She's A Gangster Princess

CHAPTER 1: FIRST DAY

The majority of students were probably excited on the first day of school. Everyone is ecstatic to be reunited with their friends after a few months of being apart and is eager to share their escapades during their vacation. Siguradong lahat sila ay may kani-kaniyang kwento mula sa naging bakasyon nila, and ofcourse, I also have mine. I sighed at the thought.

Looking at my navy blue collared polo shirt with ribbon tie and black above the knee skirt with thick splits partnered with white cotton sock, no doubt that I am a freaking student. My grip tightened on my name plate, which was etched with our university's insignia.

"It's been 20 minutes, Lady Smith. Hindi pa po ba kayo tutuloy?” I direct my gaze at my personal driver. It's been 20 minutes, and I still don't have the guts to embrace another fictitious identity. I've had so many problems in the last month that it's exhausting for me to act as if everything is good.

I walked out of our car against my will to finally enter the University. I wouldn't be going to class if I could stay at home, but our home no longer feels the same. The warmth and comfort are no longer there; it's too cold now, and loneliness oftenly visits me. Now I know that the word "alone" should not be used, because it's impossible to be alone. We'll never be alone. There's always sorrow and loneliness around the corner, ready to be with you from dawn 'til dusk.

"Good morning, Miss Nadz," a group of students said as they approached me. Labag man sa loob ko ay pilit pa rin ako'ng ngumiti sa kanila. I can clearly notice everyone's admiration in their eyes as I passed by the corridor, and this is what I hated the most: they were expecting too much from me, which has never been in my personality.

Being rich and popular won't do any good to me. I clasped my hand with the thought. Palagi nilang iniisip na perpekto ang buhay kapag mayaman ka, which is far from the truth. They will always act as if they know everything about you when they just know your name; people's hypocrisy is definitely in their nature. Nobody knows me the way I know myself at sigurado ako na kapag nakilala nila kung sino nga ba ang Cherry Nadine Smith na tinitingala nila ay baka magsisi sila. I am not the ideal student they imagined I was.

I glanced at my hand when I felt pain in it because of my firm grasp. It quickly turned bloody. I dashed into the nearest restroom without minding the greetings and gifts they were conferring. My hands are trembling uncontrollably as I close the door. The picture of blood in my hand is not receding; rather, it is becoming worse. Kahit gaano pa kadiin ang gawin ko’ng pagkuskos ay walang nangyayari, I can still vividly see the blood. Tanging ang ingay lamang nang nakabukas na faucet ang aki'ng naririnig sa loob pero hindi ko pa rin magawang pakalmahin ang aking sarili. I knocked my head in the mirror in front of me and leaned against the wall, as if I had lost all energy despite the fact that it was only the beginning of the day.

Never in my life did I see myself in this situation dahil lumaki ako’ng tinuturuan kung paano ko poprotektahan ang sarili ko. Because of the status that we have ay marami ang nagtatangka na gawan ako nang masama kaya bata pa lang ay sinigurado na ni mommy na alam ko kung paano ko mapoprotektahan ang sarili ko.

I swallowed the lump in my throat when I remembered my mom. I took a deep breath and immediately wiped the tear from my eyes, this is not the time for drama. I am much stronger than this feeling. Kinuha ko ang kit na nasa loob ng aking bag at inayos ang nagulo ko’ng buhok. Matagal ko’ng tinitigan ang deep brown eyeliner na hawak ko bago nagpasya na gamitin ito. I look more intimidating than before and I think it suits me well.

Lumabas ako na para bang walang nangyari I just found myself smiling at the line of students who were shocked to see me moving out from the locked restroom. Despite their curiosity, they still smiled back, but I don't care. This is my final year as a senior high school student, and I will surely not miss this place. Kinuha ko ang phone ko sa bag nang mag-ring ito. If it’s not my only friend, I won’t answer this call.

