A Fairy Tale Like World

AFLW 7: Saying Goodbye

AFLW 7: Saying Goodbye

***

Chase POV

I kick my motorbike to start and drive to school like a madman from hell. I got all the students, near the parking and near the gate's, attention. I let my now long hair fall in my face but enough to see where I was walking. How many months had passed? 5, 6, or more months? Since she left I didn't bother to cut my hair short.

I just walk lazily to where our first subject should be. I nod to Laxus while he tap my shoulder when I came in. It's just the two of us in this class. And hey, did I already told you that DK and BA are now good friends? I think not, but I guess it was obvious since SF and I are together for two years or more.

"They wanted to talk later, Chase. Somewhere private and they chose DK's HQ." Laxus started the moment I took the seat beside him.

I frown and look at him confused. What did he mean? Who wanted to talk who? "Who?" It is almost sounded like a low growl. Since she was gone my life is not the same anymore.

"Our friends seem important." He replied and looking at me like I'm a dumb s**t.

"Oh," that's all I can say. I sigh and leaned back in my chair. I know I have been neglecting my friends. And I kinda feel awful about what I did. I swallowed the longing and the unbearable pain for too much and almost forgot about them. Although they never leave by my side, even for once.

What did I do to myself?

"We'll go there after class. And please, Chase, show up this time." He said in a low voice and sigh. "I'll wait in the parking after class to make sure you will come." He added with finality.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

Our professor came in and started discussing. While the others seem so focus on the discussion my mind drifted off somewhere. It is now wandering to where Shandra is. Wondering if what happens to her now? Where is she at this moment? At the Kingdom of Daichi or at the Imperial Palace already? Urgh! Fvck this life. Why I can't stop thinking about her?

(Jeez, Chase sounded like Aries already. What have I done? Look's like I messed up Chase.)

Because you love her with all your heart, idiot.

Yeah, yeah! For the life of me, I know that, you damn brain. Because all of my being especially my heart shouted only her name. That I love her more than anything in this world. And it is so hard to move on because my whole being doesn't want to, damn it.

I did not bother to attend my next class like I always did since that day. Once again, I sneak to the high school campus. Walk directly at the back of the classroom building, to the place where Shandra once fought with the JBW. This place is one of her favorite. We often hang out with them here together with the SC, even though DK and SC are not on good terms at that time.

I sigh, position myself in her favorite spot and my eyes wander in Timberland in front of me. On the other side of Timberland is the Royal House. A place where she belongs.

Nope, she doesn't belong there. She belongs in your arms, she's yours.

Her heart, yes. But her life doesn't. She belongs with her people, in a faraway land.

I close my eyes tightly and order my brain to stop thinking, even just for a bit. I just wanted to relax at the moment. Before I know it, I'm already asleep. Once again, I found myself hugging her tightly, a happy smile on our lips and eyes full of reflection of love, while we are watching the stars, in our sanctuary, our secret paradise. A dream, a memory.

Nagmulat ako ng mata at ngumiti ng mapakla. Every time I sleep I always end up dreaming of our memories together. Tiningnan ko ang oras, it's lunch time already. Tumayo na ako at pinagpag ang dumi na kumapit sa jeans ko. Naglakad na ako pabalik ng College Campus.

Marami ng nagkalat na estudyante pagpasok ng campus. Hindi ko pinansin ang mga nakakita sa akin na galing ako sa highschool. I don't care what other people think and say. I put my hands inside my jeans pocket and started walking towards the cafeteria. This will be the first time I'm eating there again since I isolated myself from people except for my friends.

I smirk when I notice that every student scattered or step back when I'm walking past them. I can feel the stares burning my back and I didn't mind all the whispers that air brought to my ears. I smiled bitterly, do I look like an alien?

Ang maingay na cafeteria ay biglang tumahimik ng pumasok ako at naglakad patungo sa mesa na palagi naming inuukopa. Seriously, what's wrong with these people? Hindi ko na lang din sila pinansin.

Nakita ko na kumpleto na ang barkada maliban sa akin, sa mahabang mesa sa gilid na bahagi ng cafeteria. No, I'm wrong. They are not complete and we will never be complete because the leader of BA, SF, or Shandra for us, the girl that I love so much will never be with us again.

Kumaway si X sa akin, nakangiti ng matamis ang mga babae at nakangisi ng malapad ang mga lalaki. It seems to me that they're thinking that at long last I am able to wake up from my deep slumber. That at long last I decided to see the world.

Hindi ko sila masisi kung ganun nga ang iniisip nila. Ilang buwan ko ding inilayo ang sarili ko sa totoong mundo. Sa nakalipas na buwan ay nabubuhay ako sa pantasya, panaginip and all of our memories together. Maybe it's time to start seeing the world again. I sigh. Can I do that without moving on? Maybe, yes I can exist in this reality but I know I will not be living at all.

