Artamiel: The Black Angel

Chapter 6| The Incubus and The Daisy

I stared at myself through the mirror. Namumula ang buong mukha ko pababa hanggang sa leeg. Mas mapula din ang labi ko at ang mga talukap ng mga mata ko ay bahagyang bumabagsak na. 

Hindi ko kasi natanggihan si Luca at ang mga kaibigan n'ya nang hiritan nila ako na tikman ang isang shot ng alak. Nasundan pa 'yon ng dalawa pa bago ko nagawang makakawala sa grupo nila. 

I want to go home. But I don't have my phone with me to call my Mom. Ipinagpaalam kasi ako ni Luca na hindi makakauwi gawa sa party na 'to. Ayaw ni Daddy pero si Mommy ang batas sa amin. Mommy thinks that I need this. Kailangan ko na sumubok makipag-socialize at itong party ni Luca ang first step ko. 

I tried to mingle with her friends. Hindi ko lang talaga sila kayang masabayan sa pagsasaya dahil naiilang at nahihiya ako. I feel like an outsider. I can see Luca's efforts to always include me, but I'm not really a fan of attention. It suffocates me every time I got the spotlight. 

My knees felt little shaky when I stepped towards the door. 'Pag labas ko pa lang ng powder room ay si Nixon na agad ang bumungad sa akin. 

His cold pair of dark orbs bore into me. It never failed to make me shiver. Kapag nagkakasalubong ang mga titig namin ni Nixon, ay nanlalambot ako. Para kasing deretso sa kaluluwa ang mga mata n'ya. 

"H-Hi," alanganing bati ko. Ni hindi ko nagawang ngumiti.

Hindi ko napigilan na kagatin ang ibabang labi ko nang magtagal pa ang titig n'ya sa mukha ko. At halos lumundag ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang magbuntong-hininga s'ya.

"I got worried when I didn't see you on Luca's side," mahinahon na sabi n'ya at hinawakan ang braso ko. 

My lips slightly parted. I can feel my heart beating wildly against my chest. "I-I..."

My mind can't find the right words to say. 

Nixon's presence can create havoc on my system, but at the same time, it soothes me. Kapag nasa paligid s'ya, parang may protective blanket na nakabalot sa akin. Nothing can harm me whenever he's around. 

His hand slid down to my hand. He grasp my hand firmly then he pulled me towards the staircase. Tahimik na nakasunod lang ako sa kanya at hinayaan s'ya sa gusto n'yang gawin. Ayoko din naman kasi na bumalik pa sa party. 

"It's not ideal for you to drink, Prudence," pagalit n'ya sa akin. "You're still taking maintenance meds, right?" 

I bit my lip then murmured an apology. 

"You should learn how to say 'no', Prudence. Hindi pwede na palagi ka na lang tumatango," inis na sabi ni Nixon at hinila ako papasok sa isang silid. 

"I just don't want to ruin Luca's mood," I said in a low voice. 

I heard him sighed then he cupped my face. He made me look up at him. 

Sa titig ni Nixon, para s'yang may sasabihin pero wala naman s'yang sinabi. Unti-unti lang bumaba ang mukha n'ya hanggang sa lumapat ang labi n'ya sa noo ko. 

Napapikit ako sa mainit na sensasyong humaplos sa akin.

"Happy birthday, Prudence," he murmured. His lips still against my forehead. 

With my shaky arms, I held his waist. "T-Thank you, Nixon." 

He pulled me against his body then he wrapped my his arms on me. I felt him kissing the top of my head. 

"C-Can you put the necklace on me?" kinakabahang tanong ko sa kanya. Ang tinutukoy ko ay 'yong bigay n'ya sa akin kanina. 

"Of course," he said in his usual tone. 'Yong parang walang gana sa kausap. 

Kumalas ako sa yakap n'ya at kinuha ang regalo n'ya sa bulsa ko. Inabot ko sa kanya 'yon.

Hindi binuksan ni Nixon ang ilaw pero hinawi naman n'ya ang makapal na kurtina at maliwanag ang buwan na nakasilip mula sa labas. Sa tulong ng liwanag ng buwan, nakita ko ang pagkislap ng bato na nasa pendant. 

It was a fine white gold chain with a flower pendant. On the middle of the flower was a diamond. It's simple but elegant. 

Kinuha ni Nixon sa kamay ko ang kwintas. At hinawakan ako sa magkabilang balikat ko. Itinalikod n'ya ako sa kanya.

