Commitment

Chapter 21

"Gusto kong maging miyembro ng Mafia de Contrares."

Matapang kong pahayag sa lalaking kalbo na na sa harapan ko. He's got tattooes all over his body and he was the Dean that welcomed me when I arrive here.

I found out he's the head of the Contario.

Tinignan ako nito na parang may isang nakakatawa na narinig. I eyed him with my serious face so he could realize I wasn't joking.

Tama, totoo ang nababasa niyo. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan aabot ang katangahan ko pero sa araw na ito, sinagad ko na iyon. Joining the Mafia, really Alena? You have guts, huh?

"You think joining the mafia will help you get even to those who wronged you?" he asked.

Tinatanong niya iyon na para ba na wala lang, na parang hindi niya kamag-anak ang lumapastangan sa akin. Ni hindi naman nga lang siya humingi ng patawad, not that I will aceept it but still, where is the decency?

I forgot, it doesn't exist in this world.

"Yes."

Ngumisi siya. "If you think being with the mafia is easy, think again little girl. Since a relative of mine has done you evilness, let me say this once and for all. This is hell, you can enter and the only way to leave is to die. This is not some friendly organization where you can just play because here you will be played and you can do nothing about that."

Malamig na tingin ang binibigay niya sa akin. Mula sa mga sinabi niya, gusto kong maiyak at tumakbo palayo, bawiin ang lahat ng sinabi at desisyon. Malapit ng mamuo ang luha sa mata ko pero pinigilan ko ito sa abot ng aking makakaya.

"Leave, Alena. Forget about this and just continue living."

But I really am stupid dahil buong buo na ang desisyon ko. Hindi nito matitibag ang kahit na anong salita. Hindi ako umalis at nanatiling nakatayo sa harap niya.

Nakita niya ang reaksyon ko at sa puntong iyon napagtanto niyang hindi ako nagbibiro.

"Have you talk to Rehan?"

"Walang kinalaman ang lalaking iyon dito."

Ngumisi siya kaya nainis ako.

"He will go ballistic once he hears this," sabi niya habang naiiling, pinipigilan ang tawa.

"You have six months, study and train. After that, if we see you improve and can withstand this harsh life then you will get your first tattoo."

And just like that, my life changed. Naging abala ako sa pagpasok araw araw para matuto ng ilang basic subjects kasama na rin doon ang history ng Mafia de Contrares at kung ano-ano pa na dapat kong malaman.

Habang nagaaral, sinasabay ko rin ang training na kasama si Silvana na tinutulungan ako. She's the first to train me about basic defense and when he came just like what Glaq said, Rehan went ballistic and Glaq almost lost his dear life.

"Why the f**k did you let her in?!!!!" dumagundong ang nakakatakot na boses ni Rehan sa buong Contario.

He's really really mad. Halos lumabas na ang ugat sa balat niya sa tindi ng galit nito. His neck became reddish paakyat ito sa mukha niya. His right fist bled from punching the wall. So stupid.

"I did want to, pinilit niya ang sarili niya Rehan!" kahit kinakabahan ang kalbo, pinilit pa rin niyang maging kalmado sa ganitong sitwasyon.

Isang kurap na nawala sa paningin ko si Rehan at nagulat ng makitang na sa harap na ito ni Glaq. Lumaki ang mata ko ng makitang sinakal niya ito gamit ang dalawang kamay. Glaq tried to fight but Rehan is too strong, nagsimula rin itong manghina ng makaramdam na ng kawalan sa hangin.

Glaq's eyes became swollen and reddish. He's choking but still fighting by slapping Rehan's strong hands. Lumilipas ang segundo pero hindi ko nakikitaan si Rehan ng pagtigil.

Shit! Mukhang makakapatay pa ang lalaking ito para sa akin. Ayoko magkaroon ng konsensya lalo sa taong katulad nila kaya hindi dapat ito mangyari.

Tumakbo ako ng mabilis at hinawakan ang kamay ni Rehan para awatin.

"Rehan, enough please!"

My eyes started to cry, damn this tears ayaw talaga paawat. Nakakatakot makakita ng pinapatay, punyeta!

Rehan's grip loosen a bit, until he let go of Glaq. Napaupo ito sa sahig sapo-sapo ang hangin na nawala sa kaniya. He's holding his neck like it was his dear life almost got taken by the devil.

"Rehan, this was my decision. Alright? I wanted this!"

Isang linggo makalipas ng pagsali ko, nabalitaan ito ni Rehan at galit na galit na umuwi ng Contario.

"Do you hear yourself, Ali? Are you in your f*****g mind?!"

"Ayoko ng makipagtalo tungkol dito. Nakapag-desisyon na ako at nasimulan ko na rin naman. Isa pa, kahit anong sabihin mo ay itutuloy ko ito."