"Hey, bro, good thing you decided to join us for lunch." Salubong ni Ash sa akin.

"It's been months Chase, welcome back." Nangiting biro ni Haven.

"Yeah, nakaka-miss ka din palang kasabay Chase." Yana added.

Tango lang sinagot ko sa lahat ng sinabi nila. Umupo na ako sa dati kung upuan subalit napako ang panangin ko sa katabing upuan. The chair usually occupied by Shandra. And again, my mind wander to memory lane. Napabaling ako kay Grey ng maramdaman ko ang pagtapik niya sa aking balikat.

"Are you alright?" He asks worriedly.

I sigh. Worry is visible in his eyes. Ng balingan ko ang iba puno din ng pag-alala ang kanilang mukha.

"I'm alright. I'm trying to be. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Chase, we understand." Courtney smile slowly, so the others.

I just nod. I look at the food in front of me and start eating. Hindi ko napansin na nakakakuha na pala ng pagkain para sa akin sina Vash and Ember. Ramdam ko pa rin ang madalas na pagsulyap ng mga estudyante sa pwesto namin.

"What happened? Bakit parang nakakita ng multo ang mga tao dito sa cafeteria?" I asked.

Heero laugh. "They're shocked because your here. Matagal na din kasi nilang napapansin na hindi ka sumasabay sa aming maglunch."

"Iniisip din ng marami na umalis ka na sa barkada. At marami rin ang nagsasabi na nakakatakot ka na daw ngayon." X said.

"Kaya ba lumalayo at nagbubulungan ang mga estudyante kapag dumadaan ako?"

"Exactly. Buti naman at napapansin mo na yan ngayon." Vash smirk.

"And what do you mean by that?" I frown.

"That means you're no longer in your own created world that made you oblivious to your surrounding," Renji answered.

"Mas maalala ka pa kasi kay Vash, Chase." Ace joke.

I shook my head while smiling and continue eating. Medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko na nakasama ko sila ngayon.

"Anu nga pala ang pag-uusapan naman mamaya?" I ask when I suddenly remembered what Laxus told me this morning.

Natigilan ang mga babae. Nahuli ng mga mata ko ang lihim nilang pagpapalitan ng tingin. Pati na si Grey at X.

"What's the matter?" Basag ko sa katahimikan.

"Ahm, let's talk about it after class in DK's - your HQ," Lei said while giving a glance to Yana.

"Okay, let's meet there after class. You don't have to wait for me Lax, I will be there."

Laxus nodded. Alam nilang may isang salita ako. When I say I'll be there, I will definitely be there. DK members will always be true to his word. We honor our words once we swear. That's why I let her go because I said so.

***

"I'm late," I murmured. Looking at my phone that burning in text and calls from my friends. I give a quick glance at GSU before I maneuver my motorbike out of the place.

I arrive at our HQ with almost 30 minutes left. Bumungad sa akin ang mga mukhang hindi maipinta kahit pa ng magaling na pintor. Naasar at nadidismaya sila sa pagkahuli ko sa oras ng usapan. And being late is not my cup of tea.

"Uh, uh, I'm deeply sorry for being late. It's not my intention." Itinaas ko ang mga kamay na parang sumusuko. Paraan para wala ng mahabang usapan.

"Ano bang ginawa mo para ma-late ka ng halos 30 minutes?" Kunot-noong tanong ni X.

"Kinausap ko lang si Zander saglit."

Laxus sigh. "Here we go again."

"Chase, you should stop this," Yana said in an almost pleading way.

"Let's not talk about that. Someone needs to tell something important, right?" Pag-iiba ko ng usapan. There's no need for them to dwell with my own problems. There are things that easier to be said than done.

Yana takes a deep breath as if relaxing herself. "I j-just - " she sighs. "I j-just w-wanted to inform everyone that I will be leaving for Spain, next week." Tumungo siya at umiwas ng tingin.

I heard Vash groan after hearing what Yana's said. Is there something that happened that I didn't know? What kind of friend I am? With Vash's reaction, I bet there is something wrong with him and Yana.

I look at Josh for confirmation. "With me." He said with a low voice.

Renji raises his hand. "Me and Lei, too. Our parents ask us to be with our grandparents in Italy."

"I decided to continue my Medicine in the U.S." Xanthel said with a grim look on his face.

Silence fills the living room. No one spoke. My eyes darted to the ones who said they will be leaving soon. I laugh bitterly in my mind. Are they really saying goodbye?

"So, you're saying goodbye then? There is someone else?" I ask with a serious tone.

