Lovesick

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

AKIRA

“Mama? Are you fine?” tanong ko pagpasok ko sa kwarto niya. Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Mama na nangayayat na.

"He's with his new found family again," she said while she cried her heart out and drank from the bottle she was holding.

Hinila ko si Mama papalapit sa akin para yakapin. “It’s okay, Ma. You still have me,” I said while patting her in her back.

“It’s not okay, Akira. I want you to have a complete family.” Hinawakan niya ang kaliwang kamay ko. “I’m sorry that I can’t give it to you anymore.” Naramdaman ko ang pagtulo ng luha niya sa kamay kong hawak-hawak niya gamit ang dalawa niyang kamay. “I’m so sorry, anak.”

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa kaliwang kamay ko gamit ang kanan kong kamay. “No, Ma. You don’t have to be sorry, because you complete me.” I gave her a small smile that comes from my heart. “You are already enough for me.”

"Thank you, Akira." She hugged me one more time.

Maya-maya pa ay gumaan na ang paghinga niya at naramdaman ko ang pagbigat ng ulo niya na nakapatong sa balikat ko.

Nang tignan ko siya ay nakita kong nakatulog na pala siya habang umiiyak at nakayakap sa akin.

Mayroon siyang tuyong luha sa pisngi habang ang mga labi naman niya ay nakakurba pataas.

I tucked her in the bed before I went out of her room and went straight to the kitchen.

Binuksan ko ang refrigerator namin para maghanap ng maiinom pero walang laman ito. Ilang linggo na rin kasi kaming hingi naggro-grocery ni Mama dahil palaging masama ang pakiramdam niya. Ayoko namang pilitin siyang lumabas, dahil alam kong kung mahirap at masakit para sa akin ang nangyayari, ay mas grabe ang nararamdaman niya.

Nang mag-vibrate ang cell phone ko ay tinignan ko ito. Nanginig ang mga kamay ko at naramdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng luha ko sa pisngi ko dahil sa nakita ko.

My cousin, Damien, just sent me a picture of my Dad facing the camera while eating in a restaurant with two girls whose faces were not shown in the image.

'Where did you get that?' I replied to his message. I kept biting my nails while waiting for his response because I was too nervous.

'I'm eating in the restaurant with my friend then I saw Tito here with someone' he answered after a minute.

'Do you think something is going on between my Dad and the girl he's talking to?' I asked.

'I don't know, Akira. Should I reach out to them?'

'No, don't. It would be best if you won't make yourself look stupid' I sent my message before I dropped my phone on the table.

"Ah, s**t!" I shouted at myself.

What the heck. He's happily eating with his mistress while Mama just cried herself to sleep. How dare that man. I couldn't believe that he was like this after all this time of defending him.

I want to drown myself in alcohol at this moment. I looked up at the shelf and drawers, but I couldn't find single alcohol in the house.

I called my boyfriend, but he's not picking up. "Come on, Roman. Pick up." I said to myself.

"Hey Babe, why did you call?" he said when he finally answered the phone after I rang him more than ten times already.

"Are you busy?" I asked.

"I'm trying to finish finalizing my current project. Why?" I've heard the paper rustling on the other end of the call.

"Nothing. I just want to know if you can accompany me somewhere." Sinalpak ko sa tote bag ko ang wallet ko at I.D.’s ko. "I mean, I…can you come over?"

He paused for a while before he talked. "I don't think I can make it tonight, Babe. All of my team are staying up for the night to finalize this. I can't leave them all alone," he explained.

Tumango-tango ako. “Yeah, yeah I know. I know that you’re busy with work.” Sinuklay ko ang buhok ko gamit ang mga daliri ko. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

"No, you didn't disturb me at all. I just wish that I don't have a lot on my plate right now so that I can accompany you. I'm sorry." I sensed that he was genuinely apologizing.

“It’s fine. I can just call another friend.” Yeah, right. Sino namang aayain ko eh wala naman akong kaibigan.

"I'm really sorry, Babe."

"It's fine. I'll hang up now," I said while I was opening our front door.

"I love you and take care."

