Embracing Darkness

Gabbie “WHAT! You want me to live in the province again?!” I raised my eyebrows when I heard my father declare that I needed to stay in the province because he had received a death threat. Again. He is a judge, and nothing new about his work. To us, it's normal. But I can't agree with his decision right now because I have a lot of other plans. “Dad, no! I can't agree with you this time,” I told him as I started to leave his office. “Gabriela!” I frustratingly turned my head back to him. “My goodness! Why do you have to call me that name?” I hate it every time he calls me by my real name. Ang manang ng datingan. Of all the names that they could use to name me, they chose that name. Dad massaged his temples. Napailing. “That's my order, Gabriela! As long as you are living under this roof with me, you will follow me. No BUTS!” His lips almost pressed in a thin line. Ganun siya kagalit. I sarcastically laugh. “What? Are you serious? If that's what you want, sige. Aalis ako dito sa bahay.” Pabor pa sa akin na umalis na dito sa bahay. Napatayo na si Dad. Binagsak ang palad sa lamesa. “Tumigil ka sa kahibangan mo.” Taas noo kong sinalubong ang tingin ni dad. “I won't. I can manage myself. I love you, Dad, but I don't want to be thrown away again like you always do. Kung saan-saan mo na lang ako dinadala na probinsya sa tuwing may death threat ka. Hindi naman ako siguro kasama sa papatayin nila.” "Gabriela! Watch your mouth." “I'm just stating the truth. Kung maipatapon mo ako kung saang lupalop sa Pilipinas, akala mo wala na ako sariling buhay. I'm tired of hiding.” "Wala kang magagawa kun'di ang sundin ang sinasabi ko. Sa Quezon Province ka maglalagi hangga't hindi ko sinasabi na babalik ka na rito!" "No!" "I'm not asking you. Sinasabi ko sa iyo na uuwi ka ng Quezon hangga't may banta pa sa buhay ko." I wanted to yell and tell him na hindi ako pumapayag. Ayaw ko. Hindi ko gusto. But my mouth just keeps silent. Inis akong tumalikod. "Gabriela! Come back here." Napatigil ako sa tuluyan na paglabas ng office ni dad ng may bumangga sa akin na naka-maong na jacket na nakatupi and with his white plain shirt inside. He is wearing also his tattered jeans. He has lots of tattoos both in his arms. Ayun agad ang napansin ko dahil nabangga ko siya. Tiningnan ko siya mula paa hanggang ulo. My jaw dropped with his handsome but serious face. Dad approached us as I stared at this strange man in front of me. Sinulyapan lang ako nitong lalaki na kaharap ko. Ang sungit! Akala mo kung sinong gwapo. Yeah, I admit that he's handsome but I think ka-edad na niya si daddy. Mas bata lang siya I think ng 10 years kay dad. Nasa late forties na si daddy and I'm twenty-two now. Maagang nagpakasal sina mommy at daddy. But he's not my biological father. I have no plans on knowing or even trying to know where my real parents are. I have a better life with my parents now at kung nasaan man ang totoo kong pamilya, I don't care anymore. They have their reasons that's why they gave me. And whatever reason they have, I don't want to know anymore. Humalukipkip ako sa harapan niya. Giving him a poker face. Hindi ba niya ako kilala? He didn't even say sorry to me. Tsk. Rude. "Gabbie, this is Wyatt. Your new bodyguard." Mas nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi ni dad. Bodyguard? Siya? “Seriously, Dad?” I laughed without humor. “You're such a joker.” Sumimangot lalo si Dad sa sinabi ko. Iyong ngiti kong mapang-asar ay naglaho. I think I am in trouble. Mukha gangster 'tong bodyguard ko. Iyong tipong na-kick out noong nag-aaral pa tapos magiging bodyguard ko. Ang malas ko naman. I rolled my eyes. "No way! This can't be, Daddy." Reklamo ko. Hindi ako papayag. Mas mukha pa nga siyang nakakatakot. I