Heero sigh and lowers down his head. "I'm also off to Australia."

I nodded my head at what he said. My eyes stop at Grey. He's been silent and stiff since this talk started and he never meets my gaze.

"Grey?"

"I'm sorry, bro. I don't want to go but Tito Ethan asks to go to Iceland. To start my training for the family business." He explains.

"Tito Ethan? Shandra's father?"

"Yes, he said I'm the only one capable for the post. Kuya Shi cannot fill in, since he is the Heir of the Throne. Ate Yen's busy for I don't know what. And - " He hesitates for a moment to continue but I know what he is trying to say. "And, Shandra making her way to become an Empress."

"You don't have to say that, you know." Lei snap at him and throw me a worried look.

"It's okay, Lei. Who else?" Binalingan ko sina Ash, Vash, Ace, Laxus, Haven, Ember, and Courtney. They shook their heads.

"I don't have plans in leaving the Philippines." Haven crosses her arms.

"Me either," Ember said and so the rest.

"So, next week na ba ang alis niyong lahat?" Ace ask.

They nodded, not able to find their voice to speak. Maybe, they are afraid to speak. Makikita mo ang lungkot sa kanilang mukha.

"This called for a party. Dapat nating sulitin ang mga natitirang araw na kumpleto pa tayo." Ash said smiling.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. That reminds me of someone immediately. No, Ash. We're no longer complete. I murmured quietly.

"I'll buy drinks." Vash volunteer. We don't have stock in the fridge. Naubos ko noong umuwi ako dito ng nakaraan.

"I'll go with you, Vash. Bili na rin tayong pagkain." Tumayo si Laxus saka binalingan si Haven. "Wanna come?" He asks hopefully.

"Sure." She accepted Laxus's hands.

I look to my friends who are going to say goodbye to us in a week. Bakas pa rin ang kalungkutan sa kanilang mukha pero sinasalubong na nila ang aking paningin.

"Cheer up, guys." Huh? Am I really the one who said that? Me, who cannot cheer up my own damn self. "You don't have to be sad, don't you? Magkikita pa rin naman tayo. Siguro makalipas ang ilang taon."

Unlike her, I can't see her again. Unless she will not be chosen which I highly doubt, base on what Zander said.

"Of course, wala naman kaming balak na manirahan sa ibang bansa, forever." Yana said and roll her eyes. Tumango din naman ang iba.

Bumalik ang tatlo na may dalang pagkain at chips, saka bote ng whisky. May balak atang magpakalasing ang mga ito ngayong gabi. Buti nalang sabado na bukas. Agad na binuksan ni Ash ang whisky at nagsimulang magsalin sa baso na kinuha ni Ace sa kitchen. Mukhang sali din ang mga babae sa inuman.

Makalipas ang ilang oras ay may mga tama na ang mga kasama ko. Bagsak na ang lahat maliban kay Laxus, Ace at ako. Ember, Lei and Yana ay kanina pa tumigil sa pag-inom at halos gumapang na paakyat sa taas upang matulog. Si Courtney at Haven ay sofa na nakatulog. Binuhat ni Laxus si Haven at si Ace naman ay si Courtney, inakyat nila sa taas ang dalawa.

Isinalin ko sa baso ko ang huling laman ng bote saka umakyat sa taas at dumiretso sa terrace. Hindi pa ako lasing dahil kunti lang naman nainom ko. Hindi kasi mawala sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Zander kanina.

Flashback

Hindi na ako nag-abala pang kumatok bago pumasok sa opisina ni Zander sa GSU. DK and BA are given the privilege to have and access to some restricted area here in GSU, including the Archon's Office.

"What do you want, Chase?" Zander asks in a bored tone. His attitude hasn't changed a bit. Same old Zander.

"How is she?" I ask directly without trying to beat a bush.

"She's fine." He replied.

"I want details, Zan."

He looks at me intently. As if making sure if I am serious. Mukha siyang nag-aalangan magsalita.

"Why keep doing this, Chase?"

"Just tell me, Zan." I seriously said, not answering his question. Honestly, I don't even know why I am doing this.

"She's in the Imperial Palace already."

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya at hindi agad nakabawi. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kung maramdaman. I just stand there, silent, trying to process what I heard.

"When?" I ask in a very low voice that I wonder if Zander will be able to hear.

"Yesterday."

End of Flashback

I smiled bitterly. Devastated and hurt is not enough to describe what I feel right now. She's almost there. She's closing to achieve and fulfill her duty.

Are hurting too, Shan? Like how I am hurting right now? Do you still think of me? I know you love me, Shan but I can't help to think that you might forget me. I murmured in the cold wind.

Is this the right time to finally say goodbye?