Body (Tagalog)

Chapter 3

"Dolce, tara maliligo!"

"Hayaan mo na si Ralph diyan. Kayang-kaya niya 'yan. You want to swim, right?" My eyes twinkled before I face them. Tapos lumingon ulit ako kay Ralph.

"Can I? Kaya mo naman dito hindi ba?" I pursed my lips. I really want to swim. Ayoko namang bigla siyang iwan dito. I still have manners.

"Go." Napatalon naman ako at mabilis na lumapit kila Zero na naliligo na sa lawa. Tinanggal ko ang spaghetti strap top ko, which leaves me with a strapless bra. It's no big deal. Para namang hindi ako nag-tu-two piece sa beach.

"Ooh, ang sexy mo Dolce."

I playfully rolled my eyes at Cyrus before dipping in the lake. The cold yet satisfying temperature of the lake embraced my skin. Shivers followed, but I still managed.

I managed to dip for some minutes, bago ko inahon ang katawan ko. Cold breeze made me shiver more when I get up. I fixed my hair in a bun, para hindi maging sagabal.

I was about to face them, when something hit my faces. Napapikit naman ako at ngumiwi. Pinunasan ko naman ang mukha ko at masamang tumingin sa direksyon na pinanggalingan noong tumama sa akin.

"Wanna fight huh?" I smirked at Zero. Ngumisi din naman siya at sinabuyan ako ng tubig. What the hell?

"Zero!" I attacked him too.

Para kaming mga bata na nag-sasabuyan ng tubig. Even the two, split into group then, attack each other. Nasa tabi ko si Cyrus samantalang nasa tabi ni Zero si Ryus. I don't know where's Aries, pero mukhang hindi niya gusto ang mga ganito.

Laughter echoed the whole place. Even the chirps of the bird where subsided because of it. The heat of sun makes the water able to be bath on, but the cold breeze made it cold too. Such a perfect combination.

"Para kayong mga bata." I stopped then, looked at Ralph. My heart thumped at the sight of him. The way his muscles flex as he is getting his off makes my heart thumped. Didn't know, probinsiyano's can be this hot too.

"Someone's drooling." I shaked my head as I hear that. I gently slapped my face before looking away at Ralph.

Walang hiya talaga si Cyrus. Pwede namang manahimik na lang. Oh please, I'm getting too distracted.

"Thank you." I smiled genuinely at Ralph. Ngumiti din ako kay Zero. Nauna na sa amin sila Cyrus dahil malayo ang bahay nila dito.

Pumasok na ako sa loob ng bahay. The smile has never left my eyes and lips as I closed the door. What a day, it is.

Aakyat na sana ako ng biglang may narinig na nag-ring. My heart thumped and my body shivers. Ang aga naman niya. Usapan naman ako ang unang tatawag sa kaniya.

My shaky fingers pick up my cellphone. 10 missed calls. Mukhang kanina pa siya tumatawag sa akin, pero hindi ko naman dinala ang cellphone ko.

My father. He's the cruelest person I ever met. Some knows him as the kindest man, some knows him as the most evil one, but being his daughter I know him for being both. He can be kind, but if he really wants something, hell will break loose. No one can stop him.

Kahit ako na anak niya kaya niya isakripisiyo para sa kapakanan niya. Just like now.

"Good afternoon, Papa."

I heard his hoarse laugh as a reply. I think I'll got it rough now. Hindi ko naman inaasahan na tatawag agad siya.

"Dear, ang tagal kong inantay na sumagot ka. Where have you been? Nagsimula ka na ba? You should, dear. Hindi ka dapat mag-tagal diyan."

My lips trembled as I listen to his voice. That voice, I loathe it at all. It's sweet, but it gives me chills every time I hear it. Knowing that he needs something. Something that I can't ever resist.

"I'm starting on his, Papa. Hindi ko pa alam kung nasaan si Mr. Deciant ngayon. Maybe, he's in their Hacienda. Kagagaling ko lang doon."

"Good, pero mas maganda kung kay Lucas ka na magsimula. As what I've heard hindi maganda ang relasyon nila ng anak niya. It's a shame, kung makakaaway mo siya dahil lang sa akala niya kumakampi ka sa anak niya. Remember, the old one is the target."