heard Daddy heavily sigh again. "Pagpasensyahan mo na lang siya, Wyatt." Kausap niya sa kaharap ko. Isang tango ang sinagot ni Wyatt kay dad. Ang tipid. Mas lalong tumikwas ang kilay ko. "Wyatt? As in why and what?" I told him with a little humor dahil masyado siyang seryoso. Ni hindi nga siya ngumiti man lang. Unfortunately, he did not respond. Siguro matandang binata 'to. Masungit, e! I make a face. "Rude," I said, referring to him, but he never even glanced at me. Nakakainis talaga siya. "Gabriela..." saway sa akin ni daddy. “What?! Totoo naman. He didn't respond. He's my bodyguard, but he didn't even greet me. He's rude.” Inis kong paliwanag. "Ano na ba ang gagawin ko sa iyo? You are not listening to me anymore." May pagpipigil na galit na sabi ni Dad. Wyatt is just listening to us. Tahimik masiyado. Ang dalawang kamay niya ay nakalagay sa harapan niya. He's too formal. Gosh! I can picture him that he's so boring kasama. "Just let me live here." I quickly answered. Dad rubbed his forehead. The way he's looking at me, parang nauubusan na ng pasensya sa akin. "I already hired him to protect you. Siya ang kasama mo sa Quezon. At habang nandoon ka, tutulungan ka ni Wyatt na hanapin ang biological mother mo. The last information I got was that she was in Quezon. Nalaglag ang panga ko. "What for?" "You know that I received a death threat. Mas mapanganib ngayon ang nagbabanta sa akin. Whatever happens to me, alam kung may pamilya kang mauuwian at makakasama mo. I don't have to worry about you." "Dad! Why are you saying that? If that's only your reason, I will not go with him. I can take care of myself. Besides, I don't want to find out where they are." Hinawakan ako ni daddy sa magkabilang balikat at pinaharap sa kanya. I looked away. Nagtatampo at naiinis ako sa kanya. Ilalayo niya ako at dadalhin sa Quezon para lang makita ko ang nanay ko na nang-iwan sa akin. "Gabbie... just please, listen to me. I am doing this for you. Puntahan niyo ang address na binigay ko kay Wyatt. Kapag hindi ka niya tinanggap, bumalik ka rito. And I will allow you to move out and live on your own. May binili na akong condo para sa iyo." I slowly turned my gaze to him. For sure, hindi ako tanggapin ng nanay ko o baka nga hindi namin siya mahanap. Napakagat ako ng labi. It's a great deal. Magiging malaya na ako. We will travel for six to seven hours, and after that, we can go back here na in Manila. "Deal. Kailan kami aalis?" "Tonight." He quickly answered. Nanlaki ang mata ko. "Huh! Tonight agad? Hindi pa ako nakapag-prepare." "You don't have to bring much. May bahay na si Wyatt sa Quezon. You will stay there. Ipapadala ko na lang ang ibang gamit mo." "What?! Akala ko ba, kapag pinuntahan namin ang nanay ko, if she will not accept me, I can go back na here? Why do I have to stay in his house pa?" turo ko kay Wyatt na muntik ko nang makalimutan that he exists here. "You will get back here until we are safe." "No way! Parang wala namang pabor sa akin ang deal mo," reklamo ko ulit. I pout my lips. Nakakainis talaga. Akala ko, makakalipat na ako pero hindi pa pala. I don't like his deals. Parehas na ayaw kong gawin. "You will only stay in Wyatt's house just in case na hindi ka tanggapin ng nanay mo. Hanggang safe ka lang na makabalik ulit dito. That will only last for four to six months." "Seriously, dad?" I asked in disbelief. "Four to six months? That's too long. Ayaw ko!" I stomped my feet. Inakbayan ako ni Wyatt. "Ako na ang bahala sa kanya, Judge Torres." Inalis ko agad ang kamay niya. How dare he touch me like that! "Don't touch me. My goodness! Napaka- FC mo. You are just my bodyguard." Maarte kong sabi kay Wyatt at pinagpag ko pa ang balikat ko na hinawakan niya. His jaw clenched while looking at me. “FC?” nalilito niyang tanong. “FC. Feeling close!” Mas tumiim ang bagang niya. Nagkatingan silang dalawa ni daddy. My dad for the third time, deeply sighs. "Sige na, Wyatt. Ikaw na ang bahala sa anak ko." Wyatt nodded his head. