ni Teyson. "I was trying to call you using Axis' phone but you weren't answering."

Bumuntong-hininga ako at kinalma ang sarili. Hindi rin naman tama na basta na lang akong mag-lash out dahil mukhang may mali rin ako.

Dahan-dahan kong kinuha ang phone ko sa bag.

31 missed calls from the same unknown number that's very familiar to me.

"See?" sabi ni Teyson, para bang dinidiin pa na ako talaga ang may kasalanan.

"Masyado mong mahal ang imahe mo. Kahit wala ka namang ginagawang masama, kapag kinakabahan ka, parang aalisin na lahat ng dignidad mo," komento ni Teyson.

"She's a teacher, kuya, and she's with some younger guys. Some people know her, what would they think of her?" pagtatanggol ni Axis.

Wow! Coming from the eighteen-year-old boy who's been doing the same thing, risking my ethics and dignity for almost three years. Wow, talaga.

"Well, you described her differently. She isn't soft," dagdag pa ni Teyson.

"Let me remind you that a human being can never be soft alone. They have edges. They can never be described by one trait or personality." Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at nilingon si Axis. "How old's your brother?"

Napangiti si Axis at tumingin sa kapatid niya. "Why do you wanna know, miss?"

"Because he seems to have skipped learning basic psychology."

"He's twenty-one, miss," sagot ni Axis, pigil ang tawa.

"Yes, I've so much to learn, ma'am. Teach me next time." Ngumisi si Teyson, iyong tipo ng ngisi na may halong pang-aasar.

"I'm busy. I don't have time to teach basic information you can find on the internet."

"Argh! Axis, your type is peculiar!" komento nito, na siyang nagpatawa kay Axis.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at saka lang ito natahimik.

Nang pinaandar na ni Teyson ang sasakyan, saka ko pa lang naisip na magtanong.

"So, saan niyo ako dadalhin?" tanong ko, nakataas ang kilay habang tinitigan si Axis.

"Ang sungit mo naman ngayon, miss. Nakakapanibago. Ganyan mo ba ako nami-miss?"

Lalong naningkit ang mga mata ko at lalo kong tinikom ang bibig. Hindi ko na siya pinatulan.

"Kakain lang tayo, miss." Nakangisi niyang saad.

"He wants to date you but can't ask you formally because you'd always say no. So he stalked you, asked me to be his driver, and even waited for two hours. How's that? May points na ba ang kapatid ko, ma'am?" tuloy-tuloy na kwento ni Teyson habang sumulyap sa rearview mirror.

"Kuya, ang daldal mo rin ngayon. Tumigil ka nga!" reklamo ni Axis.

"Walang point na ita-tally dahil walang date na magaganap," mariin kong sabi.

"Edi kain na lang, miss. Hindi date," sagot ni Axis na may ngiti.

The warm scent of roasted coffee beans and buttered pastries greeted us as soon as we entered Olivia's Kitchen and Island Brew. The clinking of cups and the soft hum of jazz in the background made the place feel too cozy... too intimate... for what I thought was just a meal.

A waitress in a beige apron approached us with a bright smile. "Good afternoon, ma'am, sir! Table for two?"

"For three," I said.

"Yes," mabilis na sagot ni Axis, at bago pa ako makareklamo ay hinawakan na niya ang gilid ng aking siko, parang sanay na sanay.

Napasinghap ako, bahagyang umatras. Pero mas mabilis si Teyson. "Oh wow, look at you two! PDA in broad daylight. So wholesome!"

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin, pero ngumisi lang siya habang umupo sa tabi ni Axis habang katapat ko ang huli.

"So miss, I brought you here because they have some–"

Axis was cut-off because the waitress chuckled. "Ang cute niyo naman pong couple. Let me get your menu, po."

Napatikhim ako at handa namang ipagtanggol ang aking matibay na dignidad. "Uh—no, we're not—"

"Thank you," sabat ni Axis, sabay ngiti, halatang pinipigilang matawa.

Pagkaalis ng waitress ay agad kong tinusok ng tingin si Axis. "Seriously, Axis?"

"What? It's easier than explaining whatever this is," sabay kindat niya.

"Whatever this is doesn't exist," mariin kong sagot, sabay kuha ng menu.

Teyson leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Oh, it exists. It's called denial."

"Kuya!" singhal ni Axis, pero hindi na mapigilang matawa. "Pareho lang tayo, kaya itigil mo 'yan," pabirong dagdag nito.

Na pabiro namang ginulo ni Teyson ang buhok ng bunsong kapatid.

Nang bumalik ang waitress dala ang tubig at mga menu, hindi pa man ako nagsisimulang pumili, nagsalita na agad si Axis.

"One Catch of the Day, one Olivia Express, and an Iced Spanish Latte, for her."

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Try mo, miss," sabi niya, may ngiting halatang pinipigilan ang kaba. "Kurutin mo na lang pisngi ko pag hindi mo nagustuhan, pero 'yong tipo ng kurot na na parang nacu-cutan ka ah?"

Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti, kahit bahagya lang.

Matapos makuha ng waitress ang aming mga orders, nagkomento ako habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.

"Dining in a fancy resto, huh? Privilege can never be denied," sabi ko sa mababang boses, halos parang hindi ko sinasadyang sabihin.

"Well," sagot ni Axis, "my mom said never be stingy on food. You can save on other things, like caprices but never on food."

Tumango ako nang marahan. "Wise woman."

But not wise enough to see his son's dying.

Nais kong idugtong iyon, ngunit sino nga ba ako para magkomento tungkol doon? Una, hindi ko lubos na kilala ang ina niya at ang ganap sa loob ng pamamahay nila. Pangalawa, Axis protected her mom's peace. Axis never told her how his eldest brother battered him for years, just to protect the family and keep it intact.

Who am I to spill such a comment that would only hurt Axis?

"Or maybe she just liked feeding people she cared about," dagdag niya, mahina, halos parang sinabi lang sa sarili.

Napatigil ako. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang sagutin o iwasan na lang.

Teyson, sensing the awkward pause, cleared his throat.

"Aba, mukhang may chemistry na nangyayari dito ah. Should I move to another table?"

Pareho kaming napatingin kay Teyson.

Sabay kaming umiling ni Axis, siya may ngiti ako, hindi ko gaanong narinig ng maayos ang sinabi nito dahil binalot ako ng lungkot nang muli kong naisip ang kalagayan ni Axis.