Artamiel: The Black Angel

Chapter 7| Chasing Demons

"Hey," Nixon gently called then he placed a food container on my table. 

From looking out the window, I averted my eyes on him. His usual passive face was now showing too much concern as he looked down on me. I looked around and I saw everyone watching us curiously. 

I bit my inner cheeks to prevent myself from crying. It's been more than a week, but I'm still in haze from what happened at Luca's party. I want to deny it, but I know it will forever be in me. I lose something I could never take back. I lose a precious part of me that I can never have back. 

I can feel my eyes burning upon remembering that penitent, shameful, and degrading part of my life. I lost my purity to someone I don't even know. I will be forever disgusted with myself. I don't deserve anyone now. I don't deserve walking down the isle on a white wedding dress. 

I am a disgusting being. And this revolting feeling against myself will forever be part of me. I regret everything. I regret that I am like this. 

That morning, Nixon had his Dad drove for us then took me home. He threaded a story that I fell on the pool then I stumbled on bushes, which explained why I was only on his shirt and I got scratches on my skin. I begged him to keep everything just between the two of us. 

According to Nixon, he left me on the room to get a bottle of water, then he saw his cousin, Kuya Nexus, and talked to him to say that he's not going home that night because he was worried for me. He already called his Dad that he'll be looking after me, and Tito Nate said that he'll just pick his son up the next day. Hindi n'ya ako nabalikan agad dahil hinanap n'ya pa si Artamiel, who was busy with Luca that time on a shower room. When he returned to the room where he left me, he just found me naked, clothes ripped, and dignity stripped off. 

He asked me if I want to investigate on what happened, on who the criminal was. But I was too scared to make a move. I don't want to hurt my family. I don't want Luca to be blamed. I don't want to let anybody know about how tainted I was. 

This is moronic, but I want to keep the pure image everybody branded me with. I want to stay as the Prudence they knew. I don't want to be some girl who got molested, and she doesn't even know who abused her. No. I don't want that. 

"Lunch time's almost over," Nixon said in a very gentle tone. I can hear gasped from the others. They're appalled at his sudden change of attitude. 

My mind was still somewhere else while Nixon opened the food container in front of me. He even opened a bottle of water, and I jumped on my seat when he placed the utensils on each of my hands. 

"Eat, Prudence. Or I will feed you," he warned. This time, he used his usual cold tone. 

Afraid of getting too much attention if Nixon really do what he said, I started eating. I don't have the appetite. I feel like I was swallowing sands. But I know I should eat. I don't want to worry him even more. 

Ngayon lang ulit ako pumasok since Valentine's Day. For the first time in my life, I was thankful that I got a fragile body. From too much thinking and depression, I got sick. I was absent for a week. Gusto ko pa sana na mag-absent ulit, pero ayoko naman na dalahin na ako ng parents ko sa ospital at ipa-check. I am too afraid that they'll find out something odd on me if they do. Kaya pinilit ko na lang na pumasok. 

Nixon stayed on my side until I finished my food. 

"T-Thank you," I said in a small voice. 

He simply nodded at me then he went back to his usual seat. 

I tried my best to act normal the rest of the day. It was not hard since the normal me would just sit on her chair, lips tightly sealed, head bowed when walking around, and just watch the world spin around her. Ang hindi ko lang magawa sa ngayon ay ang manood sa paligid ko. Mas madalas na natutulala ako, at nilalait ang sarili ko. 

"Seems like Nixon's finally making a move on you."

My lips parted and got dizzy as I heard a mocking voice beside me. 

I excused myself from our class. I was already on my way to the restroom. 

I looked beside me and I found Artamiel Nikolai Vergara looking down at me with his sarcastic grin. 

Artamiel. He's the personification of deception. At first glance, he's a princely boy with a charming aura around him. He's generous with his sweet smile and smooth talking. He's every girls' dream boy. But behind the ideal personality he feigns to everyone, he's a manipulative being. He's using his charms to bend you on his will. He'll make you believe that he's the one pleasing you but in reality, you're on his mercy. You're moving according to his will. 

On my years of watching him and his every moves, I cracked his code. He was different personalities rolled into one. He's changing his masks according to what he thought will satisfy you. And while you're thinking that he's serving you, pleasing you, the reality was he's just playing with you. 

"So what do you do now?" he gave me a mocking grin.

I just stared blankly at him. 

He has this silly idea that I was just like him. That what I show was just a facade. That this is not the real me. 

I chose not to answer him. It's useless. 

He'll just assume the worst of me. 

And now, I just want to agree with him. 

Dahil iyon naman talaga ang nangyayari ngayon. I still want the pure, innocent image, kahit na alam ko na hindi na dapat. I don't deserve that anymore. I was tainted by somebody. 

Itinuloy ko na lang ang paglalakad ko. 

"Prudence," he called in a low tone. 

I stopped on my track. I turned and face him. Tears brimmed my eyes. 

His jaw fell. 

"I don't know," I murmured. "I don't know, alright."

His eyes burned my skin as he watched me closely.

"Something changed," he declared.

I just bit my lip then turned away from him. 

Artamiel was an enigma. His deep concern on what he thought my facade was a puzzle to me. 

He could be the ideal for everyone but me. He's always giving me malign judgement and unmerited insults. He always thought of the worst of me. 

But in spite of all those things, I can't help but keep my eyes on him. 

There's something deeper than his childish play. There's something more than his wicked schemes. There's something more to him than being a deceit. 

But I can't give a care for him right now. I have my own demon I am running away from. 

Now, I have skeletons in my closet as well. 

My steps were halted when I felt a tight grip on my arm. My body jerked up when I felt a burn on my skin where his hand gripped me. I pulled my arm from his grip then I gave out a horrified expression. 

He frowned at me but he was quick to put a mask on. He gave me a sweet smile. Too sweet that it sent me chills. 

"Don't play with my cousin. I'll have my eyes on you," he warned in a dangerous tone. "It takes one to know one, Prudence. I know how that little mind of yours work," he winked then he walked passed me. 

I was stunned at his declaration. What was he talking about?

I rubbed my hand on the arm he touched, trying to soothe the chills on my nerves. 

His touch...

I shut my eyes tightly then I shook my head. 

No. Impossible. 

I was just imagining things. I was thinking too much about it that my mind malfunctioned and started to make its own conclusion just so I can have someone to blame aside from myself. 

I shouldn't be the one Artamiel assumed that I was. I shouldn't be judging people and point my finger like I was a god. 

I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't let him mess with my mind. 

"Plotting of a nice game play?" 

I gasped when he spoke on my ear. 

Anxiety stirred within me. 

I was still muddled on my emotions when I faced him. He's giving me a grim expression. 

"I..." 

He c****d a brow. "Nixon shouldn't be messed up with. If you want to f**k around, play with me instead," he smirked. 

"W-What are you talking about," I frowned at him.

He shrugged. "Wanna chase some demons?" 

My mouth fell. 

I really don't get him. 

He sighed. "Never mind."

He walked out on me after that. This time, he really walked out. 

I am having a hard time dealing with my emotions. And now, my mind was also in chaos, trying to decipher Artamiel's words. 

I know that I am always in love with Nixon, but Artamiel's mystery pulled me in. 

And this is crazy. 

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April 22, 2018 - 04:08