Our First Sunset

Chapter 1

Incomplete

I took a deep breath as I walked through the hallway with my colleagues in our office. They greeted me with a huge smile right after I got the promotion as an Account Executive in a prestigious PR company in the country. I had a meeting with the board members and they seemed convinced with my presentation a while ago. I've also closed another big transactions and opened up new accounts with some important clients.

"Congrats, Dione! Well, we expected na rin na you'll get the position. It suits you actually." One of my office mates greeted me and tapped my shoulder.

"Thank you. I've worked hard for it so I think I'm deserving for the job. " Pormal na sagot ko at inayos ang coat na bahagyang nagusot.

Hindi ko naman kailangang makipag-plastikan sa kanila. I know that they envy me for having such a good performance in this company. Imagine, I was only a beginner but it seems like I've got enough experiences. At 24, I knew I've learned enough with this kind of job.

"Sana all na lang, girl! You're both lucky! Sa love life at career!" Masayang sabi naman ng isa sa ka-office mate ko. She's also a fresh grad and intern pa lang sa kumpanya. She's fun to be with kaya siguro hindi siya mahiyain sa aming mga nauna sa kanya.

"Salamat..." Iyon na lang ang nasabi ko dahil inabala ko na ang sarili sa harap ng laptop. May mga naka-line up pa kasing papeles na kailangang asikasuhin.

"Alam mo, we should celebrate!" Lien suggested, my colleague and close friend in this company.

She's the only one I'm comfortable talking with in informal way in this office. Although I am a sociable person, I still have boundaries when it comes to connecting with different people. I also have a small circle of friends and night life is not my cup of tea. I prefer working and sleeping than killing my time over a glass of tequila and crowded places.

I automatically shook my head as an answer. Of course, she should expect that.

"Dione, mag-enjoy ka naman minsan."

"I'm enjoying. Work is also a form of enjoyment. It depends on how we see a certain thing as either an enjoyment or pressure and basically on how we deal with it." I said that made her speechless.

Alam kong hindi na niya gugustuhing makipagtalo sa akin. Sabi nga nila, I'm such a type of person who always have a say in everything. I always argue and defend the other side of the coin kaya ang nangyayari, people got intimidated with my presence. But it's a no. Hindi ako nagsasalita to raise an argument or to start a conflict with another person. It's just that I always have a different perspective so defending my side is the first thing I'll do.

"Okay, sabi mo 'yan eh. Baka lang kasi sobra mo nang busy sa trabaho, nakakalimutan mo na ang mag-enjoy. Mabuti nga rin na may lovelife ka para lasap mo din ang happiness." Humagikhik pa siya nang banggitin ang tungkol sa lovelife ko.

Hindi na lang ako nagcomment pa. Bumalik na siya sa table niya at ginawa ang sariling trabaho. Samantala, pinaglaruan ko ang ballpen na nasa ibabaw ng desk ko habang nagdo-double check ng accounts na pina-process ko.

"You're definitely wrong. My relationship isn't a typical one." I said to myself while doing my work.

Ang hindi alam ng lahat, hindi ganoon ka-perpekto ang buhay ko. Oo, masaya ako sa kung ano ang mayroon ako ngayon. Successful career, stable relationship, comfortable life and a concrete mindset. But at the back of my mind, I know that there's still a missing piece.

"Dione! I'm glad you came here for our celebration! Come inside, hija."

I let out a small smile when my mom welcomed me in their house. I'm no longer living with them. I moved in my small condo unit a year ago and living on my own. They didn't say anything with my decision back then. Nasanay na silang kaya ko nang alagaan ang sarili ko.

"Congratulations." Tipid na pagbati ko sa bunso naming kapatid.

She's a licensed teacher now. We're three siblings and I'm the second. My older brother is currently pursuing his doctorate degree in Philosophy. My parents are both supervisors in two of the best international schools in Manila. Indeed, I came from a family of educators. It's just me who pursued my dream career.

"Thanks, ate! I thought hindi ka makaka-attend. Palagi kang busy sa work mo." My sister said with an awkward smile on her face.

I just replied with a simple nod. Later on, the dinner started. Iilan lang ang bisitang inimbita nila mama. They are private people kaya intimate lang ang mga party na ino-organize nila.

"Dione, hija. How was your work?" My dad asked after a long silence.

Ramdam ko ang mga tinging bumaling sakin kaya pansamantala akong tumigil sa pagkain.

"It's good. I got another promotion." Simpleng sabi ko na tila ba hindi big deal sa akin ang ganoong achievement.

Well, for what? Even before, they didn't celebrate any of my success.

"Ganoon ba hija. So it's a double celebration then!" Masayang sabi ni mama kahit na awkward ang ambiance ng paligid.

I just smiled to at least appreciate them. Ito lang 'yong unang beses na sinabi nilang masaya sila sa kung anuman ang naabot ko. Naaalala ko pa noong graduation ko two years ago. My mom was late that time, so my dad was the only one who's with me when I received my award. I was the Summa c*m Laude and got an Excellence Award. My mom came when the ceremony was almost over. I had no choice but to take pictures with them even I've been carrying a heavy feeling that time.