Nakita ko ang repleksyon namin sa malaking bintana. Napigil ko ang paghinga nang magtama ang mga mata namin ni Nixon. Taimtim ang titig n'ya sa akin habang isinusuot ang kwintas sa leeg ko. 

"Daisy," he murmured. I can feel the tiny hair in my nape stood as his fingers gently touched my skin. "Simple, pure, and innocent. Just like you," he smiled at me. 

I caught my breath at his gentle smile. Bihira na ngumiti si Nixon. At sobrang nakakamangha ang ngiiti n'ya. It's genuine. 

Tears fell on my cheeks. Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng noo ni Nixon bago n'ya ako pinihit paharap sa kanya. Nakapikit ang mga mata ko habang pinapahid n'ya ang mga luha ko. Gentle sobs escaped my mouth. 

"Hey," he cooed. 

"Thank you, Nixon," I murmured. 

I threw my arms on him. I placed my face on his chest then I cried. 

I remembered those days when I was on a hospital bed, scared and lonely. Sa tagal ng pananatili ko sa ospital, ilang beses akong nabisita ni Tito Nate, at palagi n'yang kasama si Nixon. 

I was nine when Nixon started his constant summer visits on me. He's always bringing daisies with him. Ang sabi n'ya naaalala n'ya daw ako sa bulaklak na 'yon. 

N'ong hindi pa ako nakakakita, inilalarawan lang 'yon ni Nixon sa akin. 

'Yong tono ng boses n'ya, para palaging tinatamad mag-salita, pero hindi naman s'ya tumitigil. Matyaga na kinakausap n'ya ako at sinasagot ang mga tanong ko. 

April has been my favorite month ever since. Buong April kasi ay araw-araw na kasama ko si Nixon. Ang sabi ni Mommy, sa sakit namatay ang Mommy ni Nixon, kaya may soft spot sila Tito Nate at Nixon sa mga taong nasa ospital. Kaya mabait s'ya sa akin.

Ever since I was nine, I was in love with Nixon. Hindi ko lang masabi sa kanya dahil ayoko na matakot s'ya sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya. I am special to him because he pities me. Naaawa lang s'ya sa akin. 

At ito ang pinaka-selfish na nagawa ko. Ang samantalahin ang awa n'ya sa akin. 

Mas hinigpitan ko ang yakap ko sa kanya. "Thank you, Nixon."

He rubbed my back. "Always, Pru. For always."

After some moment, he led me to the bed. Pinahiga n'ya ako. Saka ko lang naramdaman na nahihilo ako. Umeepekto na ang mga pinainom ni Luca sa akin. 

"I'll get you a bottle of water. Try to get some rest," Nixon said then lifted the comforter up to my chest. Pinanood ko s'ya sa pagsara n'ya ng kurtina at hindi ko na masyadong makita ang paglakad n'ya papunta sa pinto. Basta bumukas at sumara na lang ang pinto. 

I closed my eyes then relaxed myself on the bed. 

Nixon Gareth Vergara. I hope for a day when I can finally be honest with my feelings for him. 

I am not drinking any alcohol ever again. 

I grunted at the annoying sound buzzing on my ear. There's a pounding in my head too. Three shots, and I am this wasted. 

I removed the warm comforter covering me. It was suffocating. And my body feels hot. 

My head hurts even worse when the blaring sound of loud music filled my senses. I groaned at the discomfort. Thankfully, it stopped at the sound of... a closing door? 

Nasaan nga ba ako?

I tried to open my eyes but I can't see anything but the darkness. Even on the dark, I felt dizzy. I groaned something, but even on my ears, I can't understand. 

I fell unconscious. Then I was pulled from the dreamland when I felt hot soft object pressed on my neck. My lips parted at the sensation. 

Sensation? 

What's this? 

I felt a hot body pressed on me. Only then I realized that I was kissed on my neck, and now those pair of lips were now on my collar bone. 

I moaned and tried to push it away from me. But my arms were too weak, and those lips were starting to suck out my rational thoughts.

And the sensations were intensifying the heat I have on me, but it's appeasing the need I never knew I had in me until this very moment. 

My fingers curled on soft, damp hair. Those blazing lips were now on my upper chest. 

What should I do? 

My logical reasoning was nowhere to be found. With my eyes closed, melted reasons, and aching for sensations body, I just lay there, let my body decide for me. 

My body arched at the sound of torn clothes. Was it mine? I don't know. 

