I'm a 41 year old single mother and it seems like I never get a break it seems like I have that looking boyfriends working on a divorce and it seems like I never ever have time to get my life together always doing for others but yet when I'm going through something I can't find anyone can anybody else seem to understand where I'm coming from cuz it seems like I feel like I'm the only one sometimes but I'm hoping that this book can help somebody know that they're not alone now I guess I could start from somewhat the beginning and then kind of work my way down I've always been very trusting loyal if you are my friend you are my friend and I would do anything for you but yet I have never ever got the same courtesy in return but I never let that default me from being who I am because I know one day I hope one day that I will run across somebody who will value that not yet hasn't happened yet you can say I'm hope hopeful romantic I want to be in love I want to love but yet I give that love to the wrong men and through all that I'm alone and people still want to take from me and I don't get it so let me start off with me being 18 on my own got my own place working doing good taking care of myself on my own doing pretty good reach 23 and I met my first son's dad thought he was a nice guy his mom actually introduced us never hit me never yelled at me if I was being difficult he'll just go take a walk he started off like that then I got pregnant we moved out to Auburn had the baby and one night he just flashed on me and poured hot grease on me and that just broke my heart cut all my hair off I had nervous breakdown and yet once again nobody came to my eight like that I was left dealing with that on my own and which hurt you know so end up going into a shelter end up getting my own place doing really good baby's dad was locked up didn't deal with him doing real good making sure had my life together going to work son going to daycare it's basically now getting my self-esteem back up and basically staying away from thugs and then I started getting lonely and my son didn't have any kind of father figure and I was just saying that I didn't want to date a thug I wanted to a normal guy somebody who was going to give us a normal life you know and I met my husband he was in the military at that time for 13 years thought he was a nice guy will go on trips go to Portland every weekend or whatever I wanted just a real nice guy didn't really understand why he was trying to move in with me so much or so fast and didn't really pay attention I was just so relieved not to have somebody that wasn't a thug somebody normal I thought wanted me and didn't want to use me and that was a lie but back to going forward a little too far so we started dating and I was telling him that it was like we started dating for like it was like a year in and I was telling him that what are we going to do is it going to be serious or what because I don't want to play games you know and so he understood I was like I'm you can't just lay up with me and we not be married or engaged so super close which was one of the happiest days of my life I've never smiled and so hard and felt so happy I was getting married I thought he was somebody that I have no matter what he was my best friend I thought and the whole time he was using didn't even know it yet so we and him decided to have a son so I got off birth control we had a baby you got married beautiful baby boy didn't find out later what was wrong that he had autism he's nonverbal now I'm still such a sweet boy my son was 6 months well let's bring it back when I find out he's cheating on me when I'm pregnant denies it lies to me on my face when I see the evidence in front of my face and it first started off with him lying about the bills and I was wondering where the money was going and he was lying and come to find out he was getting kicked out the military and I didn't even know so I started losing everything and so fast it just happened so fast I can't even how you can just have everything one minute and then one minute you have nothing and the whole time he's lying and you're trusting him and it sucks so at 6 months when my son turned 6 months we lose everything we're sleeping in the car homeless but during all this when things were good my brother's day with me everybody's came to live with me when things went wrong go to the night if you need money go to them out of it when shit went wrong for me I couldn't go to nobody had two kids and a car and all these people that I helped nobody had my back like it's like peoplelike people suddenly had their own issues they had to deal with but didn't nobody think about what you had to deal with so we're living in our car you're stressed out you're trying to make sure don't nobody know you're living in the cars or your kids are still looking nice no nobody know you're homeless I get doing drugs very heavily because I don't know how else to handle all of it and and no

a woman with two kids going through a separation and trying to figure out her life