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso at hinila palabas sa office ni dad. Nagmatigas ako para mahirapan siyang mahila ako. Akala ba niya, madali lang niya ako mapapasunod kaya lang malakas si Wyatt. Ang hirap magmatigas sa kanya. "Let go of my hand." Tinabig ko ang kamay niya. Bigla siyang huminto at humarap sa akin. Tumama ang noo ko sa baba niya dahil hanggang balikat lang niya ako. "Why did you stop?!" Hawak ko ang noo ko na tila nauntog sa pader. Ang tigas. Kasing tigas ng mukha niya. He stared at me. “Why are you ganyan makatingin? Are you angry with me na? Isusumbong kita kay dad.” Tinuro niya ang nilabasan namin na pinto. “Go on.” Tiningnan ko siya nang masama. “Gosh, Wyatt. Hindi pa kita nakakasama nang matagal but I knew it. This is a bad idea. Nakakainis kang kasama!” I said and walked out. • • • WALA na akong nagawa kun'di sumama kay Wyatt. He even helped me pack my things just to make sure na aalis kami ngayong gabi din. Nasa SLEX na kami banda. It's almost one in the morning. Natagalan ako sa pag-impake because I can't decide kung ano ang mga dadalhin ko. So I ended up bringing a lot of stuff. Limang maleta ang dinala ko na ayaw ipadala sa akin ni daddy plus my bag pack and makeup kit dahil masiyado raw madami. I looked up to Wyatt. Nakatutok lang ang attention niya sa pagda-drive. "Nasa 50's ka na ba, Wyatt?” Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa manibela at sinulyapan ako. He gave me a stern look. Nagpigil ako nang ngiti because of how he looked at me. “Thirty-nine.” He answered. There was a long period of silence after that. Boredom has set in. We are already in San Pablo. Hindi ko nga namalayan dahil ang bilis niyang mag-drive. I simply glanced at him. I noticed that he has a stud earring on his right ear na black. Maliit lang. Bumaba rin ang tingin ko sa bandang dibdib niya. Mas mukha talaga siyang gangster kaysa maging bodyguard ko. Ang dati kong bodyguard ay malinis at walang tattoo. Naka-suit pa. Pero siya, naka-rugged attire na nga mukha pa siyang suplado. Where did Daddy get him? Parang mas bibigyan pa niya ako ng trouble imbes na protektahan ako. Mukha kasi siyang siga talaga. My eyes stuck on his torso. Shocks. He has nice abs. Iyong bang kanin na lang ang kulang. "Eyes in front, Gabbie." Malamig niyang utos sakin pero ang tingin niya ay nakatutok sa daan. My jaw dropped. Napapansin pala niya ang pasimple kung ginagawa na pagkilatis sa kanya. I cleared my throat. "Assuming. I'm not looking at your body, 'no!" Inis akong inirapan siya at binalik ang tingin sa daan. He caught me looking at him! Nakakahiya. Baka isipin niya ay attracted ako sa kanya which is not true. I don't like older rugged handsome men. Handsome, yes. Pero matured sa akin, it's a big no. I like guys na kasing edad ko lang and wearing corporate attire, not tattered jeans. I leaned my head on the seat. “Why are you masungit, Wyatt? I was just looking at your earrings.” “I'm not. Why are you defensive?” “Of course not! Baka kasi iniisip mo na tinitingnan ko ang katawan mo. Look, you have nice abs but I didn't look at it, okay?” “Wala naman akong sinabi, Gabriela.” I rolled my eyes. “Will you stop calling me that name? I hate it.” “That's your name. Gabriela. Gabriela. Nice name.” “Omg, Wyatt. You're so annoying. I hate you.” I frowned. Humalukipkip ako't tumingin sa labas ng bintana. “Matulog ka na. Malayo pa tayo, Gabriela.” “Omg, nananadya ka ba? Just call me Gabbi, okay?” My gosh! Being with him is a torture for me. Masungit na, mapang-asar pa.