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Perception

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Blurb

Yoo Jeongyeon actually likes Im Nayeon in a romantic way but is unsure of how to act on these feelings for her. Hidden in subtle gestures, rare moments, and a lot of teasing and bullying, Jeongyeon tries to survive being in love with her unnie and at the same time hide what she thinks would be her unrequited feelings.

Oh and there is also the million dollar (or won) question: what does Nayeon feel about her?

The title is a variation of the English translation of the Filipino word "Pagtingin". It is a famous song by the group Ben&Ben. You can listen to it or read the lyrics to understand the meaning of the song. It is such a bop but at the same time can be relatable, especially for those who have fallen in love with a friend.

The theme of the story, however, is based on the song "Out of My League" by Fitz and the Tantrums. The title already says it all, don't you think?

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Prologue
The rooftop. Perfect, Jeongyeon thought. It was late at night and the group had just finished another practice for their upcoming comeback. Her friends had gone on before her while Jeongyeon stayed behind to catch some fresh air. It had been a really long and tiring day. The cold night air hit her face, her hair swaying against the wind. She welcomed the silence with open arms, desperately needing some alone time. There was no one there with her which sent a wave of relief washing through her very being. However, the serene circumstances could not settle the inner turmoil she has been experiencing for the past few weeks now. "Aish!" Jeongyeon cursed at the air for the umpteenth time as she ran her hands through her shoulder length hair. "Why?! Why, of all people, did I have to fall in love with you?" she continued to talk to the night sky as if the moon and stars held the answers to the questions she threw at them. ... "Please love me more Jeongyeon-ssi," She requested in a half-joking manner and wrapped an arm around the younger girl's shoulders. Jeongyeon merely kept to herself, chuckling nervously at her unnie. However, the request echoed through her mind, sending a sharp pang straight to her heart. Though the voice was meant to be teasing, the words hit her differently for some reason... ... "Why did you have to act that way around me?" Jeongyeon questioned to no one in particular. She leaned against the railing, her head hanging low. ... "Just be honest. I thought you didn't like me but you love me," she declared confidently, her eyes twinkling mischievously at the flustered Jeongyeon beside her. Chaeyoung, Jihyo, and Jeongyeon laughed at this, with the latter laughing nervously. She had the tendency to be full of herself but this is honestly what Jeongyeon found endearing in her unnie. She had so much confidence in herself, especially in her aegyo. But truthfully, Jeongyeon felt she didn't need to pull an aegyo when she was already naturally cute. "She jokes around me because she likes me," she continued. Jeongyeon couldn't bear to look at her as she was fighting off a blush. Though she knew her unnie only did this to embarrass her, she can't help but feel a little nervous that her statements are hitting closer to home. Am I really that obvious? Jeongyeon thought. Hopefully not. I couldn't bear it if they found out. ... "Why did it have to be you, unnie?!" she cried, her voice starting to crack. She grasped the railing as if it was a lifeline. Her knees felt weak, that face with the bunny-like smile coming to mind and assaulting her bleeding heart. ... The airport wasn't as jam-packed as usual, even with their fans waiting for them. Though they weren't as many in terms of numbers, they were starting to get a little rowdy. They slowly began pushing towards the bodyguards who were linking hands beside them, intent on getting closer to their idols. One particular push had one guard stumbling backwards, causing him to bump against her unnie. It felt like slow-motion, with her descending to the ground as she began to fall forwards. Being the protective member she is, Jeongyeon's arm shot out on instinct and wrapped around her waist, keeping her steady and standing.  "You okay, unnie?" Jeongyeon asked, raising her voice a little so she could be heard from the cacophony of rowdy fans welcoming them back from their overseas trip. She nodded, giving her that cute bunny-like smile that Jeongyeon found she loved receiving from her. "Yes. Gomawo, Jeongyeon-ah." Jeongyeon smiled back at her. She kept her arm wrapped around the older girl's waist, shielding her with her body from the commotion happening around them. Slowly and surely, they started walking away with their group, intent on leaving the airport as quickly as they could to escape the amorous fans that were following after them. And while all this happening, not once did Jeongyeon think to remove her arm from around her unnie. She didn't even realize it herself until they reached their van. ... "Why can't