“I love you too. Bye.” I said before I end the call. Napahinga ako ng malalim ng ibaba ko na ang tawag. Where will I go now?

Sumakay ako sa kotse ko at pinaandar ang makina nito. I texted Rieuka first before I drove off, to I don’t know where this car would take me.

When Rieuka finally came to the bar, I hugged her. "My friend, you're here," I said while hugging her tight. "You're finally here."

Hinawakan niya ang braso ko at hinarap niya ako sa kaniya. “You’re already drunk, Akira.”

“Me?” Tinuro ko ang sarili ko. “Tss, I’m not, Rieuka. I’m perfectly sober.” Tinulak ko ng pabiro ang kamay niyang nakakapit sa akin.

"I'll take you home," she said while guiding me to stand up.

Tinabig ko ang kamay niya. "I don't want to go home. It's hell there. I don't want to see that cheating bastard," I growled.

“Do you know where he is right now?” Tumalim ang tingin ko sa basong hawak-hawak ko. “He’s with his new found f*****g family.” Nilagok ko ng isang inuman ang alak na laman ng baso ko.

“Akira, stop drinking. You’re already drunk, and you’ve had enough.” Kinuha niya sa kamay ang basong hawak-hawak ko.

“Yeah, I’ve had enough with my cheating father.” Hindi ko na siya pinansin at itinaas ko ang kamay ko para magtawag ng waiter. Sumenyas ako sa kaniya ng isa pang baso ng alak na inorder ko.

"My Mom cried the whole night while he's smiling ears to ears. Isn't that f*****g great?" I said with greeted teeth. "I really want them to choke on their saliva's right now."

“Akira,” bulong ni Rieuka sa gilid ko.

"What? Are you going to tell me that I'm so mean? That I should watch my words?" I snarled at her.

Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko. “No, I just want you to calm down, so that we can talk properly.”

“Maayos naman tayong nag-uusap ah. I’m not like my Dad who’s hard to understand, because of his stupidity.” Inisang lagok ko ulit ang kakalagay pa lamang na alak ng bartender sa harapan ko.

"I want to talk to you without the influence of alcohol," she said while patting my back and trying to calm me down.

"I didn't tell you to come here to talk to me. I just want someone to be with me tonight," I said in a low tone of voice. “I don’t want to feel alone tonight,” sabi ko habang nakayuko at nilalaro ang basong hawak-hawak ko.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she said while pulling me into a hug. "Don't worry. You're not alone. I'm here. I'll always be here," she said while caressing my back.

I smiled at her. “Thank you!” bulong ko sa kaniya.

We stayed hugging each other without talking until I've felt a little better than earlier.

I looked up at her. "I'm a little sober now. I think I can already go home." I said while getting my wallet to pay for the drinks I've drunk.

“Are you sure? I’ll take you home.” Tumayo siya at inalalayan ako.

Umiling ako. "No, I'm really fine. I'll just take a cab from here."

"I'll book two cabs then," she said while typing at her phone.

Nginitian ko na lamang siya at napailing. Since day one, she's been too good for me, which made me doubt if she was genuinely real.

Tinignan ko ang phone ko at nakakita ako ng isang message. ‘Where are you? It’s already midnight’

Napairap ako sa ere. As if he really cared about me. For all I know, he's happy that I'm not home and Mom was already asleep so that he can go home acting like he didn't do anything wrong.

Instead of texting him back, I chose to turn off my phone and just looked at Rieuka.

"Thank you for coming here," I said while looking at her straight into her eyes.

“It’s nothing, because we are friends, right?” Tumango-tango naman ako sa kaniya.

"Yup, friends." I smiled brightly at her.

Tumayo siya. "I'll just go to the bathroom for a while," she said before standing up.

Tinanguan ko lamang siya at sinundan ng tingin. Naestatwa ako sa kinauupuan ko habang tinitignan ko siyang papalayo sa akin.

I don't know if I'm just imagining things because I'm drunk, or am I to dwell on my family problems, but while I'm looking at her back walking away from me. The image of one woman in the picture that Damien sent to me is becoming vivid in my mind. What am I seeing right now?

*END OF FLASHBACK*