"Hello, Chesca?” I asked as soon as I swiped the answer button. Chesca is a childhood friend of mine. We had been in the same class since elementary school, but we didn't become friends before sixth grade. I'm not sure why we became friends despite the fact that we were always competing academically, or m aybe because we realize that high school will be a large battleground with many rivals. We were already friends before we learned that wealth can eliminate competitiveness.

“Wala man lang ba muna’ng good morning o kaya I miss you? Grabe, parang wala lang sa’yo yung two months na hindi tayo nagkita. Baka nakakalimutan mo na best friend mo ako kaya nakakatampo na hindi mo man lang ako nagawang kontakin sa loob ng dalawang buwan. Tapos hindi mo man lang ako sinabihan na nakauwi ka na pala sa Pilipinas, kung hindi ko pa hiningi ang number mo sa driver n’yo ay hindi ko malalaman na nagpalit ka na pala ng sim at –.” Hindi ko na s’ya pinatapos pa sa pagsasalita at pinatay ko na ang tawag nang matanaw ko siya’ng naglalakad sa gitna ng field. Ang init init tapos doon s’ya dumadaan. Napailing pa ako nang matumba si Chesca nang makabungguan niya ang isa’ng grupo ng mga lalaki.

Tinulungan s’yang tumayo nang nakabunggo sa kan’ya at base sa mga kilos nila ay maayos naman ang lahat. Nagtawanan pa sila at mukhang nagbibiruan. She’s always like that, cheerful and friendly — a big opposite of mine. Hindi ako sanay na makipag-interact sa iba’ng tao kahit pa sabihin na marami ang nakakakilala sa akin.

‘Attention, students! Please assembled in the auditorium for class orientation.’

Itinago ko na ang phone ko sa bag na walang iba’ng laman kung hindi wallet. I plan to cut class anyway. Hindi ko pinansin ang nakakabinging announcement mula sa communication department at nagtuloy-tuloy na lang ako sa paglalakad na kasalungat nang direksyon kung nasaan si Chesca. Almost 6 years na ako’ng nag-aaral dito at saulo ko na ang lahat nang sasabihin sa class orientation, just all about rules and regulations, school events and extra-curricular activities.

“Ouch!” Daing ko nang maramdaman ang hapdi sa aki’ng braso dahil sa pagkakatumba sa sementadong hagdan. Tiningala ko ang lalaking naging dahilan nang pagbagsak ko at sinamaan ito ng tingin.

“Chill! I’m sorry okay? Hindi ko naman sinasadya, Miss.” Napairap pa ako rito dahil mukhang antipatiko siya. He didn’t even dare to offer help kaya agad ko’ng itinukod ang kanan ko’ng kamay upang tumayo at nagpagpag ng dumi sa katawan.

“I didn’t say any.” Bulong ko na mukhang narinig n’ya naman dahil sumagot pa ito.

“Wala ka ngang sinasabi pero sa tingin mo palang ay akala mo may nagawa ako’ng isang ng krimen.” Mas lalo ako’ng nainis sa sinabi niya at para hindi na humaba pa ang usapan ay nilampasan ko na lang s’ya. Mas kailangan ko nang kapayapaan ngayon kesa sakit ng ulo. I'm not in the mood to argue with him, but it seems that the peace I had planned for today has been shattered as he grabbed my arm. I flinched in pain when he touched my wound. “Miss, dito ang daan papuntang auditorium, hindi d’yan.” His face is not familiar but he seems to know the academy dahil itinuro n’ya pa ang building kung nasaan ang auditorium.

“Do you think I care?” Seryoso ko’ng sabi. Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak n’ya sa braso ko at pabagsak ko ito’ng binitiwan, para naman maramdaman niya ang inis ko sa kaniya. Wala s’yang naging kibo at gulat lamang s’ya na nakatingin sa akin. Hindi ko na pinansin pa ang lalaking sumira sa ila’ng minuto ko at nagtuloy-tuloy na lamang ako sa pag-alis. Buti naman at hindi n’ya na ako pinigilan.