you see how much this is affecting me?" She knew if she wasn't holding on to the railing, she would have collapsed by now. The feelings felt too constricting, taking away her ability to breathe and leaving her panting as if she had just ran a marathon. ... The group had separated to prepare for their selected stages. Her unnie wanted to pair up with her and decided they were going to perform a cover of "My Ear's Candy" originally by Baek Ji-young. While she was ecstatic to perform with the older girl, their choreography began to prove a little overwhelming for poor Jeongyeon as they required close contact with each other. She can't deny, however, that she loved dancing like that with her unnie. She could get as close as she wants, steal kisses- not on the lips, of course, she's not THAT brave- as much as she wants without having to reveal her real feelings towards her unnie. She loved every practice session they had, especially the end part where they were supposed to wrap their arms around each other and pull each other close, their faces only a few inches from each other. It took all her willpower not to close the remaining inches separating them and press her lips on her unnie's succulent ones. This particular practice was as tempting as ever. Her heart fluttered at the thought of kissing her unnie.  Despite the voice telling her to take the risk, her rational side made her stay put along with the thought that kissing her would ruin everything they had built through the years. With those thoughts entering her mind, Jeongyeon was taken back to the cold, hard reality that they were merely friends and that her unnie probably wouldn't reciprocate her feelings. With that in mind, she pulled away after the music had stopped and ran towards the exit, ignoring her members' calls for her. She needed to get out, it was too suffocating being in the same room as her in that moment. Somehow, along the way, she had fallen in love. And it hurt. ... "Why?" she cried once again, the tears now streaming down her face in steady flows. "What did I do to deserve this?!" ... Nine of them gathered around their living room, watching the news. She lay her head on Jeongyeon's shoulder and gripped her arm. The name and a face flashed on-screen, sending a shiver down everyone's spines, especially for Jeongyeon and the older girl hugging her arm. "More news have surfaced regarding the stalker of TWICE's Nayeon. Alarmed TWICE fans [ONCEs] are fearing for Nayeon's safety once again, in light of violent threats allegedly made by her stalker..." By this time, the girl beside her had buried her face deeper into her shoulder, refusing to look at the screen. Jeongyeon's eyes surveyed her friends, looking for the one who was holding the TV remote. She found Jihyo holding onto it, her eyes glued to the screen. She called her attention. The look in Jeongyeon's eyes was enough for Jihyo to understand what the girl wanted. She nodded, turned off the TV, and stood up to address them. "Okay, that's enough, everyone! It's time for bed. We have a busy day tomorrow," she said in a clear, loud voice. Her eyes landed on Jeongyeon and the girl who had her face hidden in the former's shoulder. Jeongyeon shot her a grateful smile as well as a silent "Gomawo". She returned the smile then herded the others into their rooms. She found solace in the fact that Jeongyeon was there to provide comfort for their unnie. The other girls gave pats and rubs on the back and hair as well as comforting words to their oldest member who still hasn't raised her head from Jeongyeon's shoulder as they proceeded towards their respective rooms. Soon, the room was empty except for the two still sitting on the couch. Jeongyeon wrapped her arms around the now trembling girl's frame, shushing her and whispering comforting things in her ear. Soon, her unnie finally unwrapped her arms from around her and revealed her teary face towards her. "Jeong..." she said in a shaky voice. "What is it, unnie?" she asked in a low voice, her hands wiping the fallen tears from the older girl's face. "I-I... I'm scared," she sobbed, her teary eyes piercing Jeongyeon's already bruised and battered heart. Her unnie was hurt and it hurt her too. But Jeongyeon soldiered through the pain and pulled her in for a tight hug, letting her unnie sob into her shoulder. "You don't need to worry. I'm always here for you... we all are. I won't let him do anything to you... not while I'm still here." "P-Promise?" "I promise... Nayeon-ah." She had fallen in love hard... but if it was her, Jeongyeon supposes it was worth it. Was it? ... She shakes her head to expel the various random moments they shared in the past that suddenly keep popping into her brain but to no avail. It felt like her unnie was ingrained into her very being... and there was nothing she could do to get her out of her system- more specifically, her heart. In desperation, she tightly gripped the railing once again and angrily shouted into the wind, "Why did I have to love you... "Im Nayeon?!"

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