"I know, Papa. Just give me time. Matatapos ko ito bago pa man matapos ang bakasyon. About Tito, do you really need to do it?"

He hysterically laughed that sends shivers to my body. His laughs, it really never turn into a genuine one.

"Of course. I need to give something for my brother, right?"

"Pero, Papa! You aren't even real brothers. Nananhimik na rin sila. Why need to drag them again?"

I almost killed myself because of my sudden outburst. s**t, this isn't good. I tried to calm myself. I only hear his heavy breathing, alam kong nagulat din siya.

"Huh! Do you feel in love with your cousin? You seem too overprotective in him."

"Pa! It's not like that. I just..."

"Stop it, dear. Napag-usapan na namin 'yan. Zero will help me too. Kaya hindi mo muna siya makikita. You need to rely on your own. As if, Zero is helping you there. Mas maganda na nandito siya ng maturuan ng maaga. Look at you, ang laki na nang pakinabang ko sa'yo."

Tears slowly started to form in my eyes. Cold and bitter tears fall from my eyes.

Am I not enough? Sinira na niya ang buhay ko. Why? Bakit pati sila?

My grip tightened at my phone as my tears flow. Bitter smile curved in my lips. My heart clenched more as I heard his laughs. After that he hanged up his phone.

"Why!" I angrily throw my phone. Bakit pati sila? Ginawa ko lahat para ma-satisfy na siya sa akin para hindi na niya pakialam nila Zero. I don't want him to experience the hell that I'm living right now.

He's too good for this. Hindi niya kaya. Nanlalambot ang paang umupo ako sa sahig. I hugged my knees as I bury my head. Ang kaninang pinipigil na hagulhol ay nakaalpas sa akin bibig.

"No. I need to be brave. Kailangan kong mag-isip ng plano para hindi na sila madamay pa. I can't let this happen."

I helped myself up. Madiin kong pinunasan ang mga luhang kumawala kanina. What a shame, bakit kailangan ko na namang umiyak ng dahil sa kaniya?

Mabilis naman akong umakyat sa kwarto ko. I can't let them see me in this state. Lalo silang magtataka.

"I need to think fast. How can I stop Tito? Anong dapat kong gawin?" I frustratedly pull my hair for ideas.

I need to think fast. Paniguradong kapag lumuwas na si Tito sa Manila, hindi ko na sila mapipigilan pa.

My system become alert because of a sudden noise. Tumigil naman ako sa paggalaw at nag-observe sa paligid. Did someone hear me?

Footsteps echoed the outside hall. I calm myself to sit in the bed. Inayos ko naman ang mukha at buhok ko. I can't let them see me in this state.

I waited until the footsteps got nearer and nearer. Kinapa ko naman ang dagger na lagi kong dala. Nasa ilalim 'yon ng unan ko. Hindi kasi ako makatulog hangga't hindi nakakapa ang dagger. I don't know, but it become my habit. I feel safe amidst of my chaos mind.

This is a dagger given by my mother, hiwalay na sila ni Papa ngayon. Kaya ito na lang ang natatangi ala-ala niya sa akin. I heard she's in France, but I never got the chance to visit her.

The clicks of the door lock made my body alert. My grip tightened on the handle of the dagger. I really wonder why I prefer using blades instead of guns. Maybe, because I love to see them suffer until they die? Masyadong mabilis kapag baril, e.

Mabilis ko namang tinulak ang dagger patago sa may unan ng makitang si Zero lang pala 'yon. My body become calm with the sight of him. No danger, at least. Akala ko, nakilala agad nila ako.

"Why are you here? Hindi ka man lang nagsasalita." I smiled to him. Worry is painted all over his face. Does he know?

"Hey, Zero?"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why do you have to endure it all alone?"

"Why! Dapat sinabihan mo ako. Ako ang lalaki, I should've protect. Hindi dapat kita pinabayaan. Dolce! Bakit?"

Bumagsak ang kamay kong nakahawak sa dagger. How did he know? Imposibleng narinig niya lang ako kanina. Kulang 'yon. He looks like he could kill someone right now, but that can't solve everything. Hindi matatapos ang lahat kapag namatay si Papa.

"H-how?"

"Narinig ko kay Papa. Sinabi ni Tito kay Papa lahat. My father's devastated right now. Hindi niya akalain na ganoon ang pinagdaanan mo."