"No, you listen!" he's shaking his head, the plead in his eyes that he doesn't want me to continue this. "Forget this—"

Tinalikuran ko siya sa inis ko. Tuloy tuloy ang lakad ko palabas sa opisina ni Glaq. I was really mad, nagtatakha ang ilang taong madaraanan ko but the hell I care.

Sumunod ang tingin nila sa likod ko, of course it's him. May malakas na puwersa ang humatak sa braso ko, paharap sa kaniya.

"You don't walk out to me like that!"

Ngumisi ako, "The f**k do you care, huh?"

Lumambot ang hawak nito sa akin kaya hinaltak ko pabalik ang kamay ko at muli siyang tinalikuran. Wala na akong pakialam sa kaniya at gagawin ko kung ano ang nasimulan ko.

I admit I have been immature making those decision without even thinking of its consequences. I got too emotional with all these f****d up shits inside me that I let Dario brainwashed me f*****g successfully.

I never blame anyone, all but myself. It was my decision, I wanted this, I chose this. I tried my best to keep up with how this life works, I failed miserably a couple of times but I pretty stood up and control things the way I want it to.

Many have been asking me what comes to my mind. They see me clear as crystal, very transparent and easy to read pero napapahiya sila mula sa kaisipan na iyon sa tuwing nakikita nila na taliwas ang nangyayari sa inaasahan nila.

I remember the days I have surrender myself. I was too weak and afraid. But despite those weaknesses I endured, Rehan was there fighting with me, to help me stand and be brave.

I got stunned when he suddenly kissed me. I was training Muay Thai with him, nagpahinga lang ako at uminom ng tubig. Lumapit siya sa akin and he did it.

"Ali, I'm in love with you." he said it like he's just spilling some 'how are you'.

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o ano. Rehan is what? In love with me? No, dear. That's impossible. He's Rehan, and I am just me.

"Stop spilling some bullshits, Rehan." malamig kong saad.

I'm fighting with my mind and heart right now. My mind keep insisting that this bastard is just fooling around but my heart says otherwise. This f*****g heart made me remember how he took care of me, how he's been so voicing out through action since then but I refuse to notice it because it's hard to believe.

Now, it's in front of me.

"I have fallen hard for you, noon pa. You don't need to believe, Ali. But let me court you, hmm?"

Ngayon, mahirap na talagang ikaila lalo nung magsimula siyang manligaw. He's over protective of me but now it changed! He's being clingy to the point na alam na ng lahat.

Or matagal ng alam ng lahat, ako na lang ang bulag.

I tried my best to avoid him. Hindi porke pinasok ko ang mundong ito ay maaari na ako sa kaniya. Masiyadong malayo ang agwat naming dalawa para magkalapit sa ganitong paraan. He's the heir and I'm just a nobody. Isang dumi sa kuko ng Mafia de Contrares.

Hindi rin naman ako tanga. Alam ko na marami ang tutol sa ginagawa ni Rehan sa akin, kabilang na roon ang kaniyang ama. I saw his father look at me with disgust like I was a b***h that tainted his son's purest soul. You don't know how much that look insults me.

Habang tumatagal, habang palayo ako ng palayo, palapit naman ng palapit ang puso ko sa kaniya. I was pushing him away but my heart was miserably broken. Traydor na katawan ito.

When he finally decided to let me go, of course it crashed the whole me.

So stupid, Alena.

The patient Ret Han Contrares is finally done with me and I could not accept that.

"I f*****g love you too asshole! So, don't you ever f*****g leave me again like that!!"

And you know what the brute did? He smiled like an idiot like he set me a trap and I fell for that!

"I knew it, Ali! It took you months before you finally admit it. Kaylangan ko pa talaga itong gawin para mapaamin ka? Kung alam ko lang sana noon pa na ang pagiwan sa iyo ang solusyon, ginawa ko na sana para hindi na tumagal pa."

I finished my six months studying everything I need to know. My first job— taga repack ng drugs. Doon ako nagsimula habang sa gabi ay nag ttraining ng mixed martial arts.

Sinasama rin ako ni Rehan sa ilang meetings na rito sa lang Contario, minsan naman sa mismong trabahon niya ay na sa tabi niya ako kaya dumarami lalo ang natututunan ko.

I was a fast learner kaya in the span of two months, I got promoted. A staff, I do all the legal paperworks, and the next is history.

Sa lahat ng hakbang na iyon, hawak ni Rehan ang kamay ko. Mas lalong lumalakas ang loob ko dahil sa walang tigil niyang pag-mold sa kakayahan ko. He's been very supportive of me through everything.

Rehan has become my life, bukod sa magulang ko, isa na siya sa dahilan kung bakit ko gustong mabuhay at maging masaya. He gave me everything and nothing but happiness.

Mahal ko siya, mahal na mahal at hindi ko hahayaan na masaktan siya.

But who am I kidding? I'm also using him to get what I want. I want to be at the top, I want to have that kind of power, seriously. Not for the bad things, pero gusto kong itama ang mga mali.