And I completely drifted to the abyss of darkness when warm, soft pair of thing closed around my n****e. Were those lips? Probably. And I was completely lost at the pool of burning sensations with all the tickling move of lips and gentle fingers on me. My mind melted in the middle of euphoria. And I can't keep track of the things I am feeling on my body. 

It's... I don't know. It excites every nerve in me. 

But it was short-lived because an excruciating pain ripped me in half. 

My throat got sore from the scream that escaped my mouth. 

On top of me, I saw a silhouette of a man. In spite of the tears and the darkness of the room, I squinted my eyes, trying to get a picture of it. But I just felt the world spin fast around me. 

And as my body slumped back on bed, I lost consciousness once more. 

I was woken up by the intense pain on my head. It felt like I was hammered. And the pain was all over me. Not just on my head, but my body's aching as well. And the space between my legs throbbed as I tried to sat down. I felt like I was rolled on by a tractor. 

My throat vibrated for a groan when I tried to open my eyes. The blinding light welcomed my eyes. It took me some moment before I adjusted with the lumen of the surrounding. 

My eyes dropped on my body. My jaw fell upon recognizing the blue dress shirt I am wearing. My eyes flew around the room. And my heart dropped on my stomach when I saw Nixon by the window of the room. He's only on his white shorts. 

His face was grave as he looked out the window, jaw clenched, eyes shouting murder, and fist white from gripping the bottle of water too tight. He's too rigid standing there, and he looks like he's ready to kill anyone any moment. 

My mind wants to conclude something, but I refused it. I move my legs, not minding the pain I felt, then I hugged my knees. I buried my face on my knees, and my tears streamed down when I saw a patch of blood on the white sheets. 

Every part of me aches. 

What happened? 

My sobs broke the silence of the room. 

What happened to me? 

I felt warm arms wrapped around me. I shook at the touch and I moved away from him. 

I lifted my head and I saw how pain and fury mixed well on Nixon's eyes. His orbs darkened even more. 

"I-It's not you..." I whispered with a weak voice. 

I can feel it in my heart. And by the way his face couture with grim expression, I know it's not him. 

He hushed me then pulled me to his body. 

I let him comfort me. I threw my arms around him then I cried on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured in a weak voice. 

I don't know how long it took Nixon to calm me down. He handed me a bottle of water then he asked me to wash myself on the bathroom. 

I blankly stare at the white wall of the shower room as I let the cold water wash down on my body. 

I was disgusted with myself. 

How can I let something evil taint me? 

I shouldn't have let Luca rule me. Hindi ko sana ininom ang pinainom n'ya. Kung sana, naging matatag ako sa desisyon ko. Kung sana nanindigan ako sa ayaw ko. 

Kung hindi sa ako ganito, hindi sana...

I found myself hysterically crying. 

"Prudence?" I heard Nixon calling from the other side of the door. He knocked, but I was too wrapped up with my dreading thoughts. 

I was... raped. 

It sunk in me. And it felt like a thousand stabs on my being. 

I screamed the pain I have in me. I clawed my arms. I grabbed the shower gel and I desperately poured its content on me. 

Nakakadiri. I am disgusting. 

My eyes were starting to blur as I found it harder and harder to breath with each passing seconds. I can feel the burning pain on my skin as I roughly brush it with my hands. 

My fingers were already clawing my neck when strong pair of hands stopped me. 

"Stop," Nixon said in a firm tone. 

Nixon turned the shower off then he wrapped a towel around me. He enclosed me in his warm hug then he kissed my head. 

"I..." 

I can't even form words to describe how disgusted I am with myself. 

"Shh. Don't say anything," he cooed then he pulled me out of the shower room. 

Nixon placed the toilet cover down then he sat me there. 

"Stay here, okay?" he gently said. 

I simply nodded my head. 

My eyes were open but I can't see anything. I just felt my body being lifted then I was placed inside the tub of warm water. I was still wrapped by the white towel. 

I was staring blankly when Nixon started combing the strands of my hair. 

In the chaos I have within me, he soothes me. 

"N-Nixon..." I cried.

He cleared his throat. " You're still you, Prudence. You're still beautiful, pure, and innocent like a daisy," he whispered then his head rested on top of my head. 

And my heart broke even more at his words. 

No. I am not like a daisy anymore. 

I was tainted. 

And I don't even know who was the incubus who took a piece of me. A piece of me that I can never take back.