"When? Kausap ko si Papa kanina."

"Habang nasa Hacienda tayo. Umuwi ako sa bahay pagkarating natin. Iyon ang naabutan ko. They're so worried for you. Walang tigil ang iyak ni mama habang nagkukwento si Tito."

"What?"

My system started to boil up. Why can't he just let me decide for my own? Ayokong sabihin sa kanila, pero dahil lang hindi ko nasagot agad ang tawag niya sinabi niya agad lahat. How talk s**t, he is.

"Alam ba ni Tita?"

Mahinang umiling ako sa kaniya. Wala na akong balita kay Mama simula noong umalis siya ng bansa. We never communicated, hindi ko na binalak.

"Dapat sabihin natin kay Tita. Maybe she can help you. You know how powerful your mother is. Kayang-kaya ka niyang kunin kay Tito."

"But she never did. Hinayaan niya akong mabuhay sa piling ni Papa. She left me to burn in hell."

"Dolce."

"Don't. Okay lang ako. Sanay na ako. It has been my life since then."

Nanlulumong lumapit siya sa akin. He embraced me fully, gripping my body into his. It feels like he never want me to go. I feel calm, but I know this will last.

"I'll help you, Dolce. Hindi ako papayag na maging ganito ka pagtagal. Don't worry. Just hang on a little bit, okay? Hihingi ako nang tulong."

Tears started swelling up in my eyes. Niyakap ko naman siya pabalik. Am I really worth it? Bakit kailangan niya pa akong tulungan? It's not like I need help, I'm too exhausted to shout for help.

Nakakapagod sumigaw, that's why I decided to silence up and endure it all. Maybe it will change, if I change my ways. Baka kapag tumahimik ako may makinig na din sa akin, pero may magagawa ba talaga sila?

My father will never let me out. Alam niya namang may pakinabang pa ako. That's why, he'll never set me free. At saka ako ang nakakaalam ng lahat. I'm the living evidence of his crimes. Ako ang sisira kay Papa.

"Paano? Hindi natin kaya si Papa."

"Shh, ako ang bahala. Magtiwala ka lang sa akin. Tutulungan kita. Gagawin ko lahat."

I shut my eyes tightly. Stopping myself from being too emotional. I don't want to hope, ayokong ma-disappoint kapag wala siyang nagawa. I don't want to ruin myself from hoping on what's impossible.

"Matutulog na ako. Do whatever you want." He stiffened at my tone.

Alam kong gusto niya lang akong tulungan, pero tapos na ako na ako doon. I don't need any help now, Im done.

"Good night." I felt him kiss my forehead lightly before loosing his grip. I didn't meet his eyes. Ayokong makita niya ang totoong nararamdaman ko ngayon.

I want to be saved. I desperately want to, but what can they do? Masyado na akong maraming kasalanang nagawa para kay Papa. I'll never be saved. Physically yes, but emotionally it'll remain. Hindi na nila maaalis ang kinasanayan ko. I live like this and probably I'll die living like this.

Tumalikod na siya sa akin. My hand's shaking right now. I want to stop him from leaving, but I don't want to complicate things. He's my cousin, my most precious one. Alam kong hindi mananahimik si Papa kapag nalaman niya ito.

Maybe we're not blood related, but that doesn't define family, right? They're my family. Sila lang. I'll definitely do anything para sa kanila.

Despite of my shaking hands, kinuha ko pa din ang cellphone ko. It's too predictable, alam kong kay Mama siya hihingi ng tulong. I need to make sure na makakarating siya ng France ng ligtas.

I watch as how the rough surface of my phone dig to my palms. I tried to open it, but it didn't work. My grip tightened even more at my phone that made the blood rush out of my palm. Even blood are so eager for freedom.

My lips twitched and form a frown, what a shame. I hope he can handle it all. I watch my own reflection on the vanity mirror besides me. Even my own expression makes me shiver. Dark protruded eyes, lips curled into a smirk.

Am I really like this? Did my father turn me into this or is it I who turn myself like this? I no longer want to be saved, because I'm done hoping. No matter how helpless will I look, no matter how loud will I scream and no matter how miserable will my life become, no one ever came.

Deities? God? They're aren't true, they never help me. I can only rely to myself to survive in this world. And first thing to do is to gather power. Power in exchange of my dignity.