Alam ko naman...hindi nila suportado ang kursong kinuha ko. I was the only one who fought for my dream. They just supported me financially but deep inside, they resent me. They expected too much.

"Hija... Why didn't you bring your boyfriend here?" My dad broke the silence.

Uminom muna ako ng tubig bago siya tingnan. Hindi na rin naman ako nagulat na itatanong nila sa akin 'yon.

"Vince and I broke up a while ago." I answered casually.

I heard gasps and felt their questioning look. Alam ko na ang tumatakbo sa isip nila.

"W-why? You two looked good together." My mom chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah, but we're too much for each other, Ma. I guess, that's a better decision."

Alam nilang hindi ko gusto na pinag-uusapan ang personal kong buhay. Kaya hindi na nagsalita si mama pagkatapos noon. Nagpatuloy ang kwentuhan hanggang sa matapos ang dinner.

My mother suggested that I should stay overnight but I refused. May mga trabaho pa akong kailangang asikasuhin. Nagpunta lang ako saglit sa dinner celebration para sa kapatid ko. Medyo na-late na nga ako nang kaunti dahil sa naging pag-uusap namin ng boyfriend ko.

"Are you sure na hindi ka mags-stay? Malinis pa naman ang kwarto mo, ate."

My younger sister accompanied me towards our gate. Busy na sila mama sa pag-aasikaso sa ibang bisita na kamag-anak din namin kaya hindi na niya ako naihatid. Ayos lang naman. Kahit ano man ang gawin niya, hindi na mababago ang nangyari noon. I'm no longer their daughter who only wants to prove herself to them.

Tapos na ako sa bagay na 'yon.

"I have to go. Take care." Tipid na saad ko at hinagilap ang susi ng aking Ford Everest.

My sister nodded and waved her hand. Hindi na ako nagsalita pa at ini-start ang engine ng sasakyan. I drove away from the house where I've grew up for so many years. A house that was supposed to be a home but now...a complete stranger to me even the people inside it.

I've arrived at my condo unit a bit of late but still, peace welcomed me. Ito ang bagay na gusto ko, ang mapag-isa. Mas nakakaramdam ako nang peace of mind kapag sarili ko lang ang kasama ko. Yes, my line of work involves too many people I need to talk with. But at the end of the day, I always wanted to be alone.

Sabi nga nila kahit pala sobrang sociable mong tao, you can be an introvert, too.

"Dione...is there's something you're still looking for?" I asked myself while staring my reflection at the vanity mirror.

I've changed into my favorite pajamas and currently combing my long jet black hair. It feels so comfortable when I only have myself.

But suddenly, a memory of what happened flashed in my head. My conversation with my boyfriend, now my ex, whom I spend almost a year of my life.

"Dione, how long you'll be acting this way? I asked you for marriage a couple of times! Bakit ayaw mo pa ring mag-settle sa akin...sa atin?"

Vince...my recent boyfriend looked so frustrated while we are having a confrontation in his office's parking lot. He's a general manager in a construction firm. I've met him because his parents are associated with my family in terms of family gatherings and charity organizations.

"I told you that I am not yet ready. Marriage is the last thing I'll consider with my life. Why are you blaming me now? Unang-una pa lang, sinabi ko na sa'yo kung ano ang mga plano ko. Walang nagbago doon." Kalmado kong paliwanag habang kitang-kita ko kung gaano siya ka-emotional ngayon.

Well, this guy is really a head ache!

"Dione, paano ako? We're both stable! I could provide for our family! I can be a good father. Pwedeng...pwedeng sa bahay kana lang at nag-aalaga ng mga anak natin---"

Naputol ang sinasabi niya nang bigla akong natawa. Seryoso ba siya? Iyon ang gusto niyang gawin ko? Ang maging plain housewife?

"Gosh, Vince. That was funny! Never sumagi sa isip ko ang bagay na 'yan." Natatawa pa ring sabi ko at nakita ko ang disappointment na dumaan sa mukha niya.

"Seryoso ka ba, Dione? So we're not on the same page, are we?"

I immediately shook my head.

"Edi sarili mo lang ang iniisip mo! Puro na lang ikaw, Dione! Hindi kana bata to think that way."

"No. You're the one who acts childish. I already told you my plans and no one, even you, can change that." I said with too much conviction.

Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala habang nakatingin sa mukha ko. Nasuklay niya ang buhok gamit ang kanyang daliri. Siguro ay talagang sumasakit na ang ulo niya sa mga sinabi ko.

"You...you know what?" He stepped back away from me. "You.. you are impossible! I quit! It's done!" He exclaimed and walked away from the place where we're both standing.

I didn't give any single word. Mabilis akong sumakay ng aking sasakyan at nagmaneho patungo sa bahay ng parents ko.

Well, there are still more things to think of than a nonsense drama. He doesn't deserve any of my time in the first place.